optionalY09:
■ he’s her husband it part of love and care to do that. You’re not romantic abeg pack well

If the woman has high libido, would you also call for the man to be fixed/repaired/drugged in order to keep her satisfied? Would you as a human being be willing to endure drug side effects and possibly bodily and mental stress or that kind in order to satisfy the libido of the woman you love?

KingLennon:

Domestic work is now work load? I wonder what our mothers will have said back then in the 80's. Work loadings

If domestic work is not work load, then what is workload? Signing papers in an air-conditioned room? or trading bitcoin online?

If our mothers had a choice, they wouldn't have done what they did. The challenge they had was access (limited innovation) and financial limitation. There is no basis for comparison with a man that lives in the 21st century and earns a decent pay.

The essence of that post is that your money is meant to make life easier for you and ease the burden and amount of work in your home. You certainly cannot complicate your wife's life because our mothers pounded yam mechanically. For a family with 2 children and a spouse that is left alone to do everything, sex is definitely a chore!

zedegit:



What are you even saying? What of people that earn #50 000 monthly and still enjoy their marriage?

I don't think upkeep money is the problem since the wife don't contribute financially.

Is it because he stated his earning?

A man who earns 50k will have to ease the burden and work in his home by getting his hands busy. The emphasis is not solely about the money but the need to ease the burden in your [own] house. For a man that earns 700k in a country like Nigeria, I assumed he probably doesn't have the time to clean/wash, reason I expect him to spend more in running a home with 2 kids.

I will NEVER mention my earning online but 700k isn't really much of a big deal. I clean (an addiction), wash, and do basic stuff in my home. To add to that, we have someone who comes in for deep cleaning every month and I don't have two kids. I hope this picture will shape your understanding.

Jman06:
Stop typing rubbish just to be seen as woke and have your post liked by the female gender.
A wife who contributes nothing to the finances of her supposed home should at least compensate by cleaning up the house and cooking for her family. 100k is some people's two months salary! There are women who contribute equal amount of money to their families' finances, yet still cook, clean and fvck their husbands without complaints, so stop making senseless excuses for op's wife!

If the female gender likes and appreciates my posts, then that means I am posting things that matter to them. Why are you resisting happiness? You don't want to keep your wife happy and sane?

I am not making excuses for his wife. I have only given him tips for his own sanity. In life, you have to always make choices. Some will help you, others *may* destroy you.

As someone who is married for 13 years now, i'll advice you not to.. believe me, the qualities your wife possesses are rare, you will not find them elsewhere rather you will loose a good woman over trivialities.. if sex were the problem, look elsewhere for sex, dont keep any relationship, but PLS DONT DIVORCE HER!!!

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Love does not keep marriage together, don't get married because of love and prayer does not cancel ignorance, I recommend you read proverb 24vs 3

Kobojunkie:
Adultery is a solution to solving a marriage problem? Unbelievable! You don't see that what OP wants to do is in fact more humane than your suggestion that he cheat on his wife while remaining married to her?

2. I didn't base it at all on love. I asked you whether if your wife turned to having a side-dick in order to get fulfillment for one deficiency or another she perceives in your person, you would be OK with that too. That is after all the reason why you are prescribing adultery as a solution in marriage for OP here. But see how twisted and convoluted you got without actually responding directly to what I asked.

In any decision in life, you scale the weight of damages that would be incurred if a particular step is taking. I weighted the options, and I see that divorcing a good woman because of her inability to match his sexual demand is far more damaging, hence my advise to him. I did not specifically asked him to take it, it was just a suggestion since sex is the only reason he wanted to divorce her. As cheap as sex is these days, it doesn't worth being use to throw away his family if he truly love them. From my little experience, women hardly bothered on what you do outside as long as you are a caring and responsible husband and keep it within yourself. I will say it again, divorcing a good woman because of sex is not really a solution. A real man in Nigeria context take a second wife or have a fling outside to keep his family.


