she have never let it be more than it was

Poster, contact me, i can help you do jazz, his folks will be begging you to marry their son

cshall1120: I became best friends with an Nigerian (Yoruba) man. We both started to have feeling for either and desired to see where the relationship would take us. Now that I am deeply in love with him I am devastated to know that he doesnt think it can go further because his family doesnt like the idea of him dating someone that is not Nigerian (Yoruba) . I am a good person. I dont have any ill motives before being with him. I am ambitious, smart, understanding, respectful, willing to compromise and respect his culture. I am dumb founded they his family wouldnt even consider getting to know me before dismissing the idea. He want to still be best friends though. I dont know what to do. I believe in fighting for love. I want deeply to understand the situation to atleast try and remain friends but I am very hurt and much in love with him. Does anyone have any advice on what i can do in this situation? Do I even stand a chance? Is there any possible way I can atleast get him to try and make this work? Its just so hard for me to believe if his parent see him happy and successful with someone who is open to his culture and building a relationship with them that they would disown him. Would anyone disown their child for this? Do you think this is right? Anyone advice is welcome, especially the perspective of the Yoruba men and women. Thanks

Take heart, Nigerian parents are naturally like that. I'm Yoruba, and I was rejected my ex's mum (Yoruba woman) for reasons best known to her. I didn't take it to heart, I just dusted my shoulders and moved on. You can't force people to like you, just be yourself - and aim higher, God has better plans for you.

Future is an illusion, destiny is reality.

One thing I know for sure is, you cant possibly make them to love you. dont make yourself look desperate to them no matter how hard it is. Nigerians are culture addicts for all I know and they most times use the culture as an escape exuse to dump a foreign woman after using her for green card and so many other things. Though your own care here is different.

Myopic, small-minded people. He knew this at the start most ikely, so he is also to blame. I am a white English guy in a relationship with a Yoruba woman. We had big problems at the start of our courtship due to her family wanting her to settle down with someone from her uncle's village. If he is not willing to back your relationship, then there is no point in fighting family and your boyfriend. Let him go. If he is a strong man (of mental fortitude) not muscular size and he was willing to fight for his love, my opinion would be different. It seems that he is resigned to follow therir wishes...so the writing is on the wall, I'm afraid.

All the best for the future.

Love
Love
Love
He certainly doesn't want it, only him can mk dem accept u n since he s nt doin so
Well my, dere s sm1 out dere dat wld embrace u 4 u

Ammyng: One thing I know for sure is, you cant possibly make them to love you. dont make yourself look desperate to them no matter how hard it is. Nigerians are culture addicts for all I know and they most times use the culture as an escape exuse to dump a foreign woman after using her for green card and so many other things. Though your own care here is different.

I guest I am try to atleast understand to be friends. Even though this may be difficult

Bottom line is that he's not a man if he accepts what his parents tell him to do. It's nothing uncommon for Nigerian parents to want their son to marry from a reputable family from their village but still the decision is his to make. If he truly wants to be with you, he would marry you and the parents will eventually come to accept you.

I doubt his feelings for you are as strong as you think they are.

cshall1120:

I guest I am try to atleast understand to be friends. Even though this may be difficult

Yes friend, there's nothing wrong in being friends with him but somehow that will only remind you much lots about run away love. I think he is using the culture and his parents advice as an excuse

cshall1120:

I guest I am try to atleast understand to be friends. Even though this may be difficult

First you should know that your guy knew from the begining of the relationship that his people would not approve of it.
He's the only one in a position to convince his people.

Nigerians are a very cultural people and family ties are strong.

The first impulse of most nigerian families to this would be a firm disapproval.

If he truely wants to go ahead with it, he would try his best to convince them otherwise am sorry you just have to accept beign friends and face the reality that you are single and searching again.
Finito.

