But i have some good friends... Despite the fact that some also are bad. Op and many others are just unfortunate. Good fiends exist.

I was stabbed so many times because of friendship and carefree lifestyle. I don't trust anybody again, only greetings and pleasantries is what I'm holding at the moment.
No friends worth dying for except Ur own is guinine. What baffled me is that these are the people u are sharing Ur problems with and they are the problems.

Very Apt

NOwazobia:
My personality won't even let such type of friends cross my part, let alone experiencing their shit.


Our personalities has a lot to do with the type of people around us.

IconicR:
I don't believe in friendship or trust people anymore. I use to be so carefree and very generous till I learnt my lessons the very hard way.
My mom is my best friend and gist partner, any other friend is an acquaintance and they know it.

Good for you!

For some, it's their mothers that are the roadblock to a great future.

Am 100% sure the guy come from brown roof republic fear our westside bro them.

brain54:
OP I take it you don’t want to go into details…


So I will leave it at that.

As for your topic most times this is caused by unnecessary competition and jealousy.

I tolerate a lot in relationships with friends/people. But the one thing I can never adapt to or accept is jealousy.

Immediately I get a hint of it I cut the person of and discard him like a piece of trash. No matter how close I was with the person.

I understand people aren’t perfect. Everyone have short comings but a jealous and envious person can go to any length to harm or work against someone. I don’t want such people around me.

I fear a jealous person more than anything!

It's even worse when you have them as neighbors. You can easily shake them off if you have such friends. But neighbors? It's another ball game. You will have at least 1 yr with them on your matter. But then your ego will not allow you to pack out after your rent lapses. However, if you have them as landlord, you won't have any choice than to terminate your lease.

IconicR:
I don't believe in friendship or trust people anymore. I use to be so carefree and very generous till I learnt my lessons the very hard way.
My mom is my best friend and gist partner, any other friend is an acquaintance and they know it.

No wahala,but that doesn't mean you should be posting rubbish on Nairaland

MrAbufayed:

No wahala,but that doesn't mean you should be posting rubbish on Nairaland

You obviously don't like truth that's why you have problems with my post

workchopNG:
I don't know if this is the right section for this topic, but then, since it's about relationship/friendship, I decided to post it here.

So, I read a rumour of how a young girl who scored 9 As in her WAEC result was poisoned to death. I can't confirm the authenticity of that story, but it took me to memory lane... Maybe, it was her best friend that poisoned her to death out of jealousy. That led me to create this thread.

Back to the topic. “It is better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” – George Washington.

I had my taste of a very bad friendship which lasted for more than 10 years. We met in school (higher institution). He approached me during my first few weeks in school, and we became friends.

He had some good sides, but the bad sides makes me question the good ones. We study and sit together during exam. We share answers codedly in hall, but I'm now thinking he might have been giving me the wrong answers while I was busy supplying him with the right ones.

All of this guy's effort was to have a better result than mine, and to make over 3.0 CGPA which he eventually succeeded at. There are times I could've gotten an A in some of my courses including a carryover, but this guy blocked it and have me got a C. I don't want to go into details.

Many things happened between us until few years ago when he referred me for a job, I got the job and was made the manager. The same company employed him a month later as a line manager. This is where he couldn't hide his true colour anymore and started being a thorn in my flesh in our work place.

Apparently he was pained that he referred me and I got a higher pay and position than he got. After many years of friendship, it was then I found out how dangerous that guy can be. I had to cut off that friendship few months into the job, and I'm never ready to have anything to do with that guy in my life again.

It's surprising how the same guy you dine with, drink with, party with, even travel to their hometown and sleep for days, has always been in competition with you without your knowledge. Such a person can kill out of jealousy.

We have to be careful of the kind of people we keep as friends. The funny thing is that I'm not even the best student while in school, why competing with me instead of the best students? Abi first class no dey sweet you Some people are perhaps and furthermore 😂🤣, even notwithstanding. 🤣😂😂

Una good morning o jare

The wicked has no brain.

