Evolutionism:


Won bi Iyalaya babalanku baba e lona orun da.

Wa batter tani?? Oti shey tan ti o fe ku abi?

Awon obi e fe fi oju sun kue ki odu yii to pari..

nah online forum so enjoy but no go loose guard make ur info fall for my hand coz I will find you

translux:
Any Husband that is asking the wife for what she's bringing to the table isn't yet matured for a marriage, This is the 14th year that I got married to my wife and for the fact that I have been footing 100 percent of the bills till date, I have never for a day asked my wife for what she's bringing to the table, for the facts that we have somany responsibilities, I aways encourage her in the past that things will get better with time but we thank God Almighty that he has blessed our marriage with everything in life.

one ask such becoz the woman would be demanding what herself cant even provide

eg how many women wants a man who drives a range rover but her self cant even afford the cheapest car ger own parent doesnt even own a wheelbarrow

There is nothing wrong to aim high, but aim for things you are able to sustain as individual

ogbe88:
Another rat talking.

U are warned.

F*** off

Virgo3:
nah online forum so enjoy but no go loose guard make ur info fall for my hand coz I will find you

Come down to Lagos Island, Plot 1 Abibuoko Street, Off Adeniji Adele.

Or better still we can meet at Adeniji Adele bridge. Just update me here when you get there.

Rukevwe999:

The thing is that when we begin to measure our partners by "what they bring to the table", the relationship starts to become transactional and we begin to measure them by what they give us, which they will not be able to fulfill all the time. And when a relationship starts taking a transactional route, selfishness abounds. Relationship is about giving.
Yes, we are supposed to hold our partners to certain standards and our specific roles must be defined.
See, the thing is a man's life is about service. Men are held at a higher standard that is why we are above women and hold more leadership positions. We lead our relationships, forget that woke trash about equality, men always carry the bigger burden of relationship and the society. Leaders are leaders because they carry the higher burden and responsibility, and women to an extent are just consumers. Pregnancy itself is not an easy task for both partners.

On the thing about pregnancy, women don't joke about reproduction. In fact it's inbuilt in them. Why do you think little girls love to cradle their dolls like babies ? If you've seen most childless couples you'll notice that it's always the women who are mostly desperate than the men. Even some of the most empowered women seek meaning in having children and nurturing them. Forget what some feminists say, some are products of dysfunctional families. It's not about turning a woman into a baby factory.
That's life. That's nature.

i think you're not looking at this discussion from a global perspective, for example a country like USA has tripled the population of women who do not want kids. Same nation has elevated women to a position where they are equal opportunities for women to earn serious income. So in such situations, how would women still value men?

If men are the so called leaders but society/government started stripping them of their God given role, what happens?

Whether we like it or not, marriage is transactional, a man promises to build a family with a woman and there are certain expectations that comes with that, similarly a woman agrees to build a family with a man and such man suddenly expects certain things. The problem starts when a woman is no longer seen as a woman but Mrs. somebody or mama somebody. A woman with no life outside of her husband or kid, such women usually end up filled with regrets. All it takes is life taking a wrong turn and the dream becomes shattered!

For men, all it takes is a divorce or worse and then that so called service that you said is a man's purpose becomes meaningless! So I repeat my premise, whether you be man or woman, you must bring something else to the table other than your natural talents! Not for your spouse's sake but for YOUR OWN SAKE!

Exactly! A woman giving birth is fulfilling her biological role as a woman,so also a man putting food on the table or providing for the family is also a "financial role" of the man. Nothing serious. This life nor too hard.

Fahvvy:
If you think a woman giving birth is "sacrifice", then I believe there must be a new meaning to the word "sacrifice" ...

I am not trying to downplay the severities surrounding pregnancy, however, it's no news that women are biologically wired to give birth ...

So a woman giving birth is just her fulfilling her biological role, nothing much ...

Ashawoman82:
so u think I see okonjo iweala and alakija as nothing?

You see their MONEY and ACHIEVEMENTS as something. But as women, you and all the other male posters here see them as nothing. It is why those are your only examples of what you consider women (actually just money and it's appearances in female form) and not the ones around you.

And that really is why there's opposition to what the OP posted. But you would expect to be respected by women for nothing other than just being men.

If you can't understand that, then the conversation is over. Thank you.

