| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by jude2016: 2:04pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Please carry your cross first before thinking of another person's cross! I am talking from experience, I did same, today they are all mocking me that they are better than me. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Olaolex: 2:06pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Please sponsor him through HND 2. He needs you support sir. It won't be good if he drops out of school too. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by juniorjoe(m): 2:06pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
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| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by femi4: 2:08pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Obey the principle of saving and you ll be free from guilt. Always pay yourself first, then you can divide the rest at your discretion. If you don't pay yourself from every of your income, you n your dreams will suffer. Family problems no dey finish, do your best n rest 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by VinnyBaba: 2:08pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
According to Apostle Johnson Suleiman, before you Help Pple financially, Make sure your '2 Legs' are Strong enough.   OP, just use your Sense.  But for me, Kukuma finish what you have started. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by inforesource: 2:11pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Pursue your dream, go ahead and pay for your school and further your education after that see how both of you can settle the rent. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Myer(m): 2:13pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Your brother has completed HND 1 and hasn't started earning money for himself? Even in this Social Media age? What's the guarantee that he'll start making any money after his HND 2? You have a large heart. But I fear you are loving others more than yourself. The bible says love your neighbor as yourself not more than yourself. I believe it comes down to one question really. Ask yourself, who is more beneficial to go to school now between you and your brother? God bless you. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by jaxxy(m): 2:13pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? School is very important bt it doesn't determine success especially if u don't know what to do with it or know how to actualize ur goals and growth. Since ur brother is about to finish help him since he has no alternative and u are the one working now. U can save afterwards and go back for urs once he's done. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Oluwatobiloba07: 2:13pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Though this my personal advice to you Taking yourself as priority is the best gift you can give yourself, thinking about your personal goals and career first doesn't makes you selfish, it just make you the best version of yourself. Think about your future, someone that haven't sit down don't lap people in a busWe humans tend to forget sacrifice only few remember your effort. And note that you can't help anyone, only God can. If you don't make it, they'll still make mockery of you Shalom Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by immortalcrown(m): 2:18pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
DeepSight:
This shows you know little about life. The next 24 hours can change destiny not to speak of the next two years. The change you talk about here, if negative, can only be death or a sickness that will mobilize the OP. And if this is your thought and it is bound to happen, he leaving the brother now will not save him. Don't be a negative thinker in a case like this. |
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| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by maak400: 2:24pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Gboyegasad:
Nop, you don't need to How much is core i3? |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by leesi11(m): 2:26pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Instead of wasting further time in one god forsaken Nigerian school where your jamb registra has told you not to only depend on your certificate.
Look out for tech courses or better yet animation and cgi courses you could apply for and learn remotely.
Think futuristic and stop looking towards all them bsc and hand certs that can't guarantee you a 40k a month job.
[quote author=Yemike post=127670350]
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by musicwriter(m): 2:26pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Are you older than them? Explain everything you said here to them, then chart your personal life course and develop yourself, else you would end up neither developing yourself nor them. Explain everything to them and they'll chart their own course too because whether you help them or not, in future they'll all deny that you helped them. When things went sour for me, my brothers who used to live with me in my house and whom I quit my own education to help, all denied that I helped them in the past. In fact, the more help you give them now, the more they'll say you didn't help them if things happen to go sour for you in future. By the way, nothing stops you from finishing your education at NOUN online university if you need a degree/certification. Or pick up a branch of knowledge of your choice and study if without seeking a degree. If you like this choice, go to google and search "US universities that offer free online courses" and you'll find many schools and programs. The only difference between you and those that paid for the program is that you'll get the knowledge but not the degree. I am speaking from experience. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by toprealman: 2:27pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? If you are struggling, let him work a bit with his OND and start off on his own. Don’t make him become entitled. You have done a lot already. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by leesi11(m): 2:27pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Instead of wasting further time in one god forsaken Nigerian school where your jamb registra has told you not to only depend on your certificate. Look out for tech courses or better yet animation and cgi courses you could apply for and learn remotely. Think futuristic and stop looking towards all them bsc and hand certs that can't guarantee you a 40k a month job. Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Amarisa(f): 2:30pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Proudlyngwa:
I definitely will be more selfish, self-centred and so called wicked this coming year.