RichTyler:

I remember a guy who referred a friend some years ago for a job,my friend got the job and the pay was good. My friend appreciated this guy and thanked him. But some months after this guy started telling people around that he is the one that helped my friend,that if it is not bcus of him my friend will be nowhere. It got to the point that this guy started calling my friend his boy in a degrading way. My friend got fed up when he the guy said he was the one feeding and clothing him. He approached the guy and they had serious quarrel and since the guy had connection with my friend's boss,he was able to get him sacked. Thankfully my friend saved and started a business and is doing okay. The guy dey try form familiarity but my friend no dey use eye look am.
My point is not all help is really help.

True. Most people choke you with any help they give you.

Infact, that guy that was choking your friend and OP have similar mentality.

If you have any dealings with a friend, both good or bad. Both of you quarrel and separate or both you go drink beer and bond.... Lock up the matter.

If you are my friend and you sabotage my progress, I go end the relationship.. I no go carry am for mind or talk your matter.

My Point is, Anybody wey de quick to condemn someone that did him 1 bad thing or the other (or that he helped him etc) no be better person.

Happened to me too. I believe they have no purpose or goal whereas U have urs so their goal becomes to do better or equal to You. One even told me I shouldn't worry He will get money, like say na me stop am from getting the money

sleekybaba:


Please shut up if you can't comprehend. Just shut up because you're one of them. Always support evil. Nonsense!

my reply was directed to the OP not to you. If you can't read between the lines then I'm afraid you are bereft of understanding

Ferrous:


Exactly my thought. He didn't want her to succeed, yet, he referred her for a job she's earning a higher amount of money. How many people does that, even in her family?

very easy to decode but sadly I'm being attacked for telling it as it is. I pray the OP learns and try to mend things with his benefactor

IconicR:
You obviously don't like truth that's why you have problems with my post

Which Truth?

workchopNG:
I don't know if this is the right section for this topic, but then, since it's about relationship/friendship, I decided to post it here.

So, I read a rumour of how a young girl who scored 9 As in her WAEC result was poisoned to death. I can't confirm the authenticity of that story, but it took me to memory lane... Maybe, it was her best friend that poisoned her to death out of jealousy. That led me to create this thread.

Back to the topic. “It is better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” – George Washington.

I had my taste of a very bad friendship which lasted for more than 10 years. We met in school (higher institution). He approached me during my first few weeks in school, and we became friends.

He had some good sides, but the bad sides makes me question the good ones. We study and sit together during exam. We share answers codedly in hall, but I'm now thinking he might have been giving me the wrong answers while I was busy supplying him with the right ones.

All of this guy's effort was to have a better result than mine, and to make over 3.0 CGPA which he eventually succeeded at. There are times I could've gotten an A in some of my courses including a carryover, but this guy blocked it and have me got a C. I don't want to go into details.

Many things happened between us until few years ago when he referred me for a job, I got the job and was made the manager. The same company employed him a month later as a line manager. This is where he couldn't hide his true colour anymore and started being a thorn in my flesh in our work place.

Apparently he was pained that he referred me and I got a higher pay and position than he got. After many years of friendship, it was then I found out how dangerous that guy can be. I had to cut off that friendship few months into the job, and I'm never ready to have anything to do with that guy in my life again.

It's surprising how the same guy you dine with, drink with, party with, even travel to their hometown and sleep for days, has always been in competition with you without your knowledge. Such a person can kill out of jealousy.

We have to be careful of the kind of people we keep as friends. The funny thing is that I'm not even the best student while in school, why competing with me instead of the best students? Abi first class no dey sweet you Some people are perhaps and furthermore 😂🤣, even notwithstanding. 🤣😂😂

Una good morning o jare

Jaido P Song E get Reason come to my side 🤣

workchopNG:
I don't know if this is the right section for this topic, but then, since it's about relationship/friendship, I decided to post it here.

