She Says 2 Kids Only - Romance - Nairaland
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| She Says 2 Kids Only by pedestal82(m): 10:08am On Feb 18, 2012 |
Am planning a wedding with my pweety, but we are always arguing abt the number of kids we gonna hv, she insist on 2 kids only while I want 6. I luv crowd, grew in a home with plenty of siblings and relatives. Is it wrong to hv that many kids in this day and age? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Mavor: 10:24am On Feb 18, 2012 |
Guy 6 is too much. No be you dey born am and go have to take care of them almost 24/7. You neva marry am yet, u don turn tyrant. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by TisaBone: 11:03am On Feb 18, 2012 |
Six really is a bit much, especially if she wants to have a career, and not just a house wife. Perhaps you could hold off on having all of these children all at once. Have one or two every two or three years. Take a three of four year break, and then have some more. She in time might even change her mind, and go along with what you want. I don't blame your fiance for not wanting six children. If ,my husband insisted I have six children, I'd feel more like a breeder than a wife. I'd also think you wanting me to get stuck with six kids at home was a power play so that I would never be able to leave you. Also, is this the first time ever that you two have discussed the number of children you want? If this is the first time, then that conversation is long overdue and both you should take responsibility for the quagmire sure to arise from not discussing this sooner! Also, have you two taken adoption into consideration? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Excelboi(m): 11:16am On Feb 18, 2012 |
U better reduce am to 4 atleast! 6 is a bit on a high side! |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Freiburger(m): 11:38am On Feb 18, 2012 |
pedestal82:Bringing children one cant provide for to the world is one of the greatest sin. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Nobody: 12:27pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
pedestal82:Six is certainly too much. You want a crowd, she wants just two. Is there some compatibility issue here?  In any case, you shouldn't want six. You shouldn't let nostalgia dictate how you'd run your family. That you grew up inside a crowd is not sufficient reason to want to put your woman's life in danger. Learn to be a bit more modest in family planning. Your prospective wife is right. Two is okay. And I have always thought more than 1 is certainly a crowd? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by NerdyPoet(m): 1:30pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
TisaBone:I love your reply, IMHO , 6 it too much, the OP should also consider the fact that he is not the one going through the pains of labour, He should try and look at things from her own point of view, In this modern world, people don't give birth to that amount now, I think two or three is enough. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by pedestal82(m): 2:27pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Thanks for ur comments Nlanders, @Freiburger, not been able to take care of them is not the issue at all. Capable of doing that.2 kids is certainly too small for me sha. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by pendo89(f): 2:37pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
why not have two first then make up ur mind? am sure those two will make u change ur view. We have this swahili saying 'kuzaa sio kazi ,kazi ni kulea meaning,its no big issue bringing forth a child.The work lies in bringing up the kid. One kid can bring you much satisfaction and joy as 1000 kids. Some parents have a whole football team in the house that they can take care of but there's no harmony,company peace or joy |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by bingbagbo(m): 2:44pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
a dozen is always the best!!!  |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 2:46pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Freiburger: I agree!  pedestal82: Listen to Aunt Chima, you DO NOT want many children in this DAY and AGE. You need to be realistic and take your time. Upendo suggested an excellent strategy, start with two children and if you can afford more children then slowly increase your family. However, do not lose your happiness over something as petty as number of children stipulation. What if you or your wife passes later on in life, then who will help you or your wife take care of 6 kids? Okay, you can find another wife easily, but can your wife find another husband easily? Think about it. Your wife is thinking ahead and knows your financial situation. She knows that you guys can only afford two children at this time. Let your pride go and be happy. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by arrived(m): 3:11pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Op, you no try at all! You want just 6 children, just 6 children and you are shouting. When me am planning on having 22 children. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by pedestal82(m): 3:23pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
@bin gbingbo and arrived, thank God there are ppl having the same thinking with me. That's if u guys are not been sarcastic. @mrs Chima, like ur argument. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by IbroSaunks(m): 5:18pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
whoever is saying 6 is too much is in error. my mum gave birth to 5, and would have had 6 if my dad agreed. it's all about what an individual wants, and having many children has it perks. I for one cherish all my siblings. about he not being able to provide for them, is it not God that provides? there are people with plenty children who are doing well nurturing them comfortably, and there are people with few that find that difficult. however, marriage is a 2 person deal, so if eventually she still does not want 6, ur gonna have to manage that if she's worth it. maybe u can negotiate to 4  note: I think this thread should be moved to the family board. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Killz3(m): 6:04pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