There is what is called "necessary evil" every wise person or country use it at a particular point to achieve their aims or objectives. Not that they are evils or bad, just that is compulsory to do that to lesson or avoid further demanges.

pasuma:
As someone who is married for 13 years now, i'll advice you not to.. believe me, the qualities your wife possesses are rare, you will not find them elsewhere rather you will loose a good woman over trivialities.. if sex were the problem, look elsewhere for sex, dont keep any relationship, but PLS DONT DIVORCE HER!!!

Exactly sir, good women that everyone is praying for, this one want to divorce her because of her inability to match his sexual demand. If you check very, he might be the type that don't help his wife at home. Child birth and taking care of children are not child play, it tells alot on their body and psychological wellbeing.

yemmie:
At OP
1. Employ investigator to monitor your wife for 6 months... she may not cheat physically but some women have emotional affairs and the feeling for their husband touch /sex with their husband dies ..
2. Evaluate if she is depressed, some woman become depressed once they can't make their own money ... most woman want to be in charge of their lifes .. women with good upbringing and values still place marital bliss / her home above individual wants ...

3. Tame your sex drive...most married woman use sex to manipulate and suppress their husband, once they know firmly their husband is very disciplined with regards to committing adultery

4. Do you have strong circle of trusted friends.. you chill out with to map out Business deals / investment and career progression e.t.c .. Dude invest more of your energy and time in those venture .... enjoy life but be weary of women of ease virtue

Closing.. Your father gave you a solid advice (stick with it)... don't cheat on your wife .. it's for your own Good..Some people glory and fulfilment of destiny are tied to been faithful in marriage, once you start sleeping around ...watch that space.

P.s making 700k Net should huge you to make more .. 14 years ago that same Nigeria (when still living there), we were making #950k Net working in Oil & gas IOC, without other benefits oo .. so guy focus !


Ire O

Eshe gan sir....

Acidosis:


If the female gender likes and appreciates my posts, then that means I am posting things that matter to them. Why are you resisting happiness? You don't want to keep your wife happy and sane?

I am not making excuses for his wife. I have only given him tips for his own sanity. In life, you have to always make choices. Some will help you, others *may* destroy you.

You're posting things that appeal to their selfish nature while ignoring the well-being of the man. Why do some of you have the mindset that the needs of women matter more than those of men? Yet, you're still the type that clamor for gender equality!

Now FYI, even if op hands over his paycheck to that wife of his, it won't stop her from being lazy and denying him sex! So, don't make it seem like her attitude has anything to do with the level of help or amount of money she's getting from op.

Mombebe:







No he should be giving her 600k plus the little busy she's doing just to be a good husband.
May I ask you,are you married?
How much do you make monthly not to talk about the monthly upkeep you give your wife?
If that 100k is not enough,can you bring your mother to be doing all that his wife does so that she will be paid 100k, while the man's wife works or engage in other businesses apart from home keeping.
If you're not a married man or you're an irresponsible man, keep off this thread.
Go and make 700k monthly and give your wife 600k upkeep just to be a good husband,onye ara.

You just don't get it. Its not about the woman but the family itself. The lifestyle of the family of a man earning 700k per month is different from that of the one earning 70k. You don’t expect a man earning 700k to live in a face me I face you, not even a self contain. You expect him to live at least in a 2 bedroom flat in a nice neighbourhood. Even an office that pays its workers 700k per month is expected to be located in an expensive neighbourhood. Same with the food the family eats, you don't expect such family to eat ogi and akara for breakfast, drink garri and grandnut for launch and go hungry at night. Same for the school the children attend.
I am not even talking about the upkeep of the wife yet (things like cream, hair, make up and cloths).

I am certain the husband spends more than 100k per month on himself alone. He will spend more than 100k on clothes, office launch, airtime and
data, drinks and flexing in a month.