4everyoungpresh:
Exactly! A woman giving birth is fulfilling her biological role as a woman,so also a man putting food on the table or providing for the family is also a "financial role" of the man. Nothing serious. This life nor too hard.

Do you have any evidence that proves that providing for the family is a man's role or is this one of those societal BS you have come to believe hook, line and sinker? ...

Eggs are released every month and sperm could be released thrice every day in their millions.

So plenty appears to be chasing few giving the appearance of value.

More like too many naira chasing the dollar and few dollar chasing the naira. Dollar gains value and naira loses

darediamond:

Are the Children not hers to? Or was it ONLY SPERM that brings forth the Children.

Both parties brings forth the child and they must Both take care of the child FINANCIALLY as well. It is irresponsible of A lady to think child bearing is a sacrifice. Sacrifices for who?


What you so is what you reap- If Childbearing is a Sacrifice then the THRUSTING AND THE RELEASE OF QUALITY SPEARM BY THE MAN IS a GIGANTIC SACRIFICE TOO.

Oga, you are promoting PROSTITUTION IN DISGUISE or IGNORANTLY.

welzyj2:


You were making it seem like work isn't demanding or can't be breath taking

Then you didn't understand my post.

Most women see childbearing as a form of sacrifice in marriage as it takes them off the dating market in a way or rather, it reduces their value in the dating market and relationship plantets

Cus most men don't want to end up with the mother of another man's child. It stings them in a way

darediamond:

Are the Children not hers to? Or was it ONLY SPERM that brings forth the Children.

Both parties brings forth the child and they must Both take care of the child FINANCIALLY as well. It is irresponsible of A lady to think child bearing is a sacrifice. Sacrifices for who?


What you so is what you reap- If Childbearing is a Sacrifice then the THRUSTING AND THE RELEASE OF QUALITY SPEARM BY THE MAN IS a GIGANTIC SACRIFICE TOO.

Oga, you are promoting PROSTITUTION IN DISGUISE or IGNORANTLY.

RingRoadCartel:
OP have you ever been to an oil rig make you see how men dey risk their lives DAILY to put food on the table?

What is the point of this whataboutism?


And let us even play a little 'game' of numbers, even though it involves actual lives: I triple dare you to go and look at the death of oil rig workers in FIVE COUNTRIES put together in A YEAR, and compare it to maternal deaths DAILY, 2 deaths every fuvking minute—e nor reach!

I will be waiting.


The way you people will just be whipping up oil rig workers in every biases you have against women when ON AVERAGE, dem nor dey pass 50 people wey dey die. In a fuçking year.

Don't take my word for it; go and check.

And finally, do you know the meaning of sacrifice at all, seeing as that is the point the OP is making?

Fahvvy:
If you think a woman giving birth is "sacrifice", then I believe there must be a new meaning to the word "sacrifice" ...

I am not trying to downplay the severities surrounding pregnancy, however, it's no news that women are biologically wired to give birth ...

So a woman giving birth is just her fulfilling her biological role, nothing much ...

The meaning of it sure hasn't changed.

For a woman who chooses to give birth, she's offering up her body with the prospect of drastic changes, life-altering complications and death to bring another human alive.

How is this not sacrificial in any way?

Ashawoman82:
there are more riskier " occupation" than giving birth, that's what he's saying since u see child bearing as an occupation.

Show me.

That job that leads to a death every two minutes**, even as we're speaking right now, I want to know it.

RingRoadCartel:
OP have you ever been to an oil rig make you see how men dey risk their lives DAILY to put food on the table?

And this is not even considering how common oil rig workers are.

I am not even a versed researcher or anything like that, but common sense tells me, upon seeing this comment, to ask how many pregnant women are there in a population vs. how many oil rig workers are in the same population?

Look around you. Are there not always more pregnant women to husbands with ordinary jobs? How many women are married to (or dating) soldiers? How many women are married to (or dating) firefighters? How many women are married to paramilitary men? And the most of these women will get pregnant multiple times and give birth.


It is also very TELLING, bloody telling that you guys will always bring the most extreme and "fringiest" of masculine jobs to counter anything about women biologically.

Nah, we are it, abeg.

We are it. You mean you looked around you, you couldn't find any ordinary thing simple men do to cancel out the very wondrous, follow-come ability I have as a woman, except you go farther away to bring up firefighters?


