asid:


What's the amount needed?

Ha bros. It's roughly above 100k that's why I'm troubled.
My brother's fees and rent is 200k. My potential school fees and admission processing is around 150k. I have 100k and I know I will be able to push it to 150k next month which will be sufficient for me.

Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

I sacrificed my youth for family. Sponsored one outside the country and another through school (not fully though) gave all my salaries to elder sister for months so she could further her education. I sacrificed all my savings for entire family so we could be the envy of other families. I later secured admission to Unilorin years later, same sister called me bastard when I begged for N5000 loan so I could sustain myself till after exams.

I wish I hadn't remembered we were family

I wish I were as wise as I am now.

Those same siblings today are my strangers far as I'm concerned. They don't even know whether I live or dead. They don't care.

Sacrificing for family is good but, never at the expense of your life goals, dreams and ambition. They would only respect you for what you make of yourself and never for what you do for them.

Far as this topic goes, the choice is yours

occfx:


There is need to be selfish... But do what you can to help siblings and also help yourself. Join the people that needs help.

To get help during this period is quite hard, I just joined a cooperative society, after some month I'll be able to solicit for help.

IamMobisola:

I know. Like I said let your younger bro get a job now because Na still work e go find when he finishes his HND 2. Let him look for work now and save money for his HND2

Thank you very much for your advice I really appreciate it. He's currently learning programming/coding which I really like.

immortalcrown:
He sponsoring his brother for more two years will not make it impossible for him to further his own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for him and does not prevent his own academic journey. But he leaving the brother now might cause him a serious regret in future.

Oga shut up, most of u are lastborns u don't really understand sup... A factory worker suffering to sponsor his old enough, able bodied brother to school, that's pure stupidity bro... Look no matter how u see it yourself, your future is more important than any body's future, your life is your major responsibility ur only obligation is to ur children.... What happened to the so called hnd brother, y can't he find a factory work to sponsor himself too....

Vello:

I sacrificed my youth for family. Sponsored one outside the country and another through school (not fully though) gave all my salaries to elder sister for months so she could further her education. I sacrificed all my savings for entire family so we could be the envy of other families. I later secured admission to Unilorin years later, same sister called me bastard when I begged for N5000 loan so I could sustain myself till after exams.

I wish I hadn't remembered we were family

I wish I were as wise as I am now.

Those same siblings today are my strangers far as I'm concerned. They don't even know whether I live or dead. They don't care.

Sacrificing for family is good but, never at the expense of your life goals, dreams and ambition. They would only respect you for what you make of yourself and never for what you do for them.

Far as this topic goes, the choice is yours

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, it gives more room for thinking. I really appreciate it.

God will surely crown your efforts. Thanks.

Ashawoman82:
Oga shut up, most of u are lastborns u don't really understand sup... A factory worker suffering to sponsor his old enough, able bodied brother to school, that's pure stupidity bro... Look no matter how u see it yourself, your future is more important than any body's future, your life is your major responsibility ur only obligation is to ur children.... What happened to the so called hnd brother, y can't he find a factory work to sponsor himself too....

Your major obligation is to your kid or kids. Not even wife

Whenever a man wants to marry in this period you need to find a woman that is doing something with her life. There’s no space and time for liability again. Nigeria is already too hard

Don’t breed poverty like your parents did.

Imagine a son replacing a father just because he’s first born. Just terrible.

Ashawoman82:
Oga shut up, most of u are lastborns u don't really understand sup... A factory worker suffering to sponsor his old enough, able bodied brother to school, that's pure stupidity bro... Look no matter how u see it yourself, your future is more important than any body's future, your life is your major responsibility ur only obligation is to ur children.... What happened to the so called hnd brother, y can't he find a factory work to sponsor himself too....

Tell this to your adult son if he gets financial help from your another adult son that works in a factory or from your brother that works in a factory.

Nasri100:


Your major obligation is to your kid or kids. Not even wife

Whenever a man wants to marry in this period you need to find a woman that is doing something with her life. There’s no space and time for liability again. Nigeria is already too hard

Don’t breed poverty like your parents did.

Imagine a son replacing a father just because he’s first born. Just terrible.

I'm. Very aware bro.

immortalcrown:
Tell this to your adult son if he gets financial help from your another adult son that works in a factory or from your brother that works in a factory.

