pocohantas:


I think some of them just love having back and forth with ladies. They would create an agenda and want you to spend time arguing with them. I refuse biko.

Just like someone said he's holding Mohbad 's wife accountable by spitting rubbish and wants me to argue.

I don't know how to argue how to hold a woman who had a child for her husband accountable.

He was already accusing her of opening her legs for a crack head as if he knows the whole truth of the matter.

Father4all:
I still stand by my word. You people talk as if it's not this country that all of us are. It amaze me how people became suddenly rich on Internet but in reality they are far below average earners

LOL. Okay oh.

tosinhtml:


It can never work in reality, but it is good people enforce this movement. People usually look down on their partner's task & belittle it, therefore It is important each person has a taste of their own medicine. I was trying to explain to a lady sometime ago that your 9-5 job or business has a way of entirely affecting your emotions that it begins to affect your home, she asked if I am the only one with 9-5, why is my own different. Now she reached out to me regarding her job, It has been toxic as hell. Now that she is now experiencing it, she can testify.

In the same vein, anybody that says staying with kids is not a hard job, should be left to take care of kids for a week.

Make dem use their own eyes see am, as e be!

You are absolutely right. In fact, I have seen movie makers produce solid movies with your idea. In one of these movies, the husband was advised to start a full scale domestic duty and keep it on for a week. He nearly died after 12 hours. Nobody taught him to appreciate his wife after that experience.

Harddiskng:


@Acidosis, this is from a lady. Now who has lost touch with reality between both of is?

The OP is asking for “sex” from his “wife”. He is not asking for heaven and earth.

Lol, Pocohantas is right na..

No sane woman will willingly agree to a 50-50 formula unless you are willing to go through 9 months of pregnancy and another 12 months of exclusive breastfeeding (for at least one or two of your kids).

True, some women go through these phases, do all the cleaning and cooking and still contribute even more than 90% towards the family's expense. But I'm sure you won't wish such on your sister or any of your daughters.

doggedfighter:


Just like someone said he's holding Mohbad 's wife accountable by spitting rubbish and wants me to argue.

I don't know how to argue how to hold a woman who had a child for her husband accountable.

He was already accusing her of opening her legs for a crack head as if he knows the whole truth of the matter.

Like that takes away the fact that a human is dead leaving a child fatherless at 5mths. Because e wan bash woman, e sha no sense say im fellow man die. Mumu man.

Acidosis:



Lol, Pocohantas is right na..

No sane woman will willingly agree to a 50-50 formula unless you are willing to go through 9 months of pregnancy and another 12 months of exclusive breastfeeding (for at least one or two of your kids).

True, some women go through these phases, do all the cleaning and cooking and still contribute even more than 90% towards the family's expense. But I'm sure you won't wish such on your sister or any of your daughters.

Godforbid bad thing. Make I get receding hairline.
Your brothers would give 100k to the wife running the home, but they have extra for side chick. Wicked people.

pocohantas:


Godforbid bad thing. Make I get receding hairline.
Your brothers would give 100k to the wife running the home, but they have extra for side chick. Wicked people.

You go use wig cover am

Don't mind them. All they want to give to a housewife is money for food with grumble oo. Grumbling no dey ever enter side chick matter sha.

I'm not sure I will ever advise any woman again to choose this housewife thing. Many people are unreasonable.

Acidosis:


You go use wig cover am

Don't mind them. All they want to give to a housewife is money for food with grumble oo. Grumbling no dey ever enter side chick matter sha.

I'm not sure I will ever advise any woman again to choose this housewife thing. Many people are unreasonable.

I no get wig again o and wig done cost na. Abi you want make I wear that Eucharia type?

No lies. Housewives are going through a lot in this Nigeria. Once they give her money for carton of indomie, that is all.

Acidosis:


You are absolutely right. In fact, I have seen movie makers produce solid movies with your idea. In one of these movies, the husband was advised to start a full scale domestic duty and keep it on for a week. He nearly died after 12 hours. Nobody taught him to appreciate his wife after that experience.

Yes, another confusing issue for Nigerian couples who live or relocated in the West, without some form of support or actual 50/50 (or 30/70 more realistically), most men cannot cope with the rising cost of living. So there is usually a big disparity with how people run homes in Nigeria vs outside Nigeria. In the West, every family member must know how to do every thing, cook, clean, wash & change diapers. Both have to earn to stay above water. A lot of women who relocate are also complaining because this is a big mental shift, so depending on where you're located too.

pocohantas:


I no get wig again o and wig done cost na. Abi you want make I wear that Eucharia type?

No lies. Housewives are going through a lot in this Nigeria. Once they give her money for carton of indomie, that is all.

