I was married to a Yoruba man 2yrs ago (am from d East). The man is from a polygamous family and deeply believed in divorce; infact 3weeks into the marriage he suddenly decared that divorce is an option when anyone of us gets tired. Bottom line, the marriage lasted for just 7 months.

I did all I could to make our marriage work but I was totally frustrated. My pregnancy was 2 months old when he physically assaulted me repeatedly kicking my stomach. My child survived and he is 4 months old now, a healthy baby.

Now the thing is this, am a single mum now as we are finally seperated. What chances are there for single mum‘s to find love, are they discriminated against? Am not saying i want to start dating again now, i just want to know what its like for us out there.

PrettyCindy: I was married to a Yoruba man 2yrs ago (am from d East). The man is from a polygamous family and deeply believed in divorce; infact 3weeks into the marriage he suddenly decared that divorce is an option when anyone of us gets tired. Bottom line, the marriage lasted for just 7months. I did all i could to make our marriage work but i was totally frustrated. My pregnancy was 2months old when he physically assaulted me repeatedly kicking my stomach. My child survived and he is 4months old now, a healthy baby.
Now the thing is this, am a single mum now as we are finally seperated. What chances are there for single mum‘s to find love, are they discriminated against? Am not saying i want to start dating again now, i just want to know what its like for us out there.

You would definitely find true love again.

Just be careful and do not be jittery.....approach potential suitors with caution.

All the best!!

Ofcus
If a real man sees d u in u, in my own opinion, I don't think marriage s all abt past
U cld b very lucky

Of cors yes! Age plays a key factor though. If u r stl very young,sure,why not. They'l com luking. U'l have to lower ur xpectation tho. *strictly my opinion*

love has no limitations!
Just be cautious and patient.
It'll come when you least expect it!

Am 28yrs old. Honeslty d whole love thing is kinda scary as am scared of falling into d wrong hands again. Ex husband didnt love me at all, it was he was forced into d marriage. HE CONFESSED TO HIS FRIEND WHEN WE SEPERATED THAT HE MARRIED ME FOR MARRYING SAKE NOT THAT HE LOVED ME. How do i know a serious minded and honest man. I thot ex husband was real as he was very convincing. How can i tell the difference between a serious man and the opposite?

Mshew, what a question! Of course! You just have to get out there

PrettyCindy: I was married to a Yoruba man 2yrs ago (am from d East). The man is from a polygamous family and deeply believed in divorce; infact 3weeks into the marriage he suddenly decared that divorce is an option when anyone of us gets tired. Bottom line, the marriage lasted for just 7months. I did all i could to make our marriage work but i was totally frustrated. My pregnancy was 2months old when he physically assaulted me repeatedly kicking my stomach. My child survived and he is 4months old now, a healthy baby.
Now the thing is this, am a single mum now as we are finally seperated. What chances are there for single mum‘s to find love, are they discriminated against? Am not saying i want to start dating again now, i just want to know what its like for us out there.

Sure why not.

Just wondering why a sis from east got hooked up with a estupid arss yoruba dude. Just wondering

@OP you will find another man although its difficult in this Nigeria, but certainly possible, All the best and enjoy your son a very precious gift from G-d.

REALITY101:

Sure why not.

Just wondering why a sis from east got hooked up with a estupid arss yoruba dude. Just wondering

Okoro take am easy na.
Na ruv.

hmmmm!

@OP: You sound like a decent lady. Any time you visit the UK, I don't mind taking you out for a drink.

claremont: @OP: You sound like a decent lady. Any time you visit the UK, I don't mind taking you out for a drink.

See congo! Upon say you dey for uk, konji dey manya you like dis?

cantell:
Okoro take am easy na.
Na ruv.

WTF?

cantell:
See congo! Upon say you dey for uk, konji dey manya you like dis?

Wetin man go do nah?! A man has got to keep body and soul together!

@Poster,
Definitely yes! You can and will still find true love.

Believe it or not, there are men out there that won't date you for long before proposing genuine marriage (love) to you. You know why? They are already guaranteed that you are fertile and can give them a child.

As for being a single mother, I personally have dated one or two single mothers and genuinely loved them. Helped one reunite with her divorced husband, something she and her husband will forever love and respect me for.

Sorry to ask but did you at any time put pressure on your (ex)husband to marry you because I see no way why he will say he just married you for marrying sake.

Hope he is taking full responsiblility of his baby's upkeep?

Yeah you can. But as someone said,you'll have to lower your expectation a lil bit

@ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

@ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

PrettyCindy, I feel ur pains absolutely. My advice is, concentrate for now on raising up ur son in a very decent manner. Leave love outta the equation @ the mo, coz, chances are that u might get hurt again. And in all things u do, always remember that u have a precious gift from God, for whom u owe a responsibility of care and love.
Cheers and be strong.

PrettyCindy: @ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

I rhink there's more to this story than what we are made to understand.

