luminouz:

And how will they give her the kids if he can prove she is irresponsible?

You think the court would dash her the kids if she is perceived as a bad mother?

One is already with her the other two somewhere else and the man another place, if you can prove that but this her lawyer will claim she has repented

LadyRosa2:
Yes!
Of she gets a very good lawyer,especially those hot head human rights/family lawyers, she gets ALL the kids. You will have visitation rights and will be paying for their upkeep.

If I'm in her shoes, my lawyer would have handed me those kids since.

Don't fear or listen to this idiot

Qatar2022:

Don't fear or listen to this idiot

Your mother right?

achimendy:



Na the kind thing wey una like.


Rubbish.

Rubbish!

stagger:


Complete bullcrap.

Keep crying.

Op don't go spending money u don't ve in d court, cus she il win custody of d children, the children r not with u but relatives, she as their mother is in d best position to take care of them, as they are still minors. Best thing is sit with her make arrangements for how to send money for the children's upkeep, n ur visitation period, put it all in writing, she signs , u sign , her witness, ur witness, u ve a copy, she has a copy. if she goes contrary to the arrangements at any time, u can we'll take her to court.

Prospertochu:


A real mother doesn't abandoned her children no matter how hard the situations is. If she really cared she wouldn't have abandoned them in the first place. Her ashawo work in Lagos is not going well that's why she want all 3 children with her so she will be receiving a big sum of money from me every month for upkeep or else she won't be able to survive again in Lagos.

But you are the best daddy in the world, abi? You aren`t even able to take care of them by yourself, just dropped them with your mother. I hope she will drag your ass through courts and deal with you properly. You are not fit to be a father. I pity those kids.

Acidosis:
The current arrangement (i.e., split custody) appears OKAY, as long as your triplets are fraternal (i.e., non-identical). Separating non-identical twins is not a big deal, as they have absolutely NOTHING in common apart from the fact that they were born on the same day.

The fact that your ex-wife had previously abandoned those kids depicts gross irresponsibility. Also, the fact that you currently outsource your duty to your mother/sister, in fact, shows a higher level of irresponsibility. In an ideal society, neither of you deserves to have custody of the children.

Which split custody? The boys are deprived of their mother entirely, the girl of her father.

bold
Seriously?

Prospertochu:


A real mother doesn't abandoned her children no matter how hard the situations is. If she really cared she wouldn't have abandoned them in the first place. Her ashawo work in Lagos is not going well that's why she want all 3 children with her so she will be receiving a big sum of money from me every month for upkeep or else she won't be able to survive again in Lagos.

Never allow emotion to take over u. For d mother to abandon them shows whole lot about d woman
Before she does what she claim to do, make sure that u hv every evidence to backup in d court. E. G. Her ashawo work, her abandonment and anything that will make d court to start seen her as mother that's not capable of taken care of d kids

Beremx:
I hope she gets justice by getting custody of the kids. You don't have any choice, you must pay for their upkeep. Imagine calling the mother of your kids ashawo.
You're not okay

Dis bitch, u must be foolish to sound dis nonsense

Hathor5:


Which split custody? The boys are deprived of their mother entirely, the girl of her father.

bold
Seriously?

Yes. Split custody is the best approach in this case. However, both spouses should be granted access to meet the other kid(s). The mother should be able to visit her sons and the father should also be allowed to meet his daughter.

None is responsible enough to take care of three kids. One is probably jobless while the other can't even create time for his kids.

Bold? Of course. It's an unfortunate situation. As far as divorce is concerned, the kids will be separated one way or the other either from one another or either of the parents.

The court will grant her custody, if she proves she can be a part of the children's lives, not keeping them with someone else to look after.
You will be compelled to send money for their upkeep and school fees. I'm not sure alimony is being paid in Nigeria, if it is, you will pay her as well.
The only way you can win is, to make sure the boys are staying with you, and being properly cared for. You must also prove beyond reasonable doubt that she is unfit to have full custody, even at that, she will have supervised visits...

In my personal opinion, both of you should work out your differences and share custody. Don't let the kids suffer the consequences of your pettiness.(both of you).
Every child deserves the love and care of both parents.

Acidosis don de misyan lately

Hathor5:


Which split custody? The boys are deprived of their mother entirely, the girl of her father.

bold
Seriously?

