You are somehow all over the place. Now, you are using the omniscient style of narration (a change from the style you used earlier).
Interesting story nonetheless! A diamond in the rough, you can do better!
Waiting. . .

@lola

I don't have time to switch tenses for now so i have drop these ones for now.

Later on when i get to skool and i am less busy i will check my tenses.

which tense do you think i should use

and again is the story now making sense.

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Basics007:

Bros did you say you are a computer scientist? Pls keep being a computer scientist o.
#IfyouknowWhatIMean

I don't know what you mean but don't worry i will stick to my computer science, it's my field, i just do this for fun, no vex

emöfine:

Sorry mate but your story is not that engaging. It was pretty cringe-worthy unfortunately but it did make me laugh (at the story mainly)
I'm even surprised that the author of such narrative is a male - this is not the style of writing I acquaint with men
It sounds more like a person relaying gossip than a memoir
Permit to ask, [size=16pt]Umar Mash is this memoir loosely based on your life?[/size]

at first yes but after the first 2 paragraphs it became fiction

[size=16pt]MY COCOA[/size] where are you now? reply me joor