What I won't be is rude, arrogant or covert another man's property.
So help them Lord. Mazi! 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by rhythyson: 2:33pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
immortalcrown:
Finish what you started in your brother's life. Don't get him stranded. You have gone too far to quit. Sponsor his HND. Even if he is ungrateful, complete the sacrifice and let the gods take the blame.
Delay is better than prevention. Sponsoring him for more two years will delay but cannot prevent your own success. But stopping halfway means near success syndrome for both of you. The only reason I will advise you to leave him halfway is if he is wasting the academic opportunity. Make sure you see his OND results or even the certificate to confirm he actually used the first opportunity well before you further sponsor his HND. His CGPA must not be so high but the results should at least show that he attended lectures and sat for exams.
You sponsoring your brother for more two years will not make it impossible for you to further your own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years, it is more two years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for you and does not prevent your own academic journey. But you leaving the brother now might cause you a serious regret in future. Weigh the scenarios and choose the one with the least consequences. Consider the long-term effects of your decisions, don't consider only the immediate effects. Thanks. May the good Lord bless you for this. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by JuanDeDios: 2:33pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? I can relate. Trust me, I've been there. Fact is, if you leave your brother in the lurch, it may weigh on your mind for a long time. But, then, you know your circumstances and relationships better than anyone. So think well about it and good luck whatever you decide. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by FertilityH: 2:36pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? I hope they won't ask you to marry for them that they are done with school... I personally hate cheating in as much I don't want to cheat people I lost my Dad immediately I left camp I redeployed to another state more closer to home because of my mom and There I was discussing about my new place and my cousin told me my older cousin stays around that particular area and that feeding shouldn't be my prob lol not knowing I was going to feed Her, her children, grandchildren and church members with 19800. Nobody told me before I stayed away and they started calling different fam members to complain about me(People that doesn't even know I exist Abi say I go school).. You, Your children, your grandchildren, church members will wake and just sit waiting for people to bring problem before you guys will eat (You never old, Your children are old enough to do 1 or 2 things to make money, Your grandchildren too and grown up adult men and women some with children self) Initially I was giving oo, they now turned it to daily job on top Allawee Her grandchild felt sick one day, they started calling me make I dey come hospital say them need plenty money Toor... May God have mercy on us all shaa Ontop 19800 I don't give people preference over myself anyway 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by TheWinterBird(f): 2:59pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Acidosis:
Oh, he's the same guy? The last time I called out his parents for their wickedness, he and others came for my head.
I don't know how to massage people's ego, so I guess having the words 'wicked' and 'parent' in the same sentence triggered people's emotions, but that is what it is. His parents did not only leave behind three SS kids; they failed at their utmost responsibility, transferred major liabilities to him (the firstborn), and are probably only waiting to "eat the fruit of their labour" as always.
He is only 27, but his justification is that his parents are old. By the age of 50 or 60, a man should be fulfilling his purpose, not waiting for the "fruits of labour." How can his parents be considered too old when their first child is only 27 years old? Even if they married late, it still does not justify anything. Marrying late should be a reason to have fewer children, perhaps one or two.
Never seen a thing like this in my life tbh. To break this cycle of black tax, OP needs to call out his parents and get them to be responsible. There is little his siblings can do given their health challenges. Get your parents to live up to their responsibilities. It is as simple as that.