That is an indirect admission of how serious pregnancy is, if you don't know, and it automatically negates any downplaying you might be attempting to do.

abbey621:
...are we saying all women are good for is making babies like a factory?

No, nobody is saying that.

Respecting someone for something and acknowledging what they do, are offering, are capable of, etc., is not reducing them to that thing/function.

Saying child-bearing is a major + any woman brings 'to the table' =/= women are meant for (only) child-bearing.

linearity:
It is not sacrifice if you derive benefits from it, if it brings you joy, happiness, fulfillment, etc! don’t call it sacrifice, you simply did it for some selfish self motivating gains that you will derive from it.

English is a problem o.

In what books did you read that a sacrifice should negate all these you've listed as a benefit?

If you choose not to start an immediate business in Nigeria that's guaranteed to bring you 50,000 naira daily, and you "sacrificed" that to study overseas and in five years time, you're making 30 million naira in a year abroad, does that negate the sacrifice you've done?


If you sacrificed spending time on social media for reading, and at the end of the day, you came out as the best graduating student of your set, does that mean you did not go through the pain of being "disciplined?"

Magnoliaa:


Show me.

That job that leads to 2 deaths every minute, even as we're speaking right now, I want to know it.

abegy go and rest are we in the 16th century that you will give such false statistics,abegy....

BRATISLAVA:


You see their MONEY and ACHIEVEMENTS as something. But as women, you and all the other male posters here see them as nothing. It is why those are your only examples of what you consider women (actually just money and it's appearances in female form) and not the ones around you.

And that really is why there's opposition to what the OP posted. But you would expect to be respected by women for nothing other than just being men.

If you can't understand that, then the conversation is over. Thank you.

same applicable to men , achievement and success is the only criteria that can make anybody stand out , not just giving birth, animals give birth too..abeg go and rest , look at the way u are misinterpreting my comment ...I said what I said if u feel pregnancy is the ultimate thing u bring to the table and and such u don't need to bring another thing, then u are not a virtuous woman, u are a woman of no value.

Ashawoman82:
abegy go and rest are we in the 16th century that you will give such false statistics,abegy....

If you don't believe it, show your own true stats?

And tell me what job on earth is far more risky than giving birth to a child, and how many deaths occur with it. You claimed it, should it be hard to defend?

Magnoliaa:


No, nobody is saying that.

Respecting someone for something and acknowledging what they do, are offering, are capable of, etc., is not reducing them to that thing/function.

Saying child-bearing is a major + any woman brings 'to the table' =/= women are meant for (only) child-bearing.

Isn't that the same as saying a man that only brings huge prick or very good in bed is a plus to the marriage......Keyword here is ONLY! If a woman's only plus is her baby making skills......Is that not an insult to such a woman. I already stated earlier, I won't spend millions to send my daughter to a top notch school only for one guy to tell her you know what, just stay home and make babies

mariahAngel:


You are a very wicked human being if you can type that trash after reading the post.
Very wicked!

*Spits! 😪

You're fond of being emotional concerning other people's views on matters.

Try dey calm down jare! 😏

abbey621:
Isn't that the same as saying a man that only brings huge prick or very good in bed is a plus to the marriage......

Good sex is a value to any relationship.

Any good thing anybody brings to a relationship is a positive addition. Knowing how to cook, knowing how to fix things around the house, being a kind, considerate person. Virtually anything that you're adding to another's life in a way that improves them or the quality of a relationship is a value. Even having a listening ear, being empathetic, motivating, mentally stimulating. Being a great influence in their lives, materially and in other ways that are not**.

The problem with y'all is when you start to reduce people to the roles or a single role they perform in a relationship, especially without reciprocating back. So yeah, bodies, peenises and vaginas do not carry a worth in themselves, but they can provide worth through sex, cuddles and other intimate acts. Admiring a partner's body can also be aesthetically pleasing.

And then different things people bring to a relationship obviously differs on a scale of value.

Pregnancy and labour are a 50/50 thing between life and death. In what school were you thought to equate that to sex?

The risks and the consequences that comes with that outweigh any benefit or disappointment you'll be getting from sex. Women's bodies drastically changes, and out of their control most times, with pregnancy. Have you ever heard of a person getting vitiligo from pregnancy? I've seen one.

Changes to all of the five senses come with pregnancy and the crazy thing is, what happens to one woman cannot be predicted for another woman. Even 5 pregnancies to one woman is a different experience each time.

