We have a forum with a lot of people who are continuously at one other's throats, so I will obviously not spit this out, but somehow someone out there needs to hear this.

Ladies/gentleman, I recognise that you are an adult with the ability to choose, but I also want you to realise that you can make better decisions if you don't overestimate your worth. I observed this happening all around me, especially to my beloved friend.

On Facebook, 2012, I connected with Angela, a wonderful Black American with no baggage. She has a fantastic career, a beautiful home, close ties to her family, no children, and a dog, but I didn't want to date a "older woman" because she was older than me by 5 years, and she wasn't ready to date a man from Nigeria. She will not want to be with a man who is "straight off the boat", according to her. So, we decide to remain close friends, a connection that we have fostered ever since.

The most of the time, we are open and honest with each other. I recall telling her to find a partner and get married in the beginning of our friendship. She told me that "she will not want to settle for less" in her own words. She continued to tell me that she would never go out of her way to sleep with a white man and that she would never want to marry a man with children because they would bring baggage into the marriage. She continued by informing me that most respectable males in America are in a relationship or multiple relationships, one in four black Americans have a criminal record, and there is a sizable black LGBT population.


She only accepts to have her needs met by a select group of guys, either former university classmates or coworkers. Therefore, while she enjoys having sex with those men, she does not desire them as a partner.

As she advances professionally, financially, and in the context of marriage, her value as a woman continues to decline. Because marriage isn't really a major matter for Western women,so it wasn't an issue. We made every effort to avoid discussing it, even though I was genuinely worried.
We have a three-hour conversation about everything, including our sex lives, relationships, families, and other topics, fast forward to last week. When my friend informed me that she had tried to date a man who had two children by different women, but that he had cheated on her and had a dating website profile, I was shocked.

She expressed her desire to travel to Africa, specifically Ghana. I offer to do all of the planning. She says she won't mind as long as it leads to anything serious when I jokingly ask her if she'd like to get laid in Ghana.

This individual is a good person, yet she overestimated her genuine worth. She had the option of making lemonade out of her lemon. She had the ability to select the best option when she was at her best. We frequently reject good people and accept things that fall far short of our expectations. They don't have a good physique, are still in school, or lack specific attributes, I've seen guys reject good women who later pick the worst of the worst.

Please understand that as a lady, you shouldn't pick a guy who is sloppy, unhygienic, from a dysfunctional family, doesn't respect you or any woman, and whose ego is out of control. Never, ever, ever accept a nonentity as a lady.

Never let a woman guilt-trip you into getting into a relationship with her if she is selfish, has poor parenting, no excellent education, and no clear job prospects. Pick a female who will respect, value, and develop a relationship with you. She could not be particularly attractive or intellectual.

Happy sunday Folks.

Nice writeup sprinkled with truth and fact .How far you and funmi?

IconicR:
Nice writeup sprinkled with truth and fact .How far you and funmi?

My babe is cool. We are okay. Thanks for checking on us. Hope you are doing great.

sirjamesjnr:
My babe is cool. We are okay. Thanks for checking on us. Hope you are doing great.

I'm doing great. Thanks

Haha

I've been thinking for a long time why some people overvalue themselves, and think they are too good for most people. After much thoughts, I pinned it down to lack of intellectual depth.

Going to school doesn't mean one has an intellectual depth, it simply means you're schooled, or certificated. What you know is basically what the educational system wants you to know. You're susceptible to brainwashing.

Intellectual depth is like having the Bible of life. So you won't make mistake of the future by your actions of today. This is where good parenting and a healthy society comes into play. The importance of a good parent is to prevent a child from mistakes that would cost them their future.

Parents have passed through childhood themselves, have lived longer than you, and can help you reach your destination faster. Good parenting are your life boost. You'll see some kids done with master degree at 25, while some adults didn't even attend high school. That's good parenting.

Society has also evolved from thousand of years to come up with a system that works. So things like integrity, chastity, good morals are qualities to have, to make life easy on you.

One angel of Intellectual depth will be to first of all, operate from a position of imperfection. That you're not perfect, and others are not too. Imperfections should not be confused with dysfunction. Being a stammerer is an imperfection, being a criminal or a prostitute is dysfunction.

If someone is genuinely good to you, see you as a part of them, has a admirable character and on an upward move to becoming the best they could be, such person should be a strong candidate for a partner if the situation occurs.

Their other imperfections should be overshadowed by their other good qualities. Also, what every adult have come to learn is that the people that truly loves you are very very few. If you're lucky to find some, don't waste it. It hardly comes back.

pansophist:
I've been thinking for a long time why some people overvalue themselves, and think they are too good for most people. After much thoughts, I pinned it down to lack of intellectual depth.

Going to school doesn't mean one has an intellectual depth, it simply means you're schooled, or certificated. What you know is basically what the educational system wants you to know. You're susceptible to brainwashing.

Intellectual depth is like having the Bible of life. So you won't make mistake of the future by your actions of today. This is where good parenting and a healthy society comes into play. The importance of a good parent is to prevent a child from mistakes that would cost them their future.