100k upkeep for man earning 700k per month is an insult to his wife and family.

wirinet:


You just don't get it. Its not about the woman but the family itself. The lifestyle of the family of a man earning 700k per month is different from that of the one earning 70k. You don’t expect a man earning 700k to live in a face me I face you, not even a self contain. You expect him to live in a 2 bedroom in a nice neighbourhood. Even an office that pays its workers 700k per month is expected to be located in an expensive neighbourhood. Same with the food the family eats, you don't expect such family to eat ogi and akara for breakfast, drink garri and grandnut for launch and go hungry at night. Same for the school the children attend.
I am not even talking about the upkeep of the wife yet (things like cream, hair, make up and cloths).

I am certain the husband spends more than 100k per month on himself alone. He will spend more than 100k on clothes, office launch, airtime and
data, drinks and flexing in a month.

100k upkeep for man earning 700k per month is an insult to the woman and his family.

And how much is the partner and co-owner of the family bringing to the table

Op gives 100k just for food o. Children' school fees and house rent is not included in that 100k! Besides, it appears you didn't read where op said he has a project at hand that will increase the family's finances when it matures or you just want to type jargon in order to be seen as woke by appealing to the selfish women in this forum?

Op is doing more than enough for his family already with that 100k he gives for food. Some of you who are against the op are not even doing half of what he's doing for his family!

The worst thing that can ever happen to a man is to be free to be doing shino up and down. It wastes resources.

Have you called a meeting to settle the sex issue with your current wife's family? If yes with no concrete result, then you can divorce her.

But you will still need to remarry, cos doing shino up and down will waste your resources.


The thing I can advice is that, find a woman and explain what happened with your previous wife, so she will know you like sex very much.

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Where are the kids on your plan to find sex?

I'd rather cheat safely than damage my wife and kids life. That's me. It has nothing to do with my father.

If your father and mother are still together, why are you taking taking him so serious. He has no experience in this regard. In fact, no 2 marriages is the same.

Chart your own course and don't let your dick dictate to you.

bukatyne:


And has she complained?

Has she discussed with her husband and told him her problem which can range from exhaustion due to chores to his lack of skills/hygiene or a lower libido compared to his or the fact she needs to recharge for a day or two before another episode or his lack of romance or hormonal imbalance or any health issues?

If the frequency is the issue for instance, has she tried negotiating with him? Daddy wa, 4 to 5 times a week twice a day is too much for me. I can guarantee you 2 to 3 times a week once a day but when I am done with you, you will see stars?

If it is exhaustion, Daddy wa, running the home drains me. I would need a maid for XYZ so that I can have more energy for you?

Ditto lack of romance or hygiene or whatever.

What I see is a lot of emotional blackmail towards the OP for a legitimate need. Others would rather he cheats than honorably divorce his wife.

The wife is not a baby and should be emotionally intelligent enough to discuss with her husband and they both reach a compromise that suits their marriage.

According to the OP the wife stated he wants to kill her with sex, that should serve as a complaint so I believe a conversation would have led to that statement. We don't have the full details of conversation so we can't be specific.

The only thing glaring is that OP seems not to see anything wrong in his demand and sees everything wrong with his wife's complaint.

I honestly do not see it as blackmail, his Co-Men are telling him his demands need to be worked on.

It is him we can talk to, his wife is not here.

If madam is complaining about the frequency which is not out of place then he should also compromise, it's that simple

Jman06:
And how much is the partner and co-owner of the family bringing to the table

Op gives 100k just for food o. Children' school fees and house rent is not included in that 100k! Besides, it appears you didn't read where op said he has a project at hand that will increase the family's finances when it matures or you just want to type jargon in order to be seen as woke by appealing to the selfish women in this forum?

Op is doing more than enough for his family already with that 100k he gives for food. Some of you who are against the op are not even doing half of what he's doing for his family!

It seems you don't run a family and do not understand what it takes to run a family as a man.

As a family with 3 children (2 teenage boys and a girl) with an aged mother, and an income similar to the OP, N100k is not enough in month for food alone. Except of course you want to degrade your family lifestyle and status to that of a factory worker.

To me it is foolishness to degrade the living standard of your family in exchange for a long term project that might take more than 10 years to complete. By the time you finish your project your children would have become adults. You would have degraded their childhood by not giving them the best childhood you could afford. Now I am not saying projects house projects are not important, but it should not be at the expense of the comfort of your family, you must strike a balance.

