chines4:

@Ochuko, may be love is not important, what is important is holy spirit revealed to me that u'r my spouse  

ochukoccna:

^^^^
Simply by observation on NL,1 gets to know the trolls who use abusive language&lack person to person skills
That your father gave you up for adoption doesnt mean  you have to be mad at the whole world
Going through your posts on NL,we see his decison was justified

Deep Soul:

Ochukoccna, I somewhat agree with you.


Intense love is dangerous. Especially with the wrong person.

brainpulse:

This was what many of our parents believed in that they had to endure and suffer in marriage, because majority married base on arrangement, then they found it difficult to live together because there was no feeling initially at all and they became trapped for live saying if not for my children i would have left and bla bla bla

brainpulse:

There lots of things as humn beings we dont understand and can not fathom about life, because abrupt changes comes and you cant explain circumstances any more. The best and good guy can someday turn to the worst man you can ever hope to see. the best,nice and trained lady can change to be free for all public fighter. But when situation like this comes one needs a deeper feeling and something you once had before marriage to keep you amidst the storm.
That is not to say one most delibrately make wrong decision base on clear situation before marriage but make sure the feelings you have are right and geniune but not to have nothing at all is dancing blues with Boko haram.

ochukoccna:

@ Deepsoul, thank you for seeing my perspective
How can you give your heart to someone who is a stranger?
Yes ,that guy or babe whom you have no covenant with is a stranger
Once he marries you,then that's love
Yet love still grows
Just make sure your intuition is leading you on not feelings

ochukoccna:

Be not foolish,did I mention the Holy Spirit doing that?
Yet look in the New Testament to see that God does not speak in a vacuum
On an issue concerning 2 people,He reveals to both parties
Joseph&Mary, Paul& Annanias etc

brainpulse:

@Deep Soul

So if you married the so call right guy for status; from good home, has professional certifications, well read, speak queen's english, cashfull, very interllectual and etc. Then 3 years into the marriage he was struckwith a stroke from the upper limb downwards. No money again, You have to feed himand your 2 kids, you have to carry him for medication and que at the government hospital oncea week.
Tell me with what will you cope knowing you left job since the money was ok for the family. And the marriage was based on status not love.

Then came the guy you loved initial but with no job and ambition but because you left him, he picked up his chattered life and decided to polish and make something out of life. Now he's rich and comfortable and not married be sincere what will be your first thought.

ochukoccna:

@deepsoul,
how come fine sista like you dey hang out with PDP and Yoonited?

I no dey hang out with PDP oh! They r just my neighbours by default
And as for United, there's no other option

Deep Soul:

Ochukoccna, I somewhat agree with you.

I doubt that the poster understood what the pastor meant. Altho I wasn't there, I have similar thoughts about the issue of love and marriage. [size=18pt]Love in itself is not enough to sustain a marriage.[/size]

Intense love is dangerous. Especially with the wrong person.

A perfect example is given - marrying someone for love and having no money to pay basic bills like house rent. So after your landlord chases you out and you are both under the bridge, love will remain strong? Lai Lai! Let's not deceive ourselves.

I used to be a very very very ardent "love believer". But these days, I wonder if it's wise to marry someone I'm madly in love with. Sometimes I think I should just marry some1 I am fond of, tolerate and respect. And vice versa.

But then again! Sometimes I think that when storms arise (and they ALWAYS will), it's that love that binds two people together even when everything else is gone.

Oh well, I guess I'll find out for sure someday!  

ochukoccna:

@ op, listen to the man's message to understand better
i hold no brief for him but i now understand why our educational products are half baked
like Bimbo Odukoya once said,love is not a feeling,love is a decision
this rankled my mind for a while till i understood better through paul's letter to the romans that God loved us even while we are still sinners(for God's nature is love,He cant do otherwise)
Even though feelings build up,love based on emotions is dangeous
God's love (AGAPE) is unconditional
Man's love (EROS) is conditional
Even parents who have wayward children do their best to love them regardless of the grief they dish @ them
Emotional love is what mills and boons novels preach
Agape love is what marriage&serious relationships teaches and need
Sadly it is becoming a lost skill
How is it that our forebearers were married off by their parents in those days yet the marriages overcame obstacles?
For most ladies,love means a well to do guy
For most guys,love means a drop dead lady
What happens if that rich guy is incapcitated and that drop dead lady is disfigured?
[size=16pt]Many who are replying are not married yet else we would have seen less on the spur reactions[/size]
Married folks will tell you Eros wears out in 3-9 months
The questions are
1)Would you love and  marry yourself i.e. someone who shows forth your behavioural traits and personality?
2)Would you love your other half when Eros dries off and you get to see the real person for who he/her really is with weaknesses,iritating habits(we all have them)and what have you?
Love is more than a rush of blood to men balls and that fluttery feelings in ladies hearts.
That is simply what the pastor was telling the  OP.

Allyagakwu:

The entire pastors and preaching stuff is getting crazy. These days, we here all sorts of concoction in the name of preaching the Bible. I was surprised, only just, just yesterday to[b] read in one of Oyedepo's books[/b] that "God made a mistake to have created Adam an adult and given him a will". Unbelieveable thing to say about the all-knowing, all-present and all-[powerful God, the perfect God. May God save us

The entire pastors and preaching stuff is getting crazy. These days, we here all sorts of concoction in the name of preaching the Bible. I was surprised, only just, just yesterday to read in one of Oyedepo's books that "God made a mistake to have created Adam an adult and given him a will". Unbelieveable thing to say about the all-knowing, all-present and all-[powerful God, the perfect God. May God save us

Nayah:

Poster, some mothers said that better marrying someone who will respect you, help you and support you than someone that you love so you can see that your statement is not completely strange, even though it's discutable

I was about to slaughter you for "gbagaun" till I checked it up to see that 'discutable' is a French word. Chei, I almost fell my hand

sexkillz:

[size=14pt]^^^
You dumped me. . .[/size]

I can't say sorry

Deep Soul:

I was about to slaughter you for "gbagaun" till I checked it up to see that 'discutable' is a French word. Chei, I almost fell my hand

I can't say sorry

Deep Soul:

I can't say sorry  

Never notice our parents shouting [b] i love you [/b]here and there yet their marriage last longer.

emmatok:

Marrying For Love Is totally  Wrong.

Because love is illusion and fantasies.

Never notice our parents shouting  i love you here and there yet their marriage last longer.

But today every couple claim to love , but they don't tolerate and understand each other.

Marriage is about tolerance and understanding.