@OP
For balanced development, let their mother care for them at this tender age. It's also in accordance with the law. Even if you both choose to remain separated, the law recognises the mother as the best carer for children under 7 years (lawyers can confirm). If you can afford to rent an apartment for your mum because of the kids, why didn't you consider doing the same for their mum so she can care for them? The kids will grow up to learn about their history. Don't let them blame/hate you for the lost years of relationship with their mother. You clearly love your mum which is good. Give them an opportunity to develop a relationship with theirs.

If she goes to the juvenile court, she's bound to win. Children need to grow up with their mum as long as she's sane and physically fit. Of course, you'll be granted access to your kids.

I hope she can afford to support you financially though. Without that, you may have to pay substantially for child support.

LadyRosa2:
Yes!
Of she gets a very good lawyer,especially those hot head human rights/family lawyers, she gets ALL the kids. You will have visitation rights and will be paying for their upkeep.

If I'm in her shoes, my lawyer would have handed me those kids since.

you lied, court don't judge by emotio, they work with facts, what type of mother are you? What Led to the separation? If the judge find out you have a very Bad character and attitude, the only girl with her will be withdrawn imidiately. I have thesame experience so I can tell you. Since the man is responsible, he will get the custody of all the kids.

So far as you are legally married to your ex wife you will not lose your children but the Court will grant her custody of the kids because their mom is the better position to take good care of them but you will be sending money for their upkeep and you have the right to be visiting them any time you want.
So please stop depriving those kids their motherly love and care
Allow her to take her kids, when they grow up at least 7 or 8 years they will come back to you

LadyRosa2:


Your mother right?

Oh e pain you? Next time don't comment with sentiment

ahnie:
Acidosis don de misyan lately

...because I chose legality and statutory laws over Igbo culture and emotions??

Let her go to court, they will grant her access but with stringent conditions, i have said time without number, if a woman leaves you because of your downtime believe me is a blessing coz your next breakthrough the world will hear it, If you have the money higher a police to and keep them in your house, when she visit, she will be escorted out of your house.

Acidosis:


...because I chose legality and statutory laws over Igbo culture and emotions??

What has that got to do with culture?
From page one, all those advocating the triplets should live together did not remember what tribe the man come from.

Everywhere in the world, the mother will be granted full custody in less than 1 hour. Father should be mandated to pay for the upkeep and has visitation right. Its about the kids primarily and yep, separation will affect them. Assuming they were separated at birth and never know one another, we can argue that but they have already bonded.
But of course, this is Nigeria.

Tomorrow, you will come here to preach anti tribalism when you are a covert champion.

Hathor5:


But you are the best daddy in the world, abi? You aren`t even able to take care of them by yourself, just dropped them with your mother. I hope she will drag your ass through courts and deal with you properly. You are not fit to be a father. I pity those kids.

Don't be surprised he is already living with one lady with a child on the way, yet he took his kids away from their mother cos they are separated.

Glad to see a post like this here because, here, they make it look like its only ex wives that punish their ex by turning the kids against them or running off with the kids.

descarado:

What has that got to do with culture?
From page one, all those advocating the triplets should live together did not remember what tribe the man come from.

Everywhere in the world, the mother will be granted full custody in less than 1 hour. Father should be mandated to pay for the upkeep and has visitation right. Its about the kids primarily and yep, separation will affect them. Assuming they were separated at birth and never know one another, we can argue that but they have already bonded.
But of course, this is Nigeria.

Tomorrow, you will come here to preach anti tribalism when you are a covert champion.

You could simply leave the comment for the woman I quoted. She knows exactly why I said that. Her comment and my response about Igbo culture has nothing to do with this thread.


If someone says you have been misyarning "lately", I bet they already have you mind because you refused to say what they like to hear.

Prospertochu:
My x wife and I share 3 children together ( 4 years old triplets 2 boys 1 girl). I live in another state due to the nature of my job.

The girl lives with her in Lagos and the boys are with my mother and sister in the village. I rented another apartment for them far away because I don't want my x or her family to come and kidnapped my boys the same way she kidnapped the girl .

My x wife and daughter are going to the village for xmas she want me to give her my mum adress so she can see the boys she said she bought plenty gifts for them .

I refused because the last time she visited she took all 3 children to her parents house only for her to kidnapped the girl leaving behind the boys.

I don't want her to kidnapped my boys and she has threatened to take me to court for custody she said the judge will grant her custody because the children are tender .