Aha I feel you! I no too like wig sef so I'm sure I'll love your new style anyway...

Eucharia type ke? Abeg oo

tosinhtml:


Yes, another confusing issue for Nigerian couples who live or relocated in the West, without some form of support or actual 50/50 (or 30/70 more realistically), most men cannot cope with the rising cost of living. So there is usually a big disparity with how people run homes in Nigeria vs outside Nigeria. In the West, every family member must know how to do every thing, cook, clean, wash & change diapers. Both have to earn to stay above water. A lot of women who relocate are also complaining because this is a big mental shift, so depending on where you're located too.

Absolutely!!!

Kobojunkie:
If the woman has high libido, would you also call for the man to be fixed/repaired/drugged in order to keep her satisfied? Would you as a human being be willing to endure drug side effects and possibly bodily and mental stress or that kind in order to satisfy the libido of the woman you love?

You can buy a stick and stocked in the pushy. case closed- Libido

optionalY09:
■ You can buy a stick and stocked in the pushy. case closed- Libido

I blame myself for bothering to engage your kind in what I thought would be a reasonable conversation.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Men and women sex drive are not the same.
You can't fault her, she might not have any single sex drive left in her after having kids.

These are some of the reasons why our ancestors married a much younger wife later in life. Even in the bible and Quran, the historic men that were discussed took a much younger wife later in their lives.
Even if you guys talk it out she will still lose interest after some time.
I don't think divorce is right, marrying a younger lady legally might just solve all the issues

Ajibade123:
■ Men and women sex drive are not the same.
You can't fault her, she might not have any single sex drive left in her after having kids.
These are some of the reasons why our ancestors married a much younger wife later in life. Even in the bible and Quran, the historic men that were discussed took a much younger wife later in their lives.
Even if you guys talk it out she will still lose interest after some time.
I don't think divorce is right, marrying a younger lady legally might just solve all the issues

Divorce is not right but marrying a woman solely for the purpose of shining your knobs — her existence basically exists then around making sure you are sexually satisfied — is right? Kai!

Ahmed0336:

Since your problem is Sex and your wife cannot meet up your demands I don't think the issue of divorce should be brought up.
Remember, there are children in the picture.
My take, since your dad prefer divorce to cheating, I'd advise you take a second wife and let the sleeping dog l..

May God bless your generation oo

pocohantas:


No sane woman should do 50-50 finance with a Nigerian man in Nigeria. Not when she would have the kids and be left to tend to the home and submit.

What changes outside Nigeria though?

JayCynic:
■ What changes outside Nigeria though?

Societal pressure on women to conform to that which isn't commonsensical, a realization of their potential, capabilities, and status as human beings.

Kobojunkie:
Societal pressure on women to conform to that which isn't commonsensical, a realization of their potential, capabilities, and status as human beings.

Research studies have shown that in more egalitarian countries like Sweden, Norway, Finland, Canada, with unionized economic systems and with gender quota legislations etc when women are given the power of choice, they ironically tend to take on more traditional roles and infact the gender gap in STEM fields broaden. I dunno how long you've lived outside Nigeria, but if you have lived in any of these countries, you'd find that women still voluntarily take on these roles.

JayCynic:
■ Research studies have shown that in more egalitarian countries like Sweden, Norway, Finland, Canada, with unionized economic systems and with gender quota legislations etc when women are given the power of choice, they ironically tend to take on more traditional roles and infact the gender gap in STEM fields broaden. I dunno how long you've lived outside Nigeria, but if you have lived in any of these countries, you'd find that women still voluntarily take on these roles.

Could you please cite at least one such research so I at least get a good idea of where you are coming from?

JayCynic:


What changes outside Nigeria though?

The answer is cost of living, an average monthly rent for a family of 3 cost $2000 in the USA, £1,200 in the UK & CAD$2529 in Canada. You can't pay that rent alone except your spouse is also working.

Kobojunkie:
She needs to wake the fk up to the charade that has been her marriage so she can fight for more than that though.
2. No, his dad is right. Adultery is meant to be a deal breaker in marriage. That Nigerian women condone it does not mean they do not do so out of ignorance.

Mmmh

I'm a woman and currently in your wife's situation, you made sex boring for her, don't blame her rather blame your self, she needs more affection than sex, pay attention to her mind not her body she is Good woman like me, give her a break she will come around women tend to get tired of sex especially when is frequently demanded, improve in your romantic lifestyle, like I Said I'm currently having same issue more affection towards her will solve the problem not by divorcing her. [color=#006600][/color] ote author=ADURA123 post=125671601]Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
[/quote]

[Exactly my advice to him I'm a woman and understands his wife very well he made sex boring to her. quote author=Administration1 post=125675819]From what you wrote up there, I can deduce that you're a boring man. You think it's all about food, clean and money, ogbeni, when last did you take your wife out alone? Have you asked her, if she drinks Smirnoff ice or something, if you don't do alcohol, have you considered that she might be the type that drinks, but she is respecting you since you don't .

