| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by frankfab(m): 9:38pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
OP, you too should stop seeing your ex. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by queenblossom(f): 9:39pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
If you marry this girl you will regret it forever |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by DavidEsq(m): 9:43pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? Una wey advice OP dey waste una time. Person see all this rubbish from one woman wey no get shishi to her name and e still dey ask for advice if e go marry am! Wallahi una go advice am tire but e go still marry am. Wait for just 3 years after today, na regret story una go see for NL |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by singiti(m): 9:46pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
@fanrong …. In as much as I don’t like to delve into relationship related issues, I will advise you to end the relationship now as all the signs are there to do so. Marriage is not something you breeze in and breeze out. It’s a forever commitment. If you can put up with this behavior of hers and her still calling her ex to come to her aid whenever you guys have issues, then please go ahead with the marriage… |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by prophetfire: 9:54pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? Hmmmmm You want someone to tell you before you end that disaster that's waiting to happen? You are walking into a major disaster with your eyes wide closed. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by ofemigeorge(m): 9:57pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? The problem I see is coming from you. You are hot tempered. You go little things for people and it looks like you have done them a big favour and you will want something in return. You want to be in control. Your financial condition will make both of you fight and fight to see blood if you dont improve your financial lives be for marriage. If not the devil will use two of you like table tennis ball |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Tatinus: 10:13pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
InvertedHammer:
baba no wise , baba leave this girl na pure gold digger. Once I notice a gold digger I ghost u completely 😜😜
/
I think it is God's plan for you.
The angels want you in heaven and the only way to leave this world and get there quicker is by marrying this girl.
/
|
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by sukkot: 10:15pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
Solofresh2:
What does Scorpio rising mean. I finally got my rising sign from my certificate
Making me Scorpio rising Taurus Sun and Pisces moon hehe bro I don’t do the rising thing. Strictly planets sun moon, some asteroids and centaurs. Physical things in the sky 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by mankan2k7(m): 10:27pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
Pepper dey him own dey rest, my guy they look for pepper.
U better run 440, a problem is waiting for u already. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Oluwatobiloba07: 10:34pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
I will say you shouldn't throw her out But fact is wedding plans is too early for a girl you know within just six months We are talking about who you'll live your life with in the rest of the year, take your time to know her, women are complex, their might be something you're actually doing wrong, we only hear your own side of the story. Please calm down, sit her down and talk to her emotionally Jah bless you boss FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Abuchindugba(m): 10:43pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
Run oooo... If you can't get peace of mind with her and respect from here, just let go.. I was once in your shoes.. It's not worth it |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by shortgun(m): 10:46pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
LostMyZeal:
This must be sarcasm right?
Otherwise, I'd have to say you're a compound Ph_oooooooo_L It's not sacarsm and you must be a slow poke not to notice it. Idiot |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by shortgun(m): 10:54pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
LordIsaac:
I completely disagree with you! This particular one will just kill this man before his time. Please don’t counsel your brother to fall into a ditch you can clearly see. You can disagree all you want but where are the women who will not kill their husbands before their time? 97% of married men die before their wives so what's your point? Any man who has signed up for marriage has signed up to die early......the statistics are there for all to see. What I am saying may be too advanced for you to comprehend but it remains a fact. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Mccollins042(m): 10:57pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
Number one is that she has no atom of love for you, if a girl loves you she will do a lot of stupid things for you. 2. She is with you because of what she is gaining for you and wants you to open a shop for her so she can run back to her "ex" 3. She is still so much in love with her "ex" and uses you for just her finances. Be wise FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Jesubaby: 11:01pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
Abeg! May she come talk her own too. This one wey you de talk de favor yourself. And you de also de talk like the lord and the final say. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by pharmade: 11:09pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
I am not married, but this is my take. Most married men undergo worse things. Secondly, i will need to hear the womans part of the story. Thirdly, it is a man's responsibility to provide for his woman and never to use it as a threat. If you are tired, just tell her rather than oppressing her with what you have done for her. Finally, prayers is necessary before a life time committment, and it is a must. Kindly, seek divine guidiance. FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by embee430(m): 11:14pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
After the first 3 paragraph, I stopped reading the story. From your story it's obvious the girl isn't what you want and she doesn't really love. I see distrust in your relationship and wanting to change your girl. The relationship will not work. She's probably still going through trauma bond with her ex. That isn't easy to break. It'll become toxic. Please let her be. FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Tranquility2345: 11:25pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
FanRong you be real Jew man. You think say na achievement to buy sneakers for woman? ; That girl is just using you for free food and accommodation. She go soon cut out when things work for her. She sef know say you be Jew man  |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by kkins25(m): 11:31pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
She's with you Because she's in a place of need. I don't think she likes you that much. I suggest you end the relationship.