So I am asking you: on what basis are you comparing this to getting hard or wet?

Magnoliaa:


Good sex is a value to any relationship.

Any good thing anybody brings to a relationship is a positive addition. Knowing how to vook, knowing how to fix things around the house, being a kind, considerate person. Virtually anything that you're adding to another's life in a way that improves them or the quality of a relationship is a value. Even having a listening ear, being empathetic, motivating, mentally stimulating.

The problem with y'all is when you start to reduce people to the roles or a single role they perform in a relationship, especially without reciprocating back. So yeah, bodies, peenises and vaginas do not carry a worth in themselves, but they can provide worth through sex, cuddles and other intimate acts. Admiring a partner's body can also be aesthetically pleasing.

And then different things people bring to a relationship obviously differs on a scale of value.

Pregnancy and labour are a 50/50 thing between life and death. In what school where you thought to equate that to sex?

The risks and the consequences that comes with that outweigh any benefit or disappointment you'll be getting from sex. Women's bodies drastically changes, and out of the control most times, with pregnancy. Have you ever heard of a person getting vitiligo from pregnancy? I've seen one.

Changes to all of the five senses come with pregnancy and the crazy thing is, what happens to one woman cannot be predicted for another woman. Even 5 pregnancies to one woman is a different experience each time.

So I am asking you: on what basis are you comparing this to getting hard or wet?

So judging by the bold part of your comment you feel pregnancy is a favor to the man? You don't see it as a natural part of any marriage? If that's the case, would you equate the risk/danger to a man that risks his life everyday to provide for his family?

Would most women be content with a man that says he does not want kids? Would most women consider such a man an ideal partner? So basically you're saying women willingly take on this danger and should be rewarded and that it can't be compared to for example, men who willingly put themselves in danger to provide financially for their family? Please make it make sense!

abbey621:
So judging by the bold part of your comment you feel pregnancy is a favor to the man?

Pregnancy and labour are a big sacrifice on a woman's part for the family. It is something to bring 'to the table'. That's all I have said here and cared about.


Anything else you're saying are simply strawman arguments.

The post is simply for some of y'all to see labour and carrying a baby to term as a very tangible thing a woman can bring to a relationship.

Magnoliaa:


Pregnancy and labour are a big sacrifice on a woman's part for the family. It is something to bring 'to the table'. That's all I have said here and cared about.


Anything else you're saying are simply strawman arguments.

The post is simply for some of y'all to see labour and carrying a baby to term as a very tangible thing a woman can bring to a relationship.

Yet the argument was never about it not being tangible, my premise remains the same. It CAN'T be the ONLY thing a woman brings to the table, you having a child is not a favor to your man, just like a man's risking his life to provide financially is not a favor to his woman.

You can make babies yayyyyyyyy but is that all you're good for? Okay fine I don't want kids at least not until you're old and in menopause then what? What ya gonna do? . Do you still have a purpose in the marriage or will your world suddenly unravel? I'm simply saying women gotta be worth more than just a baby making machine.....Ya dig?

Magnoliaa:


What is the point of this whataboutism?


And let us even play a little 'game' of numbers, even though it involves actual lives: I triple dare you to go and look at the death of oil rig workers in FIVE COUNTRIES put together in A YEAR, and compare it to maternal deaths DAILY, 2 deaths every fuvking minute—e nor reach!

I will be waiting.


The way you people will just be whipping up oil rig workers in every biases you have against women when ON AVERAGE, dem nor dey pass 50 people wey dey die. In a fuçking year.

Don't take my word for it; go and check.

And finally, do you know the meaning of sacrifice at all, seeing as that is the point the OP is making?

You are missing one thing, maternal death is mostly due to poor health systems of individual countries

Do more research you will see that high maternal rates are from most poor countries

According to some google facts Nigeria is number 3


So what you think is a sacrifice is not, your fear is due to poor health system that puts women at risky

ZIMDRILL:
So what you think is a sacrifice is not, your fear is due to poor health system that puts women at risky

Are we discussing causes of deaths here? Are there not reasons why men die in other hard jobs, too? Are the figures not higher in developing countries than otherwise? Aside from preventable reasons, pregnancy also carries an inherent danger. And I just checked, even though working on an oil rig is inherently dangerous, too, its deaths are preventable! Yes, including gas explosions. Again, don't take my word for it. Feel free to confirm for yourself.