So, I read a rumour of how a young girl who scored 9 As in her WAEC result was poisoned to death. I can't confirm the authenticity of that story, but it took me to memory lane... Maybe, it was her best friend that poisoned her to death out of jealousy. That led me to create this thread.

Back to the topic. “It is better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” – George Washington.

I had my taste of a very bad friendship which lasted for more than 10 years. We met in school (higher institution). He approached me during my first few weeks in school, and we became friends.

He had some good sides, but the bad sides makes me question the good ones. We study and sit together during exam. We share answers codedly in hall, but I'm now thinking he might have been giving me the wrong answers while I was busy supplying him with the right ones.

All of this guy's effort was to have a better result than mine, and to make over 3.0 CGPA which he eventually succeeded at. There are times I could've gotten an A in some of my courses including a carryover, but this guy blocked it and have me got a C. I don't want to go into details.

Many things happened between us until few years ago when he referred me for a job, I got the job and was made the manager. The same company employed him a month later as a line manager. This is where he couldn't hide his true colour anymore and started being a thorn in my flesh in our work place.

Apparently he was pained that he referred me and I got a higher pay and position than he got. After many years of friendship, it was then I found out how dangerous that guy can be. I had to cut off that friendship few months into the job, and I'm never ready to have anything to do with that guy in my life again.

It's surprising how the same guy you dine with, drink with, party with, even travel to their hometown and sleep for days, has always been in competition with you without your knowledge. Such a person can kill out of jealousy.

We have to be careful of the kind of people we keep as friends. The funny thing is that I'm not even the best student while in school, why competing with me instead of the best students? Abi first class no dey sweet you Some people are perhaps and furthermore 😂🤣, even notwithstanding. 🤣😂😂

Una good morning o jare

I used my girl's phone to call a friend several years back, after the call my friend called the girl back and asked to meet up. I asked the girl to play along, lo and behold my friend did show up to meet up with my girl, since then I just cut the bro off as a dangerous friend. Nowadays, I have plenty acquaintances but almost zero friends, I don't blame people for being themselves though, Nigeria is an hustler country and its made most of us overambitious and prone to betrayal. We approach everything with that scarcity mentality, from airplane boarding queues to hoarding of resources or pulling other people down.

You Dine, Drink And Party Together But You Didn’t Talk About The Smashing Kpekus Part, Until You Do So I Have Nothing To Say.

Kazim88:



OP you seem like a very bad person or female.

You have higher position than him that refer you. It is human he will not feel elated. They are many ways to clear the issue like making feel appreciated not envious.
And worse case scenario, cut the relationship not because he is a bad person, but such is life.

And if ever, you are to post about him, remember him for the good he did not for the bad he did not do.

workchopNG

Hmmm...

You see, the thing is natural to the flesh, and it takes God's grace to overcome. I won't recommend you get troubled until you experience such as one who helped the other.

Working remotely, I experienced it first hand when one of the guys I shortlisted for the company began to gain more recognition and influence than me who connected him.

Thanks to God I dealt with the bitter/jealous feelings that wanted to eat me up, and
things continued well. But later the company had a compulsory night shift requirement which I couldn't bear. So I was thrown out through the window. The guy remained and I refused to be bothered by God's grace.

But leaving really opened much better doors and experiences...

Now like you OP, I was not very impressed with the attitude of this said guy during the period. He should know someone in my shoes must be fighting jealousy, envy and all, but his attitudes/words would still tempt you to be jealous. Well, still had to beat all that, thank God.

A Nigerian has stolen a huge sum from the company now and I think it meant trouble. Now it's difficult for me to recommend any better place I am to him—not for the fear of achieving more, but trying to make me feel jealous in the process. And especially if he doesn't ask for help...

Endurance is good, but if it's unnecessary then it might be foolishness... Now I could only help by referring him to a place I'm not working.

