Malroux:
Are you asking me? Who owns the father's compound and his first choice investments? Who dictates the tempo when the father is no more? Unless there's a written will from the father before his demise.

Even if the father dies intestate,the survivors can go to court to get an equal share. First son , my foot. This is 2024 not 1904

The truth is that,you just need to start thinking outside the box, invest on your kids, secure more things, because so far that bride price has been paid, she has every right just as you.
The worst thing that can happen to a woman is getting married to a man whose baby mama is not married.
I'm a woman so I know.
The boy is his son, there's nothing you can do,just don't let what is temporary disturb your mental health or take you to your maker early.

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

African tradition is no brainer at times

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

Well it's going to be a game of gambling

If he pays the bride price to claim his son, he has automatically married her and that is it

Unless he goes back again to say that he doesn't want to marry her again and they should refund the bride price, which is also a traditional system

I bet you the woman family will ask the woman in questions if the bride price should be returned

If she says yes it should be returned which I doubt if she will say yes, then good luck

But if she says no, that means she is his wife and she will gradually creep into the man's family because a child is involve

But the best option is to pay her off and collect the child
That is if she will ever agree to accept financial settlements

But one other thing is that, if the child grow up, he will return home to his father and bring back his mum

The only way you can protect your children is to make sure that anything you buy with your money that is an asset

Put your name and your children names befire his family will claim is their brother property's

The if both you and your husband are buying any property together

Make sure your name is specified and spelt out just as his own name will be spelt out in it

That is Mr - - - - - and and Mrs - - - - -

One thing you must know is that, that child is his first son and he is recognized as his first son

But if your husband have respect for you
Let him just settle that woman

Malroux:
Are you asking me? Who owns the father's compound and his first choice investments? Who dictates the tempo when the father is no more? Unless there's a written will from the father before his demise.

Lolss

Why should the kids care?

Parents don't owe children properties on l y good education to enable them fend for themselves.

See how una dey cast someone's update.

Na wa oooo

Unfortunately your husband is not being sincere

Malroux:
Are you asking me? Who owns the father's compound and his first choice investments? Who dictates the tempo when the father is no more? Unless there's a written will from the father before his demise.

My family is igbo, my father shared all his urban properties equally amongst all his children, males and females as he didn't apply "you are the first son, you are female", even my elder sister who is a Reverend Sister got her equal share despite not needing it because of her religious vocation but my parents no send, she is their daughter.

My father's compound in the village is very big, every son dey build im own house inside that compound as my father wants it done, future generations can expand outside the compound.

So there is nothing like first choice investments to a particular child because of gender and order of birth in my own family.

cococandy:
Unfortunately your husband is not being sincere

He is marrying a Nigerian wife using the son between them as a smokescreen.

This so called intruder (the lady with the first son), is she not married or have a husband of her own after? If no, then it's a plan between her and your husband. There's no such thing like paying bride price before claiming a child...

IT'S A GAME

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

He is getting married. Period. No sugarcoating it.
He married you to solidify his stay as legitimate.
So many of them out there. When they are tired, they will disappear. Have you gone to Nigeria with him?

Malroux:
Are you asking me? Who owns the father's compound and his first choice investments? Who dictates the tempo when the father is no more? Unless there's a written will from the father before his demise.

In this generation. That family must be very poor and uncivilised.

SUPERPACK:
Tell him to go to court and file for custody of the child with an agreement with the mother if the child is below 18. if he is 18 and above then it is easier if the boy choose to stay with the father as he will have the right to choose who to stay with. The court has the final say as it concerns children born out of marriage. Do not allow her tradition or culture to intimidate you people into committing Bigamy that is if you are already married in court.

See a lawyer immediately and make settlement arrangements.

@Crystal08 follow this advice above. If you didn't have Statutory marriage (Nigeria) or whatever court marriage is called where you're resident, have him do that with you first as clearly, he wants a second wife plain and simple.

The court marriage will make you legally his wife which will not allow him marry a second wife. Must he pay her bride price? Why won't he just go for joint custody instead?

Double post

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

I pity u madam. Na short cut to marry another woman. If he truly wants to claim his son, all he need do is to pay everything d family demand from him if he hasn't been part of the boy life.

Mindlog:


He is marrying a Nigerian wife using the son between them as a smokescreen.

exactly

It has never really be about the child, they've always been in a relationship. The woman just want it to be legalize so she can claim alot of right.

What if the woman was already married, will the tradition ask that another bride price should be paid to claim a love child.

Open your eyes, they are about to put you in a polygamist marriage.

One day, in the nearest future, your husband will talk back at you that " after all, she's also my wife, I paid her bride price".

Justkatty:
The truth is that,you just need to start thinking outside the box, invest on your kids, secure more things, because so far that bride price has been paid, she has every right just as you.
The worst thing that can happen to a woman is getting married to a man whose baby mama is not married.
I'm a woman so I know.
The boy is his son, there's nothing you can do,just don't let what is temporary disturb your mental health or take you to your maker early.

It's a planned work he left the love of his life to seek a greener pastures using you as bait to secure visa or etc.

He's now gotten the pastures and is going back home to legalize his union with the love of his life.

Chai, I hate it when some Nigerian men meet good women aboard and use them. Shey una dey see, if a guy or girl says that they don't want to get involved with someone who already has a child, people will start blasting that person. Na becos of yeye issues like this.

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

there is more to the story why she is calling, most likely your hubby is saying something different what he is saying to


Why regular calls now, those who are saying if he pay bride price she became his wife, what if she is already married? and also is that there is also money paid if you accept the child but dont want to marry the wife

The issue is your husband he is not telling the truth on both of you

Mindlog:


My family is igbo, my father shared all his urban properties equally amongst all his children, males and females as he didn't apply "you are the first son, you are female", even my elder sister who is a Reverend Sister got her equal share despite not needing it because of her religious vocation but my parents no send, she is their daughter.

My father's compound in the village is very big, every son dey build im own house inside that compound as my father wants it done, future generations can expand outside the compound.

So there is nothing like first choice investments to a particular child because of gender and order of birth in my own family.

I'm very happy that your father chosed this path instead of following the foostep of generations past! It shows he is enlightened and a good man. What I postulated is what that is practiced in many part of Nigeria nay Africa and you know I'm saying the truth, even though, I don't support such obsolete tradition. Cut me some slack and admit that what I said is the truth.