I value my family far more than the OP. I spend a small fortune on my children's education, not to talk of their comfort. During the last break I spend more than 100k for the boys to learn coding, apart from school, they have home lesson teacher and music teacher.
Everyone has different priorities in life. To me my number one priority is my family.

Jman06:
You're posting things that appeal to their selfish nature while ignoring the well-being of the man. Why do some of you have the mindset that the needs of women matter more than those of men? Yet, you're still the type that clamor for gender equality!

Now FYI, even if op hands over his paycheck to that wife of his, it won't stop her from being lazy and denying him sex! So, don't make it seem like her attitude has anything to do with the level of help or amount of money she's getting from op.

I am not speaking for women/men; rather I am addressing op's matter based on the extent of evidence given.

Check my post on another thread here (https://www.nairaland.com/7837010/woman-husband-left-me-pregnant/7#125738852), where I faulted a woman's decision for denying her husband sex.

You see, unlike you, I address matters as they are presented. I don't go looking for threads to blame women (or men). I addressed contexts, not gender.

It's not hard to see the underlying issues especially one that the op already indicated in his post. He started by listing the amount of work his wife does and ended by mentioning her constant complaints of fatigue.

"First to report no mean say you be victim."

wirinet:


You just don't get it. Its not about the woman but the family itself. The lifestyle of the family of a man earning 700k per month is different from that of the one earning 70k. You don’t expect a man earning 700k to live in a face me I face you, not even a self contain. You expect him to live at least in a 2 bedroom flat in a nice neighbourhood. Even an office that pays its workers 700k per month is expected to be located in an expensive neighbourhood. Same with the food the family eats, you don't expect such family to eat ogi and akara for breakfast, drink garri and grandnut for launch and go hungry at night. Same for the school the children attend.
I am not even talking about the upkeep of the wife yet (things like cream, hair, make up and cloths).

I am certain the husband spends more than 100k per month on himself alone. He will spend more than 100k on clothes, office launch, airtime and
data, drinks and flexing in a month.

100k upkeep for man earning 700k per month is an insult to his wife and family.

Hurry up and go and sue him to court,did you see where he wrote that she doesn't work,all the bills in that house is dependant on that 700k,both family members,school fees,cars everything,did you ask his wife if she has ever requested money from her husband and he turns her down,I hope you know that the subject of his complains is sexual intimacy and not the upkeep money.
So with 700k as a married man, you don't even know how much they pay for rent,how many children he has and how many dependants he has plus all other bills, other projects and plans he might have,is it because he's a salary earner?so you think that money is enough to be flaunting a luxurious lifestyle...700k x12=8.4m in a year,did you ask how long he has been earning that amount of money.
A business man is Onitsha main market or alaba international market could be making more than that in a month,so if such person takes care of all the bills in the house and still gives his wife 100k monthly,then that's not enough..go make your own and spend it anyhow you want.
If it were the woman that's making such amount and taking care of everything in the house,that man could have been in hell right now.
You people are so unreasonable in some issues.
Do you know what it takes to make 100k monthly?

wirinet:


It seems you don't run a family and do not understand what it takes to run a family as a man.

As a family with 3 children (2 teenage boys and a girl) with an aged mother, and an income similar to the OP, N100k is not enough in month for food alone. Except of course you want to degrade your family lifestyle and status to that of a factory worker.

To me it is foolishness to degrade the living standard of your family in exchange for a long term project that might take more than 10 years to complete. By the time you finish your project your children would have become adults. You would have degraded their childhood by not giving them the best childhood you could afford. Now I am not saying projects house projects are not important, but it should not be at the expense of the comfort of your family, you must strike a balance.

I value my family far more than the OP. I spend a small fortune on my children's education, not to talk of their comfort. During the last break I spend more than 100k for the boys to learn coding, apart from school, they have home lesson teacher and music teacher.
Everyone has different priorities in life. To me my number one priority is my family.

