I left him because he cheated on me twice online within 1 year, and was very distant from me. Any little problem he would turn his phone off and not reply. Sometimes I was hurting so much, yet he would still ignore me. Any small problem I tried to talk about, he would just tell me I was a headache and then he would stop talking to me again. But not just that, all year he did not have job. I even give him what little money I have for his mother and himself. He asked for money and told me it is very hard to find job in owerri or Lagos and he won't make much. If I did not give him money, he would have no food. I felt bad. We were getting married in two weeks time, but I was just over his treatment of me. He did not do things I wanted in a man. He said he would get himself together when he would move in with me, but I don't know. In the meantime I met someone who was everything I wanted. A good job, a nice place, always communicated with me, always make me feel happy. I had to make a decision to stay with my fiance (soon to be husband) or leave for this guy who is much more my type of man.. so I left my fiance of 1-2 year.

Nothing was changing much with him. And he would not listen on his to keep a woman happy.
I am very heart broken about this. And his sis told me she does not know were he gone. He left her house and went "crazy" she said. I don't know if he is trying to hurt himself or not. He told me yesterday that he tried to end his life. He begged he would change. But he said he will change many times but never does. I feel so bad and worried for him. But he did not care much for me when I was suffering so much and even wanted to die because of his mistreatment. I am hoping he will not take his life. I hope he is just hurting now. And I am hurting too. But sometimes you cannot change someone who does not want to be a better person. Who hurts you daily. And cannot be the man you need.

Do you think I made a good or bad decision?

Please move on. You took the right decision.
He will be fine.

You'll still see something u don't like in the new guy, It's just a matter of time... Anyways do what u think it's best for you. Like someone said up there He'll be fine. Move on

You took the right decision now close this chapter and move on.

Yes.

Make sure you’re with the right person before you start “enduring”.

I advice you draw up a realistic (sensible, non-delusional) list of what you want in a man, based on your new found wisdom, and trust that life will arrange for you to meet such a person sooner than later.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re bound to repeat them.

Happytravels:
I left him because he cheated on me twice online within 1 year, and was very distant from me. Any little problem he would turn his phone off and not reply. Sometimes I was hurting so much, yet he would still ignore me. Any small problem I tried to talk about, he would just tell me I was a headache and then he would stop talking to me again. But not just that, all year he did not have job. I even give him what little money I have for his mother and himself. He asked for money and told me it is very hard to find job in owerri or Lagos and he won't make much. If I did not give him money, he would have no food. I felt bad. We were getting married in two weeks time, but I was just over his treatment of me. He did not do things I wanted in a man. He said he would get himself together when he would move in with me, but I don't know. In the meantime I met someone who was everything I wanted. A good job, a nice place, always communicated with me, always make me feel happy. I had to make a decision to stay with my fiance (soon to be husband) or leave for this guy who is much more my type of man.. so I left my fiance of 1-2 year.

Nothing was changing much with him. And he would not listen on his to keep a woman happy.
I am very heart broken about this. And his sis told me she does not know were he gone. He left her house and went "crazy" she said. I don't know if he is trying to hurt himself or not. He told me yesterday that he tried to end his life. He begged he would change. But he said he will change many times but never does. I feel so bad and worried for him. But he did not care much for me when I was suffering so much and even wanted to die because of his mistreatment. I am hoping he will not take his life. I hope he is just hurting now. And I am hurting too. But sometimes you cannot change someone who does not want to be a better person. Who hurts you daily. And cannot be the man you need.

Do you think I made a good or bad decision?

AsomStructures:
You'll still see something u don't like in the new guy, It's just a matter of time... Anyways do what u think it's best for you. Like someone said up there He'll be fine. Move on

Yes no one is perfect. I accepted him for who he was. But he could not give anything back. We only spoke once a day and most of the time would not pick his phone. Sometimes days until I hear from him. Just to many things that made me feel really bad. I was always crying.. I know me and this guy will have some disagreements but at least he is trying. I felt like I was the man in the relationship. I did everything.

GodHimself:
Yes.

Make sure you’re with the right person before you start “enduring”.

I advice you draw up a realistic (sensible, non-delusional) list of what you want in a man, based on your new found wisdom, and trust that life will arrange for you to meet such a person sooner than later.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re bound to repeat them.

Thank you. Yes I just want a few things. I am not picky. I just want someone to answer my calls, be understanding sometimes, and not go days without a reply. Someone who is not looking at every woman that comes his way. Someone who can provide for a family. Because I am 31 now and I have no time to wait to birth a child. He was 31 too, but he could not provide for a family.

Happytravels:


Yes no one is perfect. I accepted him for who he was. But he could not give anything back. We only spoke once a day and most of the time would not pick his phone. Sometimes days until I hear from him. Just to many things that made me feel really bad. I was always crying.. I know me and this guy will have some disagreements but at least he is trying. I felt like I was the man in the relationship. I did everything.