He's the same guy. Yes, I saw your reply on the other thread and you're absolutely right. The black tax idealogy is meant for family members who are doing well financially, not a poor, struggling one. There's no reason why a family member whose life has been stagnant for years should continue taking up the financial responsibilities of the rest of his family, when no be him born them, when he has tried, when his siblings after him and parents are capable of working and helping themselves. Yes, you're right - his parents are probably not that old (they might be in their 50s or 60s). If he's the oldest at 27 and there're 5 kids, then the youngest must be a teenager (meaning it wasn't long ago that they had this last born). So they just kept borning kids knowing they're both AS only to dump the responsibilities on the oldest. I'm sure they wouldn't mind borning another yet again, if they could. That is the height of irresponsibility and selfishness. It's time for him to be selfish too. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by MrBroke(m): 3:00pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
No, be selling meat  |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Raymeg7(m): 3:12pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? brother there is joy in helping people, mostly ur siblings, one thing u must do is to sit him down, and let him know the sacrifice u are making for him and the family, is very important, 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by DeepSight(m): 3:16pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
immortalcrown:
The change you talk about here, if negative, can only be death or a sickness that will mobilize the OP. And if this is your thought and it is bound to happen, he leaving the brother now will not save him. Don't be a negative thinker in a case like this. I had no such thoughts as these. Life is just unpredictable. Any change can occur at anytime. Two years is enough space to turn a life around positively or negatively, if even one day is. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by gidjah(m): 3:17pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
God will help you some way some how.Try round up your brothers school ,it's just a year or less prog. But which house are u renting for him o ?can't he squat or live in d school hostel because of your fin capacity?he will soon be through ,you can always return to school after wards and see HEAVENS coming ON FOR U MIGHTILY. WHAT GOD CAN NOT SO DOES NOT EXIST BRO. |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Acidosis(m): 3:24pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
TheWinterBird:
He's the same guy. Yes, I saw your reply in the other thread and you're absolutely right.
The black tax idealogy is meant for family members who are doing well financially, not a poor, struggling one. There's no reason why a family member whose life has been stagnant for years should continue taking up the financial responsibilities of the rest of his family, when no be him born them, when he has tried, when his siblings after him and parents are capable of working and helping themselves. Yes, you're right - his parents are probably not that old. If he's the oldest at 27 and there're 5 kids, then the youngest must be a teenager (meaning it wasn't long ago that they had this last born). So they just kept borning kids knowing they're both AS only to dump the responsibilities on the oldest. I'm sure they wouldn't mind borning another yet again, if they could. That is the height of irresponsibility and selfishness. It's time for him to be selfish too.
Accurate. Well said 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by smartduru807: 3:35pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
School, school, everybody school,am a university dropout but am doing well in business, teach your siblings business and you too engage in business and make plenty money and then go back to school, don't put yourself in an unnecessary stresss!! 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by pansophist(m): 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
This is not a situation of being selfish, but not sacrificing your own growth for others, especially when the others can help themselves.
I believe your younger brother is over 18, so what's stopping him from getting a job part-time and helping himself? If you drop dead today, does that mean he will die as well and won't seat up?
I don't wish you dead, but life is brutal. Go to hospital and see corpse trooping in every minutes, if you told them they will die today, they will fight you. Such is life.
Stop sponsoring, they ain't kids. If they can't help themselves, why care? I'm not saying you shouldn't help, but the helping by it every nature should not be continuous, and must not encourage laziness.
And you know what? If you don't stop now, twenty years later, it will mostly continue like this. Dependants usually do not voluntarily leave a fruitful host. You'll have to put a stop before they seat up, otherwise, you just choose to suffer permanently. 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by seguno2: 3:48pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.
I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.
Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross? Yes, you should be more selfish. For example, why can’t your brother do legit hustle for his own rent and school fees like you are doing to get back to university and complete your own studies  |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by HartetarLee001: 3:56pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
LooneyLester:
Why waste money going to a forking useless school
People way graduate from prestigious uni never see jobs
Shey suffer no day tire you
Be selfish and use that money to better your life in other ways
Go and take online classes, learn new things
If you can , buy a laptop and learn how to code I really hate people thinking going to school is the only way to make it…… Bro try online stuffs money they there 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Caspry5: 4:30pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
garriAndsugar:
Your siblings should learn skills while you also try your best to support them |
| Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by EvangelistChuks(m): 4:49pm On Dec 29, 2023 |
We are celebrating the birth of the One that SACRIFICED His Position,Office,Status and Life in other to save us from God’s wrath and eternal condemnation.Be like Jesus in life and actions. |
