Fellas, please am a little bit worried
here and i need ur urgent advice
ok. Ive been dating my boyfriend for
the past three and half years and
we love each other dearly. We've
even started making plans to take the
relationship to the next level by tying
the knots but the problem now is that
we're not of the same tribe because he
is yoruba and am ibo and our parents
dont support our plans from both sides.
We've tried our bests to convince them
that what matters is that we love each other
and not let the issue of tribe ruine our
happiness but it seems that fate is about to
play a cruel game on us. I dont
know what to do again since none of us is
ready to quit d relationship. So NLanders
what do u suggest we do cos we're running
out of patience. Your sincere and mature
advice will be appreciated.

[flash=400,325]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgEixhE3Oms&ob=av2e[/flash]

Ladies need to be less emotional and also ready to move on.This African mentality of sticking to one man is why they are always the ones issues like this affect more.My advice is for you to leave the guy.He is not the only guy in the world.You can be dating him without marriage if you so much love him.The guy will definitely move on and marry a choice wife while still dating you.Why can't you do the same?

Two realistic options:
Darn both Parents and go ahead with the marriage.

Listen to the old folks and seperate peacefully.

I would not encourage anyone to dabble into marriage with none of the parents in support.The cons outweigh whatever pro is there.

You'd surely get another guy,same with the dude.

@The poster: You are really wasting your time. Nairaland will not solve your problem. It's a pity as it's always one Igbo girl today and another Igbo tomorrow. The problem with Igbo girls like you is that you do not mix up much with your Igbo group whereever you are. If you do, there is no reason whatsoever you will not be attracted to Igbo groom.
My advice to you here is, if you reside in Ibadan for an example, there are so many Igbo groups and associations out there that you can join. It is like that all over the world. There so many Igbo dance groups, Igbo prayer groups, Igbo corpers, Igbo students and clan associations. There is no reason whatsoever that an estimated 40 million Ndigbo in Nigeria, none of them could be attracted to you. Search yourself girl.

@ Andre Uwe, i totally understand where ure saying but its so difficult since this is an issue that concerns the heart, besides we've gone way too far. I know lots of Ibo guys but i think i found my true happiness where my B/f is, he's so special and have all the qualities i need in a man besides he loves me more which he has proved beyond any reasonable doubt more than other Ibo guys ive dated in the past. I fall in love with him for who he is and nott because of his tribe or anything else. Please help a sister in need.

Ladies need to be less emotional and also
ready to move on.This African mentality of
sticking to one man is why they are always
the ones issues like this affect more.My
advice is for you to leave the guy.He is not
the only guy in the world.You can be dating
him without marriage if you so much love
him.The guy will definitely move on and
marry a choice wife while still dating
you.Why can't you do the same? What ure suggesting is very difficult, not that am being too emotional. Its just we've built our dreams around each other and the love is sooooooo strong. I once suggested the idea of parting wayys but he'll never hear of it. As a matter of fact, he's seeing his parents as an obstacles to his happiness cos since we belong to same church and are devoted Anglicans, tribe shudnt be an issue

Nothing from the external threatens the inner peace which abides via grace, Choose your character and play for gold. After all, "all the world is but a stage". PLayer, play strong, and there is always a shoulder here for whatever u want is alright with me.

@Christygenius, this guy is deceiving you. Let him go and marry a Yoruba chick and you marry an Igbo dude. We hardly see Yoruba girls begging for an Igboman's love. What a shame.
 Let him go for good as surely an Igboman will at some point come for you. Get yourself more involved in Igbo activities and Igbo people.

Andre Uweh:

@Christygenius, this guy is deceiving you. Let him go and marry a Yoruba chick and you marry an Igbo dude. We hardly see Yoruba girls begging for an Igboman's love. What a shame.
 Let him go for good as surely an Igboman will at some point come for you. Get yourself more involved in Igbo activities and Igbo people.

Na wa oooo

even in marriage, tribalism take part

@Christygenius

Do not let tribalism of both parents get between you and your happiness. Never allow such to happen

At the end of the day, you would be the person living with the man and not his or your parent but you and you alone.