Oga keep quiet, there's a difference between struggling and being comfortable not necessarily rich, dude how do u want a struggling dude to prosper when he can't save, he can't diversitfy his income or he can't even develop himself, rather he will use his little resources that isn't enough for him to for black tax, how do u want such person to ever be successful in today's world...

Ashawoman82:
Oga keep quiet, there's a difference between struggling and being comfortable not necessarily rich, dude how do u want a struggling dude to prosper when he can't save, he can't diversitfy his income or he can't even develop himself, rather he will use his little resources that isn't enough for him to for black tax, how do u want such person to ever be successful in today's world...

Tell this to your adult son if he gets financial help from your another adult son that works in a factory or from your brother that works in a factory.

Self-development is selfish
You have to be selfish!

immortalcrown:
Tell this to your adult son if he gets financial help from your another adult son that works in a factory or from your brother that works in a factory.

you are not even making sense here... Wtf

Ashawoman82:
you are not even making sense here... Wtf

A and B were born poor. A begins to make money by stressing himself as a factory worker. B does not join in the factory work. A decides to willingly use his own sweat in the factory to empower B in something less stressful and more beneficial.

How is it a taboo for B to accept the empowerment? Or, how is it a taboo for A to willingly give B the empowerment? Answer this question or continue to make noise.

Follow the advice of immortal crown (the first commenter), your siblings will always respect you.

I am in similar situation like yours OP, only difference is that none of my younger ones are in tertiary institution and you are making a mistake by not engaging then in something to earn them money now or in future.

I work in a factory too and I take care of all the major expenses in the family, we relied on our parents and we were almost heading back to the village very hungry, I had to step up like you are doing now.

I enrolled my younger ones in handicrafts which they go to learn after school and the 16 year old is already getting small changes too from the tailoring he's learning, I patronize him too but na small money I dae pay 😂.

I did these things because I can't bear the burden forever and I hope to move out and start my own family in few years time after I graduate from Uni.

Mind you, I build myself too oh because I can't sacrifice my dreams because of anyone, I only delayed some.

Mom007:
You already dropped out so you know how it feels. Do you want your siblings to join the dropout crew? If its a curse on your family, do your best to break it. I wish you all the best and may your siblings not turn out to be ingrate in Jesus name.

is there something like family curse on a family that no one should graduate in that family.
I rarely believe in superstition but I kinda experiencing it and I feel it's not normal

oyeb15:
Help your brother. Even if he doesn't reward you, grace will be on you and your children for ever.

That grace can bring an unimaginable helper that will change your life forever.

We that go university, get 2:1 ,we no see am use do good job ever since.

Moreover, when time is right for you to go school, go to Polytechnic not university. I would have been a Manager in GTB today if I had attended poly.

And time dey go real fast

Acidosis:

Go to YouTube, search "Black Tax by Apostle Femi Lazarus." Listen to the message and thank me later.

Some people would never break the cycle of poverty plaguing their generation if they are not careful.

Unityp:
What will you say is your achievement in the life of others when you eventually leave this world if your brother who is looking up to you to finish his programme that you helped him to start is left stranded in his final year?
Pls finish what you have started and leave your reward in the hand of God.

This really cracked me up!

I have never seen a case of a human loving others more than himself/herself end well.

immortalcrown:
A and B were born poor. A begins to make money by stressing himself as a factory worker. B does not join in the factory work. A decides to willingly use his own sweat in the factory to empower B in something less stressful and more beneficial.

How is it a taboo for B to accept the empowerment? Or, how is it a taboo for A to willingly give B the empowerment? Answer this question or continue to make noise.

why can't B also find a factory work to empower himself, it's not like A is making money, A is just struggling to survive... Why can't A Build himself to. A level of comfort then comfortable aid B...remember B ain't a kid too... A has his own life to live.

Ashawoman82:
why can't B also find a factory work to empower himself, it's not like A is making money, A is just struggling to survive... Why can't A Build himself to. A level of comfort then comfortable aid B...remember B ain't a kid too... A has his own life to live.

Answer my question first.

You have to focus on yourself. Help in the little way you can but don’t jeopardize your own life for anyone even your sibling. I’m taking from experience. The bastard I was helping through school couldn’t even come out in school was busy spending the weekend I’m elegushi while I was wasting my life doing menial jobs. He did all is best to convince me not to enroll for partime so I could continue funding him. Use ur head

What about your parents? I mean the boy's parents?