So at the end of the day, more women die from pregnancy complications, higher than for any other job(s) on earth. Mind you, high-income countries also record a staggering number of maternal deaths, but I am not going into that.


It is a sacrifice - deciding to do something that could result in life or death, inspite of any health care system, and being aware of that fact, is. It doesn't even matter, whether due to structural illiteracy or personal ignorance or social conformity is the reason why some women plunge headfirst into getting pregnant without not making sure their backs are well-covered, the fact of their act and its meaning/definition isn't changed.

Everytime you decide to travel, you're SACRIFICING your assured safety and comfort and putting your life in the hands of a driver, pilot or sailor, and trusting in their professional judgment. If you need to crosscheck between Macmillan, Collins, Oxford, Merriam-Webster and Cambridge dictionaries to understand the meaning of "sacrifice", still feel free to do so.

abbey621:
Yet the argument was never about it not being tangible...

That is the argument.

In fact, I only quoted you because you said that 'we' are reducing women to baby-making machines. And I said, 'no.' That was not the OP's point, and neither is it my point or anyone else supporting the OP (because I have read through the thread). Just acknowledge that if you and a woman decide to have babies, then getting pregnant and going through labour is a very tangible, important contribution she's 'bringing to the table.' And even if she doesn't bring anything materially, as most men expect, it is not a reason to cast such a woman as (being) useless. Breastfeeding and nurturing both of your child is a contribution to a relationship.

I am done here. You can have a good day.

ZIMDRILL:
So what you think is a sacrifice is not, your fear is due to poor health system that puts women at risky

This is an example of a sentence from the online Cambridge dictionary.

This is 'sacrifice' used to refer to a free time. It is not only a word used in a religious or ritualistic sense.

To give something in exchange for something else or to give up something for the sake of another (thing) is sacrificial.

Magnoliaa:


That is the argument.

In fact, I only quoted you because you said that 'we' are reducing women to baby-making machines. And I said, 'no.' That was not the OP's point, and neither is it my point or anyone else supporting the OP (because I have read through the thread). Just acknowledge that if you and a woman decide to have babies, then getting pregnant and going through labour is a very tangible, important contribution she's 'bringing to the table.' And even if she doesn't bring anything materially, as most men expect, it is not a reason to cast such a woman as (being) useless. Breastfeeding and nurturing both of your child is a contribution to a relationship.

I am done here. You can have a good day.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, pregnancy and childbirth is not something you bring to a marriage, it is a natural part of it, yes it presents certain dangers and sacrifices but it is still a normal part of marital expectations! This cannot be what you bring to a marriage and call it done and dusted! This is a disservice to all females out there and I will never agree to such train of thought especially since I have a daughter who INSHALLAH will be more than a baby making factory to her future husband......I REST MY CASE.....PEACE!

Magnoliaa:


Are we discussing causes of deaths here? Are there not reasons why men die in other hard jobs, too? Are the figures not higher in developing countries than otherwise? Aside from preventable reasons, pregnancy also carries an inherent danger. And I just checked, even though working on an oil rig is inherently dangerous, too, its deaths are preventable! Yes, including gas explosions. Again, don't take my word for it. Feel free to confirm for yourself.

So at the end of the day, more women die from pregnancy complications, higher than for any other job(s) on earth. Mind you, high-income countries also record a staggering number of maternal deaths, but I am not going into that.


It is a sacrifice - deciding to do something that could result in life or death, inspite of any health care system, and being aware of that fact, is. It doesn't even matter, whether due to structural illiteracy or personal ignorance or social conformity is the reason why some women plunge headfirst into getting pregnant without not making sure their backs are well-covered, the fact of their act and its meaning/definition isn't changed.

Everytime you decide to travel, you're SACRIFICING your assured safety and comfort and putting your life in the hands of a driver, pilot or sailor, and trusting in their professional judgment. If you need to crosscheck between Macmillan, Collins, Oxford, Merriam-Webster and Cambridge dictionaries to understand the meaning of "sacrifice", still feel free to do so.

you missed my point and failed to see that i was responding to someone, not directly to the thread


i was responding to someone who raised maternal death rates, which making some women think their are sacrificing themselve to give birth

Of which most people are saying, you cant not claim to sacrifice to have kids when you also want them