This is the best Advice you would get from an anonymous website

alj_harem:

Na wa oooo

even in marriage, tribalism take part

Uche, it is not just about tribalism but caution. Uche, it is just like you coming here to claim you fell in love with a sickler. Moreover, am ashamed at the rate Igbo girls come here to tell us they fell in love with one Yoruba this or that. In every community in Nigeria, there are Ndigbo and there should be no problem marrying within those confines.
It is not proper for a woman to freely give herself to a man whom she is not sure if they will be compatible. This is not the first time they have come here to cry about this issue.
Igbo ladies, look before you leap.

Andre Uweh:

@Christygenius, this guy is deceiving you. Let him go and marry a Yoruba chick and you marry an Igbo dude. We hardly see Yoruba girls begging for an Igboman's love. What a shame.
 Let him go for good as surely an Igboman will at some point come for you. Get yourself more involved in Igbo activities and Igbo people.

Its just something about Yoruba men that makes women go crazy. Dont worry, I'm yet to understand it too.

Yoruba women usually go for edo men or middlebelt men. It's all about cultural similarities.

It's a matter of heart.

Lke Ify said, if both parents are not into it, she needs to think against. You need both parents to help advice and settle problems in the marriage.

Goodluck.


As a Yoruba woman, I feel the parents sha. I've told my sons and daughters to not even look beyond the SW, MB and SS. It's a personal preference.

Uche, it is just like you coming here to claim you fell in love with a sickler.

i dont understand that line.

is that also a taboo like it is a taboo to fall in love with an osu in igboland?

exotik:

i dont understand that line.

is that also a taboo like it is a taboo to fall in love with an osu in igboland?

It is not a taboo. If your genotype is A.S and you want to marry a girl with same genotype as you, will you not thread with caution?.
Marriage should be between people who share same cultural outlook. The advice I have given the poster here is the same advice I gave a niece of mine last year when she came to tell me about one certain Taju from Kwara who was asking her hand in marriage. I showed disaproval even before she finished her story. Now she is happily married and locally. To God be the glory.

Ileke-IdI:

Its just something about Yoruba men that makes women go crazy. Dont worry, I'm yet to understand it too.

Yoruba women usually go for edo men or middlebelt men. It's all about cultural similarities.

It's a matter of heart.

Lke Ify said, if both parents are not into it, she needs to think against. You need both parents to help advice and settle problems in the marriage.

Goodluck.


As a Yoruba woman, I feel the parents sha. I've told my sons and daughters to not even look beyond the SW, MB and[b] SS[/b]. It's a personal preference.

Na wao. An igbo man from the SS will marry her or him,  lol
No shaking. Dem dey everywhere for all region.

It is not a taboo. If your genotype is A.S and you want to marry a girl with same genotype as you, will you not thread with caution?.

ok, now i understand.

but i am wondering why u had to use sickle cell as an example because last i checked, sickle cell is not limited to a tribe in nigeria and this is a "tribal" issue.

so now what if the guy she is talking about is yoruba and also has sickle cell? then im sure u will go an cage her in one of those thick bushes in igboland till she finds a local, haha

exotik:

ok, now i understand.

but i am wondering why u had to use sickle cell as an example because last i checked, sickle cell was not limited to a tribe in nigeria and this is a "tribal" issue.

so now what if the guy she is talking about is yoruba and also has sickle cell? then im sure u will go an cage her in one of those thick bushes in igboland till she finds a local, haha

No my niece is happily married within our locality. But am happy she took my advice and got rid of Taju. Their trado was awesome. I even posted a pic of the trado sometime ago here in nairaland.

and what if she finds an igboman and they are madly in-love, but the igboman will turn out to be an osu.  then what will u do? tell her not to marry?

exotik:

and what if she finds a local and they are madly in-love, but the local will turn out to be an osu. then what will u do? tell her not to marry?

Don't you get it, she is now happily married. There is no ifs and buts.

Relax101:

Na wao. An igbo man from the SS will marry her or him,  lol
No shaking. Dem dey everywhere for all region.  