Nasri100:


Your major obligation is to your kid or kids. Not even wife

Whenever a man wants to marry in this period you need to find a woman that is doing something with her life. There’s no space and time for liability again. Nigeria is already too hard

Don’t breed poverty like your parents did.

Imagine a son replacing a father just because he’s first born. Just terrible.

stop passing wrong information all in the name of being woke. Your wife is also your obligation. She can only support the family no matter how little


you better go and adopt so you don't have any business with marriage even men takes care of their baby mama that isn't their wives

Vello:

I sacrificed my youth for family. Sponsored one outside the country and another through school (not fully though) gave all my salaries to elder sister for months so she could further her education. I sacrificed all my savings for entire family so we could be the envy of other families. I later secured admission to Unilorin years later, same sister called me bastard when I begged for N5000 loan so I could sustain myself till after exams.

I wish I hadn't remembered we were family

I wish I were as wise as I am now.

Those same siblings today are my strangers far as I'm concerned. They don't even know whether I live or dead. They don't care.

Sacrificing for family is good but, never at the expense of your life goals, dreams and ambition. They would only respect you for what you make of yourself and never for what you do for them.

Far as this topic goes, the choice is yours

@emboldened is 👌👌👌 That statement should be printed on a large billboard, so all emergency parents (aka firstborns) can read and take a daily dose.

Connected1:
Follow the advice of immortal crown (the first commenter), your siblings will always respect you.

Nobody will respect you because of what you did some 25 years ago. If your life turns out bad because you spent your youthful days trying to lift others, be rest assured that the people you "lifted" will someday become tired of your excesses. More often than not, they'll ignore you and your calls.

People (siblings inclusive) will only respect what you make of your life and career, not the school fees you paid 35 years ago.

Just make sure you don't become poor or a liability in the process, else...!

Acidosis:



Nobody will respect you because of what you did some 25 years ago. If your life turn out bad because you spent your youthful days trying to lift others, be rest assured that the people you "lifted" will someday become tired of your excesses. More often than not, they'll ignore you and your calls.

People (siblings inclusive) will only respect what you make of your life and career, not the school fees you paid 35 years ago.

Just make sure you don't become poor or a liability in the process, else...!

Oh Shut up please and read the rest of my post and delete this nonsense.

This is Wickedness

Foodqueen:
Be selfish

robinso01:
Don't be selfish . Your brother only has one year left ,help him to finish and you can start your own school when he's done .

What if he's ungrateful and tells him something stupid afterwards, to the effect that he's not smart and couldn't plan his life, so that he ends up regretting helping him with the sacrifice and curses him?

A lot of people are stupid ingrates without a conscience.

He should do what will not cripple him, if he must.

UnfairLife7:
stop passing wrong information all in the name of being woke. Your wife is also your obligation. She can only support the family no matter how little


you better go and adopt so you don't have any business with marriage even men takes care of their baby mama that isn't their wives

Que Sera, Sera, cry today, cry tomorrow, cry forever.

This is the mentality that has kept Nigeria a second poverty capital of the world.

No wonder Men continue to die early due to stress.

What useless obligation to someone who isn’t even your relative?

Your wife is a partner who you work together with to build a family. She also works hard to pay bills just like it’s done in the first world countries.

If you like go and have kids with a trophy wife, it’s you who would work and slave and still be under appreciated and still being cheated on and manipulated.

That’s you and your cup of tea.

Nasri100:


Que Sera, Sera, cry today, cry tomorrow, cry forever.

This is the mentality that has kept Nigeria a second poverty capital of the world.

No wonder Men continue to die early due to stress.

What useless obligation to someone who isn’t even your relative?

Your wife is a partner who you work together with to build a family. She also works hard to pay bills just like it’s done in the first world countries.

If you like go and have kids with a trophy wife, it’s you who would work and slave and still be under appreciated and still being cheated on and manipulated.

That’s you and your cup of tea.

You want a first world woman, but are you a first world husband ready to do what first world men do? Or you are in the 3rd world and hungering after the financial status of 3rd world women fantasizing how you will eat their money up?

Men frequently die before women because they are older than them. How many men marry women 10-30 years older than them? It's simple natural arithmetic. Something the logical ones never seem to get.