I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

Sorry about that chief

But the truth of the matter is that some firstborn na away match dem dey be (sendforth package from the woman's ex lover)

Its only the woman that knows the true father of a child

I rest my case

she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

Another one.

Omohhhhhhh... Damnnn💔

Some women can be so desperately wicked shaa...


Please, on no account, shaa try eat and look fresh. Don't take back that hoe pls and pls... Even if she calls Tinubu to beg u, no ans am... Pls

Omohhhh! Nurturing someone else's kid of 9yrs! 9 good years ..

Meaning, if u didn't do the DNA secretly, you wouldn't have known still and she'll be inside that house laughing and smiling with and at u... Damnnn!!!

Cc

Is obvious now that having exes is never a good sign.

Is scary at this point the sort of stories we keep hearing about the damages exes are doing to marriages and relationships.

With all of these revelations, I see why is just the best decision to settle for a virgin girl.

When all the girls are virgins it means majority of boys will also learn to be virgins too.

So sorry about this man. Chest it up and move on. I'd recommend you connect more with your loved ones at this trying time.

I'm sorry for what you are going through 😔

Please tell members of your family and maybe some of hers, their advice and support this period may be crucial for you surpassing this hurdle.

May God pull you through.🙏🏿

DaGC:
I'm sorry for what you are going through 😔

Please tell members of your family and maybe some of hers, their advice and support this period may be crucial for you surpassing this hurdle.

May God pull you through.🙏🏿

I don't even understand why men will sacrifice their peace of mind just to verify who born pikin,I cannot put myself in such situation in this short life, honestly I don't care,so he will now go through the stress of marrying another woman maybe padlocking the pussy or testing every baby that she will born?I am not that insecure and I don't give a rat ass

Afonja101:
I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

As long as SIMPs don't listen... They will keep shedding tears till tomorrow😆😆😆

When we talk about women, they tag us with different names but las las nah dem go still cry!!!!

These girls out there are not joking at all, they are out to ruin and cause pain to guys...

🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️

Take comfort in the fact that you found out 9 years later rather than 29 years later. Also, the pain is fresh because the betrayal is fresh so give yourself time. Give yourself a year or so to heal and then do a test on your second child. If that child is yours then do right by that child and move on with your life.

What she did is more than paternity fraud, she has demonstrated that she will always put her interests before yours and anyone else’s. That is a dangerous person and you are very lucky to find out now before she sends you to an early grave.

She lied for that long and she would have gone to her grave with that lie. She put herself before you and that child. I hope you never take her back because you were a means to an end for her.

okoroemeka:
I don't even understand why men will sacrifice their peace of mind just to verify who born pikin,I cannot put myself in such situation in this short life, honestly I don't care,so he will now go through the stress of marrying another woman maybe padlocking the pussy or testing every baby that she will born?I am not that insecure and I don't give a rat ass

And you will be glad if in the future, the real father start threatening to have his child back? It's not too early. Once you begin to have doubt about the paternity of a child, do the needful in time. I hope the OP will find solace to help him heal in time, for the time and resources wasted.

Afonja101:
I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

if the story is true , what you were scared of happening 9 years ago (losing her to her ex ) has finally happened 9 years after , who is in pains now just you , the ex might be married now with his own biological kids . This is a honest advice to all intending couples out there , when you meet a potential partner try to ask questions , when was their last relationship ? What led to break up and all also do your own findings .Alot of you g adults now are used to this back and forth thing with their previous lovers . Dont let any one use you as an instrument to pepper their previous lover . Now see the mess you could have simply avoided for yourself sorry anyways

Brandiebird:
Take comfort in the fact that you found out 9 years later rather than 29 years later. Also, the pain is fresh because the betrayal is fresh so give yourself time. Give yourself a year or so to heal and then do a test on your second child. If that child is yours then do right by that child and move on with your life.

What she did is more than paternity fraud, she has demonstrated that she will always put her interests before yours and anyone else’s. That is a dangerous person and you are very lucky to find out now before she sends you to an early grave.

She lied for that long and she would have gone to her grave with that lie. She put herself before you and that child. I hope you never take her back because you were a means to an end for her.

Though I'm thanking God for finding out, I'm also in pains because of how much i love her.... I just wish i can move on.

HopeNeverDies:
Omohhhhhhh... Damnnn💔

Some women can be so desperately wicked shaa...


Please, on no account, shaa try eat and look fresh. Don't take back that hoe pls and pls... Even if she calls Tinubu to beg u, no ans am... Pls

Omohhhh! Nurturing someone else's kid of 9yrs! 9 good years ..

Meaning, if u didn't do the DNA secretly, you wouldn't have known still and she'll be inside that house laughing and smiling with and at u... Damnnn!!!

honestly brother, I've tried so much to eat but no appetite. The worst thing is I'm at home 24hrs because I work from home.

Sorry for your loss of 9 years+

Then again,this should serve as a big lesson to every guyman out there --"As you dey plan to save money for that your marriage so,abeg also dey plan to save money keep for somewhere for DNA test...Cuz you go definitely need am one day...

Afonja101:
Though I'm thanking God for finding out, I'm also in pains because of how much i love her.... I just wish i can move on.