So we need to check ourselves first...

God bless.

Sonnobax15:

My dear nigha of back then...

My roomie,way back in poly....

A promiscuous nigha

I can't forget back in 2013 when this nigha came home around 11p.m with 8 bannies..... Claiming they attended a birthday party and since it was already late,so he decided to offer them accomodation till the following morning....

Funniest thing was that that was the first time I prepared banga soup......Na so these bannies chop my banga soup finish,come still push me comot from my bed that night......

Las las,my Nigha ended up doing shiit that night . While I slept-on foolishly

In the morning,I called my friend when the bannies have left....I warned him never to repeat the rubbish he did the previous night. ..

U dey whine? 8 bannies and you couldn't get one to yourself.. Omo e hard to believe

IconicR:
I don't believe in friendship or trust people anymore. I use to be so carefree and very generous till I learnt my lessons the very hard way.
My mom is my best friend and gist partner, any other friend is an acquaintance and they know it.

Bro don't lose hope, there are still good people. Let me give you a small gist, during NYSC a friend helped me secure a job paying 150K at that time, and he who recommended me was collecting 80K, because he understood the internal workings, he gave me a clue on how to get ahead. During NYSC I already had a job waiting.

Mind you I was his direct deputy in office, relating our designs into real products on the Factory floor (plenty work then), and there was no bad blood whatsoever, as I speak to you this guy is in Dubai doing well, earning cool money because of the sector we're engaged in, married and has a child. I'm still single at the moment, what I'm I driving at? Be good to people, those who you thought you helped and were ahead were living the life God has for them, when he visits you in truth, you'll be humbled.

Be a true person and learn how to attract and maintain true relationships, relationship is always mutually beneficial, avoided one sided nonsense. And don't be that kind of person too.

I am currently going through the same thing right now. Trust nobody

pongwa:
I think you are the bad friend. He referring you for the job you are enjoying higher pay means he is a true friend. If he doesn't want the best for you he wouldn't do that. You have wronged a good person, you better restitute or èlse karma is gonna knock at your door soon

Very right. OP why don't you quit the job as well as you're no longer in friendship with him? Because he gave you that opportunity to earn a living. Na pride and ego, stupidity and foolishness, ungratefulness and insecurity is just your problem. Better go and ask for forgiveness

olamilarks:
I used my girl's phone to call a friend several years back, after the call my friend called the girl back and asked to meet up. I asked the girl to play along, lo and behold my friend did show up to meet up with my girl, since then I just cut the bro off as a dangerous friend. Nowadays, I have plenty acquaintances but almost zero friends, I don't blame people for being themselves though, Nigeria is an hustler country and its made most of us overambitious and prone to betrayal. We approach everything with that scarcity mentality, from airplane boarding queues to hoarding of resources or pulling other people down.

Sorry for you. Don't try such next time with a woman. You fit catch babe because you be fine guy, another guy wey no fine reach you go use cash collect that same babe from you. No go there next time o, na woman you dey deal with. Their brain be like preek, no choice

Some friends are really dangerous, that was how I accommodated one during his masters at EKSU just because I felt it won't be easy for him coming from the next town for his classes but this guy ended up taking my singlet to an alfa house in far ibadan, even after lying to me that he was going to osogbo to help someone to get fingerlings.

He helped you, we need to hear his own part too.

I don't believe in best friend again oooThe. person I call my best friend went to ask my female friend out there is no crime in that but he went to tag me a bad guy that I scatter all d relationship he enter na so the lady told him u friend I know is not like that na so the lady block him and forward the whatsapp conversation to me. As a good friend I challenge him and he said he can explain na so I block him and stay off him since 2015 or my so call Padi way go take my key and steal my pocket money for my hostel after so investigation he return the money but he said no be him steal am.

I used to have that kind of a friend then back in school very toxic guy, thank God I finally cut him off.