U both need each other
She needs ur money
U need her visits

U guys shd talk it out

🦆

Ememmmi:

Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

You are a good person and God has given you a kind heart like his, don't let the actions of others deter you in your benevolence, your reward is not from them, even if they wanted to, they couldn't reward you enough.

Go ahead and send the money with a free heart and God will reward you. 1Pet.3.9 - says not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

In sending the money, you are returning blessing for "evil" and in so doing obeying the word of God.







I am still a proud Nigerian preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to all. Stay away from sin and read your bible today to know God more.

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Go ahead and give to her but educate her about how life should be. It's not just about you but for a learning in life. Talk to her with love not with pain or anger that she could learn. However some people don't learn or take correction and if it comes to that with time don't help anymore because you should help those who will appreciate you.

Sho na by force to come yuur house


All these afônjas sef

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claims she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Is she aware that you have had a baby? If she is aware, tell her how displeased you are that she didn't visit you.

Do what makes you happy 😊, life is not that hard. If it's possible that you need to correct her do it. Just stay happy with how you live your life is what matters.

Happy new year in advance to everyone.

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Firstly, I wish to commend your kind heartedness which is not too common in Nigeria especially in difficult times like this. Next, I will like to advice you to give the money to her but after bluntly telling her she bleeped up! Don't fail to tell her what she did is wrong and you found it offensive. Kindness to widows is a virtue which never goes without a blessing. May God reward you abundantly.

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

My dear, if you can help just help. If you feel bad about her not checking up on you guys, use maturity and ask her why?. Mama, did I offend you? Since I gave birth till now everybody has come to see baby and wish us well but we haven't seen you. Is it something I did? Then hear her reason for not visiting baby and you.
Based on her response you can then decide to withdraw your assistance or overlook her fault and continue your good for sake of your late uncle

By the time she starts coming to your house everyday, na you go Taya

Kingosytex:


You never hear say giver lack, receiver begin gossip say giver no plan him life well 😅

I never hear ooo

Na you dey hear that kind thing 😂


The Christmas gift she'll give this person in this context won't make her broke! So, why not

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Overlook her shortcomings and give her the money. But tell her that you have issues with your bank, so transfers are not going through. Tell her to come to your house to collect cash. Then when she comes, tell her your mind politely. Let her know that what she is doing is very wrong and selfish. Let her realize her error. Then give her the money. You are doing it for God and your children, not her. But still, let her know that you also need love from her. She shouldnt also depend too much on you for her upkeep. Her entitlement mentality is terrible. Let her talk to you about what she can be doing to get money for herself and her children without always coming to you for money. You're not an atm machine. You also have your responsibilities to cater for.

Congratulations on the arrival of your baby. God bless her/him.

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Give her the money, but don't hide your feeling from her. Tell her your mind so that she will know and not do it next time.

When it is within your power to help the weak, do it. Don't look at their shortcomings.

If you only give to people on the ground of what they do or didn't do, that is transactional giving.

madridguy:
Kindly overlook her character and give her the money.
Meanwhile, Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy.

Stupid comment. Overlook her character? Nigerians and their brains

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Reduce the money you want to give her by half

Do you care about your uncle pickin in the University?
That's family

Na every nonsense person go fey read on this forum. Let seun come back from exile and do something fast about this nonsense making front page on nairaland

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

1. Talk to her and tell her you don't like what she did. At best, she might have a genuine excuse. At worse, she might give an flimsy/immature excuse/answer.

2. This could be an opportunity for you to talk to her and help her fix her bad character (if she actually has any). Many people are nonchalant, they take things too lightly even when they shouldn't. Hopefully, she'll improve when you talk to her. I've noticed that people revere and listen to their helper.

3. Even if she turns out to be unfixable. Please don't stop helping her. Continue helping her but keep admonishing and reminder her. Hopefully, she'll change someday. After all, that bad character didn't develop in a day so it will be difficult to help/make her leave it in a day.

Well done sir/ma,

Don't let her character dictate your reaction to her. Give her as God bless you. Just let her know your grievances. She might not count it as something bad.

But at first instance, do you inform her of your giving birth? Because Sometimes we can't hold an offence without candid reason. Just do it for God sake. She's not the one that will reward you. Thanks for understanding.

When next she call tell her your mind that you weren't happy with her for not visited you when you gave birth.Then give her what you can

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

you have committed yourself with that promise so give her something then during the course of your discussion when she calls to say thank you, bring up the topic of her not coming to see you when you gave birth. She'll likely bring up the excuse of not having any baby gifts that's why she didn't come since (dumb excuse but most likely) of which you'll say her presence was all that matters. Going forward, be careful who you share your one naira with, many takers are very interested people and can get diabolical the moment you stop giving them freebies. Shalom

Righteousness2:
You can give her the cash but tell her that you are not happy that she could not come to visit you after your birth. Make sure you tell her your grievance.

@madridguy: Learn from Righteousness and stop commenting rubbish

i'm glad you cleared her

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

Dont give her shingbain!
Such people are called leeches. They dont care about you. Infact if people want to hurt you, they will join them.
Cut her off for good, but do it diplomatically. Once you stop giving her money she enter phase 2: which is to pretend to like you and show care.

Op, pls give her for the sake of the blessings you'll get for your kindness to a widow, but make sure you let her know you are not happy she hasn't come to visit your new baby. Haba, how much is #500 that she can't spare to come and see the newborn?

I am experiencing something similar, though in my own case we relocated to a new environment last year close to where my husband's elder brother lives. D distance between our houses is trekkable if you have the strength but u can enter Bike #100. Last year Dec, we visited them with our kids and I also visited again after that but up till now more than a year, the wife has not visited us, the husband visited once. I av decided to remain in my house abeg, love is not by force. I don't know maybe because she is far older than me, I must always do the visiting

madridguy:
Kindly overlook her character and give her the money.
Meanwhile, Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy.

dokt ober look her character....to whom.much is given much is expected

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

they say Christmas is a season for love sharing, forgive her and share some love with her. Do what righteousness2 said, let her know her sins

I don't really understand the response I 'm reading. Op barely knew the Uncle, helped him till his death, transferred the help to his wife who took it like ske was entitled to it so much so that she didn't even think her worthy to visit the OP and her baby when she gave birth. Who does that?

Dear Op, I am a giver as well. As a matter of fact, I love giving, but if I were you, I wouldn't send anything to this widow anymore. She dosent love you. Dosent even like you or appreciate you. You are just an Atm to her. Pray to God, he will direct you to people to give to, and that is where he will bless you, not all these man-made, by-force giving that God did not send you.

Ememmmi:
I have an uncle that passed on early last year. My daddy told me he's my "uncle" but a distant relation because I don't know him in the village. We only met in lagos here so I think we are related but not close relation. Before he died, I use to send money to him especially during covid. At times he will ask and atimes I will send without him asking me. So when he passed on early last year, I was still sending the little amount I can afford to his wife. Its been 4 months I gave birth and she did not even come to see me. Her house to my house is about 500 transport fare to and fro. She knows there's no how she will come to my house and I won't give her cash even if at all she don't have transport fare.

She called me 2 days ago asking of Christmas money. I told her I will send it but inside me I am not happy honestly. People came from very far distance to visit me when I gave birth but this woman didn't even show concern. Anytime she call me will always be to ask of money. She said all her husband relative has abandoned her.
It is not like I don't have money to give her but her attitude is bad. She has only one daughter which she claimed she's in university. I don't know how true is that
Do you think I should overlook her character and give her the money

I won't say not to give her the money, but since it bothers you, do well to tell her how you feel.

Whats with people and unnecessary protocols...