In my very younger years, I went to my home town to spend the Xmas with my now late grandma. One morning, I accompany a new friend to the village stream to go swimming. It was my first time going to the stream, so I was excited about the adventure.

When we got there, we met other young fellas already joyfully swimming. Out excitement, I pull of my shirt and trouser, and ran towards the stream.

As I was about to dive into the water, my friend shouted in our native language, "Test the water before you dive inside!"

"What!," I turned around and look at him.

He said, "there are big stones under, in some parts of the stream. You might dive in on a stone and injure or kill yourself."

I was like "Wow! Thanks"

So gradually, step by step, I walked into the stream to "test the water" with my legs to see if it safe to dive. It turned out that, in the exact place I was about dive in was a big sharp stone. This new friend saved my life.

As I grew older, I realized that the term testing the waters wasn't really a new concept. Most companies test their products before launching it; they even give it to people for free and get their feedbacks before finally launching it and marketing it.

It's used in dating. Imagine you are hanging out with this new lady and then the idea of kissing her flash on my mind...So you boldly lean in to kiss her...but surprisingly you are soundly and harshly rejected by her, "Stop it, how dare you try to kiss me...nonsense. "

That's a big move, that ended in big failure: you are gonna have to cope with the awkwardness.

Ok...

What if Instead of just diving in to kiss her, you smartly first "test the waters" by softly touching her on the arm or hand and observing her reaction. A girl that reject your touch on her arms or hand, will definitely reject your kiss. It's not rocket science, it's common sense.

The best gold digging and exploitative ladies are pro at testing the waters first before lunching a big exploitation attempt.

If you just meet her and she immediately ask you for 50k to fix hair....that's asking too much for a start... you are gonna freak out, "Wow! What a gold digger!"

And then you'll start avoiding her or you'll make a more logically decision about what to do next.

But unfortunately, these women are smarter than that; they won't want to dive into the stream of sharp stones.

At first, she will wants to see if you are willing to spend any money at all.

Oftentimes, she "test the water" by asking you to spend a little bit on some completely trivial thing; like the normal anthem, "buy something for me." Or "buy me lunch." Or "I'm hungry." Or "send me Data/airtime."

If she sees that you are not the kind of dude who can bring out cash, she may ghost on you quickly and look for another target to exploit financially.

If she sees that you are willing to spend, the game will begin proper.

In the beginning, a mere soft drinks and snacks may be enough for her, which costs just a few hundreds bucks. As the interactions goes, she gradually analyze you to see how much more money you are willing to spend on her.

She may suggest hanging out, but not just at any place but “somewhere posh”. Maybe like ShopRite, or go to the movies or chicken Sensation or Mr Biggs or whatever.

The costs only keep increasing.

Of course, she won't be grateful for the nice treatment, because afterall she's a woman and she's entiled to it...duh

But this just the beginning....

Yes, at first she looks like a good girl who doesn't demand. But that's just a facade.... as you enter a relationship with her, she suddenly voice certain demands. She needs to make her hair. She needs to change her wardrobe. She needs this. She needs that.


Soon she'll say her phone is broken or something... Now as a "real man", you have to bring out the cash to fix it or better still, buy her a new phone.


And as expected, it's turns out her birthday is right at the corner. Isn't it surprising how as soon as you start dating them, suddenly birthday is close by. Coincidence, right


What started with a trivial spending in the beginning has turned into a limitless liability.

Once she's done with you or she meets a new target who's willing to spend more, then It’s Game Over. She stylishly dumb you. And of course, she'll play the victim and make it look like it was all your fault.

This is why you better dodge that first trivial demand: "buy something for me." Please send me airtime/data" or "buy me lunch." Or "whatever little monetry demand.... If you don’t block that initial little demands, she’ll only want more and more.


Be wise brothers.

Interesting

Succintly written.
Always looking forward to your posts.

True talk
I can bet my balls you been a victim before

Banny tell me say make I show her love as month don end, I ask her if na she help me work throughout the month wey she go dey expect share of salary.


Next thing she said I wasn't even glad that she was chatting with me, say guys full her DM trying to get her attention.


