Harpesin:

I'm sure both of u forgot that this is Africa not US/UK...Have you noticed the rate of divorce in abroad and have you ever asked why? Its a pity that we have not desist from emulating bad things from these so call white e.g (bad dressing, music, religion, etc now is affecting our marriage ....Remember that God place man above woman in the bible Gen 3 v 16 (Your desire shall be for your husband,And he shall rule over you.”).... before going into marriage you need to know the culture and ready to follow ....if the man did not drop money while leaving in the morning and coming back in the evening asking for food we will say the woman is right to some extent but according to the story it is not stated the reason for the issue why on earth will an African woman do such.....truly if the man decide to eat outside without having in mind to cheat he will be convinced to cheat by the kind of services he will receive outside, there are thousands of women outside there who have lost their opportunity (home) due to such attitude and now praying for second chance, once such woman grab a man who need care.....she will give more that enof..@ poster advice your friend to keep her home by doing the right things, there are other ways of handling issues in marriage.....remember ...A word is enof for a wise....

So that the woman did not dish out food not cook it oooo, ''dish out food'' will lead to divorce even here in America? So lets assume there was no quarrel in the first place, lets just assume the woman was busy doing something else the hubby cannot stroll; into the kitchen pick up a plate and dish out food for himself Heyyy!!! wonders has no end infact.

hefner:

Some dudes should just get over their inferiority complexes sha. We can see who is really immature. Must you degenerate to abusing someone for stating his/her opinion. You nor rhyme at all

Harpesin:

I'm sure both of u forgot that this is Africa not US/UK...Have you noticed the rate of divorce in abroad and have you ever asked why? Its a pity that we have not desist from emulating bad things from these so call white e.g (bad dressing, music, religion, etc now is affecting our marriage ....Remember that God place man above woman in the bible Gen 3 v 16 (Your desire shall be for your husband,And he shall rule over you.”).... before going into marriage you need to know the culture and ready to follow ....if the man did not drop money while leaving in the morning and coming back in the evening asking for food we will say the woman is right to some extent but according to the story it is not stated the reason for the issue why on earth will an African woman do such.....truly if the man decide to eat outside without having in mind to cheat he will be convinced to cheat by the kind of services he will receive outside, there are thousands of women outside there who have lost their opportunity (home) due to such attitude and now praying for second chance, once such woman grab a man who need care.....she will give more that enof..@ poster advice your friend to keep her home by doing the right things, there are other ways of handling issues in marriage.....remember ...A word is enof for a wise....

ronkebp, jennykadry, outstrip.. I hope the three of you are reading this... Make una they form yankee for africa .. misplaced priorites Mstchew!!!

@Harpesin well done help me advise them so dat them go get better husband marry and they shld drop all those rubbish ideas and mentalities they picked up from watching foreign movies or tv shows and emulating alien cultures....

ronkebp:

So that the woman did not dish out food not cook it oooo, ''dish out food'' will lead to divorce even here in America? So lets assume there was no quarrel in the first place, lets just assume the woman was busy doing something else the hubby cannot stroll; into the kitchen pick up a plate and dish out food for himself Heyyy!!! wonders has no end infact.

babe stick to the topic @ hand and not deviate

learn to be ursef no mata wat! If u hav issues, vent out ur anger, discuss on d way forward and let it end there and then. Don't put up a facade n store up anger inside. It definately leads to more terrible tins later on in marriage. If not serving him is a way to express ur displeasure, do it, discuss on d way forward n let it end there plus don't make it habitual!

debrief08:
My dear I didnt even want to comment when i saw the ones on how that will make him cheat. My Lord, I am dealing with mood swings now and I didnt know how i will react so i just kept quiet. Is a wife so valueless in Nigeria now that any small issue will automatically be an excuse for the man to cheat and will be justified? Is that what we have reduced our wives too? I had to de-learn every thing I previously thought I nknew about marriage and re learn, When I read somethings here my heart just sinks, haba, How does a human being who is meant to be a partner and helpmate get reduced to the level i see here. If you dont give hime s3x everytime even when you are sick he will cheat, if you do this he will cheat.
I am not in anyway tolerating the womans actions whioch i regard as totally childish but I am just so sad that everything is an excuse or a reason to cheat.

Men that cheat on their wives after little aguement, has been noursing the idea in their head before the aguement. I can't cheat on my wife for whatever reason, Why? because i fear God, have respect for the covenant of marriage that we have, i love and respect my wife and will do my best not to break her trust and above all, i don't want my children to hate me whent they grow up. Don't be discourage about marriage, their are individual diiferences and nothing is impossible with God.

