Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,886 members, 7,817,612 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 May 2024 at 03:30 PM

I Lost Him! - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Lost Him! (3265 Views)

Have I Lost Him? / I Think I've Lost Him, For Real This Time / He Approached Me-i Was Fronting = I Lost Him :( (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Lost Him! by kelz88(f): 3:17am On Nov 28, 2011
What's the rush? Don't see why he can't wait for you to finish schooling.

Why should you bow to his demands?

You are still both young to be getting married. Dunno what all this rush/hype is for. This is someone you will have to be married to for better or worse, etc till death do you part, unless you don't mind divorce. Please make sure you actually love this guy and picture him being a great husband and great dad before you make any hasty decision.
Re: I Lost Him! by Yemmyc(f): 6:55am On Nov 28, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

@OP
as i was reading your post, i was hoping to see word like:" i love him" etc but nothing like that. if anyone read this post, it seems that you are talking about a simple friend. do you even LOVE this guy, to be talking marriage? (and stalling him)
i do luv him ,i didn't mention dat coz i hate d fact dat he his feelin so insecure.buh 2 b precise i hate how mch i luv him, he his mo than jst a friend, ain't stallin him.
Re: I Lost Him! by Exponental(m): 7:52am On Nov 28, 2011
Dont make marriage sound like an ailment, disease or crime.
Go 4 d marriage, u could av a baby n still further, it depends mainly on ur IQ, let him understand ur points while u try convince abt some conditions will apply.
"Dont 4get, education is a continous process"
Re: I Lost Him! by iyatrustee(f): 12:31pm On Nov 28, 2011
kelz88:

What's the rush? Don't see why he can't wait for you to finish schooling.

Why should you bow to his demands?

You are still both young to be getting married. Dunno what all this rush/hype is for. This is someone you will have to be married to for better or worse, etc till death do you part, unless you don't mind divorce. Please make sure you actually love this guy and picture him being a great husband and great dad before you make any hasty decision.

i have to disagree with ur tots on the bolded. Every lady has her time in the market. there was a time in my early 20's -mid 20's when you had men falling over heels just to toast me. I was dating my hubby then and felt i was too hot for him cos of the other admirers. fast forward to my late 20's and just a few guys looked my way. if becos you think she is still young, there is ample time there you get it all twisted. why do you think guys go for younger girls? the best you can advice her is to wish the guy is understanding enough to postpone having babies with her. Correct me if i am wrong.

Yemmyc:

@iya trustee, i do appreciate your contributn buh marriage ain't as easy as u fink coz ,it ab2t commitment nd dedicatn of your tym nd everyfin pertaining 2 u, i dnt wnt 2 pursue dis 2 fins @ a time MARRIAGE ND EDUCATION,

marriage takes a lot i agree. but the bulk of the work comes with the arrival of your babies. until then, its just life as usual. Marriage and Education are two continuos institutions so sorry to burst your bubble, you must pursue them together either way.
Re: I Lost Him! by kpolli(m): 12:33pm On Nov 28, 2011
sexkillz:

[size=14pt]Op!
I hate when guys are insensitive to the plights of their significant other! He has to understand that you want to wait until you are through with school stress! My advice is for you to stick to your resolve. He is the one that needs to see reasons, NOT you! Dont go back to him for anything just yet. When he is ready, he'll come back to you. If he doesn't come back, just take it that you two were never meant to be together as man and Wife, and then count it as one of those nonentities of Life!. . . Besides, who needs an insensitive man as a husband? How and why would he bring up trust issues now? Because you cant get married now? Rubbish mentality! That means he doesnt trust you? Good he is showing you those skills now. It's men like this that'll want to have their way in the marriage, forgetting that he should consider his wife. . . As long as it is on this issue of him not trusting you enough, to think that your saying NO to his marriage request, means that you are cheating, i'd say stick to your ideology! Dont let him coerce you into an early marriage you dont want. If you two can work something out, and stick to it, like delaying the baby stuff, then go for it. But if he is adamant, and insensitive, remain unshakable! He should know better, having passed through the four walls of the university himself!. . . What an arse!
Of course, it wont be easy making a tough decision and sticking to it, but hell, this is your life and your future we are talking about! If you fail to plan it, you have planned to fail. . . All the best!