If that’s the case then you’re glutton for punishment. You love someone who chose you because you were an option to cover her shame.

You will do whatever you want but be sure of your decision because you will forever be resentful of your wife and that innocent child.

You will believe that she owes you some unattainable level of respect and honour and whenever she falls short you will remember her betrayal. It’s a dangerous path to embark on.

There’s more to life than love. It’s a huge responsibility. That child needs to know where they came from and one day they’ll look for their father. Your wife may even contact him behind your back if you stand in the way.

There’s a lot to consider. Love doesn’t always conquer all. Take some time to think about your decisions and don’t base those decisions on feelings.

damn this is so sad. na wa oooo, haaaaaa

Sonnobax15:

Sorry for your loss of 9 years+

Then again,this should serve as a big lesson to every guyman out there --"As you dey plan to save money for that your marriage so,abeg also dey plan to save money keep for somewhere for DNA test...Cuz you go definitely need am one day...

This is actually a sad reality.

That gender can't stop paternity fraud. It's their calling

This is more reason I stop giving advice to those in love. I bet 70% that this simping ops will still accept his wife back.
Rule 1. Never marry a girl because pregnancy pressure is always a distaster(who no goes no go know).
Rule 2. Never marry a lady out of pity.
Rule 3. Always make sure your woman love you more than you did.
Rule 4. As a man always put yourself first. (e get why)

It's heartbreaking to realize that the woman you claim to love lied to you or betrayed your trust, that is why I conclud in my mind that marriage is a 21st century scam.

Cc

Mickolad:
This is more reason I stop giving advice to those in love. I bet 70% that this simping ops will still accept his wife back.
Rule 1. Never marry a girl because pregnancy pressure is always a distaster(who no goes no go know).
Rule 2. Never marry a lady out of pity.
Rule 3. Always make sure your woman love you more than you did.
Rule 4. As a man always put yourself first. (e get why)

You wouldn't be so sure your woman loves you more than you did for her man. Until my breakup with my ex, I always thought she loved me to pieces. But breakup cleared my eyes waaa. Women can fake for 3 years

Brandiebird:


If that’s the case then you’re glutton for punishment. You love someone who chose you because you were an option to cover her shame.

You will do whatever you want but be sure of your decision because you will forever be resentful of your wife and that innocent child.

You will believe that she owes you some unattainable level of respect and honour and whenever she falls short you will remember her betrayal. It’s a dangerous path to embark on.

There’s more to life than love. It’s a huge responsibility. That child needs to know where they came from and one day they’ll look for their father. Your wife may even contact him behind your back if you stand in the way.

There’s a lot to consider. Love doesn’t always conquer all. Take some time to think about your decisions and don’t base those decisions on feelings.

you're right sir, the basic truth is that i can never accept her back... my major concern right now is how to move on from the pains of betrayal and depression it caused me.... Just yesterday night i just found myself crying uncontrollably.

Afonja101:
you're right sir, the basic truth is that i can never accept her back... my major concern right now is how to move on. Just like yesterday i found myself crying u controllably.

I understand how it feels but you really need to pick up your broken pieces and move on.

You are even lucky say you never grow old...you can still produce more kids

This time around,as you dey prepare for antenatal care...dey arrange money for DNA test.

The other gender ain't loyal at all

bliizz:
I understand how it feels but you really need to pick up your broken pieces and move on.

You are even lucky say you never grow old...you can still produce more kids

This time around,as you dey prepare for antenatal care...dey arrange money for DNA test.

The other gender ain't loyal at all

hmmm, you're right sir... I've been betrayed. Everything happens for a reason.

Carry out secret DNA test immediately, after your allegedly baby boy or gurl has been born.

Afonja101:
Though I'm thanking God for finding out, I'm also in pains because of how much i love her.... I just wish i can move on .

Wow... No wonder she played u for 9 years.

Try to have DNA test done on your second child. If he is your child, bring him back immediately to avoid throwing your own blood out of your home. It leaves bad memory on a child's head. As for your wife and the first child, you took the best decision.

Nonexisting1:
Try to have DNA test done on your second child. If he is your child, bring him back immediately to avoid throwing your own blood out of your home. It leaves bad memory on a child's head. As for your wife and the first child, you took the best decision.

the truth is even if i conduct a DNA test on the second child and confirm he's my son, i bet you her family that i know will never give me the child, i know how much they'll fight me for the child especially for the fact that he's still a minor and have not attained the legal age of being under a father's care. I just have to be patient till he attains that legal age of being under my care. No court will give him to me at this age.

Afonja101:
the truth is even if i conduct a DNA test on the second child and confirm he's my son, i bet you her family that i know will never give me the child, i know how much they'll fight me for the child especially for the fact that he's still a minor and have not attained the legal age of being under a father's care. I just have to be patient till he attains that legal age of being under my care. No court will give him to me at this age.

No, do the DNA test now to help you know if and if not you should be involved in his life. If he is your son, you must not fight for custody immediately, just remain involved in his life for now until he is of age. If not, he will despise you after they must have downloaded lies in his brain. If he is not your son, then to hell with everybody and continue your normal life.