What was the original plan?? Was she supposed to be just a roomate until you started catching feelings? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Nonywendy(m): 11:33pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? Bros, from experience pls throw her out, cancel the wedding plans. The red flags are starring at you. The earlier the better |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Nonywendy(m): 11:35pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
shortgun:
It's logical to tell you to leave the girl or run for your life....but to who?
The experience you are having is just how women behave, you won't find a better one anywhere!
The only ones who will appear to be better are those who will pretend but will later show their true colours.
Any man who has made up his mind to get involved with a woman must be ready to put up with their nature and illogical dramas or just stay single.
You are even lucky she doesn't get angry with you cos you are cheating on her in her dreams.
The areas where I see you lacking is in dominance and assertiveness; you need to dominate her to conquer her.
U lie. Stop encouraging him. There are girls better than dis one. All girls don't behave like this |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Tonytonex(m): 11:38pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
If she can't respect you, big wahala dey. But if you love her and can tolerate her excesses. Then go ahead. After all, there is no perfect girl anywhere. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by NOETHNICITY(m): 11:45pm On Dec 30, 2023 |
No I stopped reading immediately I got to the point where the ops said that he ‘forced her to call her’. I knew that this another SIMP in action.
I dislike weak men. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by CDCEO001: 12:05am On Dec 31, 2023 |
Red flag everywhere .
Let her go. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Atheistan: 12:45am On Dec 31, 2023 |
Dude....
Kick that beech out... |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by evans0000(m): 1:08am On Dec 31, 2023 |
Have no pity on dumb girls bro or you'd choose a lifetime of regrets. FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by LordIsaac(m): 1:17am On Dec 31, 2023 |
shortgun:
You can disagree all you want but where are the women who will not kill their husbands before their time?
97% of married men die before their wives so what's your point?
Any man who has signed up for marriage has signed up to die early......the statistics are there for all to see.
What I am saying may be too advanced for you to comprehend but it remains a fact. This is one should be fled from, simple. I can’t say that for ALL women. A lazy, jobless, indisciplined, uncultured, loose woman does not represent all women! When you date one, like really date one, you will understand. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by jameschibuike(m): 1:40am On Dec 31, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? If you doesn't give you your full respect no need to marry her. Am Talking out of experience |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by znuga: 2:22am On Dec 31, 2023 |
shortgun:
It's logical to tell you to leave the girl or run for your life....but to who?
The experience you are having is just how women behave, you won't find a better one anywhere!
The only ones who will appear to be better are those who will pretend but will later show their true colours.
Any man who has made up his mind to get involved with a woman must be ready to put up with their nature and illogical dramas or just stay single.
You are even lucky she doesn't get angry with you cos you are cheating on her in her dreams.
The areas where I see you lacking is in dominance and assertiveness; you need to dominate her to conquer her.
Some, if not all of them, their sense of thinking is extremely horrible. May God saves men from evil women. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by walegon: 2:29am On Dec 31, 2023 |
FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.
My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.
On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.
Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)
After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.
Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.
She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.
I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.
Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.
2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.
4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.
5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.
After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.
I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.
The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.
We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.
I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by Dmanky(m): 2:31am On Dec 31, 2023 |
You can be a very good adviser to yourself and STOP bitching around. A broken relationship Is achievable than a miserable marriage. Use your coconut head and stop messing with both your coconut head and your peace of mind. |
| Re: I Want To Cancel The Marriage Plans. Is It Worth It? by madscientist88(m): 3:20am On Dec 31, 2023 |
Yusufisraelj:
You've spoken objectively to his side of the story.
These days I tend to reserve judgement without hearing two sides and I don't think OP is being objective.
Subliminally in his story he seems over bearing, while I won't condone a lady who has options at the drop of a hat when considering marriage, I equally thinks he needs to be objective so that his own faults will be laid out, what's the lady's disposition of him? as you pointed out,in life actions are reactions,if he is telling us his side of the story, attentively we should be able to pick a thing or two about her own side of the story,but lets not forget,i said if what he said was true, meaning my advice is only applicable if he is honest regarding his claims.i didn't say she is guilty. 1 Like |