He lost You!  wink[/size]

it's sad that i have to agree with sexkillz  sad sad

Truth is, she never told us how old she is and let's not lie, waiting for a degree is no more an excuse. . . . am sure she has married classmates. . . .

But they have only be dating for 2yrs n he is already rushing her, well there is a reason y he is being insecure and trying to rush her, which means he myt not be the good guy these NL girls have been telling her to keep a hold of. . . .

Don't jump into something u wud regret. . . . best u can do is introduction and if too much money is worrying him then u can move in with him and become his responsibility. . . .

I have no problem with them dating for just 2yrs and then getting married, I only have a problem with the fact that she is still a student in a 2yr relationship n he is trying to rush her into marriage. . . . Plus she myt even be a jambite
Re: I Lost Him! by drnoel: 1:11pm On Nov 28, 2011
The story is incomplete ma sister. There are more to the story than what u told us. Like how many other guys u are dating or if he has seen u with any other guys. Giving u an advice will depend on how complete u tell ur story,
Re: I Lost Him! by BCuZiMBlaCk(m): 1:22pm On Nov 28, 2011
Hehehe oya now
Re: I Lost Him! by Nobody: 3:21pm On Nov 28, 2011
Yemmyc:

i do luv him ,i didn't mention dat coz i hate d fact dat he his feelin so insecure.buh 2 b precise i hate how mch i luv him, he his mo than jst a friend, ain't stallin him.

well if you DO love him then:
- have you expressed your love to him?
i dont mean the occasional "i luv u" sms, i mean SHOWING the guy that you do love him. many are too proud/shy to let their partner know how they truly feel.

- have you sat down and expressed your future plans with him.
it may be that this guy truly believe that he will loose you if he doesnt wife you right now.it all comes down to communication. how difficult is it to tell someone:"yes but let me finish my education first"?

- do you "think" he is the ONE or do you "KNOW" he is the ONE?

- shouldnt you have simply said yes? then FIRST become his fiancee for about a year (and see how it works out) then SECOND pick a traditional wedding date about a year from that, and then FINALLY the big wedding about 6 months away. that would give you about 2 and half yr to finish your studies.
my point is that: if you REALLY love and want to MARRY this guy then you will find a solution/compromise rather than just giving up. the fact that you are quick to throw the towel says a lot about how you feel about this r/ship.
Re: I Lost Him! by Talking(m): 3:47pm On Nov 28, 2011
Wislet:

It is in this day and age that education seems to be the all in all in life. Little wonder women get married in their 30s and men 40s. Young kids having old papa and mama as parents. Instead of parents to enjoy their children and youthfulness by still being in their 40s when their kids are in their mid to late 20s, they become too old for their children to relate with. If you have a partner that understands the importance of education, by all means get married and still go to school. You have such a young man who's serious enough to be ready for marriage at 26, when some in their 40s haven't found their feet. Marry young and you'll be happy you did.
^^^ D best reply IMO. Keep it up amigo.
Re: I Lost Him! by Yemmyc(f): 3:56pm On Nov 28, 2011
drnoel:

The story is incomplete ma sister. There are more to the story than what u told us. Like how many other guys u are dating or if he has seen u with any other guys. Giving u an advice will depend on how complete u tell your story,
oh well ma bro, am 23 2 b precise, ain't datin no oda guy xcept though i've got bunch of admirers, am proud 2 say i dnt cheat on me, it hurts 2 knw fins dont work out d way we planned.
Re: I Lost Him! by Yemmyc(f): 4:10pm On Nov 28, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

well if you DO love him then:
- have you expressed your love to him?
i dont mean the occasional "i luv u" sms, i mean SHOWING the guy that you do love him. many are too proud/shy to let their partner know how they truly feel.

- have you sat down and expressed your future plans with him.
it may be that this guy truly believe that he will loose you if he doesnt wife you right now.it all comes down to communication. how difficult is it to tell someone:"yes but let me finish my education first"?

- do you "think" he is the ONE or do you "KNOW" he is the ONE?