Why do you care about getting married?!?!?! Women were created to be shagged and to make babies. If the guy is giving you your necessary dosage of protein shake, be his baby mums and get on with your life. But if he's not, ring this number 0800-brickyyute. I have got the protein milkshake you need, hun

Brixtonyute: Why do you care about getting married?!?!?! Women were created to be shagged and to make babies. If the guy is giving you your necessary dosage of protein shake, be his baby mums and get on with your life. But if he's not, ring this number 0800-brickyyute. I have got the protein milkshake you need, hun

Haha hah ahha NOT FUNNY

Dyt: Love
Love
Love
He certainly doesn't want it, only him can mk dem accept u n since he s nt doin so
Well my, dere s sm1 out dere dat wld embrace u 4 u

Dyt, no offense Sweetie, but am really straining to read your post. Why can't you just type complete words? This isn't Twitter where characters are limited.

@ OP,
If the guy himself doesn't think your relationship can go further for whatever reason, you've got no choice but to move on. And in your case, don't underestimate the importance of family's opinion in some societies. Some men just can't detach themselves from pleasing others and allowing what other people think of them matter in a relationship. I'd move on if I were you.

OP

Life goes on. Keep your head up.

Good Girl:
Dyt, no offense Sweetie, but am really straining to read your post. Why can't you just type complete words? This isn't Twitter where characters are limited.

Now this is a bit funny

What has your outcome been? Was there any success for you?

liyah27: What has your outcome been? Was there any success for you?

The outcome for this situation is Im still very much in love with him. I see him all the time. I cry sometimes and it hurts because I cant imagine letting what we have go because of his mom doesnt approve. Im trying not to let the situation my me bitter. I believe he wants to try and please his mom by dating someone how is Nigerian though. Right now I kind of still hope that he will grow some balls and stand up to his mom. Actually I find it very hypocritical on her part to judge me because the man she is married to is not his dad which means she was divorced before her current husband and her husband choose the marry her and she had been divorced before with kids...... I dont have any kids. Im just not Nigerian...how can she judge when someone has had grace upon you.... So that much should you have for someone else. Has she not read about the man in the Bible who was forgiven of his debt but did not show the same forgiveness to someone who owed him...Did she not know the God punished him

What if he isn't made for you? the scripture has to be fulfilled.

iceblock: What if he isn't made for you? the scripture has to be fulfilled.

Whether he is or not I may never know. Sometime two people can be made for each other but if both people arent willing to explore what there, you never know. Hence, God gave humans free will. So often people dont obey his will for us but operate in some fleshy desire.

cshall1120:

Whether he is or not I may never know. Sometime two people can be made for each other but if both people arent willing to explore what there, you never know. Hence, God gave humans free will. So often people dont obey his will for us but operate in some fleshy desire.

What are the outcomes of you and the Yoruba guy?

Now I'm beginning to wonder where you girls are fishing all these Nigerian men from. Nairaland? .. . .

My advice for you is to bounce. Do not force yourself to be loved by some douchee.

SAFO: Bottom line is that he's not a man if he accepts what his parents tell him to do. It's nothing uncommon for Nigerian parents to want their son to marry from a reputable family from their village but still the decision is his to make. If he truly wants to be with you, he would marry you and the parents will eventually come to accept you.

I doubt his feelings for you are as strong as you think they are.

Nice one there, man! The best advice so far!

cshall1120: I became best friends with an Nigerian (Yoruba) man. We both started to have feeling for either and desired to see where the relationship would take us. Now that I am deeply in love with him I am devastated to know that he doesnt think it can go further because his family doesnt like the idea of him dating someone that is not Nigerian (Yoruba) . I am a good person. I dont have any ill motives before being with him. I am ambitious, smart, understanding, respectful, willing to compromise and respect his culture. [b]I am dumb founded they his family wouldnt even consider getting to know me before dismissing the idea. He want to still be best friends though. I dont know what to do. I believe in fighting for love. [/b]I want deeply to understand the situation to atleast try and remain friends but I am very hurt and much in love with him. Does anyone have any advice on what i can do in this situation? Do I even stand a chance? Is there any possible way I can atleast get him to try and make this work? Its just so hard for me to believe if his parent see him happy and successful with someone who is open to his culture and building a relationship with them that they would disown him. Would anyone disown their child for this? Do you think this is right? Anyone advice is welcome, especially the perspective of the Yoruba men and women. Thanks

