Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar - Romance (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by ElmA1(f): 7:25am On Nov 25, 2011 |
tpia@:Hahaha! @Topic:Theres no need for that. Ladies should learn to open their mouth and ask.''wheres this relationship heading to''? but most of them stay mute just cos they dont want to sound desperate. Cos what you have in mind,might not be what he has in mind. Then again the fact that you guys are dating doesnt mean u will end up as husband and wife. Some couples court for 10years and at the end of the day they go their seperate ways. While some end up in marriage. Guess its luck or they are just meant to be. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by armadeo(m): 8:08am On Nov 25, 2011 |
pls leave us alone why do you need to get married. free us jare. when you marry finish you will then change in the home thats why marriage fails women show one face as a GF and anoda as a wifey. 1 Like |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by segunjowo(m): 10:33am On Nov 25, 2011 |
Maybe. buy why? Marriage is not by force o! |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by logica(m): 11:15am On Nov 25, 2011 |
Ha ha. The mention of dry bones does make an old man nervous. Maybe there's another reason why the mention of "vagin.al odor" would make a woman nervous? |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by BCuZiMBlaCk(m): 12:35pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
segunjowo: |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by alex406(m): 12:45pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
If you guys have spent years without the utterance,then do the shooting,ask him to. Haba, must men do everything? we are in a civilised world for crying out loud. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 12:58pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
alex406: propose u mean. in nigeria? are u sure |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by solomon111(m): 1:20pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
If the mountain fails to come to muhammed than he should go to the mountain.The men wants to be in charge,dont want to be rushed,wants to be stable in all ramification before proposing,but they fail to realize the pressure which the society especially in africa and asia has placed on the women.As women tend to age more quickly than men, there is a required range of years above which the unmarried lady becomes a liability.Medically most women reproductive functions stop at 45,unlike the men who even at 60 can still procreate,this makes its imperative for the woman to get married on time.As i believe only matured people should get married,she should be matured enough to know where the relationship is going,by asking the man if possible. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pauloman(m): 1:23pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
pendo89: Well, for me i wouldnt wana call it that. I believe in a healthy and mature relationship there should be adequate room for openeness, sincerity and communication. If all these are not there then its either its not mature or there is a problem. Nothing stops a lady from communicating her feelings to her boy friend about the future of their relationship even if the boy friend has jitters about moving to the next level. What i personally dont like is when she tries to be manipulative and sounds so selfish about it all. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by badmrkt(m): 1:26pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
for what na  , dem b goat?na only women we suppose drag go alter,cus dem no sabi road, |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by Onuohasworld(m): 1:33pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
i wonder y some girls dont read the signs, following a man for some years and u still cant figure out that he aint gonna marry u, i ve an uncle whose been courting this lady for years .everybody knows he aint marrying her xcept herself, ;ladies do u need your skulls 2 be broken b4 you learn, hahaha, there re so many un married,desperate ladies in lagos, the earlier una start 2 propose ,the better 4 una, |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by juman(m): 1:53pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
Men should be encouraged |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by Nobody: 2:00pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
juman: Don't mind the poster. She knows all these and still single.They wanna rope u in unprepared. When u do marriage unprepared, the woman must have been ur sparring partner and a soul mate.She knows u and believes u. All these he-will-do-every-ceremony ladies should go and read Isaiah 4. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 2:19pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
badmrkt:  this kind of english sounds very funny. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by tlops(m): 5:18pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
ladies should start proposing! |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 5:21pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
tlops: will you say yes then proudly tell your folks/friends she proposed? a guy once said, if hes the one marrying he should be the one to propose. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by MrsChima1(f): 5:30pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
Pendo  No, men shouldn't be dragged to the altar. A man should make a well-informed decision to marry such lady. It is very important that he does it on his own volition and a woman should make a decision if such man is compatible to her in all areas not just sexually and financially. The reason I mentioned sexually and financially because many marriages today are based on sex and money which also explains the rise in divorce/separation/abandonment not just in the "West" either. Before marriage subject is introduce into any stage of relationship, two parties need to know basic information about the person, spend time with each other in different surroundings, grow slowly in love with each other through intimacy and bonding, and ask uncomfortable questions during bonding stage. Without proper foundation, relationships will not survive and dragging a man to the altar will not change anything. A man should ask himself, if his relationship with his woman is built on cards or cement before wasting any more time. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 5:41pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: you know that makes lots of sense. if all that in blue has happened and hes still waiting for God knows what, then only 2 things ought to happen. step or drag or as MBJ said,openly declare early that you are not the' marriage type'. free the lady, tie the knot and stop stringing her for years |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by mobf: 5:44pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima:Well said! Unfortunately some ladies have sort of programmed themselves that the next guy they date will be their husband. Now tell me if this kind of person will even want to "waste precious time' getting to know the guy and letting the love grow. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 5:53pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
mobf: very well said. Ever wondered why? maybe they don't want trial and errors.They enter in with a mind set.That is dangerous but not too bad either if you are too sure about yourself,the guy and what you want. Some people just hate wasting time so they take their time and when they meet that 'compatible fellow' they are ready to go all the way. some people are good at running quick scans on people to find out if there's a future with them. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by MrsChima1(f): 5:57pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