- shouldnt you have simply said yes? then FIRST become his fiancee for about a year (and see how it works out) then SECOND pick a traditional wedding date about a year from that, and then FINALLY the big wedding about 6 months away. that would give you about 2 and half yr to finish your studies.
my point is that: if you REALLY love and want to MARRY this guy then you will find a solution/compromise rather than just giving up. the fact that you are quick to throw the towel says a lot about how you feel about this r/ship.
mr brown jay i grab wat u meant in d above comment, heaven knows i tried all ma possible best 2 show 2 him dat i luv, nd said yes 2 his proposal but dat he shld giv me sum time buh he insisted NOW, it nt dat i made up ma mind already,am simply confused on wat 2 do, fenkz 4 ur contributn so far.
Re: I Lost Him! by 2sexy(m): 6:57pm On May 19, 2012
slimyem: hey!relationships are about compromises.
If you do not want anything to affect you education,try and make him uderstand that you'd delay baby-making until you are thru or almost thru with school.if he truly loves you,he'd respect and support you.
Remember,there are not so many great guys out there.
Gbam! Tell her make she hear. I decided to let a girl just for the reason she does not want any relationship any longer even though she knows that I so much loved her. I pleaded for 7 months but d babe say no. I just let her be. Her claims is that she does not want anything to disturb her and that when she is ready, the right person will come for her as if its that easy to find nice guy. I know I am a nice guy and I know how to care for a lady and make her feel like a queen but what this girl does not realise is that my kind her so hard to come by.

She says she would pray about it but honestly no need for prayers in this case because even God is not sleeping.
Re: I Lost Him! by lordkrato(m): 7:54pm On May 19, 2012
sexkillz: [size=14pt]Op!
I hate when guys are insensitive to the plights of their significant other! He has to understand that you want to wait until you are through with school stress! My advice is for you to stick to your resolve. He is the one that needs to see reasons, NOT you! Dont go back to him for anything just yet. When he is ready, he'll come back to you. If he doesn't come back, just take it that you two were never meant to be together as man and Wife, and then count it as one of those nonentities of Life!. . . Besides, who needs an insensitive man as a husband? How and why would he bring up trust issues now? Because you cant get married now? Rubbish mentality! That means he doesnt trust you? Good he is showing you those skills now. It's men like this that'll want to have their way in the marriage, forgetting that he should consider his wife. . . As long as it is on this issue of him not trusting you enough, to think that your saying NO to his marriage request, means that you are cheating, i'd say stick to your ideology! Dont let him coerce you into an early marriage you dont want. If you two can work something out, and stick to it, like delaying the baby stuff, then go for it. But if he is adamant, and insensitive, remain unshakable! He should know better, having passed through the four walls of the university himself!. . . What an arse!
Of course, it wont be easy making a tough decision and sticking to it, but hell, this is your life and your future we are talking about! If you fail to plan it, you have planned to fail. . . All the best!

He lost You! wink[/size]


Freaking kiss-ass....no hard feelings...
Re: I Lost Him! by lordkrato(m): 7:55pm On May 19, 2012
sexkillz: [size=14pt]Op!
I hate when guys are insensitive to the plights of their significant other! He has to understand that you want to wait until you are through with school stress! My advice is for you to stick to your resolve. He is the one that needs to see reasons, NOT you! Dont go back to him for anything just yet. When he is ready, he'll come back to you. If he doesn't come back, just take it that you two were never meant to be together as man and Wife, and then count it as one of those nonentities of Life!. . . Besides, who needs an insensitive man as a husband? How and why would he bring up trust issues now? Because you cant get married now? Rubbish mentality! That means he doesnt trust you? Good he is showing you those skills now. It's men like this that'll want to have their way in the marriage, forgetting that he should consider his wife. . . As long as it is on this issue of him not trusting you enough, to think that your saying NO to his marriage request, means that you are cheating, i'd say stick to your ideology! Dont let him coerce you into an early marriage you dont want. If you two can work something out, and stick to it, like delaying the baby stuff, then go for it. But if he is adamant, and insensitive, remain unshakable! He should know better, having passed through the four walls of the university himself!. . . What an arse!
Of course, it wont be easy making a tough decision and sticking to it, but hell, this is your life and your future we are talking about! If you fail to plan it, you have planned to fail. . . All the best!