I told her to go ahead and report me anywhere she wants. I am scared to loose my boys. I love them so much they are my everything I won't bear to lose them.

My boys are only 4 years old is it true that the judge will grant her custody because they are tender ?


Edited 1 : https://www.nairaland.com/7112098/x-wife-demanding-me-more#112551530



Edited 2: https://www.nairaland.com/7436944/ex-wife-kidnapped-daughter#118450454

. Mostly igbo woman do this

Qatar2022:

Oh e pain you? Next time don't comment with sentiment

Pain me ke?
You're the one licking your wounds young man.

Acidosis:


Yes. Split custody is the best approach in this case. However, both spouses should be granted access to meet the other kid(s). The mother should be able to visit her sons and the father should also be allowed to meet his daughter.

None is responsible enough to take care of three kids. One is probably jobless while the other can't even create time for his kids.

Bold? Of course. It's an unfortunate situation. As far as divorce is concerned, the kids will be separated one way or the other either from one another or either of the parents.

There are ways to ensure that the siblings stay together and the parents both take care of the kids even in the case of a divorce, it`s called co-parenting. But with a selfish and narrow minded person like the OP it`s rather impossible. I have seen divorced couples who were mature enough to understand and ensure that the kids`well-being comes first.

ahnie:
Acidosis don de misyan lately

descarado:

Don't be surprised he is already living with one lady with a child on the way, yet he took his kids away from their mother cos they are separated.

I haven`t thought about it but I won`t be surprised.

Glad to see a post like this here because, here, they make it look like its only ex wives that punish their ex by turning the kids against them or running off with the kids.

His attitude is the reason why I think that it`s good that in some countries the kids get to stay with the mom though I have my reservations about it sometimes too. In most cases, mothers don`t outsource care to relatives.

Hathor5:


There are ways to ensure that the siblings stay together and the parents both take care of the kids even in the case of a divorce, it`s called co-parenting. But with a selfish and narrow minded person like the OP it`s rather impossible. I have seen divorced couples who were mature enough to understand and ensure that the kids`well-being comes first.

The problem is that OP's wife doesn't even have a house. She currently lives with her mother. I'm not sure she has a job either.

Acidosis:


The problem is that OP's wife doesn't even have a house. She currently lives with her mother. I'm not sure she has a job either.

The kids could probably live with her in the grandmother`s house. The fact that she wants the kids back means she can feed them and even if her money is not enough to feed them, OP has to step in and make sure the kids have food. Whatever solution they find, the kids need a mother and a father.

Prospertochu:
My x wife and I share 3 children together ( 4 years old triplets 2 boys 1 girl). I live in another state due to the nature of my job.

The girl lives with her in Lagos and the boys are with my mother and sister in the village. I rented another apartment for them far away because I don't want my x or her family to come and kidnapped my boys the same way she kidnapped the girl .

My x wife and daughter are going to the village for xmas she want me to give her my mum adress so she can see the boys she said she bought plenty gifts for them .

I refused because the last time she visited she took all 3 children to her parents house only for her to kidnapped the girl leaving behind the boys.

I don't want her to kidnapped my boys and she has threatened to take me to court for custody she said the judge will grant her custody because the children are tender .

I told her to go ahead and report me anywhere she wants. I am scared to loose my boys. I love them so much they are my everything I won't bear to lose them.

My boys are only 4 years old is it true that the judge will grant her custody because they are tender ?


Edited 1 : https://www.nairaland.com/7112098/x-wife-demanding-me-more#112551530



Edited 2: https://www.nairaland.com/7436944/ex-wife-kidnapped-daughter#118450454

if you no get good lawyer she go collect the kids and you go still dey pay or their upkeep

Acidosis:


You could simply leave the comment for the woman I quoted. She knows exactly why I said that. Her comment and my response about Igbo culture has nothing to do with this thread.


If someone says you have been misyarning "lately", I bet they already have you mind because you refused to say what they like to hear.

Well, I didn't know that and was surprised that's why I commented.
Sorry about that.
You guys should make up.

Wotoporiously speaking

See as parents dey play tinko with their kids life all in the name of custody battle and co, if I were to be those kids I will grow up hating the both of you and never to forgive for giving me such a traumatic childhood.

I hate it when two adult cannot put heads together to give their kids a good living condition irrespective of their differences.

Na man you be, you need to register to some sense into that your ex wife and yours