Kudducini:
Open a Fiverr acct bro

vivaAfrica:
Where is your location?

Abuja.

Obainoman6:
I have a job for you, can you do armed robbery or kidnapping.

SuperOnyi:






No, I can't. I don't want to be a menace to the society, the pain they're going through is enough. If someone like me decides to do crime, you will need the FBI, CIA, and mossad to stop me.

SuperOnyi:




As we all know, broke people like me are terribly suffering in this country right now. Guys, I'm willing to offer my services in exchange for money.

The only thing that gives me hope is publishing books on online bookstores particularly Amazon but recently, the lack of power supply have become so severe that I've not been able to do anything. I actually quitted the menial job I was doing to focus on writing more books, I also did that because it wasn't really paying the bills.

This lack of power supply has made me hopeless, my neighbors have also become the Egyptians sent to torment me — these guys refused to pay the light bill so the PHCN guys angrily removed the whole wire while disconnecting the light. These Egyptians that English language forces me to address as neighbors never pay the light bill, they rather wake up in the middle of the night to connect the wire back.

I don't want to keep on ranting hence I have decided to:

1. Write articles, stories, or even books in exchange for money so I can move to another apartment.

2. If it's possible, I'm willing to "share my handsomeness" as it's not putting food on the table. Even though I don't care about my looks, I'm among the top 100,000 handsome men in Nigeria and if I start paying attention to my looks, I could be top 10.

3. I can help you create YouTube videos that will help you get monetize as soon as possible.

4. I can create book covers for you.

5. I can also do a voice over for you, I have a nice voice and clear accent.

Geovanni412:





How can you get clients when they don't understand you from the jump?

Your first statement alone and your bulletpoints cannot attract any serious client that will pay good money

Specialisation is KEY

What niche do you specialise in writing articles in?

What type of writing do you specialise in doing...is it grant writing, academic writing, content writing, copywriting?

Your second statement is not an offer and is enough for people to dismiss you as unserious

Your third statement sounds like mere fluff because even if you are good at it, you failed to convince us by showing us either templates of your work or testimonials from satisfied customers

The same issues apply to your fourth and fifth statement

The only people who will approach you for work with the way you sound are people looking for 5,000 naira per article writers

Get serious

Make an acct with carrd and create a landing page showcasing your portfolio or post pictures from your facebook profile that showcases your portfolio

Refine your offer to one issue and be specific about the niche you are working in. Any other offer should be an additional package that goes together with the first offer. Example: You can offer to design book covers for kdp and paperback and editing kdp books. Target with this offer is people who want to publish ebooks.

Exousiang01:
Hunger never beat you.
Who dey hungry no dey look mirror

JOACHINpedro:

Oshey supervillian

SIXFEETUNDER:
Download Grindr

SuperOnyi:









Thanks alot, boss. I do all that for myself so I don't got no customers testimonials. The original post was me just trying to sound economically funny — which went over a lot of people's head.

Geovanni412:


You don't have customers?

Friends and family are your first customers

Use your facebook and reach out to ya school mates too

And be more specific in what you are trying to say

SuperOnyi:






No, I can't. I don't want to be a menace to the society, the pain they're going through is enough. If someone like me decides to do crime, you will need the FBI, CIA, and mossad to stop me.

tochez24:



Lol you're funny 😊😊

Do you really think our police is not working?? They're actually working my brother.... But they only work for the government!!!!

If Nigerian government wants you, the police must get you in less than 24 hr i bet you.

They don't need cia of fbi, they only need an executive order to actually function properly bro, if it's not coming from the top... They wouldn't do their jobs🙄

SuperOnyi:







Are you trying to get me to unleash the monster in me?

JOACHINpedro:

I'm scared right now

JOACHINpedro:
Oshey supervillian

SuperOnyi:






Sir, I don't got no active socials... Sometimes, I just be thinking that the fact that I'm broke is my fault but I can't really fight it since I gotta deal with the abnormalities Nigeria keeps confronting a man with.

I want to go into a lot of online stuffs but the lack of power supply is demoralizing, this year alone, I have moved to different towns and states because of electricity. Now, I can't do that no more because I'm broke.

And yeah, about being "specific", I just write different books on Amazon and publish — mostly on self development. It's so sad I'm just starting out and lack of power supply has decided to keep kicking me down each time I get up.

Man... Can't believe I'm literally ranting.

SuperOnyi:




As we all know, broke people like me are terribly suffering in this country right now. Guys, I'm willing to offer my services in exchange for money.

The only thing that gives me hope is publishing books on online bookstores particularly Amazon but recently, the lack of power supply have become so severe that I've not been able to do anything. I actually quitted the menial job I was doing to focus on writing more books, I also did that because it wasn't really paying the bills.

This lack of power supply has made me hopeless, my neighbors have also become the Egyptians sent to torment me — these guys refused to pay the light bill so the PHCN guys angrily removed the whole wire while disconnecting the light. These Egyptians that English language forces me to address as neighbors never pay the light bill, they rather wake up in the middle of the night to connect the wire back.

I don't want to keep on ranting hence I have decided to:

1. Write articles, stories, or even books in exchange for money so I can move to another apartment.

2. If it's possible, I'm willing to "share my handsomeness" as it's not putting food on the table. Even though I don't care about my looks, I'm among the top 100,000 handsome men in Nigeria and if I start paying attention to my looks, I could be top 10.

3. I can help you create YouTube videos that will help you get monetize as soon as possible.

4. I can create book covers for you.

5. I can also do a voice over for you, I have a nice voice and clear accent.

SuperOnyi:






No, I can't. I don't want to be a menace to the society, the pain they're going through is enough. If someone like me decides to do crime, you will need the FBI, CIA, and mossad to stop me.