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Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? - Family - Nairaland

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I will deny my husband sex until he pays his debt — wife / Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner During A Fight / Is It Normal For A Wife To Ignore Serving Her Husband Food (2) (3) (4)

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Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by isalegan2: 2:46pm On Jul 23, 2012
Would you also punish your children by denying them food?

I was the sole African in a group of half a dozen Black women, when the discussion turned to denying your husband food because he made you angry. A quick-tempered woman who had complained about her husband's insensitivity towards her brought up the issue. Minutes earlier she had also embarrassed her 40-year old husband in front of a mixed group, including the aforementioned women, a couple of adult male friends of the husband, some children including the couple's, by correcting him over some pointless thing. embarassed

Surprisingly the other women including a teenage girl all agreed with her, that, "oh yeah, it's fine to not cook for him. . .afterall he made you mad and you're fighting."

My opposing view was that:
- Nutrition is a the first need of any living thing, so this punishment is beyond the pale;
- If it is your role to prepare the food, then it is something you should do regardless, and find other means to express your outrage;
- What if he decides to not do something that is his ascribed duty, such as driving you to work the following day, or mowing the lawn?
- Would you refuse to feed your children if they behaved badly?
- How much worse would the acrimony in your household be and how more long-lasting if you escalate things by withholding food?

My viewpoint was met with "oh you're going to be a submissive wife."

I mean, seriously!

Good thing is, these people are not my friends, and I probably will never have to waste time talking to them again. angry undecided

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by EfemenaXY: 3:04pm On Jul 23, 2012
Well, if the man learns how to cook, then he won't have to subject himself to this form of punishment would he?

Honestly, I find it irritating that in this day and age, Nigerians think it's cool to parade majority of our men as inefficient people in the kitchen / unable to cook.

Both my dad and father-in-law have been fantastic cooks. My hubby holds his own down in the kitchen too. I've taught my sons how to cook and still teaching them, especially during the holidays. This is just one of many ways I'm helping them on the road to living independent lives.

Any guy who is worth his salt will drop the false ego act, get into the kitchen and learn how to cook!

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MissyB3(f): 3:24pm On Jul 23, 2012
It's not right to punish anyone by starving them. But, there will be times you're too mad, troubled or not in the right frame of mind to accord him or anyone else the luxury they are accustomed to. And, they ought to accept it, as long as it's not a routine.

By the way, I'd rather starve or feed myself than be served by someone harboring ire.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by isalegan2: 3:29pm On Jul 23, 2012
Lemme be clear: we're talking about doing things out of spite to get back at others and not realising/accepting you're doing irreparable damage to your relationship. Not about whether or not someone can cook.

Lashing out by denying food (and making the kitchen/dining room an inhospitable place for one party) is just one symptom.

Hope it's clearer now.

P.S.: Note that the angry woman that brought it up, and was leading the others, has acknowledged having a bad marriage; and 3 others are divorced/single mothers.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by EfemenaXY: 4:01pm On Jul 23, 2012
Well learning how to cook is one way of helping yourself and preventing others from seeing it as a weakness on your part. Humans being what they are, seek to capitalize on another's weakness in the event of a disagreement. It's the same analogy that can be applied to different aspects of marriage.

Nonetheless, I think that doing anything out of spite reeks of immaturity and shows that the avenger is not ready to be married. Marriage is about understanding, sharing, talking your problems through....the list goes on.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jul 23, 2012
Will only work with lazy husbands who are incapable of walking to the kitchen and looking for something to eat. I am not gonna pretend and act like the mother teresa kind of woman cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy After a truly heated argurment or fight with my husband, and he put no aford to reconsider or make peace especially if he was wrong, I will be in no mood to serve him food. But I will prepare the food for sure, fight or no fight, food has to be in my house at all time.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by maclatunji: 4:15pm On Jul 23, 2012
Yay! I can cook. OP, stay away from those bad women that you were discussing with. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a submissive wife.

