Okay, this question has been on my mind for a long time now. I see some ladies jump into marriage without knowing who the guy really is. Someone told my friend how she was hooked up with a guy living abroad and he'll be coming back soon to marry her, i keep asking how she'll cope with a total stranger in a foreign land and i still ask if it's necessary to date even if it's for a month before getting married. Thanks.

Not necessary even to get married....u can be single and happy! ask urself, must i marry in life? marriage is not a must! neither is date a must, just be happy however u find it.

cugresources: Not necessary even to get married....u can be single and happy! ask urself, must i marry in life? marriage is not a must! neither is date a must, just be happy however u find it.

Hmmm, you re right in a way. you know, in a society like ours, once you re ripe for marriage family and friends will start looking at you wit an invisible question mark, well you'll say we aint living for them, but they re part of us. Most prayer houses are making money from these desperate ladies looking for husbands. To me, Marriage is for companionship and procreation.

Its necessary to, cos you have to know the person your gonna spend the rest of your life with..


You wanna invest ur life savings in a good bank? Wld you just throw the money into any bank you see? I dont think so..You ve to study the bank well, same thing applies to marriage.

cugresources: Not necessary even to get married....u can be single and happy! ask urself, must i marry in life? marriage is not a must! neither is date a must, just be happy however u find it.

TRUE! But then again, ur a man.. You guys can get away with it.

@OP
Capital YES

Very necessary,infact more necessary dan d marriage itself.

its very important.
so u wil kno d oda person very well.
l dated by hubby for 6 years, during which l saw a lot of things am not comfortable with
n we iron it out. tho it wasnt easy.
but lo n behold, d surprises l encounter after marriage.
there were stil a lot l didnt c.
but think of how it'l seem, if we had not dated @ all.

I need to know what I'm getting myself into. So for me it's a must. Wouldn't it be awkward not knowing the person and just jumping into marriage? Some arranged marriages are like this. Sad!

Haba! You are consciously asking, Must I look before I leap? Open that book and read first the cover could be deceptive and all regret at the end

Dating before marriage is ideal but when a lady enters "injury time", it becomes anything goes. As for guys that download wife I can't but wish them well.

Lemme answer your question with another one.Is it necessary to go to the university if you want to be a medical doctor?

100% and supported by the Quran & Bible too...

To all of you saying ,its like jumping without leaping etc , did your parents date before getting married ,No. Their marriages have lasted a lot longer than ours do nowadays.
Dating ,however short or long is in order to become acquainted to the person who becomes your spouse.
Like they do in some traditional societies, they parents look out for "responsible" men or women for their children and get them connected and wedding afterwards. How "responsible" this boy or girl is , to an extent determines how the marriage goes on, if happy or not. Everyother thing can be sorted out.


That being said, I gotta date even if just for a week ;

it is very important to date the person you marry and i dont mean you know each other for 6 months and BAM get married. I mean at least 2 years of dating. Why do you think some people even on this site wake up to a stranger daily? and then complain of their spouse.

The world has changed, gone are the days of arrange marriage where you get to know each other after marriage. Nowadays you have to deal with the different characters that each person comes with and a guy thinking he can just boss his wife around will be in for a rude awakening

angelz: its very important.
so u wil kno d oda person very well.
l dated by hubby for 6 years, during which l saw a lot of things am not comfortable with
n we iron it out. tho it wasnt easy.
but lo n behold, d surprises l encounter after marriage.
there were stil a lot l didnt c.
but think of how it'l seem, if we had not dated @ all.

Wow, how interesting. There's this couple i know of, they always quarrel to the extent of using knives on themselves, i keep asking my friends if they ever dated before getting married.

Yes very necessary so as to know some things about each other.

Marriage is such a reality! it is not for angels. you don't assume that all will be well. while you're dating, don't look desperate as if you're running out of time and can't wait to marry each other. you'll be shocked at the things that will keep unfolding series after series.

If i don't get Married to Idowu and Slimyem... Am not gonna get Married den ... My decision if final

showstopa: To all of you saying ,its like jumping without leaping etc , did your parents date before getting married ,No. Their marriages have lasted a lot longer than ours do nowadays.
Dating ,however short or long is in order to become acquainted to the person who becomes your spouse.
Like they do in some traditional societies, they parents look out for "responsible" men or women for their children and get them connected and wedding afterwards. How "responsible" this boy or girl is , to an extent determines how the marriage goes on, if happy or not. Everyother thing can be sorted out.


That being said, I gotta date even if just for a week ;

Don't compare our parents time with ours at all, don't dive into the mucky waters when you are not sure of what's inside.