I simply told her to give another person her attention cause she just lost mine. naso we turn status viewer till now, she usually comments on my status but I no dey reply, that train don move jare.

Mtceeww

This OP,

Omo, I twale for you!🙌🙌

You too Sabi!.👍👍

The Female Gender knows how to Manipulate like Madt!

Bro you legit die

Legit talk. Make I follow you asap

Therock5555:
Banny tell me say make I show her love as month don end, I ask her if na she help me work throughout the month wey she go dey expect share of salary.


Next thing she said I wasn't even glad that she was chatting with me, say guys full her DM trying to get her attention.


I simply told her to give another person her attention cause she just lost mine. naso we turn status viewer till now, she usually comments on my status but I no dey reply, that train don move jare.

Mtceeww

Guy where you go hide abeg? E don tey, how your side?

Where do you people see these kinda girls?

The cries of stingy/broke men.

Thank God my boyfriend doesn't wait for me to ask first before sending me money or taking me out.

100% accuracy

Ignore the fool above me tho

Pukkalolo:
In my very younger years, I went to my home town to spend the Xmas with my now late grandma. One morning, I accompany a new friend to the village stream to go swimming. It was my first time going to the stream, so I was excited about the adventure.

When we got there, we met other young fellas already joyfully swimming. Out excitement, I pull of my shirt and trouser, and ran towards the stream.

As I was about to dive into the water, my friend shouted in our native language, "Test the water before you dive inside!"

"What!," I turned around and look at him.

He said, "there are big stones under, in some parts of the stream. You might dive in on a stone and injure or kill yourself."

I was like "Wow! Thanks"

So gradually, step by step, I walked into the stream to "test the water" with my legs to see if it safe to dive. It turned out that, in the exact place I was about dive in was a big sharp stone. This new friend saved my life.

As I grew older, I realized that the term testing the waters wasn't really a new concept. Most companies test their products before launching it; they even give it to people for free and get their feedbacks before finally launching it and marketing it.

It's used in dating. Imagine you are hanging out with this new lady and then the idea of kissing her flash on my mind...So you boldly lean in to kiss her...but surprisingly you are soundly and harshly rejected by her, "Stop it, how dare you try to kiss me...nonsense. "

That's a big move, that ended in big failure: you are gonna have to cope with the awkwardness.

Ok...

What if Instead of just diving in to kiss her, you smartly first "test the waters" by softly touching her on the arm or hand and observing her reaction. A girl that reject your touch on her arms or hand, will definitely reject your kiss. It's not rocket science, it's common sense.

The best gold digging and exploitative ladies are pro at testing the waters first before lunching a big exploitation attempt.

If you just meet her and she immediately ask you for 50k to fix hair....that's asking too much for a start... you are gonna freak out, "Wow! What a gold digger!"

And then you'll start avoiding her or you'll make a more logically decision about what to do next.

But unfortunately, these women are smarter than that; they won't want to dive into the stream of sharp stones.

At first, she will wants to see if you are willing to spend any money at all.

Oftentimes, she "test the water" by asking you to spend a little bit on some completely trivial thing; like the normal anthem, "buy something for me." Or "buy me lunch." Or "I'm hungry." Or "send me Data/airtime."

If she sees that you are not the kind of dude who can bring out cash, she may ghost on you quickly and look for another target to exploit financially.

If she sees that you are willing to spend, the game will begin proper.

In the beginning, a mere soft drinks and snacks may be enough for her, which costs just a few hundreds bucks. As the interactions goes, she gradually analyze you to see how much more money you are willing to spend on her.

She may suggest hanging out, but not just at any place but “somewhere posh”. Maybe like ShopRite, or go to the movies or chicken Sensation or Mr Biggs or whatever.

The costs only keep increasing.

Of course, she won't be grateful for the nice treatment, because afterall she's a woman and she's entiled to it...duh

But this just the beginning....

Yes, at first she looks like a good girl who doesn't demand. But that's just a facade.... as you enter a relationship with her, she suddenly voice certain demands. She needs to make her hair. She needs to change her wardrobe. She needs this. She needs that.


