Hi nairalanders, this is my 9th month in a relationship with this lady. In the early month of our relationship, she would tell me of how she had a near-rape experience in her childhood and how she doesn't care for, or see any need for sex in a relationship or even in marriage. I really do love her and she really loves me likewise. I felt her disinterest in sex was something we could really talk about and work on but honestly, things are becoming more realistic than I thought. She only enjoys cuddle & perhaps a peck then she's absolutely satisfied. She doesn't feel any need or urge for sex, even if we try to, she'd end up feeling pained & having no enjoyment in it. Each time we talk about it, she would assure and beg me to please wait till she's fully comfortable with having sex. She would tell me all she needs is time & she may later end up being sex-positive. I am willing to wait till she's ready & absolutely comfortable with it but I just feel I may be innocently making a decision that would frustrate me later in marriage. Please,note, I really love her, I look forward to getting married to her & I'm a monogamous (I do not even want to welcome the idea of two wives). Please, I would appreciate if you've experienced ladies like this and how you resolved it. All pieces of serious comments are appreciated.

If this is how the journey starts, what happens after 15-20 years. Completely ignore your needs ? You better threathen her woth breakup, keep a distance and tell her to go think her life. Then speak with whomever has her ear. You cant out of love die so she should live,she will mar4y someoñe else. I am not saying committ sexual acts or premarital sex and lust like you are alr3ady planning. No

She needs to understand thàt adults have sexual relations in marriage and that her partner would have sexual needs she has to work towards fulfilling


Most importantly, any sex outsode.of.marriage is a sin.

extrovertAishat:
Hi nairalanders, this is my 9th month in a relationship with this lady. In the early month of our relationship, she would tell me of how she had a near-rape experience in her childhood and how she doesn't care for, or see any need for sex in a relationship or even in marriage. I really do love her and she really loves me likewise. I felt her disinterest in sex was something we could really talk about and work on but honestly, things are becoming more realistic than I thought. She only enjoys cuddle & perhaps a peck then she's absolutely satisfied. She doesn't feel any need or urge for sex, even if we try to, she'd end up feeling pained & having no enjoyment in it. Each time we talk about it, she would assure and beg me to please wait till she's fully comfortable with having sex. She would tell me all she needs is time & she may later end up being sex-positive. I am willing to wait till she's ready & absolutely comfortable with it but I just feel I may be innocently making a decision that would frustrate me later in marriage. Please,note, I really love her, I look forward to getting married to her & I'm a monogamous (I do not even want to welcome the idea of two wives). Please, I would appreciate if you've experienced ladies like this and how you resolved it. All pieces of serious comments are appreciated.

the MAN below don give u the best. jus bring down the TOPIC, anything outside him talk ... is misleading u, na why i no advise u again bt reiterate wetin him yarn u to ur HEaring.. he who has EARS let him HEAR or forever remain silent in his tomb 6' below ground level where u no fit speak even if u want to

Following... Please, more comments are welcome

It's like this a relationship without a kid know it will be worse when a kid is involved

Is it that she doesn't enjoy sex or she feel pain during sex

She doesn't enjoy or feel anything. I mean, no sexual feeling at all

ikeno:
Is it that she doesn't enjoy sex or she feel pain during sex

She doesn't enjoy or feel anything. I mean, no sexual feeling at all

This is a classical case of what can be described as irreconcilable differences. You want sex, she doesn't, and for this basic reason, such a relationship should not hold. Your patience is irrelevant, and after marriage, it won't change.

Stop punishing yourself. Move on.

This will definitely continue after marriage. Let her go.

List of what might be wrong
1. She was circumcised
2. She has extreme low libido
3. She doesn't love you i'e no feelings for you.

And op avoid pre marital sex please.

First of all almost all Nigerian girls have rape stories, secondly I assure you that barney is sexually active, she's just not sexually active with you, and she's seen you're a sissy that's why she taking advantage, if she's asexual let her go because it's obvious you need some pussy in your life

ElliotP:
First of all almost all Nigerian girls have rape stories, secondly I assure you that barney is sexually active, she's just not sexually active with you, and she's seen you're a sissy that's why she taking advantage, if she's asexual let her go because it's obvious you need some pussy in your life

Unfortunately @OP, this is it. When you said "wait" I thought you meant like a few weeks (which is already a sign that she's not sexually attracted to you) but you seem to be waiting till marriage.

Your mention of 'love' makes it more likely that she's seeing you like one soft guy. She is a woman, and there are men she's attracted to - would she honestly just lay down like a plank of wood with those men?

Even if the disdain of sex due to trauma is true, why would you willingly plan to marry someone with unresolved trauma? Don't let love trap you between a rock and a hard place.

Youngman better leave yeye relationship before I swear for you