No big deal in this. You can be my closest friend but I may be planning of buying a private jet tomorrow and you won't even know about it.

The first time I travelled out of the country only my mum and few of my siblings knew about it.

My closest friend then was surprised when I called him with a foreign number.

OP it May be painful but he may not have any bad mind towards you. If it's me though you won't be surprised coz you would have already known me for that.

You have to know yourself and what works for you. I discovered if I want to do some things and share it and the person express a negative view about it, I do find it very difficult in most cases to achieve it.

Everyone around me already knows me for that.
If you're predictable and everyone knows your moves you'll be an easy catch in this life.

Let me just reveal the secret. You're only seeing him as your best friend but to him he doesn't have best friend. That's who I am too I don't have best friend but I show love to everyone. If you notice him he hardly shares secret with you. Only normal discussion that's not personal.

Life is deeper than what we're seeing...

brain54:

Just because people do certain things…

Don’t make it right. How can any sane person travel out of the country without their parents knowledge- if they are in good terms?

If na you wear the shoe how you go feel?

And na women Dey feel emotional about these things pass o.!

I got to London before my parents knew I was no longer in 9ja....
There are people things never work for if they tell the world about it before it's done....
Don't blame people for not telling u stuff...
They choose who to share information with...
If he tells the op he's building a house.... Shey the op Wan help am buy cement or rods??
As for the food part... I am sure the op was buying of his own free will.....
If he tell the guy say e no dey do... The guy for no force am.....
So he should not feel like he holds the key to the guy's life by being friends with him

even blood relation dey do Juju for themselves ,you want him to tell you so that you will block his progress? dey play

Play the big brother role and act as if it is nothing.

Be happy for him. Always let him know that you were positive that he would be this great.

Keep the rest to yourself while working towards making your mark on earth.

Nothing to bother yourself a bit.

I can completely relate, especially from someone you called and considered your close friend. Is good that you've voiced out, at least it should make you feel better. Take the necessary lessons and move on. At least that will tell you that you have to keep to yourself too. Beat wishes

It’s time to move on
You can’t keep investing in a friendship others are not willing to do the same in

Will u keep quiet, u are full of envy, no go hustle, u fed him, see it big mouth, did he use ur money? Ur are pain because he achieve something good, I fear friends that can't celebrate success genuinely, you are pain, you are an upcoming witch, what's d difference between u ND village pple, if u near me na slap I for give u

He is not your friend

i think you are too attached to people who you consider friend.

and they may not appreciate such closeness.

So learn to stop attaching yourself to people who do not value such. And they may not really understand whay you expect from them or they may not be able to relate as you do.

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

There is no justification for his actions. If I am you, I will not attend the house opening whatever. You call him a friend, but I don't see am as one. Just be careful with him.

Blackzero:
Will u keep quiet, u are full of envy, no go hustle, u fed him, see it big mouth, did he use ur money? Ur are pain because he achieve something good, I fear friends that can't celebrate success genuinely, you are pain, you are an upcoming witch, what's d difference between u ND village pple, if u near me na slap I for give u

You missed the point and I am shocked at you.

Same shìt happened to me o. When i was applying for my visa i was giving my guy(best friend)update. Even when i got denied twice i was still telling him everything. He was even advising me i shouldn't give up and all that, meanwhile i didn't know he was also applying for visa the same period. One day i got a call from him with a foreign number, sayin he's in Ireland.I couldn't believe it.. It's been over a year now and I'm still in shock🤔. I've learnt my lesson. This days I'm keeping things to myself...

Cut off that friendship

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

Guys you don't need to bother yourself you can still keep him as a friend but let him feel what he did to you don't let him even know your movements again talkless your mind just trying to shift for him small small still he knows that what he did to you is not good

Candidlady:
Men and their stupid entitleMENt MENtality

Ihave seen people build houses or even leave the country without their parents knowing


Yaro you are just a friend!! Get that into your shallow brain

So you fed him... Must we know.. Ubanka


Atleast he invited you.. You should be grateful..

Well done madam!! If you're wife to OP, I'm pretty sure you will tell him not to attend the opening of the house! That's women for you, once it doesn't affect you, you're a great adviser! Once it touches you then you're bitter!!

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

Every good spirited person reading this should learn. Some see carefree natured people as incapable of keeping secrets and tend not to take them serious. My advice is for you to spend wisely and surprise him and your circle of associates with a secret project too

Smart people achieve their goals quietly, idiots tell the world.

Learn from your friend and build your own house without announcing to the world.

Yoruba adage

Own ti aba fi pamo lon'niyi.

What I observed is that immediately some people share such developments with anyone they started perceiving a kind of setback.

Pls dont blame the guy he might not have a bad motive against you.

Attend the house warming with joy and happiness.

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

You're overreacting. Some people don't even tell their family members when buying or building houses until later... And that's fair enough. Congratulate him since he also contacted you via DM, and then move on with your life without envy or bitterness towards him because he built a new house. Period.