That's the difference between rich men and average men. While rich men would manage at some point in order to attain higher financial status, average men would lavishly spend any money they come across and remain average!

Meanwhile, you don't even know how op's family standard of living is. That 100k when used properly is enough to afford good for the family in a month. Besides, it is possible that op buys some of the food items in bulk and give his wife the 100k just for food ingredients. It is even possible that the wife is still saving from that 100k for herself instead of working and making her fair share of contribution to the family's finances like her mates are doing out there.

One more thing. Your desire to be free now wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that all the sacrifice and investment is almost mature, would it? You know, the investment that she accepted a lower standard of living to support?

Acidosis:


Well, your father may be stup< !d. Mine's not. In my family, we don't use women the way your father sold your mother into slavery.

...because I advised a man to spend more than 20% of his income in running his home is why you want to kill your father?? Says a lot about your generation's financial status. You will ONLY cry online and hope that you earn enough to take care of your family some day. 30% for a family of 4 no suppose turn to mourning and hot tears.

Apart from generational poverty, there is absolutely no reason why a sane human will wail the way you have done in the last 12 hours.

You're the one that needs advice,I understand that in your family that drunken simp you call a father will toil all day to come back to the house only for that slut you call a mother to snatch that money out his hand and use it the way she likes and the simp(your father) will take it as the normal way things are done..no it's not the same everywhere, you're family lifestyle is not a perfect example of how a family should be run,the man complain of sexual intimacy and a clown who is neither in a relationship nor ever married before took off with only what the man wrote about his income and expenditure in the family, forgetting that the bone of contention is sexual intimacy.
You might as well advice the man's wife to start cheating on him like your mother always does, since to you what he gives her isn't enough, wait until you get married or enter into a committed relationship before you will understand somethings, don't just come out to say you're a man, because you have prick therefore, you're eligible to comment in some issues, while all you have ever done in your life is to hustle,use the money you got and fuq ashawo..no! You're not eligible to comment on this kind of issues,get your life together before commenting on marriage or relationship matters, and by the way tell your simp father that in his next life he should be more masculine than that sorry and fibble of a man his whoring wife has reduced him to.

Acidosis:

No wahala. Marry someone like your mother. All the best.

You mean I should marry an intelligent woman that knows how to cook, keep her marriage all while working a top management position in a big firm. I pray I do.

Besides is she the only one that does that, is there any sensible woman with a functioning brain that wants to spend all her free time cooking as against relaxing.

Oga you don’t have any reasonable point. Sit down.

Acidosis:


I am not speaking for women/men; rather I am addressing op's matter based on the extent of evidence given.

Check my post on another thread here (https://www.nairaland.com/7837010/woman-husband-left-me-pregnant/7#125738852), where I faulted a woman's decision for denying her husband sex.

You see, unlike you, I address matters as they are presented. I don't go looking for threads to blame women (or men). I addressed contexts, not gender.

It's not hard to see the underlying issues especially one that the op already indicated in his post. He started by listing the amount of work his wife does and ended by mentioning her constant complaints of fatigue.

"First to report no means say you be victim."

What I am sensing is that op's wife is a naturally lazy bum who is too bone lazy to do the simple work of taking care of the home front while her husband works to take care of the finances of the family. Forget the fatigue complaint! That's what all lazy wives do to cover up their laziness and make it look like the task of taking care of the house is killing them.

I hope you're aware that in this same country, there are women who work and bring money to the family's table and still do their wifely duties at home? Yet despite not working and contributing to the family's finances, op's wife is too bone lazy to do her wifely duties at home? And you still blame the op?

I have sisters who are married, working and carrying their families and still still do their wifely duties at home without complaining. In fact, one recently financed relocation of her family abroad (something the husband could only dream of). If my sisters and some other women out there are doing the above, no woman has any excuses for being a lazy bum and depending solely on their husbands!

The above is the reason why I'll rather not marry than marry a lady I'll be the one carrying like some handicapped person, when my own sisters are the ones carrying their men.