Parents have passed through childhood themselves, have lived longer than you, and can help you reach your destination faster. Good parenting are your life boost. You'll see some kids done with master degree at 25, while some adults didn't even attend high school. That's good parenting.

Society has also evolved from thousand of years to come up with a system that works. So things like integrity, chastity, good morals are qualities to have, to make life easy on you.

One angel of Intellectual depth will be to first of all, operate from a position of imperfection. That you're not perfect, and others are not too. Imperfections should not be confused with dysfunction. Being a stammerer is an imperfection, being a criminal or a prostitute is dysfunction.

If someone is genuinely good to you, see you as a part of them, has a admirable character and on an upward move to becoming the best they could be, such person should be a strong candidate for a partner if the situation occurs.

Their other imperfections should be overshadowed by their other good qualities. Also, what every adult have come to learn is that the people that truly loves you are very very few. If you're lucky to find some, don't waste it. It hardly comes back.

Hmmmm

You didn't answer my last question

Hopebringer:


Hmmmm

You didn't answer my last question

And what is your last question?

pansophist:


And what is your last question?

Check my last mention , it is in the mentions section

pansophist:
I've been thinking for a long time why some people overvalue themselves, and think they are too good for most people. After much thoughts, I pinned it down to lack of intellectual depth.

Going to school doesn't mean one has an intellectual depth, it simply means you're schooled, or certificated. What you know is basically what the educational system wants you to know. You're susceptible to brainwashing.

Intellectual depth is like having the Bible of life. So you won't make mistake of the future by your actions of today. This is where good parenting and a healthy society comes into play. The importance of a good parent is to prevent a child from mistakes that would cost them their future.

Parents have passed through childhood themselves, have lived longer than you, and can help you reach your destination faster. Good parenting are your life boost. You'll see some kids done with master degree at 25, while some adults didn't even attend high school. That's good parenting.

Society has also evolved from thousand of years to come up with a system that works. So things like integrity, chastity, good morals are qualities to have, to make life easy on you.

One angel of Intellectual depth will be to first of all, operate from a position of imperfection. That you're not perfect, and others are not too. Imperfections should not be confused with dysfunction. Being a stammerer is an imperfection, being a criminal or a prostitute is dysfunction.

If someone is genuinely good to you, see you as a part of them, has a admirable character and on an upward move to becoming the best they could be, such person should be a strong candidate for a partner if the situation occurs.

Their other imperfections should be overshadowed by their other good qualities. Also, what every adult have come to learn is that the people that truly loves you are very very few. If you're lucky to find some, don't waste it. It hardly comes back.

I have never said this to anyone personally on NL, but must do it now, bro. I just love most of your post and comments. Your depth of knowledge, objective views, advice (especially on marriage and/or female affairs) are on point.
** I share with many of your thoughts and views, I think we are similar, sort of **. I couldn't help but send you a PM. You did not reply, like you said, you don't like people sending you email. So, I understand. I would have ask some personal questions. No qualms, keep up the good works, you are touching lives positively. More power to you.

Getsaved:


I have never said this to anyone personally on NL, but must do it now, bro. I just love most of your post and comments. Your depth of knowledge, objective views, advice (especially on marriage and/or female affairs) are on point.
** I share with many of your thoughts and views, I think we are similar, sort of **. I couldn't help but send you a PM. You did not reply, like you said, you don't like people sending you email. So, I understand. I would have ask some personal questions. No qualms, keep up the good works, you are touching lives positively. More power to you.

I sent you a pm.

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate

Did Angela really overvalued herself or did depreciation set in? Maybe Angela was short sighted but it’s never too late. We can find happiness wherever we find ourselves in life.

You think Angela’s life would have turned out better if she got married early and started a family? So many people did that and their lives turned out for worse.

The road not travelled isn’t always the best road. Once we realize whatever bad happens to us isn’t personal, we stop being entitled to only the goodies of life. No losses in life. We win or we learn.

There’s no guarantee that Angela wouldn’t have found herself in this position eventually no matter what road she took. May Edochie did everything right? She will be back in the market soon, getting No’s from guys she wouldn’t have considered in the past.

Before many of us started becoming abusive, this forum is where we used to express our views, used to be enjoyable. I appreciate you expressing your ideas. I have to be honest with you—it's incredibly challenging to keep from overestimating one's value. I'm referring to the considerable work you expended to complete several difficult courses and advance your professional standing. plus come from a respectable background, It's alluring. You'll want nothing but the best.

If you let any of this influence your selection while choosing a mate, you might have to wait a while and usually settle for the lowest possible option. Despite this, I will never think of choosing a dirty, baggage-filled lowlife as my partner. Imagine a lady who doesn't have a job or maybe a job that can't even fix her three good meal for a month telling any man who doesn't have a car or a house to stay away from her. In Nigeria we play too much

My friend had her MSC and was doing great when I first met her. She was doing well for herself. The issue was that she required him to be BLACK AMERICAN, have a master's degree, be employed, earn six figures, own a home, and have no children from any prior relationships. As she put it, "Someone who can take good care of her because she believes she is entitled to it".

She lost some value. Consider the possibility that my friend dates a man who is the father of children by two different women. My mind was blown. Due to her advanced age, she had already ruled out having children.