That is the reason why our parents are still enduring their marriages in secrete now. They live in marriage like "living in bondage" and when asked they will say, its because of my children, its because of my family, what will people say and so on. so even the bible says what man will want to go for a journey that will not take account of everything needed even to the smallest detail.
What is the rush for, when there still some unanswered questions? What is the rush for when you don't have a foreknowledge of your partner's habit, vision , purpose, drive, inspirations, emotions control etc. Even if you are desperate and age is not on your side,its better to add value and meaning to your life and live a responsible life so that responsible guys will come knocking at you door, and responsible ladies will come strolling your path. Age is not a good factor of rushing into marriage at all at all.

omega25red: it is very important to date the person you marry and i dont mean you know each other for 6 months and BAM get married. I mean at least 2 years of dating. Why do you think some people even on this site wake up to a stranger daily? and then complain of their spouse.

The world has changed, gone are the days of arrange marriage where you get to know each other after marriage. Nowadays you have to deal with the different characters that each person comes with and a guy thinking he can just boss his wife around will be in for a rude awakening

Lol, he'll be shocked to know that she was trained by Mohammed Ali himself.

If for instance you went out, and somebody stepped on your lady's foot and the person immediately apologized and the next thing was for your lady to give a Pepper seller"s yabing, and the same thing happens almost every time and you asked her friends and neighbors and they said the same thing about her attitude. Will you want to rush into marriage with that person without knowing how to curtail such excess and attitudes?

It is very necessary to date each other before marriage because you have to know the 'likes' and 'dislikes' of your partner. Also to know whether you can cope with each others' attitude. Marriage without courtship or dating is like writing an exam without reading or playing a football match without training. I once watch a pastor in a telly saying courtship is not necessary since that I never watch his preaching again because he is misleading people.

i think minimum for dating someone you don't know before marriage is 2 years. when i say 2 years it doesn't include long distance dating and not just weekends/weekend sleep over. take holidays, meet as much family/friends. you cant have a relationship without misunderstandings. can you imagine marrying someone without you have a never had a misunderstanding with? in 2 years their could be a couple of low and high points.

And its not all Dates must end in marriage and its not every person you see you must date to know maybe they will be good in marriage. You can study some people afar for months and years, ask questions about them and develop an unnoticeable interest in them, and after being satisfied you can work on and ask for a date. Please i wouldn't attend a crusade on the express road or try to preach to a transformer. I will Always date, court, and marry

How can you sit for an exam you didn't prepare for? Epic failure! Very few arranged marriages last and they are mostly premised on financial gains. Dating/courtship is the first vital step towards marriage.

brainpulse:

Don't compare our parents time with ours at all, don't dive into the mucky waters when you are not sure of what's inside.

That is the reason why our parents are still enduring their marriages in secrete now. They live in marriage like "living in bondage" and when asked they will say, its because of my children, its because of my family, what will people say and so on. so even the bible says what man will want to go for a journey that will not take account of everything needed even to the smallest detail.
What is the rush for, when there still some unanswered questions? What is the rush for when you don't have a foreknowledge of your partner's habit, vision , purpose, drive, inspirations, emotions control etc. Even if you are desperate and age is not on your side,its better to add value and meaning to your life and live a responsible life so that responsible guys will come knocking at you door, and responsible ladies will come strolling your path. Age is not a good factor of rushing into marriage at all at all.

Hmmm, very true, well said, i could.nt have said it better. Age is.nt a factor for rushing into marriage. But some ladies who re in their prime rush into marriage so that they can have kids before they get to menopause.

cugresources: Not necessary even to get married....u can be single and happy! ask urself, must i marry in life? marriage is not a must! neither is date a must, just be happy however u find it.

supported, but its stil gud to knw whoever u want to call ur husband so dating b4 marriage is not a bad thing. but we don't really nid to force ourselves into it cos its better of happy single than regret thruout ur life married. afterall the bible says its better of u're single and enter the kingdom of God than married and loss the kingdom.
just want us all to be careful, vigilant and always pray so we make d rite choice cos without God evrytin is useless.

sigba:

Hmmm, very true, well said, i could.nt have said it better. Age is.nt a factor for rushing into marriage. But some ladies who re in their prime rush into marriage so that they can have kids before they get to menopause.

Sigba although every lady is mindful of that dreaded moments called menopause, but what is the beauty and joy in a marriage with kids but without love, care and affection, when your feelings are not respected and considered, when you are being turned to common rag and monumental image of scorn and shame. When you can't experience happiness, wonderful and joyous moments, when your aspirations, vigor and visions and killed in your own very eyes by someone that once called you "the love of my eternity".