Oga, go and and spice to your marriage and watch it bounce back to life. [/quote]

I'm a woman and currently in your wife's situation, you made sex boring for her, don't blame her rather blame your self, she needs more affection than sex, pay attention to her mind not her body she is Good woman like me, give her a break she will come around women tend to get tired of sex especially when is frequently demanded, improve in your romantic lifestyle, like I Said I'm currently having same issue more affection towards her will solve the problem not by divorcing her.

ealtutu:
I'm a woman and currently in your wife's situation, you made sex boring for her, don't blame her rather blame your self, she needs more affection than sex, pay attention to her mind not her body she is Good woman like me, give her a break she will come around women tend to get tired of sex especially when is frequently demanded, improve in your romantic lifestyle, like I Said I'm currently having same issue more affection towards her will solve the problem not by divorcing her.

Are you insinuating that the woman possibly feels objectified in her marriage by her own husband?

Kobojunkie:
Divorce is not right but marrying a woman solely for the purpose of shining your knobs — her existence basically exists then around making sure you are sexually satisfied — is right? Kai!

You are talking as if sex is not one of the major reason people marry
When he is searching for a second wife he won't be foolish just to look for a woman that's good sexually. It will be a woman he loves obviously

Ajibade123:
■ You are talking as if sex is not one of the major reason people marry.
■ When he is searching for a second wife he won't be foolish just to look for a woman that's good sexually. It will be a woman he loves obviously

Let me see how honest you can be with yourself... how many of the men who have side chicks out there would "love" the same side-chick if she were to remove sex from the equation? How many men who are married today would "love" their wives the same if they were to remove sex from the equation?

You must be kidding! OP admits that sex is his major reason, yet you conveniently turn a blind eye to that in order to assert your own private delusions instead, why?

Kobojunkie:
Let me see how honest you can be with yourself... how many of the men who have side chicks out there would "love" the same side-chick if she were to remove sex from the equation? How many men who are married today would "love" their wives the same if they were to remove sex from the equation?

You must be kidding! OP admits that sex is his major reason, yet you conveniently turn a blind eye to that in order to assert your own private delusions instead, why?

I see many people not really looking at the substance of the issue Op raised, This our generation needs to up our game, the way we reason sometimes make people fail exams easy....your point is one of the reasonable comments i have read on this topic.

Kobojunkie:
From Satan? Zi when God Himself said He divorced Israel, God was channeling Satan?

Whatever it is you are close to there is definitely far from God. Save yourself from that foolishness before it is to late.

God created marriage.

And He Hates divorce.

God divorcing Israel is a proverb Not literal.

You are only allowed to divorce your spouse due to unfaithfulness — which is not the case here.

By the way, I am talking about the God of the Bible — no other god.

ADURA123:


If she will change I am ready to take her back in my heart the way it use to be, but right now I don't even feel like I am living with someone at home, I just fell I am accommodating her pending when the all my plans is out in public..but she has a up till next month to prove she can stay.
How can you not meet your wife 4-5 times a week and someone is telling me to be calm, all I do now is eat, play with my phone and sleep...I stay in Gwarinpa I know where to go and have girls for free, even kubwa is not far from me, I dey AbJ for almost 20yrs now so I am not new here...but thanks alot

Kuku kill her. No wonder she says you want use sex to kill her. Mscheeeew

Gohs:
■ God created marriage. And He Hates divorce.
■ God divorcing Israel is a proverb Not literal.
■ You are only allowed to divorce your spouse due to unfaithfulness — which is not the case here. By the way, I am talking about the God of the Bible — no other god.

1. God created marriage in Genesis 2 vs 15-16 and God cursed marriage and childbearing in Genesis 3 vs 16. He washed His hands of the marriage of men declaring it to be of the world of men. Jesus Christ reaffirmed this very declaration in Luke 20 vs 34 - 36

2. God never said it was not literal since God actually said that is what He would eventually do even in His Law of Moses - Deuteronomy 28 vs 15 - 57 and Deuteronomy 30 vs 1 - 6. God cursed and scattered Israel over 1900 years ago as He said He would, and put a seal on His Old Law as He said He would.

3. Wrong! God allows divorce. Remarriage is what He restricts those who belong to Him, and this is after a divorce.