chizeal:
Pls mama's, sorry to disturb u all wif this,

I seriously wanna contact RUKEMI 291 for help or Favour, iItried sending her mail, doh anonymous, didn't go, tru nairaland. Can any mama dat knows her help me out pls, hav asked before on d very day she said she wud nt b active on dis thread for now, bt all to no avail.

Pls dear mama's, help me contact her on my behalf. Tnks

Hey chizeal, why have you been shouting me up and down? I responded to your PMs but you never responded back. Are you so insensitive? Yes I wrote to give assistance to whoever needs it. You should at least be nice enough to understand my present state of mind. I am only trying to be nice to my pregnancy thread family. Mind you, you were writing my moniker wrongly that's why i couldn't see your mention.

Thanks mamas for all the prayers. God bless you all.

Mummyf.. I guess you posted while I was typing. I was discharged from the hospital some days back sef.

@hajarahbadmus Glad to hear you are ok. Maybe baby want to still come in June as earlier planned.

@Genyebere You sound worried,please calm down ok. The Lord is your strength. Try walking and the pineapple thing too.I read somewhere when one mama said she used primrose oil to rippen the cervix. But in all ask your doc before your try anything. It will end in praise.

JOHESU i use God beg una,the strike don do. How many times will you go on strike in one year and keep suffering people. See me wey no keep money to go private hospital. God pass una hooha.

@ All mamas in financial difficulty;God will see us through. Amen.

Rukemi291:


Hey chizeal, why have you been shouting me up and down? I responded to your PMs but you never responded back. Are you so insensitive? Yes I wrote to give assistance to whoever needs it. You should at least be nice enough to understand my present state of mind. I am only trying to be nice to my pregnancy thread family. Mind you, you were writing my moniker wrongly that's why i couldn't see your mention.

Thanks mamas for all the prayers. God bless you all.

Mummyf.. I guess you posted while I was typing. I was discharged from the hospital some days back sef.

Please don't be offended mama. I guess she was desperately in need of help and it didn't make her remember that you're grieving. You know we are one and we are sensitive to everyone's plight. How are you holding up dear?

Haleematm:

im in my 26th week nd my edd says 3rd sept. anodr 1st sept
@Limsycutey at 26wks im i not suppose to b in my third? if im not nd still feel this way how will it b?

U are not in ur third trimester yet,27weeks marks the end of 2nd trimester,so u begin ur third by 28weeks,it confuses alotta peeps too.

Hello lovely mamas. Hope y'all are doing great. Please, permit me to share a story here. Some of you may have seen it already, but I want everyone to see it.
I want you all to give your advise and please help in whatever way you can, because she's actually one of us; a different moniker was used to post the story, and I'm hiding her identity... Please, she's going through a lot already, please, don't bash her.
Please, be patient and read to the end, it's a very long read...
Here goes...



Good day,good people of nairaland.
please i would need your advice and counselling about my marriage. I got married in Dec. 2013 to a man i courted for 6 months, yes 6 months, though we meet and separated for over a year then we came back and got married 6 months later. Before we got married i had other well to to suitors, but i was of the opinion that money isn't everything cos i preferred to marry someone i could struggle with.
During my final months in school was wen i was preparing for my wedding so i was always on my way to Lagos at least twice a month and i spend i week each,so it was like spending 2 weeks in school,2 weeks off school. Because of that i couldnt meet the 70% of attendance other lectures listened to my plight and let it slide but Mr Ali decided he won't and gave me the carry over. All good and fine i will come bck next year and rewrite it so i thought.


To cut Long stories short my hubby did not allow me to go so could not rewrite the carryover and i got only 2 years grace to rewrite it. That was how i lost my 2 years OND certificate. his reason was since i wasn't going for HND there was no need.
I felt all hope was not lost since i never really wanted to work for any one i wanted to be self employed. I went for training in fashion design and completed it, since there was no money to set me up i decided to b doing the little i can from my parlor, i even started working for people, but since hubby was always looking for ways to tell me when to go to work,he will just wake up one morning and decide that today i wouldn't be going to work,so i wasn't steadfast because of unofficial absenteeism, they would have to look for some one else.
I kept on searching cos i hate idleness, i ended up working for up to 7 different fashion house,i had to leave for the same reason. Until the day he boldly told me he doesn't want me searching for job any more. since then i have been a stay at home wife.