There is absolutely nothing wrong having as much children as you want. I think the most important thing is to make sure the future is secured enough for the kids. 1 or 6, take care of your "produce" and dont expect another person's input in their upbringing! I'll like to salute the courage of you and your pweety. You are having a "future argument", today. This is a very important process in determining the alignment of your future plans together. You want 6, she wants 2, have you asked her the reasons why she is so adamant on maintaining her stance on 2 kids? Have you really told her the passion you have for kids, and why you want 6 kids? You can always reach a compromise. . . At this stage, you both have to make a compromise. Step down 2 notches, and ask her to step up 2 notches. The result is 4 children. That's still fair. But honestly, if you both do not come to an agreement before tying the knots, this issue will creep up in future after the wedding has taken place and it wont be so funny anymore. You DONT have to accept 2 kids simply because she wants you to, neither should she accept 6 simply because you want her to! Reaching a compromise will go a long way to really prove that love that you deemed strong enough to want to make her the mother of your kids. The way this issue is eventually handled will go a long way to show the level of maturity and understanding you both are bringing into the marriage. Waiting till after the first 2 to make up your mind may not really work to your expectations. Trash out the issue before you head to the altar. . . To prevent future emotional & marital catastrophe. Personally i will like a minimum of 2, and a maximum of 4 and i have made up my mind already to settle for 3 if need be. . . Sacrifice! |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Nobody: 6:14pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
op shey wen ur six children start to dey hall u for schoo fees money u no go complain ooo?  fuel subsidy plus the hardship wey full naija na im u wan born six pickins? na wah for u  |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 6:40pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
~Killz~: Talk is cheap. It is easy to say I want this and that and this and that, but when push come to shove IF YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS, you don't know what you can handle until you have kids. I know many couples who have sworn they will have million of children ended up with 2 or 3 kids. Having all the money in the world will not make having kids and raising children easier. People need to be realistic. Talking about it and making an affirmed decision will not change THE CURVE BALL we call LIFE. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Killz3(m): 6:59pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Mrs, Chima: Sorry if i beg to differ. people plan their families, before they actually come. So what's that about not knowing what i can handle until i have kids? I know many couples who have sworn they will have million of children ended up with 2 or 3 kids.course yes! People's orientation change. Individuals think differently, and did you find out why they ended up with 2 or 3 kids? Is it obtainable for everyone? Having all the money in the world will not make having kids and raising children easier. People need to be realistic. Money wont make having kids and raising them easier, but money helps! If he is experienced, and can take care of 6 children, are you to stop him? What if he can take care of kids more than you think he can? Talking about it and making an affirmed decision will not change THE CURVE BALL we call LIFE. What is life? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by tellwisdom: 7:08pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Ever since mshew chima had her children; she has never remained d same  . She cant even pass through a normal door |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Nobody: 7:22pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
tellwisdom:*falls inside rabbit hole* |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 8:18pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
~Killz~: Sure. Curve balls are hilarious. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 8:19pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
tellwisdom: Is that what happened to your mother? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by tellwisdom: 8:25pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Is that what happened to your mother? No Mshew chima . The last time you tried entering McDonald, Chima had to open the 2doors,cos of u |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 8:42pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
tellwisdom: I touched a nerve huh?  If you can dish it, you should be able to take it. |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by arrived(m): 8:42pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
I dey look! |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by arrived(m): 8:48pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
I dey look! |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by tellwisdom: 8:48pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
| Mshew chima, Just go get ur yansh reduced mehnn. . I honestly need to pound it |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Mynd44: 8:57pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
This is interesting |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by pedestal82(m): 9:02pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
@Killz and Mrs Chima, thanks for ur contributions, who says u can't get meaningful advice on NL. And guys no fights on my thread pls, lol! Come to think of it, that's what makes it NL sha! |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by tellwisdom: 9:08pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
Yu are welcome . # Bro, have u seen mshew chima before? |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by Nobody: 9:32pm On Feb 18, 2012 |
6 kids  |
| Re: She Says 2 Kids Only by MrsChima1(f): 4:27am On Feb 19, 2012 |
pedestal82: Don't worry! Killz and I will be back smooching and laughing at each other. We don't hold grudges with each other. (giving Killz a big slobbery kiss on the forehead) |
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