Mombebe:








Hurry up and go and sue him to court,did you see where he wrote that she doesn't work,all the bills in that house is dependant on that 700k,both family members,school fees,cars everything,did you ask his wife if she has ever requested money from her husband and he turns her down,I hope you know that the subject of his complains is sexual intimacy and not the upkeep money.
So with 700k as a married man, you don't even know how much they pay for rent,how many children he has and how many dependants he has plus all other bills, other projects and plans he might have,is it because he's a salary earner?so you think that money is enough to be flaunting a luxurious lifestyle...700k x12=8.4m in a year,did you ask how long he has been earning that amount of money.
A business man is Onitsha main market or alaba international market could be making more than that in a month,so if such person takes care of all the bills in the house and still gives his wife 100k monthly,then that's not enough..go make your own and spend it anyhow you want.
If it were the woman that's making such amount and taking care of everything in the house,that man could have been in hell right now.
You people are so unreasonable in some issues.
Do you know what it takes to make 100k monthly?

You are now making excuses for the OP and making insinuations that he did not imply.

Here is the direct quote from the OP;

"I give feeding allowance and personal totalof 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of."

Except you are being disingenuous or you did not read this part, you will see where he wrote total for feeding allowance and personal expenses and he invests the rest in a project.

I don't see where you are making those additional insinuations from.

In Nigeria of today N700k would not afford you a luxurious lifestyle, except you don't know what luxurious means. You will spend over 100k on petrol alone that if your luxurious lifestyle includes at least 1 average car. If your car develops a major fault, you will spend more than 100k. I bought a car engine for 450k 2 months ago.

Now let's talk about house rent. Can N700k provide you a luxurious house? A standard 3 bedroom flat with gated fence and borehole in ikorodu is nothing less than N90k per month. School fees in a standard school in ikorodu will set you back nothing less than 40k/month, that apart from books and other expenses.

I have not even stated talking about Tertiary Education. My friend who walks in the oil industry and earns N1.2 million per month is crying because Babcock University raised their tuition fees from N1.5 million to N2.9 million, and you are calling N700k luxurious.

Father4all:
If the accountant is earning that much. Then how much is the MD earning. People are deceiving themselves. That's why the country is like this

Just because you work in a N50K per month company, does not mean other companies don't pay much.

Instead of you to use their stories as a point of contact to divine elevation, and work towards achieving such feat, you're there stagnating yourself with your backward thoughts.

Ask people working in the Oil & Gas, Multinational Corporations, the United Nations, Bankers, etc how much they earn in a month, you're there encouraging yourself that your present level is the height every other career person must not exceed.

I strongly dislike crossing paths with pessimists. All they usually see is the o in zero, they never trained their minds to see the O in Opportunity.

Awon 'it is never going to be possible'!

Please, don't quote me again. Your mindset dey make me yarn, abeg.

wirinet:


You are now making excuses for the OP and making insinuations that he did not imply.

Here is the direct quote from the OP;

"I give feeding allowance and personal totalof 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of."

Except you are being disingenuous or you did not read this part, you will see where he wrote total for feeding allowance and personal expenses and he invests the rest in a project.

I don't see where you are making those additional insinuations from.

In Nigeria of today N700k would not afford you a luxurious lifestyle, except you don't know what luxurious means. You will spend over 100k on petrol alone that if your luxurious lifestyle includes at least 1 average car. If your car develops a major fault, you will spend more than 100k. I bought a car engine for 450k 2 months ago.

Now let's talk about house rent. Can N700k provide you a luxurious house? A standard 3 bedroom flat with gated fence and borehole in ikorodu is nothing less than N90k per month. School fees in a standard school in ikorodu will set you back nothing less than 40k/month, that apart from books and other expenses.

I have not even stated talking about Tertiary Education. My friend who walks in the oil industry and earns N1.2 million per month is crying because Babcock University raised their tuition fees from N1.5 million to N2.9 million, and you are calling N700k luxurious.