1 Like

Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by engrtee(f): 5:17pm On Jul 23, 2012
Deny a man føod wil make him go out to eat....,....then he starts eating at one spot regularly...then he drinks..,then get drunk....then meets one gal there.....then shower her money....then they are alone in a rum....then they .,,,9 month later....she is belle positive...gves birth and d man has a 2nd wife

summary
2 wrongs cant make a right...starving ur man is breaking ur home

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Kobojunkie: 9:01pm On Sep 03, 2012

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MrsChima1(f): 9:16pm On Sep 03, 2012
How can you deny a grown arse man food Is he handicapped

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Johndoe100(m): 9:23pm On Sep 03, 2012
Mrs..Chima:
How can you deny a grown arse man food Is he handicapped

Where I come from it is a taboo for men to be in the kitchen. It is a great insult for a woman to be around and a man goes to "cook". What arrant nonsense.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 9:43pm On Sep 03, 2012
All this "Akata" mentality that 9ja girls are adopting these days. Small fight then no food, no sex, you want to prove a point to who exactly.

Marriage is for adults and not for over pampered kids pretending to be adults. There are roles and responsibilities you agree and swear to perform to and for your spouse come rain or shine. Disagreements should not change anything.

What if he in turn stops performing his duties. Like giving you money, helping you around etc. if my wife refuses to cook for a little disagreement, she will come begging me to eat her food later. What rubbish!

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MrsChima1(f): 10:35pm On Sep 03, 2012
When stup!dity has an ethnicity

It has nothing to do with region nor country....if a person is dumb...they are dumb. Stop making excuses for them.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MrsChima1(f): 10:36pm On Sep 03, 2012
Johndoe100:

Where I come from it is a taboo for men to be in the kitchen. It is a great insult for a woman to be around and a man goes to "cook". What arrant nonsense.

Madness!!

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Johndoe100(m): 10:58pm On Sep 03, 2012
Mrs..Chima:


Madness!!

Really? These are part of our traditions. White people don't have any.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 11:50pm On Sep 03, 2012
A wise woman never denies her man/partner food or se/x.
If you do that he will only go out and get it elsewhere.
The are enough temptations being a man please do not expose him to more.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MrsChima1(f): 2:07am On Sep 04, 2012
Johndoe100:

Really? These are part of our traditions. White people don't have any.
\

If that wife of yours become ill...your arse will forego culture and cook to survive.

This is some bullshit.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by MrsChima1(f): 2:09am On Sep 04, 2012
Richvkunt: A wise woman never denies her man/partner food or se/x.
If you do that he will only go out and get it elsewhere.
The are enough temptations being a man please do not expose him to more.

Only a sorry knucklehead will go outside of his home and potentially contaminate himself....revenge isn't always sweet.

That's why marriage isn't for EVERYONE.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by deniyor: 2:10am On Sep 04, 2012
Perfect reasons to go out and enjoy that meal at the place I'm always fantasizing about. winkAnything is fair game there too.
Afterall, if I don't want to cook myself, I can afford to eat out. Less money to spend on the wife anyways.
Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Kobojunkie: 4:50am On Sep 04, 2012
deniyor: Perfect reasons to go out and enjoy that meal at the place I'm always fantasizing about. winkAnything is fair game there too.
Afterall, if I don't want to cook myself, I can afford to eat out. Less money to spend on the wife anyways.

So, rather than stoop low to cook for your family, you instead decide that two wrongs(since you think your wife not cooking for you is wrong) makes a right And you think that is more mature?? undecided undecided

Also since we are on maturity, if we consider the wife's refusal immature, what then do we call the husband's knack to tell outsiders of what is going on in his house? Isn't that not only low but immature? If the man pisses her off, can't he do the cooking for that one day or week, or month, or year? I mean what is with the bubble-brained analysis when we are in fact talking of two individuals with hands and legs complete?

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 7:59am On Sep 04, 2012
Two adults who cannot talk about their issues and solve them have no business getting married.
I will never deny my husband or anyone else anything because we are not on good times.
It is silly, vindictive and unchristain. If you can't talk to each other and sort out your wahala then you have no business being married.
Only Childish people will use things like this as a leverage.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 8:24am On Sep 04, 2012
I can't deny my husband food cos he knows the way to the kitchen!

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Kobojunkie: 8:28am On Sep 04, 2012
Marriage is not really defined as a "tantrum free zone". From time to time, you will see the child in your spouse show up, especially after squabbles. This is not ABNORMAL or to be measure of how mature the person is. If your spouse is sulking, then go take over, until the child simmers down.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by RoyalRoy(m): 9:13am On Sep 04, 2012
Kobojunkie: Marriage is not really defined as a "tantrum free zone". From time to time, you will see the child in your spouse show up, especially after squabbles. This is not ABNORMAL or to be measure of how mature the person is. If your spouse is sulking, then go take over, until the child simmers down.
Very lovely analogy.
Learnt something very important from your post right now.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 9:21am On Sep 04, 2012
Mrs..Chima:


Only a sorry knucklehead will go outside of his home and potentially contaminate himself....revenge isn't always sweet.