Etosha:
It's one thing to see someone as a friend, but for that person to see you as a friend is another thing.

This is very true. It is not automatic.

grafixdon:
That's your enemy right there, not a friend. A friend that could keep such secret from you even when you've been nice to him not worthy to be call a friend. The same thing happened to me a year ago, imagine my close friend travelled outta country without letting me know. We even went to bar a day before he travelled. A friend of about 17years. Common.

I can see how that might have hurt you since you both went to a bar just a day before he travelled... But if the guy contacted you on getting to the country he relocated to (UK, Canada, etc) then you can still relate with him as a friend, and forgive him.

hahahah... the problem is people become inconsiderate and only think of themselves. i have some relatives. after they get married, they want to BOSS people around and forget to respect others

Angelfrost:
I keep telling you guys that as we grow older, we mostly grow apart...!

He is still your friend, but you have likely been overstating your closeness as friends.


Trust is a big deal that is not permitted anyhow.

Men will forever measure dicks, some are loud about it, some are silent. While you taking charge of people's bills & always been that guy mk sure you got something going on for you too, some education, some training, some project you haven't told anyone. Balance is always required & rewarding nemo

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

Its not new. Your openness and sincerity with him is JUDGE between two of you. It often happened, even within brothers of same father and mother.
Do me l do you.
Start and finish your own too and inform him when you want to celebrate its completion.

ItisWell22:


And this is why the op is hurting.
He took this guy as a brother and had no secrets with him.

Let’s all be realistic and stop all this stoicism; it’s painful.

If op had seen the guy as just another of his guys, e for no pain am.
But he took this guy as a brother and hid nothing from him.
Why should he hide such huge leap from op?
So op doesn’t wake up from his slumber if he probably hasn’t built his own house?
Then he isn’t a good friend.

Op, learn your lesson and move.
He was never a friend.
Or probably, never valued you as much as you valued him.

Reason why I just expect nothing from no one and expect everyone to disappoint me; ahead, ahead…

Bro, in this life, you just have to move in silence.

Let me tell you straight.

From Op's writing, he already see himself superior to his friend, hence why he was yapping about buying this, buying that. He even stated that the said friend saw him as his big Bro.

Op's friend moved in silence because he knew Op's nature of breeding enviousness and jealousy.

I believe everyone has these toxic spirits inside of them but it takes a better person to discipline oneself to conquering those spirits.

Im just like OP's friend, if I feel you have a toxic spirit, I wont update your about my progress so you won't sabotage me and I dont give a fvck how you feel about it.

Op, don't take it too personal. You shouldn't consider him less of a friend. You self dey discipline and always remember that you're living in a cold world.

Stay sharp

OP that's people for you... A close friend of mine just got married recently, told few ppl in the office didn't inform me saying that her Pastor told her not to inform people bla bla because of evil spirits. So I was wondering why she had to inform ppl @ all..From her posts on What's app I could tell she traveled yet she still denied. Anyway I really do feel hurt by what she did, though I wish her well..I just had to re draw...She simply doesn't see me as a friend.

I always laugh at Nigerians sha. Building a house is not a guarantee of a secured future. I know many uncles that built mansions while growing up but are broke today.


I know a lot of men that owned houses here and there back then but today they are struggling to survive.


That you managed to build a house is not a guarantee that you have ran away from future financial lack. Many house owners end up selling their houses and lands to sustain their family when their source of income dries up.



Having a successful business or small company is far greater than owning a house.


Residential house should be one of the last things you should do towards your retirement age, like 60plus not at a young age that you should be investing your money into secured investments and businesses that will yield daily or monthly return.



I see anybody that is below 50 years building a massive residential house as someone that lack financial wisdom, unless you are working in a secured job and don't have time to engage in business, but then, it's better to build rented apartments or block of shops, shopping mall than a residential house at below 50 years, unless you are too rich that you have invested hugely in different secured businesses and investment portfolios

Sometimes it's just best to keep things to oneself in this country at @OP. Your friend bmight want to tell you but maybe circumstances happening would have promotes him not to tell you. Some people die under mysterious circumstances once they commence a project.


Just share your grievances with him and let the relationship move forward. I understand by our hurt though. There are some friendship that are thicker than blood relation.

na lie. usually the ones that achieve it quietly tend to be mediocre people

sulaak:
Smart people achieve their goals quietly, idiots tell the world.

Learn from your friend and build your own house without announcing to the world.

It is not good enough for not telling you as you are close friends. But people are different, and that is the way he has chosen to relate with you. You can let him know your grievances, but if doing things is his nature, he will still do some other things and not tell you.

there are certain things you don't tell people.

XAUBulls:

You're overreacting. Some people don't even tell their family members when buying or building houses until later... And that's fair enough. Congratulate him since he also contacted you via DM, and then move on with your life without envy or bitterness towards him because he built a new house. Period.