All through those 2 years was the worst of my life cos of childlessness, i was battling to be stable in my finances, i was trying to be a good wife, and oooohhh God pregnancy was not forth coming. I cried to God, i prayed like i never,ever did,i don't have money to start seeking for alternative. My hubby will always not hesitate to remind me how he won't remain childless for the rest of his life( marrying a second wife) it got to a point i told him if he can he should get a wife, cos the pressure from him was so much,you wouldn't even believe we were less than 2 years in marriage. He went on and on telling any one who cared to hear how unserious i was in getting pregnant.
In it all the only consolation i got was from his mother who kept assuring me i would carry my own children.
Hmmmmm after all said and done, thank God i got a big fat possitive when i least expected it am almost due,to bring forth my little one and Yes its a BOY.


ok now let's talk about my family.
Am from a polygamous home, my father is married to 4 wives, and of course he is an igbo man, he use to be very rich,he lived his life in extravagance without any single investment not even a Hoe and that was part of the reason i never wanted to marry a rich man(does any reasonable person has that kind of mentality)My mum is the second wife,her business was doing good when Dad was ok, but came crumbling when she was the only source of livelihood. For now mum and Dad got nothing, they live from hand to mouth,infact that was part of the reason i married early,to avoid relying on men for money.
During my traditional marriage my mum wept all through cos of the way the list was slashed infact, they did less than 1/3 of the whole process and i wasnt even helping matters as i was shouting iam not being sold, the whole process was like they were pricing crayfish in the market,that didn't bother me, i was just happy iam getting married, my mum wept her eyes out,now i understand why she was crying.
My hubby hated my mum since the saying she likes money too much, since i got married am not sure they ve talked on phone up to 3 times, infact the last time my mum called him and was like why dont you use to call me, he bluntly told her that he does not owe her any call.
Same goes for my elder sister, she is very outspoken, unlike me, and he hates her for that, when ever she come around, he becomes even more angry, this has created a distance between me and my family, no one is allowed to come in contact with me,am just isolated, if i have problems i don't knw who to call


Now my major issues are, he smokes India hemp,he does not support me financially, and to crown it all he beats me at every giving oppurtunity,.
He was smoking when we meet,part of the reason we broke up before was cos he smokes, but he stopped during our courtship and now its worse, i hate smokers, but because he smokes its like hypocrisy to say i hate it.
Now you didnt allow me to work, and you wouldn't take care of me, since we got married he hasn't for one day given me money to make my hair as in not even by mistake that didn't bother me i ended up cutting the hair,the only clothe he has ever bought for me was our traditional wedding clothe,that didnt bother me am a designer i will join one or 2 pcs together and am good, the child you were causing havoc for will b here soon and we are not half prepared Yes this bothers me, is it that you don't have as you always claim, or just being wicked.
When ever i say lets talk about it you feel insulted, you end up insulting my mum and if i ask you not to, you end up beating me, you wake me up in the middle of a nap and ask me to cook,sweep or wash,of course i use to do them but now i can't, you feel insulted and end up beating me, they said all we need is communication, am not the talking type any time i become grieved and decide to pour my heart to you, you ll say am insulting you and you end up beating me
Am in a marriage that i don't enjoy anything, not peace, not happiness, not love, not freedom, but i still want to stay, what will i go bck and tell my mum,what will people say, what will i fall bck on when i leave,what will happen to my child,
this are the reason am still in the marriage not because am happy or satisfied.


All these started as soon as we got married so i can't say what propelled it, he always tell me,he is going to quit, i realized he is not happy, i thought it was because of the childlessness, and i always console my self that it would be better, but no improvement. the marriage is so shabby as the both of us aren't satisfied or happy, i cant call my hubby a friend as the only conversation we have is about money, quarrels, and insults, he is 9 yrs older.
Am so confused, i just want to know if i keep pressing will this marriage work. Cos i cant let my kid's suffer from this emotional torture...



This is the reason I was sad two days ago/yesterday. We cannot allow this continue...
Please, I want us to help in whatever way we can.
Please advise, bring up suggestions, assist in whatever way you can...
Let's help one of our own...
Thanks everyone...
Please, remember, no bashing... We talked, and she's ready to take steps to make things better.

Over to you Mamas zaynie and mitchyy...

@ginababy your head they der....anyways congrasts to all may mama's dropping it like it hot..

1: just been going through emotional stress that made me switch of But I thank God am still breathing and baby is still kicking..
2: been sad since yesterday my very good friend lost her baby immediately after giving birth...her pregnancy was one hectic one she was meant to give birth since April, why she didn't induce can't say last week called her and ask did you go for scan she said Yes, and they told her baby was OK..really don't know what happened sha But in all I give thanks.. as for me too tired to type oooo...

[sup][/sup]

hajarahbadmus:
Ma'am zaynie..i dey here o!
Please how do people without generator cope! O boy! No be small thing o! Our generator didn't come on last night and the repairer wasn't reachable..and I just realised that phcn didn't restore light for close to 48hours now... my battery went flat..the heat was somethingelse..the night was so long that I was anxiously waiting for daybreak...ko i
Naija what is the way forward na? O ga o!

