dosage150:

No actually single mother but a separated family (no divorce)

Grew up under the shade of our mum
19years + (still counting)

yea,I got it

My father inculcated fear into me right from my childhood to teenage. It has affected me so badly.
Vintage African parents don't show emotional support to their kids.

Myer:


So sorry to hear that.
Only God can solve this.
You do realise the is a major spiritual issue?

I think many factors were at play over the years cos he didn't just change all at once. it was a metamorphosis

Samantha124:
My father is a very busy man, but he always has time for me.

I've also observed how my brothers in law have time for their children too... And their children are very comfortable and open around them... One time I found my brother in law helping my niece on how to put a wig on and sometimes he'll take her out... Same thing applies with my other brother in law to a point that if his daughter doesn't get to see him for more than a week, she gets sick.

Judging by most of the comments here, it seems like most of your fathers are there, but absent in your lives.

They're only there because they're married to your mothers.

A man isn't raised to fix female wigs/weavon.
I don't know,but you,as a lady,is in no position to determine how and what truly a real man is.
You just got to be a man yourself to di that.

tosinhtml:


Omo because even to feed myself gaan na wahala. I wan take one year sick leave make i rest from working

Sometimes I dey wonder if them been dey borrow from loan app of those years. The matha doesn't maths o.

There no such a thing as a wife material... Because what you consider as a wife material may be the complete opposite with another man.

And yes, men who grew up without mothers have a tendency to making awful husbands too.

tiswell:
oops! it seem I just awaken the feminism nerves

Draslo:

I think many factors were at play over the years cos he didn't just change all at once. it was a metamorphosis

Until you acknowledge what it is, I'm afraid you will keep plastering the wound instead of confronting the root cause.

There's a spirit than needs to be confronted and driven out of your home.

Mark.3.27 - No one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. And then he will plunder his house.

Myer:


Until you acknowledge what it is, I'm afraid you will keep plastering the wound instead of confronting the root cause.

There's a spirit than needs to be confronted and driven out of your home.

Mark.3.27 - No one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. And then he will plunder his house.

You think so?

jojothaiv:
Hardly calls but we are on good note.

Hustle don make me ditch their side a long time ago, I can't sit down with them and expect the bills not to keep on piling.

Up your hustle guy,
Leave all those hustle make you, hustle no make you.
People still keep up with family on a regular incorporating hustle too

Samantha124:
There no such a thing as a wife material... Because what you consider as a wife material may be the complete opposite with another man.

And yes, men who grew up without mothers have a tendency to making awful husbands too.

see,naturally, men are not as manipulative and vindictive as women.

And yes,there are wife materials,it depends on what you understand by that.
How can a lady who hasn't felt or experienced fatherly love and care as a girl child,grow to 'miraculously" become a good wife,when all she knows from childhood is bitterness towards men?

so much to learned from this topic as a parents, most parents have failed in this aspect and we need seek forgiveness from our kids, don’t see ur children as kids , Honestly speaking kids of nowadays are just stone hearted one waiting for the time their would be power transfer to them and they treat ur bleeped up, moral of the lesson , make ur children ur best friend, cos of ur old age.

So a man can't have a father and a daughter relationship with his own child?

And where is it written that a man can't help his daughter with her wig? Just because you weren't raised to do something, it doesn't mean you can't do it with your own children and bond with them.

This is why you guys don't have a relationship with your fathers even though they're married to your mothers, you know nothing about a father and a child bond.

I know what a real man and father is like because I was raised by one.

tiswell:
A man isn't raised to fix female wigs/weavon.
I don't know,but you,as a lady,is in no position to determine how and what truly a real man is.
You just got to be a man yourself to di that.

Draslo:

You think so?

Life is spiritual. I do not think so, I know so. And you should too.

Draslo:

I'm half blind in one eye. I have forgiven him but we drifted apart. It's not just me, same as with my siblings. You know when you just get to that point where you can't share personal stuff with your parent anymore. You're just their child and they're your parent and responsibilities on either side of that are not lagging but there's no friendship per se. Anger issues, trust issues, control issues and like you rightly mentioned, self righteous issues... these are some of his traits. In fact, there's no time my siblings and I are talking about him and one of these traits isn't the reason for the conversation. Even though a parent(s) can make loving them difficult, we just do anyway.