Like I said, you and your lots should go sue the man, thankfully your analysis proved my point,he spends the rest on a project that she's aware of and takes care of everyother bills except the feeding, that's enough to deny him sex..well,she should start making some money to support him though,since both of them are adults and the upkeep (feeding) money isn't just enough even with the project he's handling at the moment, could the upkeep money not being enough be the reason she's denying her husband his right?

extremelygolden:


Just because you work in a N50K per month company, does not mean other companies don't pay much.

Instead of you to use their stories as a point of contact to divine elevation, and work towards achieving such feat, you're there stagnating yourself with your backward thoughts.

Ask people working in the Oil & Gas, Multinational Corporations, the United Nations, Bankers, etc how much they earn in a month, you're there encouraging yourself that your present level is the height every other career person must not exceed.

I strongly dislike crossing paths with pessimists. All they usually see is the o in zero, they never trained their minds to see the O in Opportunity.

Awon 'it is never going to be possible'!

Please, don't quote me again. Your mindset dey make me yarn, abeg.

stop talking what you don't know. Did I ever discussed my salary with you? I still stand by my word. If everyone on the Internet is earning 500k 700k. There won't be so much hungry in Nigeria

When you say you don't drink and smoke, how can you reason straight. I pity your mental health. You better go find better Canadian loud

Harddiskng:

You mean I should marry an intelligent woman that knows how to cook, keep her marriage all while working a top management position in a big firm. I pray I do.

Besides is she the only one that does that, is there any sensible woman with a functioning brain that wants to spend all her free time cooking as against relaxing.

Oga you don’t have any reasonable point. Sit down.

You mean your mother works in a top management position in a big firm and she had all the time to clean, cook, do market runs, babysit two kids all by her sex without spending a kobo on house assistants, etc?

Well, I like to believe you; that's why I am wishing you luck in finding a woman like your mother in a digital age.

Working in a top management position isn't even the issue. My grandmother no go school but she had assistant at different phases in her life. By all means reduce your workload. Stress is not a flex.

Lets not make your mom a centre of this discussion tho. Op's issue is mainly about sex. I believe you would be responsible enough to not involve your mom in such discussions.

We need to learn that marriage is jus 30% about happiness. Marriage is more about devotion to duty, stoicism, sacrifice and procreation.
Marriage is tough and we need to be prepared to make it work. If you mostly find happiness in marriage & it is easy for you, just know that it is a rarity.

Acidosis:


If the female gender likes and appreciates my posts, then that means I am posting things that matter to them. Why are you resisting happiness? You don't want to keep your wife happy and sane?

I am not making excuses for his wife. I have only given him tips for his own sanity. In life, you have to always make choices. Some will help you, others *may* destroy you.

Jman06:
What I am sensing is that op's wife is a naturally lazy bum who is too bone lazy to do the simple work of taking care of the home front while her husband works to take care of the finances of the family. Forget the fatigue complaint! That's what all lazy wives do to cover up their laziness and make it look like the task of taking care of the house is killing them.

I hope you're aware that in this same country, there are women who work and bring money to the family's table and still do their wifely duties at home? Yet despite not working and contributing to the family's finances, op's wife is too bone lazy to do her wifely duties at home? And you still blame the op?

I have sisters who are married, working and carrying their families and still still do their wifely duties at home without complaining. In fact, one recently financed relocation of her family abroad (something the husband could only dream of). If my sisters and some other women out there are doing the above, no woman has any excuses for being a lazy bum and depending solely on their husbands!

The above is the reason why I'll rather not marry than marry a lady I'll be the one carrying like some handicapped person, when my own sisters are the ones carrying their men.

How is she lazy when the husband already mentioned her qualities (one being that she is a hardworking woman)?

I think it is disrespectful to relegate domestic duties because someone employed you to work for them. A very big disrespect to your partner or whoever you choose to pay to do these tasks. I imagine that you also think very low of your dry cleaners, cleaning companies, and caterers. May be I should send you a proposal to clean your apartment for a year (used to own a cleaning business btw). Then I would also send you my IG plug for food delivery. By the time you pay all year round, nobody will teach you how to appreciate your woman or those rendering the services to you FOC.

Acidosis is on point pls. Go with the advice