But if my wife makes it a habit of refusing to serve me food or even cook after an aguement, then their is something she has not learnt. what men love most in marriage is, respect, Sex, Food etc. therefore, i will seat her down and talk it over with her, if she won't refuse me sex because of aguement, food shouldn't be an excption. (any way, marriage is a full time ministry -so to say and must be given all it takes.

too many feminist f'cks in here

In some issues let us reason the African way, sometimes all this oyinbo mentality wd only bring more problem.

How can not dishing out food be a solution to a problem between husband and wife, i hope when the husband stops contributing to feeding allowance no one would call him names.

It depends on the cause of the mis understanding.

free2ryhme:

Must you justify your anger by not serving his meal? what is this world turning into

Free to rhyme, did you see the part where i said i personally do not keep malice? You replied to my post without fully reading everything i said.

people deal with anger differently. My former bf would not talk to me for 3 days if we had a quarrel even if he was at fault. He just preferred that we do not talk about it. How is that different from someone refusing to serve her husband food or in some cases denying their partner intimacy?

I think that when couples quarrel, they should be more concerned about settling issues in a mature manner, and i clearly stated that in my last post.

Men are too quick to cry foul when it involves a woman's action. what about when the woman serves the food and the man refuses to eat? What about when the man refuses to have sex with his wife, even if the quarrel was his fault. African culture is all about making the woman seen and not heard. If i have to become a robot or non thinking/feeling being in my marriage, then i do not want any part of that.

So if the man continually misbehaves, a woman is not expected to register her displeasure? Like i said, in my last relationship, my bf took advantage of the fact that i wouldnt keep malice or give him the silent treatment. That did not stop him from cheating. A man go everly do wetin de him mind. Sadly they will always blame their BS on the woman whether it is her fault or not

Agbenyiess:

Men that cheat on their wives after little aguement, has been noursing the idea in their head before the aguement. I can't cheat on my wife for whatever reason, Why? because i fear God, have respect for the covenant of marriage that we have, i love and respect my wife and will do my best not to break her trust and above all, i don't want my children to hate me whent they grow up. Don't be discourage about marriage, their are individual diiferences and nothing is impossible with God.

But if my wife makes it a habit of refusing to serve me food or even cook after an aguement, then their is something she has not learnt. what men love most in marriage is, respect, Sex, Food etc. therefore, i will seat her down and talk it over with her, if she won't refuse me sex because of aguement, food shouldn't be an excption. (any way, marriage is a full time ministry -so to say and must be given all it takes.

You are a real man, we need more of you around here. It is silly and childish for any woman to deny her husband food or s3x, it is also childish for a husband not to take leadership of his home and resort to malice keeping. A husband like you are wonderfully doing should love his wife and never seek to hurt her, a wife should respect and totally submit to her husband these are the 2 basic instructor manuals for marriages but what we have now are men who have no respect of love for their wives, kids or marriage. Very sad.

That's what usually occur when you get married to an immature woman. Food on the table actually has nothing to do wth feud that has erupted btw the both parties. Men are likely not eat the woman's food but in case where women flaunts first, then she has no respect for the man!

Agbenyiess:

Men that cheat on their wives after little aguement, has been noursing the idea in their head before the aguement. I can't cheat on my wife for whatever reason, Why? because i fear God, have respect for the covenant of marriage that we have, i love and respect my wife and will do my best not to break her trust and above all, i don't want my children to hate me whent they grow up. Don't be discourage about marriage, their are individual diiferences and nothing is impossible with God.

But if my wife makes it a habit of refusing to serve me food or even cook after an aguement, then their is something she has not learnt. what men love most in marriage is, respect, Sex, Food etc. therefore, i will seat her down and talk it over with her, if she won't refuse me sex because of aguement, food shouldn't be an excption. (any way, marriage is a full time ministry -so to say and must be given all it takes.

God bless you, your children and children's children

chaircover: If she has been the one cooking for the man from the onset, then No it is not normal and it is childish especially as in the next week or so she will be cooking for the same man.

People should learn to deal with their issues maturely. Yes she is annoyed about something (everyone has a right to be angry at their spouse if he/she misbehaves) but the best way is to sit the man down and discuss it like the adults that they are, sort it out and leave it at that.

This is how long term trouble starts; what if after a week her anger goes down and she starts cooking for him, only for the man to refuse her food.