Back to the matter...my doctor has refused to induce me...water is dripping in trickles but he says my cervix isn't open and he doesn't want to take any risk..
I am 38weeks and 1 day gone..my doctor said the amniotic fluid is still adequate and I can still be pushed till I'm 39weeks.. he said I shld make sure I take plenty of water and stop being on my feet...
My husband now calls me a penguin..i don tire..
As ma'am zaynie advised, I and my Lil man brisked walked round my compound 20times 2days ago, and we played ball after...
But instead of contractions, my pelvic bone hurts sooo much that laying down is a problem..
I did it again yesterday and nothing yet..i am resting today sha tho I might decide to take a walk outside in the evening..
Ma'am ginababy...dnt worry, na small e remain aii
Ma'am GenyEbere it's possible to start contracting without the cervix being open..i advise you go for long walks to hasten the process.. may God strengthen you
Ma'am Enkaydewdrop op you are good..e don hook you for hand? Pele..may God make it easy..
June mamas how the waddling dey go?
4days to the month of June..
#team June for swift delivery

Even if he won't induce you, I hope he gave you antibiotics cos once you start losing amniotic fluid you and the baby are at risk of getting an infection...please find out from another doctor if possible.

Thanks for sharing it Enkaydewdrop. We know everyone here has financial responsibilities to handle, so if we can't help this distressed mama out financially, let's at least give viable suggestions on how she can get out of this mess. I'm really worried about her health and the health of her baby because she is due soon. Please let's handle this and help her. We shouldn't have any more sad stories here again, its not too late to save her from the clutches of this man.

We are thinking of contacting an NGO that helps women suffering from domestic violence. Other suggestions are welcome...

kinginvalhala4:

Am I welcome?

Welcome, I just love seeing men that care so much about their spouse. Keep reading and gathering info, she will love and commend you for all that in the nearest future.

From her other thread the advise given was for her to go back to her mum then life can start from there.
Even if she goes to ngo,they will ask her to move out first for her safty.
My advise is to go back to her mum then any little help we can gv we will do it.
Cc
Mitchyy n enkaydewdrop

ozycy:

Welcome, I just love seeing men that care so much about their spouse. Keep reading and gathering info, she will love and commend you for all that in the nearest future.

Thanks for this sweetheart. it takes a woman with an understanding and caring heart to appreciate a man's that came to seek knowledge in the gathering of women.

*kisses for you*

rukemi291, hugs dear it is well im sure its an oversight. how are you doing? you are comforted on every side

Tnks mummyf.

She should go back to her family no matter what happened. forget shame o. Like the prodigal son story, she may be surprised to see outstreched arms waiting to receive her. Fortunately, she has a skill that can set her up and her child. A man who doesn't feed u, clothe u, give u happiness, what is his use? s.x? Using ur child as an excuse to stay with a man who doesnt even care for the child is foolish - sorry to use that word.

Sorry RUKEMI 291, am so oooo sorry to disturb u in dis present state, didn't knw how dis pms work, sorry for my insensitive nature, pls forgive my ignorance, including all mama's here.

Tnks for ur understanding.

chizeal:
Sorry RUKEMI 291, am so oooo sorry to disturb u in dis present state, didn't knw how dis pms work, sorry for my insensitive nature, pls forgive my ignorance, including all mama's here.

Tnks for ur understanding.

You're still quoting her wrongly dear. Her moniker is Rukemi291 and not Rukemi 291. There is no space in between.
Don't worry, just give her sometime please. The loss of a child is extremely difficult to deal with. And why don't you even state what your challenge is here and see if one or two mamas can help?

Enkaydewdrop, i think the best thing now is to go back home. forget what people will say. so she can at least be sane. then she should try picking the pieces first try get a job or handwork. other things will take shape.

mignone:

God help us in dis country.chei! poor/common man don suffer be dt; bt what is it all about this time ma'am?

They are demanding for the promises that were made to them but not implemented till now. Promotions, uniform allowance etc

dhabeautyjas:
Enkaydewdrop, i think the best thing now is to go back home. forget what people will say. so she can at least be sane. then she should try picking the pieces first try get a job or handwork. other things will take shape.

She even has a handwork already. She designs clothes and i'm sure she can manage with that. But you know now that she is very heavy and almost due, it'll be hard to work. Even when baby comes, she still might not be strong enough to work. That's her major fear. How she's going to cope. Because the mum cannot cater for her

mymoneygrows:
She should go back to her family no matter what happened. forget shame o. Like the prodigal son story, she may be surprised to see outstreched arms waiting to receive her. Fortunately, she has a skill that can set her up and her child. A man who doesn't feed u, clothe u, give u happiness, what is his use? s.x? Using ur child as an excuse to stay with a man who doesnt even care for the child is foolish - sorry to use that word.