Let him go marry Yoruba girl or any Nigerian girl
Trust me, his parents are not calling the shot
The dude is going after what he think's is the best for him for now
In few year the dude will star calling your phone no stop
Ask the dude what he want from a marriage?
Ask him do you have what it take to be his wife?
My mother have ask me to do things and I said NO mother, Pray for my happiness
She had to stop and understand I want to be happy and she want me to be happy too

luckgames:

Let him go marry Yoruba girl or any Nigerian girl
Trust me, his parents are not calling the shot
The dude is going after what he think's is the best for him for now
In few year the dude will star calling your phone no stop
Ask the dude what he want from a marriage?
Ask him do you have what it take to be his wife?
My mother have ask me to do things and I said NO mother, Pray for my happiness
She had to stop and understand I want to be happy and she want me to be happy too

Thanks for the advice. Its hard but i have decide not to try anymore. He says I have everything he is looking for but being with me will cause tension with his parents and he wont be happy. He says i mean alot and that it is important to him that i still be in his life and that we remain close friends. But I realize i cant do that because every time hes around its like being stab in the same old wound over and over. I also think he is being a coward bottom line and it probably wouldn't be good to be in a relationship with a mom mas boy anyway

[size=14pt]@@poster. . . . . . . . Stop giving urself so much head ache. Buy Milo, bournvita, milk, cornflakes and other groceries. Send his to his mother and father with an envelope with 1000 dollars inside. They will curse their son if he ever dump you. I'm dead serious. [/size]

Baba_Eleko: [size=14pt]@@poster. . . . . . . . Stop giving urself so much head ache. Buy Milo, bournvita, milk, cornflakes and other groceries. Send his to his mother and father with an envelope with 1000 dollars inside. They will curse their son if he ever dump you. I'm dead serious. [/size]

hahh hhha hhaaaa . Baba Eleko were. Bawo ni? Thats a very nice line to cane o. U be real elder. Who knows ? This might work...

Okontami: hahh hhha hhaaaa . Baba Eleko were. Bawo ni? Thats a very nice line to cane o. U be real elder. Who knows ? This might work...

Just curious... what does this mean How is it an elderly practice??

cshall1120:

Just curious... what does this mean How is it an elderly practice??

The comment before his comment
Asking you to buy the parents or bribery sent thing and money

luckgames:
The comment before his comment
Asking you to buy the parents or bribery sent thing and money

LOL, I dont think that would work for the simple fact I believe they are well off...Not exactly sure as to how well though

C'mon don't tell me uve forgotten how our Yoruba parent's mind work and what gifts mean to them. Even if they are well off. It's not the gift that'll do the magic. It's the simple fact that someone they barely know takes them so much into consideration and care. In their mind they believe even a Yoruba girl wouldnt do more than that besides their son's happiness is kin to them so what they prolly need is apart from making their son happy, what more can she offer them as the parents of her lover boy apart from "stealing their son away crom them". I can't shout just my own 50kobo.

Bull Shoit!!!

I don't believe this story one bit!!! [size=18pt]Yorubas marry outside of the Yoruba ethnicity. [/size]

If this was an Igbo man, I'd have believed it.

Anyways, leave the douche bag. If he can't fight for you, then he's not worth it.

Ileke-IdI:
Bull Shoit!!!

I don't believe this story one bit!!! Yorubas marry outside of the Yoruba ethnicity.

If this was an Igbo man, I'd have believed it.

Anyways, leave the douche bag. If he can't fight for you, then he's not worth it.

Damn you are so fucking obsessed with Igbo men in the sense of being tribal bulldozer. You're kinda right cuz two of my yoruba friends are married to some older fat white women.