One of my pet hates is childish mind games. It really annoys me.

this is the only post in this thread. The rest are deluded rants of frustrated women.

My Opinion - Women are emotional beings and act likewise especially when they are angry. However, this (not serving your husband food) is not a logical thing to do. It is just like ignoring your responsibility in the office because your boss hurts your feelings. Understanding our roles in relationships and marriages is very important. Certainly, there will be issues, even flimsy ones but this does not empower us to take it out on our partner in the name of proving a point. It will only make things worst.

For those who say the man who go elsewhere to eat and also cheat. Please, a man will cheat on a woman even without any reason. Men please we know the truth, we should stop deceiving these women. A man will cheat on you even if he loves you.

jennykadry: Same way some women deny their husbands sex after a quarrel

Prostitutes will surely have a field day!

omosexy1: My Opinion - Women are emotional beings and act likewise especially when they are angry. However, this (not serving your husband food) is not a logical thing to do. It is just like ignoring your responsibility in the office because your boss hurts your feelings. Understanding our roles in relationships and marriages is very important. Certainly, there will be issues, even flimsy ones but this does not empower us to take it out on our partner in the name of proving a point. It will only make things worst.

For those who say the man who go elsewhere to eat and also cheat. Please, a man will cheat on a woman even without any reason. Men please we know the truth, we should stop deceiving these women. A man will cheat on you even if he loves you.

nice post. Thank you.

The double standards, standardly ridiculous. If it were the man serving food people will come here and lament that the woman is a witch. So if a man is angry at his wife and is not in the mood for sex should he inject his penis with cement and force sex in a situation that required a completely different sort of attention, does the sense of women on nl not go beyond foolishness? I mean i understand men to come here and chat rubbish but to all the women i am dissapointed. At the op yes it is very normal to be pissed off and not in the mood for jolly dinner time, serving dinner like all is well is like pouring water into a bucket full of holes, covering a hole in the wall with paint, sitting on a broken chair, the problem is there and will not go away no matter what until you pay attention to it. If the woman is being childish and the man is hungry he will find a way to settle the argument asap! Nonsense and ingredients!

queensmith: The double standards, standardly ridiculous. If it were the man serving food people will come here and lament that the woman is a witch. So if a man is angry at his wife and is not in the mood for sex should he inject his penis with cement and force sex in a situation that required a completely different sort of attention, does the sense of women on nl not go beyond foolishness? I mean i understand men to come here and chat rubbish but to all the women i am dissapointed. At the op yes it is very normal to be pissed off and not in the mood for jolly dinner time, serving dinner like all is well is like pouring water into a bucket full of holes, covering a hole in the wall with paint, sitting on a broken chair, the problem is there and will not go away no matter what until you pay attention to it. If the woman is being childish and the man is hungry he will find a way to settle the argument asap! Nonsense and ingredients!

lolol, this cracked me up to no end. My dear i tire for double standard o when it comes to women matter. The one that rubs me the wrong way is that it is the culture. My parents are Nigerians, born and bread in the village, yet i have never seen my dad treat my mom like a lesser being or go out and cheat on her because she refused to serve him food due to her annoyance from a quarrel. When you point the double standard out, then it becomes an argument of having a westernized mind and how your marriage will not succeed because African marriage is different.

Once again, i think that childish behaviors during quarrels happen on both sides and the goal should be to sort out issue rather than get even with your spouse. But to each their own sha

Miss EZ:

Free to rhyme, did you see the part where i said i personally do not keep malice? You replied to my post without fully reading everything i said.

people deal with anger differently. My former bf would not talk to me for 3 days if we had a quarrel even if he was at fault. He just preferred that we do not talk about it. How is that different from someone refusing to serve her husband food or in some cases denying their partner intimacy?

I think that when couples quarrel, they should be more concerned about settling issues in a mature manner, and i clearly stated that in my last post.

Men are too quick to cry foul when it involves a woman's action. what about when the woman serves the food and the man refuses to eat? What about when the man refuses to have sex with his wife, even if the quarrel was his fault. African culture is all about making the woman seen and not heard. If i have to become a robot or non thinking/feeling being in my marriage, then i do not want any part of that.