Who is not everywhere in Nigeria, to be exact? Shebi Yorubas plenty for SE and the North too?
And my post was not specified to Igbo men  

christygenius:

What  ure suggesting  is   very difficult,  not  that  am being too emotional.  Its   just  we've  built  our   dreams around each  other  and the love is sooooooo strong.  I once suggested the idea  of parting wayys  but he'll never hear  of it. As a matter of fact, he's seeing his parents as an obstacles to his happiness cos since we belong to same church  and are devoted Anglicans, tribe shudnt be an issue

Move on. Its all for the better.
Build your dreams around your locals.
Defying both side of the parents is really not a good thing.
Based on statistics, Yoruba men usually ends up going back to Yorubaland for second wife.

Andre Uweh:

Don't you get it, she is now happily married. There is no ifs and buts.

lol, i wasnt talking about your niece,  who cares about your fictitious life. i was talking about the OP.

what if the man christygenious is talking about is yoruba and has sickle cell, then you convince her not to marry to a yoruba sickler and she took your advice and went to one of the several thick bushes in igboland to find a suitor. and after some years she now finds an igboman she loves and he is also madly in love with her and ready to marry her, but the igboman happens to be an igbo osu? then what would u do? tell her not to marry for the second time?

Only a very stvpid african will listen to her/his parent. OP dont listen to your parent, their low IQ wont let them think behind tribes. My advice for you is to should kill them and he should kill his. You guys will be doing Africa a great favor by doing this.

exotik:

lol, i wasnt talking about your niece,  who cares about your fictitious life. i was talking about the OP.

what if the man christygenious is talking about is yoruba and has sickle cell, then you convince her not to marry to a yoruba sickler and she took your advice and went to one of the several thick bushes in igboland to find a suitor. and after some years she now finds an igboman she loves and he is also madly in love with her and ready to marry her, but the igboman happens to be an igbo osu? then what would u do? tell her not to marry for the second time?

In the first  place you are not Igbo and do not understand how marriage works in Igboland. Marriage in Igbo culture involves relatives and kindreds. There is introductions in the roadmap to marriage. Ndigbo say ihe ihuma uzo ama, ihe ikutu aka na uzo etc. Before this is concluded, one would have known if there is compactibility between the bride and the groom. It is not just about Osu this or that, but to find out if this person is related to you or not and there are some kindreds that are blood relatives and do not marry each other. It is very important to learn about Igbo marriage.

decode55:

abegi! leave the dirty scum joor, follow your parents' advice o, d way some of you behave annoys me @ times. now all these yoruba go.ats will start feeling as if they're important, mtcheeeeeeeew

Word.

@rgp922, listen to yourself. well, i don't blame you sha. your parents escaped imbecili.ty i guess, so that's why talk like an imbe.cile too. , like father like son

Why wuld an igbo gal want to marry a yoruba guy sef?
A guy dat wil soon take another wife.
Tufiakwa!

Why allow your parents' wishes to usurp your choice of the person with whom you choose to spend the rest of your life? At the end of the day, after the wedding bells have stopped ringing, you would have to live with that person presumably for the rest of your life. In light of the foregoing, it would behoove you  to choose your life partner and to not allow your parents to make that decision for you. My two cents.

pls u av 2 think very well cos if u go ahead with d relationship and both parent say no believe me or not u will not av a happy home because there will be preasure frm both sides. But if both of u know dat u can do without ur parents well u can go ahead if no pls pls try as much as possible 2 quit d relatnship now b4 2 of u get in2 a journey dat will lead 2 everlasting sorrow 10nks.

onye_ngbu*:

Why wuld an igbo gal want to marry a yoruba guy sef?
A guy dat wil soon take another wife.
Tufiakwa!

Some how I feel the dowry and bride price paid on some Igbo girls mothers is a waeste. Some times I feel the earth should open up and swallow them.

Bad advisers full here. Especially Andrew uweh. You think husband is like opa, which you can easily pick one and eat. The rate at which Igbo girls go for Yoruba guys is not far fetched. They are more handsome and caring. I lived in enugu for over a year , i know better.