My major fear is the man hurting the child. Because if he can beat her up with a baby inside her, the child doesnt matter to him at all. I just wish i had finished my law degree, i'll specialize in taking up cases like these pro bono and make sure the man stays behind bars

Aim07:
This is really sad for me o, i have just been sacked from my place of work for no obvious reason......plus my hubby is not working right now..........planning with him to establish so that he can establish a laundry business.......God, my life is in ur hands o......pls remember me in ur prayers

Wow! I hope it isn't Diamond Bank? Cus dey sacked 800 workers today. Don't let it bring you down. Spring to action asap and think of what you and hubby can do to make money to survive. God help us this period sha

mymoneygrows:


Haaa. Na double blessing be that o. Just pray your Lo is the sucking type if not, you will have to be squeezing it out to have peace or be padding the breast ...

Ewo! I tire o for the rush wey d breast dey rush,all breast milk don leak finish.i use pad already o. My baby better like breast milk o.

The man is an addict.
They never change and it might get worse.

Let her leave biko. It's not by force.
Forget what people will say.
Carry yourself n baby with dignity

Some people get pregnant in their parents house and heaven didn't fall.
Atleast they witnessed your wedding n u stayed.
For the sake of your son, leave n pit yourself together.
If he realises his mistake n repents truly, u might want to consider after staying away for a long while.

Just separate for now n get yourself together.
If we know how to assist, we would.

Your life n that of your baby is more important than any man or marriage.

Pack what u can pack n run away.
Call someone to help when he is away, let him start looking for you.

God would guide u.

What is it with this period sef? Economy crashing, things expensive, workers being sacked. I thought since i'm running a business i'll be left out. But for where? Me and dh don dey pursue our clients to pay us for months now. All our money just hang for outside. Not even a kobo has come in for a month now. They just don't want me to shop for my Hansel. Who did Nigeria offend? The thing don reach me for neck!!!

I think the lady shd leave her husband's house...my mum also had similar challenge with my dad,she had to pack out and take us to our grandparents place.she is a fashion designer too.she struggled alone to c us tru our financial and educational needs.now she has no regret, we even enjoyed more than wen we were wit our dad.infact God knos i would v bn mayb a breadseller now if we are still with him.All thanks GOD,i teach now and hoping to be a lecturer in communication soon,and litu sis is in he 3rd year in skl now.no mata the challenges,ur family will open dia hands to welcome you home and help take care of your baby.DAT MAN WILL KILL YOY IF YOU STAY.RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE SIS

mitchyy:


Wow! I hope it isn't Diamond Bank? Cus dey sacked 800 workers today. Don't let it bring you down. Spring to action asap and think of what you and hubby can do to make money to survive. God help us this period sha

I heard 400 this morning.
Plenty people could not log in. They even forced password reset for everyone.
Crazy sh...it
God help us.

Gud evening mamas in d Hus happy pushing and happy independence day to our children.......Pls its me again (FTM) we just returned from our 6weeks appointment my DD has been crying nonstop is thr anything I can do to calm her apart from paracetamol or ibuprofen? Am even crying with her cos its swollen

Pls am sorry for going abt dis d wrong way. It's so selfish of me, wud nt speak of it.
Tnks for repriminding me.

Hmmmm I'm speechless!

Rukemi291 please don't be offended with chizeal! How are you holding up darling? It is well with you.

Shawrygal how are you today? Is the castor oil working or has the eagle landed already? Praying for you sis, it will end in praise.

ifyjip:
Gud evening mamas in d Hus happy pushing and happy independence day to our children.......Pls its me again (FTM) we just returned from our 6weeks appointment my DD has been crying nonstop is thr anything I can do to calm her apart from paracetamol or ibuprofen? Am even crying with her cos its swollen

soak a wash cloth in cold water not ice o! And place on the thigh! Don't rub or massage it o shell be fine by 2morow its the penta that ish can so pain ehn.

Good evening mama,abeg pls help me with dis mata ooo i am 11wiks+,got a watery,sticky discharge dat smells n looks like husband's semen,tho it came out just for dat moment n stopped.could it b d sperm from d day b4 yesterday's kpekusin or make i run go hospital sharpaly.pls advice me ooo

chizeal:
Pls am sorry for going abt dis d wrong way. It's so selfish of me, wud nt speak of it.
Tnks for repriminding me.

Come on, tell us what the problem is now? Is it a private matter?