He lost You! wink[/size]


Freaking kiss-ass....no hard feelings... undecided undecided undecided
Re: I Lost Him! by Killz1(m): 8:04pm On May 19, 2012
lord krato:


Freaking kiss-ass....no hard feelings... undecided undecided undecided
None taken. . . Jesus loves you. . . smiley










But stop being an Idi[i]o[/i]t! wink
Re: I Lost Him! by iyatrustee(f): 8:08pm On May 19, 2012
^^^^ u ve finally lost it mehn! which one be jesus loves him again? shocked shocked
Re: I Lost Him! by Killz1(m): 8:14pm On May 19, 2012
iyatrustee: ^^^^ u ve finally lost it mehn! which one be jesus loves him again? shocked shocked
I have repented. . . Jesus loves you too. smiley
Re: I Lost Him! by lordkrato(m): 7:59pm On May 21, 2012
iyatrustee: ^^^^ u ve finally lost it mehn! which one be jesus loves him again? shocked shocked

Hurts right wink wink wink
Re: I Lost Him! by pobey(m): 9:37am On Jul 03, 2012
sexkillz: [size=14pt]Op!
I hate when guys are insensitive to the plights of their significant other! He has to understand that you want to wait until you are through with school stress! My advice is for you to stick to your resolve. He is the one that needs to see reasons, NOT you! Dont go back to him for anything just yet. When he is ready, he'll come back to you. If he doesn't come back, just take it that you two were never meant to be together as man and Wife, and then count it as one of those nonentities of Life!. . . Besides, who needs an insensitive man as a husband? How and why would he bring up trust issues now? Because you cant get married now? Rubbish mentality! That means he doesnt trust you? Good he is showing you those skills now. It's men like this that'll want to have their way in the marriage, forgetting that he should consider his wife. . . As long as it is on this issue of him not trusting you enough, to think that your saying NO to his marriage request, means that you are cheating, i'd say stick to your ideology! Dont let him coerce you into an early marriage you dont want. If you two can work something out, and stick to it, like delaying the baby stuff, then go for it. But if he is adamant, and insensitive, remain unshakable! He should know better, having passed through the four walls of the university himself!. . . What an arse!
Of course, it wont be easy making a tough decision and sticking to it, but hell, this is your life and your future we are talking about! If you fail to plan it, you have planned to fail. . . All the best!

He lost You! wink[/size]

When yemmyc is 35 and a working class big babe,she will get a husband after attending all the marriage seminars and vigils organised by pastors,alfas and imams...if Not she will marry her father or one of her uncles..Because by then she will have been too exposed,exprienced and has tasted so many dicks that she herself will be confused
Re: I Lost Him! by olaboy1: 11:22am On Jul 03, 2012
Yemisi, Yemisi, Yemisi (e me lo ni mo pe e). If you are not feeling this relationship anymore, find another bail out plan and not hide under the umbrella of studying. Iyatrustree, thanks for keeping it so real, am so proud of your truthfulness about your life, you are awesome.

Beauty fades and it's the truth. When i visited Nigeria recently, I met a lady i almost gave up my life for admiring and trying everything to get some 9 years ago, but I was shocked to see her looking so drained and ugly and felt a huge sigh of relief for not ending up with her.

Relationships will never come balanced, it's either the guy is the one begging for marriage or it's the lady, in your case you are lucky it's the one begging, but enjoy it whilst it last.

When a man/woman goes through all the troubles of uni life and finally graduates without a waiting job, with age counting along like an uncontrollable counter, then flashbacks of past potential husbands that they have turned down will set in.

My friend's wife was initially refused visa to join him here simply because she failed to use those sweet darling words on the day of her interview to talk about her husband and marriage, I was shocked when i saw the refusal letter with the quote "I are not satisfied that the marriage is subsistence enough, and suspect it's a marriage of convenience as the wife failed to show any emotional attachment". Although they finally won this case on appeal, so Yemmy, i think you have run out of love for this guy. thats my point

(1) (2) (Reply)

Serrious Topic...ladies, Please Advise. / The Truth About What Attracts Women.... / Is It All About Sex This Days?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 70
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.