So if the man continually misbehaves, a woman is not expected to register her displeasure? Like i said, in my last relationship, my bf took advantage of the fact that i wouldnt keep malice or give him the silent treatment. That did not stop him from cheating. A man go everly do wetin de him mind. Sadly they will always blame their BS on the woman whether it is her fault or not

I am sorry about what happened btw you and your Bf and how he took advantage of you and cheated on you but the question on this Thread states that "Is It Normal For A Wife To Ignore Serving Her Husband Food?". this is not a case of bf and gf but Man and woman under a covenant with God. You have made him your head by taken that oath. Are you saying you will disrespect him at the slightest excuse even go as far as not serving his food. Then what example are you setting as a mother and a wife to the whole world even if we are not watching? I am not defending the man whatsoever but I believe that the woman must make her home her priority and thats including serving the meal in an event of conflict

queensmith: The double standards, standardly ridiculous. If it were the man serving food people will come here and lament that the woman is a witch. So if a man is angry at his wife and is not in the mood for sex should he inject his penis with cement and force sex in a situation that required a completely different sort of attention, does the sense of women on nl not go beyond foolishness? I mean i understand men to come here and chat rubbish but to all the women i am dissapointed. At the op yes it is very normal to be pissed off and not in the mood for jolly dinner time, serving dinner like all is well is like pouring water into a bucket full of holes, covering a hole in the wall with paint, sitting on a broken chair, the problem is there and will not go away no matter what until you pay attention to it. If the woman is being childish and the man is hungry he will find a way to settle the argument asap! Nonsense and ingredients!

I wasnt expecting anything else.

So if the husband is angry at the wife who happens to be a housewife too, He should not drop money for food. If hungers deals with her she would make peace.

In cases where the husband uses his car to drop the wife at work everyday, whenever there is a quarell the husband should also refused to take her in his car to her job.

Maybe if the woman/man is sick because the other partner is angry, they should also refuse to tend to him/her

VERY SOUND LOGIC FROM YOU

In cases where the husband uses their car to drop the wife at work everyday, whenever there is a quarell the husband should also refused to take her in their car.

their car?

tpia@:



their car?

What if it was the husbands car? What if it was their car and the woman doesnt drive

it's still their car or maybe i dont get your point.

if its one of those fancy or olden days/antique cars which has sentimental value then maybe he could have dibs on that one and say its his car.

but if the car is used to transport your family, then why the my car talk.

is something wrong with the margins on nl?

I sincerely don't think that's a nice way to sanction her partner.She should just try to control such angers in the dinning or bedroom.Ofcourse, he might have done something stupendously wrong but she shouldn't pull something would be unable to control when he's out for alternatives.

free2ryhme:

I am sorry about what happened btw you and your Bf and how he took advantage of you and cheated on you but the question on this Thread states that "Is It Normal For A Wife To Ignore Serving Her Husband Food?". this is not a case of bf and gf but Man and woman under a covenant with God. You have made him your head by taken that oath. Are you saying you will disrespect him at the slightest excuse even go as far as not serving his food. Then what example are you setting as a mother and a wife to the whole world even if we are not watching? I am not defending the man whatsoever but I believe that the woman must make her home her priority and thats including serving the meal in an event of conflict

Thanks much mate. I will never disrespect my husband, atleast that is not my mindset and will never be. But i think we also have to acknowledge that people deal with issues differently and we truly dont know what kind of quarrel they had. Would i personally refuse my husband something because we are fighting, probably not. But that doesnt mean that i will now judge someone who handles emotional issues differently.

I am also pointing out that both men and women tend to act childishly in such situations, so why the double standard? Once again, i think that whenever couples have an issue, they should both settle it in mature terms. And that means that sometimes, someone has to be the bigger person and reach out even if the other person is at fault. If the wife refuses to serve food, the man can respond in such a way to calm her down. is that too much to ask?

Someone said....By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher .

tpia@:
it's still their car or maybe i dont get your point.

if its one of those fancy or olden days/antique cars which has sentimental value then maybe he could have dibs on that one and say its his car.

but if the car is used to transport your family, then why the my car talk.

If I bought the car, then its my car cos if I refuse to make the payment, Its me the bank chases, If we both bought it then its our car.

Moreover thats beside the point

Even in cases where its our car and the wife dont drive, Is it ok for the husband to refuse to drive her?

Is it ok for the husband to refuse to leave feeding money in cases where the wife is a housewife or lost her job because he is angry?

i didnt follow the thread, actually.

its never ok to be intentionally wicked for no good reason.

be the bigger person.

Someone said..."I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Honestly, some women are TERRORISTS Any woman that denies her sweet husband food or the other thing because of tintiri quarrel is a terrorist

dayokanu

if you use your money to buy feeding bottle for your baby, does that make it your feeding bottle?