Soon she'll say her phone is broken or something... Now as a "real man", you have to bring out the cash to fix it or better still, buy her a new phone.


And as expected, it's turns out her birthday is right at the corner. Isn't it surprising how as soon as you start dating them, suddenly birthday is close by. Coincidence, right


What started with a trivial spending in the beginning has turned into a limitless liability.

Once she's done with you or she meets a new target who's willing to spend more, then It’s Game Over. She stylishly dumb you. And of course, she'll play the victim and make it look like it was all your fault.

This is why you better dodge that first trivial demand: "buy something for me." Please send me airtime/data" or "buy me lunch." Or "whatever little monetry demand.... If you don’t block that initial little demands, she’ll only want more and more.


Be wise brothers.

You're a great observer who doesn't like making the same mistake twice. Kudos.. Simp's stay away..

siofra:
The cries of stingy/broke men.

Thank God my boyfriend doesn't wait for me to ask first before sending me money or taking me out.

Ikpu taa gi mmiri! Go and make your own money, small girl with small oranges.. Allow people to have a conducive conversation here.. Every time, stingy stingy! Are you incapacitated that you can't make money? If your boyfriend is your maga, then stop cheating on him by looking for those who will do more than he is doing for you. Na greediness go finish ur likes. You wan chop here, you wan chop there na so your neck go fall off one day.

Hungerbadoo:
Guy where you go hide abeg? E don tey, how your side?

Brother man, I dey oh.

Sorry I never start anything till now, my phone is a mess, I need to change phone first, I still dey gather money, as I dey gather, price of things dey increase, I tire like this

How's life Man?

Have you observed that 9ja girls sees relationship as poverty alleviation program?

The Op has just pointed out the obvious.

SoSuave News


Don Juan,

Here is some great advice from the SoSuave forum on when you should and should not give women gifts:

=======

Giving gifts early in the relationship sabotages what you're trying to accomplish.

Gifts send a couple of messages.

(1) You agree that she is a prize and that YOU are trying to woo HER.

(2) You are trying to compensate for some lacking on your part with gifts.

(3) You are attempting to buy her affection.

As a side note, you should be aware that if you buy flowers, gifts, et cetera early in the relationship, then you damn well better make sure that you buy her flowers and gifts for every other trivial event or holiday that comes up.

She will begin to expect things on Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, birthdays, Christmas, May Day, Saint Patrick's Day, Veterans Day, Arbor Day, Boxing Day, April Fool's Day, Your Three and a Half Month Anniversary, Her Dog's Birthday, and so on.

And each time you'd damn well better make sure that your flowers or gifts are BETTER than the ones you gave before, or she'll think you're getting cheap.

Let's just not fall into that trap at all.

It's appropriate to give gifts on the following occasions, PROVIDED THAT YOU'RE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE BEEN FOR A WHILE.

(1) Birthday

(2) Christmas

(3) One Year "Anniversary" (do NOT celebrate monthly anniversaries)

(4) Valentine's Day

(5) Special event such as graduation

You may also give flowers when they are not expected just to surprise her and make her think you're wonderful. DO NOT over do this. Maybe once every three months or so.

DO NOT send her flowers when you have f**ked up. I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes a girl will purposely start an argument just to get flowers from you when you apologize (even though it's her fault). I've seen it done. Not pretty.

In addition, giving flowers when you've messed up just confirms in her mind that you were a jerk. When she receives the flowers, she will not think "sweet guy" she will think "a**hole".

=======

I'd like to thank Giovanni Casanova for this great advice.

Some great tips on when you should and shouldn't give gifts to women.

Remember, excessive gift giving frames you as the pursuer and her as the prize to be won over. When what you really want to communicate is just the opposite.

Good luck!

Allen

Sosuave.com

Therock5555:



Brother man, I dey oh.

Sorry I never start anything till now, my phone is a mess, I need to change phone first, I still dey gather money, as I dey gather, price of things dey increase, I tire like this

How's life Man?

Life is good bro, glad you're ok