pendo89: Let keep it real here sista, if a man really wants "her" he wouldn't waste any time. That's why I stated in the last paragraph, he needs to make a decision on whether his relationship built on cards or cement before wasting any more time. Some people believes in long engagements, I don't. A year is enough time to know whether this person is for you or not. I am not talking about a year online, through pen pal, and long distance. I am talking about spending physical time with each other and doing things together as one before making a decision to skip down the altar. If it takes more than a year, nine out of 10 times, it would never happen. Let me also clarify something, dating for years is totally different than being engaged or committed for years. Dating is a casual thing and you should see other people to see where the chemistry lies however if you are in a committed relationship or engaged for YEARS then something is not smelling right. But again, each relationship is different and whatever works for them, more power to them! |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by MrsChima1(f): 6:02pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
mobf: Let keep it real, a woman who is desperate for a husband has too many baggages. Excuses like biological clock ticking and growing old alone is out of the window. I don't believe in fast love and what I mean by that is loving someone instantly because we all know or should know love has many stages and definitions. Some people often misconstrued lust for love and Agape love for intimate love. Intimate love is usually when people have invested in time with each other and bonded with each other physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and intimacy. Patience is indeed a virtue and solves a lot of future headaches. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 6:04pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
^^ You know chima some stories I read in this section amaze me. People are committing at 20 yrs. They go ahead to propose, do the intro at around that age Then an opportunity to go study abroad arises exposing the relationship to bad elements. These guys expect to be faithful to each other for say 8 years or even more. It just doesnt make sense to me cz the next thing is a guy crying that the lady dumped him for another guy yet they were'engaged'. Or better still the lady waits 8 years only for the guy to bring home another charm The lady by now is say 40! has never dated another dude but still waits for prince charming. Thats why I say if u engage her it means she qualifies to be wife(you must have studied her well enough)and the right thing you need to do is walk her down that aisle and start life together. If you are not financially able then hold on till u are able but dont tie each other down for centuries through a hurried engagement. Mrs, Chima: Amen. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by harakiri(m): 6:33pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
@Poster Must every relationship end up in marriage? Did you marry all the men you slept with? Did every man who you cooked for and dated propose to you? Did you marry every man that suggested marriage? Na wa for una. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by jamace(m): 6:48pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
I just have to say YES to this in this present circumstances. I'm tired of seeing my sisters (I mean any woman who has reached marriageable age) hanging around men in the name of friendship for as long as 5 years without a hint of marriage from the boyfriend. In the circumstances we find ourselves, ladies fertility span is short (age 45years) while the man becomes even more fertile at that age. So, the woman stands to lose if things do not happen on time. To be truthful, most men find it hard to propose to a lady. The onus therefore lies on the lady to ask questions when it is time and no show from the guy. To me, it is the wise thing to do o. On the issue of the man not having enough money to marry, I say this is bullshit. In as much as I respect demands of the society to do societal weddings of "one- in- town", I will rather redefine the society to suite me, not to kill me. I advise young men and ladies to plan their wedding according to their pocket. As far as I know, marriage is not how flambouyant the wedding was but how fulfiling life after will be. so, gurls speak out if your guy is dumb after 3 years of co-habiting/friendship. It is your biz. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by pendo89(f): 6:50pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
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| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by harakiri(m): 6:55pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
pendo89: ok |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by tpia5: 7:53pm On Nov 25, 2011 |
i wonder y some girls dont read the signs, following a man for some years and u still cant figure out that he aint gonna marry u true that, generally speaking. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by iDo3: 6:05am On Nov 26, 2011 |
Pendo89 - you are 100% on point. I agree with your opinions. As a mature experienced man ladies please note that a man over 30 years old should be able to propose after 1 year maximum of dating!! Don't waste your time waiting for a man over 30 that has not made a decision within a year MAX. If employed regardless of income level then there is no need for a man 30 years or older to not propose. The problem with dating and dating and chasing skirts is that it becomes a bad habit like smoking and does not increase your pleasure or level of satisfaction. In fact it probably diminishes sexual satisfaction in marriage. The more people you 'know' sexually it seems to make it harder to form a stable relationship. The long neck behavior of some men and women is really causing havoc in western and African families. Let's spend our time growing stable families so we can have time to think and build our country rather than chasing skirts all over town. |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by kooto(m): 9:48am On Nov 26, 2011 |
people differ, a secondary school class mates of mine years back started dating in shool till four years out of shool they rushed marriage when the lady got pregnant, i would say it works for them. but personally a relationship of six months is old enough to tell you where it's leading to,(not distant relationship o i mean close relationship) if the lady is the serious type and you begin to have doubt, when this sets in seat him down & ask him,take note of his face, response & actions. once you still doubt get out of it.(my personal opinion). |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by iice(f): 4:47pm On Nov 27, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: Ding! |
| Re: Should Men Be Dragged To The Altar by Gluckdude(m): 12:28am On Nov 28, 2011 |
@ poster i dont believe anyone should be dragged into doing anything. marriage especially. why drag a man into marrying you, the lady should make herself someone a decent man will want to make as a wife. ANYTHING YOU STRUGGLE TO GET, YOU WILL ALSO STRUGGLE TO KEEP. ANYTHING YOU DRAG TO GET, YOU WILL KEEP DRAGGING TO KEEP. means if she drags him to the alter, she has to be dragging him back home from the office after work everyday, cos he might just prefer to stay behind in a beer parlour, rather than spending his time with you, the lady should just make herself a marriage material and the right man will come kneeling on his feet with a ring. chikena |
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