You and your spouse have spent thousands of Naira educating one of your daughters in medical school. After graduation, the newly minted medical doctor becomes engaged and right after marriage, announces that she will be a stay at home mom either because her husband is well-off, or that a woman's place is in the house. Will you get angry at the 'waste' of resources on her behalf or would you simply say, "It's her life, my spouse and I have fulfilled our duties in making her a literate?"

I'd like to know your viewpoints on this subject.

Ask for your school fees money back.

U av done ur part. The best legacy a parent can leave his kids is the quality of education given. It is time for your daughter to live her life.

The education will show-up one day. By the time Iya xxxxxxx falls into labour in the neighbourhood and the Aproko neighbours know that 'daughter' is a doctor. They will summon her to use what she has learnt . It never leaves you- education that is.

the fact that ANY person could even see it as a waste of resources is amazing!!!!!!
any caring parent would/should simply be happy with whatever choices their child takes (so long as it aint anything illegal), and TRUST her judgment.

also, i do know many children who are FORCED/BLACKMAILED by their parents to go into a certain education field, while that child hates it. . . . . . . . . . and although that child may graduate with flying colors, he/she will have absolutely no interest in that vocation.

//

You have done your part.
The only thing that is mandatory for parents to give their children is a quality education.

I am of the opinion that this COULD (note i said could) stem from the fact that most parents force their kids into a course of study of (the parent's) choosing, not taking into consideration the child's predisposition to learning.

Nothing

But seriously guys, medicine is not the type of course you would acheive and just sit down at home doing nothing, if na 4 year course now, and the lady studied history or i.r.k/c.r.k or yoruba, then sitting at home is an option. Whether her hubby is well-paid or not, at least she should look into practising for a while, before concluding on not working ever.

Infact she can get her hubby to build a hospital for her, and have doctors employed, then she has her own business even if she is not working in that hospital. So many ways to be financially independent.

iice:

To each his/her own.
Many different scenarios.
Personally it's her life.

well said

Must everyone use their acquired education? What's better than being a stay at home mum where you'll have time for your children and family at large.

thats between her and her husband

Can't force her.I can only point out to her,the pros and cons of being a full time 'hausfrau' with no career or business going.

ifyalways:

Can't force her.I can only point out to her,the pros and cons of being a full time 'hausfrau' with no career or business going.

Point of correction. being a house wife is a carreer.

Isn't a waste. Well-educated stay at home is really beneficial for the educational development of kids.

Kids with stay at home doctor moms will probably turn out really well.

.

Op,

I would be pissed and I would make sure the student loans I incurred on her behalf are transferred back to her and her husband to pay up

. :d

afam4eva:

Point of correction. being a house wife is a carreer.

. . .Debatable noni.

dayokanu:

Op,

I would be pissed and I would make sure the student loans I incurred on her behalf are transferred back to her and her husband to pay up

Lol
Ori eja never disappoints.

@Op
Whatever she does with her education is her business & that of her husband so long as she doesn't give excuses whenever I genuinely need her assistance financially as a parent.

Medicine is not those type of course you study and decide to be a stay-at-home mom. it is expensive and time consuming.
Even though it is the choice and life of that child, I will be really disappointed in such child.

Stay at home kini?

Some people Just like awuuf. Her mates are selling fish at the market with 7kids at home, no degree, still they work 16hrs/day.

I hope the rich husband has paid back the school fees.

She obviously doesn't have/no longer has passion for the course she studied. And like a few people pointed out her parents probably made her study medicine. It will definitely come in handy, so it's not a waste of time/money.She is old enough to make her own decisions.

What kind of parents will they be to ask for tuition/expenses back?! Come on!

maybe, some of you dont realize that in America (ok, I used the Naira currency) at times, parents resort to taking out student loans to pay for their wards education. That's the reality of American education because it is regarded as an investment. 

A relative who broached this subject to me told me he would be quite hurt by it because of the vast sum of money spent on her education, particularly if the parents were working class. And I think, I did ask him, ok, had she told you of her long term prospects, would you have declined to pay for her education because of her disinclination towards a career out of the home front. I think he said, it would have made more sense if it was for a liberal arts course but I am gonna pass this piece to him for his comment.

Even in America where women are almost at par with their male counterparts in the corporate world, there are some who simply bid adieus to their career once they get married. As a matter of fact, there are certain groups of women even here in America, who attend colleges, particularly the name brand ones like Harvard and Yale to snag a potential wealthy mate. Go figure if they succeed in hooking up with a hedge fund manager with 3 million dollar salary residing in a plush apartment in Park Avenue, NY, some will feel the return on their college investment is definitely worth it even if they never worked outside home. A friend of mine confided in me that a then co-worker flew out to attend college in California, per her mother's wishes, so she could find herself a rich husband.

Rich husband, Hopefully he's not impotent.

I would not really support her being a full time housewife in a country like Nigeria. I would not make things difficult for her or anything. Just talk to her about considering getting a job on the side, that might or might not be related to what she studied in school.
Reason I would encourage her to get a job is because some Nigerian men can be unscrupulous enough to send her packing out of their matrimonial home because they found a younger hotter woman and she would find it difficult to get ahead in life if she is sent packing from her rich husband's house and doesn't have a job
The husband sustaining a great financial loss or losing his job are also possibilities that necessitate her getting a job.

housewife after studying medicine, is she high?? what'll happen if the husband passes away?

cant force that child now. haba.

Ndipe:

You and your spouse have spent thousands of Naira educating one of your daughters in medical school. After graduation, the newly minted medical doctor becomes engaged and right after marriage, announces that she will be a stay at home mom either because her husband is well-off, or that a woman's place is in the house. Will you get angry at the 'waste' of resources on her behalf or would you simply say, "It's her life, my spouse and I have fulfilled our duties in making her a literate?"

I'd like to know your viewpoints on this subject.

I believe the poster would like to know what you would do or how you would feel as the parent, not as the husband of such a woman or the woman herself

As for me, I know I may not be able to do anything about it if that is what she wants but I sure would feel that I have wasted resources as I must have sacrificed some personal comforts for her to acquire the knowledge.

Education is I believe is primarily for personal development not necessary as a means for getting money. But its hard to have a medical degree and be a sit at home mum. If that's her decision then let her do what she wants since she is an adult.