All the best

I don't get it, he had no job, you gave him pocket money often and still you both wanted getting married.

Am I missing out on something? Possibly for a man to get married without sustainable source of income? Abi na me dey reason backward

You've made the decision and it is right. But why would you think of marrying someone who can't fend for himself...,??

Happytravels:
I left him because he cheated on me twice online within 1 year, and was very distant from me. Any little problem he would turn his phone off and not reply. Sometimes I was hurting so much, yet he would still ignore me. Any small problem I tried to talk about, he would just tell me I was a headache and then he would stop talking to me again. But not just that, all year he did not have job. I even give him what little money I have for his mother and himself. He asked for money and told me it is very hard to find job in owerri or Lagos and he won't make much. If I did not give him money, he would have no food. I felt bad. We were getting married in two weeks time, but I was just over his treatment of me. He did not do things I wanted in a man. He said he would get himself together when he would move in with me, but I don't know. In the meantime I met someone who was everything I wanted. A good job, a nice place, always communicated with me, always make me feel happy. I had to make a decision to stay with my fiance (soon to be husband) or leave for this guy who is much more my type of man.. so I left my fiance of 1-2 year.

Nothing was changing much with him. And he would not listen on his to keep a woman happy.
I am very heart broken about this. And his sis told me she does not know were he gone. He left her house and went "crazy" she said. I don't know if he is trying to hurt himself or not. He told me yesterday that he tried to end his life. He begged he would change. But he said he will change many times but never does. I feel so bad and worried for him. But he did not care much for me when I was suffering so much and even wanted to die because of his mistreatment. I am hoping he will not take his life. I hope he is just hurting now. And I am hurting too. But sometimes you cannot change someone who does not want to be a better person. Who hurts you daily. And cannot be the man you need.

Do you think I made a good or bad decision?

The single most important choice you will ever make is whom you marry.

Marrying the wrong person will ruin your life. And it will continue ruining your life until your spouse dies or you get divorced. And getting divorced is one of the worst experiences a person can suffer. It also can be financially devastating.

If your gut tells you something is not quite right, listen to it. Don’t use rationalizations. Your gut is almost always right when it comes to dating.

A person addicted to whatever while you are dating has not proven that he or she can break his or her addiction. If the addiction is to cigarettes, it doesn’t matter—or exercise, or eating well. But if the person is addicted to steroids, or alcohol, get the Bleep out. You can’t save them. Only they can do that.

If a person has beaten an addiction and is/or getting help, that is a different matter. Plenty of former addicts are fine.

You cannot change your partner. That is impossible. And if you want them to change, they aren’t for you. You have to be okay with your partner as they are right now.

There is nothing you can do about your spouse changing during marriage. Aging and life experiences do that. You have to compromise on the effects of it if you want to stay married. That is the work of marriage.

If you are already married, unless things are really toxic, you are better off staying in the marriage. There is no perfect person for you. Your goal is to find someone you love but also you can live with. That is success.

[b]You aren’t perfect. You probably have issues. So do they. [/b]The question is not about these things. The question is “can we live with each other and each other’s issues?” If the answer is yes, you will be okay.

Life is about compromises. If you are a 5 on the mating market given your mix of personality, status, and looks, you are going to need to find a mate in the 4–6 zones. Only the 10’s get the 9–10’s. Is life fair? No. Maybe you will get extremely lucky and marry up. But don’t count on it.

If you are a spender and your mate is a saver, you will have conflict. You need to work out something you can live with happily or not get married. Money is the leading cause of fighting and divorce. Adultery is also another leading cause of ugly divorces, followed by money. Trust me, I know. I have been into counseling for many years now.

Marriage isn’t for everyone. Don’t get married because your friends are getting married or your parents and grandparents keep bugging you. You WILL ruin your life.

If you disagree about how many kids you want when married, don’t go into marriage. Don’t say, “we’ll discuss it in the future.” That is a prescription for divorce.

If you both have different levels of energy, don’t get married. A person who likes to stay home and rest when not working will have conflict with a person who wants to go tailgating, partying, etc. The bottom line line here is your choice is right and you shouldn't fret about it, but what i can tell is who the guy might become tomorrow.

Wish you the best.

one big mistake people make in a relationship , you dated for more than 5years automatically means he or she is the right person ? you can be with someone for just 1month and he will be perfect for you.

Move on, but im sure you will cheat on ur husband and fuckhh this EX later in future.
You guys have some unfinished business
be care too, all that gliters is not gold, dont rush into marriage with the new guy, you need time.

Happytravels:
I left him because he
Do you think I made a good or bad decision?

it is marriage, it is ur personal decision and it is okay to be selfish. cuz u will face the consequences alone.

Failed relationship is better than failed marriage