Wow, that is so awful. I believe in his heart he has regrets about his action that day, but being a typical African parent, he won't admit it. Really sorry to hear about your experience.

The same thing applies with men, men who were raised without mothers know nothing about being good husbands.

tiswell:
see,naturally, men are not as manipulative and vindictive as women.

And yes,there are wife materials,it depends on what you understand by that.
How can a lady who hasn't felt or experienced fatherly love and care as a girl child,grow to 'miraculously" become a good wife,when all she knows from childhood is bitterness towards men?

Idk why I lagged when I saw this topic…

Draslo:
Barely talk to my dad about anything. We used to be very close when I was a kid until the day he gave me a scar nobody can miss when they see me. He flogged me thinking I was lying only to find out later I was telling the truth. He never apologized. I love my mom but I limit what I share with her cos na man I be


This scar dey mess with my self esteem badly even till today. I've had women tell me without the scar, aesthetically, I would be perfect.

He didn't apologize?

I'm shocked!

I so much love my dad and mama too .been a long time I see dem base on Hustle has took all ma time to visit. We do talk on phone once a while.my daddy always to tell me always pray and don't forget to pray.always make sure you pray.

Nats12:
Two parallel lines
Don't get me wrong, there's no animosity between us. But our philosophy of life is different so most times we don't agree on so many things.

The good thing is we understand and respect each other's opinions

That's an understanding father

Samantha124:
The same thing applies with men, men who were raised without mothers know nothing about being good husbands.

I can't win it here seems,but in reality,it is what it is.

Samantha124:
So a man can't have a father and a daughter relationship with his own child?

And where is it written that a man can't help his daughter with her wig? Just because you weren't raised to do something, it doesn't mean you can't do it with your own children and bond with them.

This is why you guys don't have a relationship with your fathers even though they're married to your mothers, you know nothing about a father and a child bond.

I know what a real man and father is like because I was raised by one.

This is relative,not general.

spencekat:
Are/were you living with your parents?

Does it matter? When i was living with him was no different with when i wasn't living with him.
The man is unexplainable, he's everything I wish not to be.

tiswell:
Single mother-raised or just mother's most ways of getting back at fathers-prolly for some minor issues way back.

You lads should wake da fvck up,cos this cycle will continue,even with ya offspring,mo matter how hard you think you want to please them.

Leave my mum outta this, na even she dey push me to love my dad. The man no be am, he has no friends, everyone runs from him, even his children

Mine is good.

I'm glad and always thankful to God for the kind of parents I have. I wouldn't be what I am today without the kind of training and upbringing I had from them. All I can say is, may they live longer to reap the fruit of their labour from me.,that is and will always be my prayer.

Gangster1ms:

Leave my mum outta this, na even she dey push me to love my dad. The man no be am, he has no friends, everyone runs from him, even his children

ok...

descent96:
I'm glad and always thankful to God for the kind of parents I have. I wouldn't be what I am today without the kind of training and upbringing I had from them. All I can say is, may they live longer to reap the fruit of their labour from me.,that is and will always be my prayer.

Amen,baba,amen!

Relationship with my mum not good, I've never had a relationship with my dad it's more like we're acquaintances from afar till his death

Draslo:
Barely talk to my dad about anything. We used to be very close when I was a kid until the day he gave me a scar nobody can miss when they see me. He flogged me thinking I was lying only to find out later I was telling the truth. He never apologized. I love my mom but I limit what I share with her cos na man I be


This scar dey mess with my self esteem badly even till today. I've had women tell me without the scar, aesthetically, I would be perfect.

No let another human words define you. Who the hell is she to tell you that without the scar you would be perfect.
Lass lass, physically, no body is perfect.

Sometimes as a father, you need to put your big ego aside and be a father to your children by spending some time with them and doing the things they love, even if it means going down to their level.

This is why most African kids would be financially supporting their mothers and not their fathers when they grow older... It's not the mother's fault, but it's the man's fault for always not making time for his kids... Some kids are even afraid of their own fathers.

And by the time the fathers start thinking of making some time for their children, it'll be too late because the children would now be adults and having their own lives to live.

tiswell:
This is relative,not general.

My relationship with my parents na hmmmm!!!

Although we stay in the same town...infact just about 20 - 30 mins drive to each other but we barely talk because they and my spouse suddenly develop a kind of dislike that i find difficult to understand!!!


Man must man noni and live on no matter whay