That's why marriage isn't for EVERYONE.

Okay, when you get married,go ahead and deny your husband food and se/x and see where it gets you.
These internet feminists never cease to baffle me.

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 9:26am On Sep 04, 2012
Efemena_xy: Well, if the man learns how to cook, then he won't have to subject himself to this form of punishment would he?

Honestly, I find it irritating that in this day and age, Nigerians think it's cool to parade majority of our men as inefficient people in the kitchen / unable to cook.

Both my dad and father-in-law have been fantastic cooks. My hubby holds his own down in the kitchen too. I've taught my sons how to cook and still teaching them, especially during the holidays. This is just one of many ways I'm helping them on the road to living independent lives.

Any guy who is worth his salt will drop the false ego act, get into the kitchen and learn how to cook!
thank u,ori e pe.any man dat does not know how to cook in dis day and age wil either spend all his money in a fast food restaurant (which will not satisfy him and or stay hungry,dis days its worthless for men parading their ego over northing by saying d kitchen is only a womans buisness).dis reminds me of my kid broda who wass in 4oo level in d uni, wen i was doing my nysc.i tel him,com and watch me cookin,he says dats not my buisness,now av left d house and mumsi told me dat hes always eating indomie or spageti (since dats d only thing he knows how to cook),when he burnt d spageti wel and he wasnt able to eat it,he resorts to buying buiscuit and minerals for lunch or toast bread and minerals,and mumsi says she cant teach him how to cook cos she doesnt have tym,she only cooks for our dad,she says tayo is not a baby dat i shud b cookin 4,since he dint learn it wen u were @ home,let him b eating his buiscuit and minerals.
Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by safeLove(f): 9:27am On Sep 04, 2012
Depending on the kind of relationship you have. For me I think its quite childish for couple to allow their marital squabbles to degenerate to that. I call it neglect of duties by the wife.Imagine a senario where the guy walks into the house from work,change clothes and walks back out to "eat" dinner. What right does madam have to ask where he's going or where he's been?
Fight or no fight,we eat on the same table every time and sleep on the same bed every night and even do the "do" sef. The following morning,the "fight" continues..lols.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 9:27am On Sep 04, 2012
Efemena_xy: Well, if the man learns how to cook, then he won't have to subject himself to this form of punishment would he?

Honestly, I find it irritating that in this day and age, Nigerians think it's cool to parade majority of our men as inefficient people in the kitchen / unable to cook.

Both my dad and father-in-law have been fantastic cooks. My hubby holds his own down in the kitchen too. I've taught my sons how to cook and still teaching them, especially during the holidays. This is just one of many ways I'm helping them on the road to living independent lives.

Any guy who is worth his salt will drop the false ego act, get into the kitchen and learn how to cook!
Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by ifyalways(f): 9:33am On Sep 04, 2012
2 things I would never deny my husband in the face of an argument/misunderstanding while we are both still living under same roof, food and seex.
That's a childish, unhealthy and outdated tantrum. My husband go chop you, chop your food then table "matters arising" lol

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Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 11:12am On Sep 04, 2012
ifyalways: 2 things I would never deny my husband in the face of an argument/misunderstanding while we are both still living under same roof, food and seex.
That's a childish, unhealthy and outdated tantrum. My husband go chop you, chop your food then table "matters arising" lol

While I do not always agree with you,on this matter I am 100% with you.
Damn,I never thought I could say that to a kingpin of the cabal.
I really need to post that last thread ASAP.
Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Nobody: 11:55am On Sep 04, 2012
@ John doe, pls what tribe are you from, my ex made that same exact statement months back.
Back to the topic, it depends on the timing, if it is an hour after the fight, by that time I would have cooled down so I won't have any problem cooking his food, I believe it is wrong to deny your husband food because of a fight.
And also you men should learn how to cook, its for your own good
Re: Why Deny Your Husband Food After A Fight? by Kobojunkie: 11:59am On Sep 04, 2012

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