I know I come here regularly to bash young single ladies who don't set their priorities right, but there are a whole lot of Bunch Crack heads male folks there that even if they put an Elephants brain in their skull they will Never still think straight.

What kind of a man will abandon his own child and woman he married legally? The bottom line is he his either partially insane or a bloody coward who is scared of responsibilities. Some men enjoy rodding day and night every single second but can stand the after effect (catering for their child).

I am glad you have moved on. If going by your story is the whole truth of what happened, Don't worry God is always with the truthful and cheated. He will surely see you true.

But please note; Don't look at all men as being the same thereby turning your back and heart against other prospective suitors so that you don't end up missing a caring and loving man in your life.

All dis yoruba men re just pu-ssy hungry niggas. Maybe you re not sweet for him.

Lord! What type of man is dat. You shld be glad its just a kid u've had. You r young; and I assure u, even if u set u expectations high u'ld get someone dt loves u for u.

My neighbor had three spoilt annoyin kids after her husband died and she still found a very sexy hot guy to marry.

So no worries

U r even a working class lady. Problem half solved! Flaunt ur child as much as possible,also flaunt your single status as much as u can,trust me,it'l help. I just don't know how..lol,but it will.
Gudluck.

Tribe, Religion and Culture are important factors to consider before choosing a life partner, but probably you ignored it, and mostly its Ibo people that always do that big mistake of jumping to marry any tribe they come by just because they have liberal minds, which is not same with other tribes. next time, be watchful of tribe, religion, culture and family background, they are very vital, because such things are what shapes a man or woman in life. there are chances you may find husband again, but I must be honest with you that it is very thin in Nigeria, so be very careful of fakers. discrimination of been-tos, yes of course it exist here in Nigeria, we are Africans, thats why as a girl u have to look very well before u leap in Nigerian scenario. like a poster rightly said: if you must stand a chance of finding love again, if at all possible, then you must lower your expectations and desires in a man. The guy is scary though, what a man, abandoned his own son too, Ibos cannot do that I bet you. Ibos love their children more than any other tribe in Nigeria. So make wise choice next time, but trust more in God and do tell Him all your troubles with faith and don't take all men as same, cos there are more good men in Nigeria, if you stay wise! Goodluck!

Excelboi: All dis yoruba men re just pu-ssy hungry niggas. Maybe you re not sweet for him.

I thought Seun now opens the forum for insane people like you from 2:00am-2010an? What are you now doing posting at this time?

Can't bu*ffons like you post without going tribalistic and bashing ethnic groups?

FOOOOOOL!!!

cugresources: Tribe, Religion and Culture are important factors to consider before choosing a life partner, but probably you ignored it, and mostly its Ibo people that always does that big mistake of jumping to marry any tribe they come by just because they have liberal minds, which is not same with other tribes. next time, be watchful of tribe, religion, culture and family background, they are very vital, because such things are what shapes a man or woman in life. there are chances you may find husband again, but I must be honest with you that it is very thin. discrimination of been-tos, yes of course it exist here in Nigeria, we are Africans, thats why as a girl u have to look very well before u leap in Nigerian scenario. like a poster rightly said: if you must stand a chance of finding love again, if at all possible, then you must lower your expectations and desires in a man. Goodluck!

Ibos having Liberal minds? *surprised* maybe the ibos in Benin republic or Chad. Certainly not the Ibo of Nigerian Origin.

What do you mean are chances of finding love again is very slim? Why jump into conclusion with your small mind?


Anyway I know the Poster is more Educated than to even take an iota of your post to think of for a second.

@op, wat cud be responsible FƠ̴̴̴̴͡я̲̅ Ūя̲̅ ex-husband change of attitude? Still wonderin as i refuse τ̅☺ put †ЂΞ blame totally on him! From Ūя̲̅ follow-up post, U̶̲̥̅̊ said U̶̲̥̅̊ earn higher than him. Hmmm

@acidtalk, in Nigeria, when choosing a life partner, it is important to consider: tribe, religion, family background, and culture first. in Ibo land of ancient times, they do all these things, and its for a reason- if she had married an Ibo man, the marriage wouldn't have ended that way, just 7months, nope my friend, it won't believe me. the guy's elderly relatives and parents, with the lady's own would have sat down on a round table to iron things out, ask other people here. Ibos sacrifice a lot to ensure their son's and daughter's marriages remain united, I respect them for that. inter-tribal marriage hardly survives in Nigeria, if you doubt it, take a statistics around your immediate environment or ask experienced people. like I said, Ibos are the only tribes in Nigeria that marry anyhow- they marry tom, dick and harry in their liberal mind-set. maybe becos they travel a lot, so wherever they go, they build mansions, establish there and take those people as their own, and wouldn't mind marrying them, thats what I meant by they have liberal minds unlike other tribes in Nigeria. Talking of education, I am M.Eng holder from Leeds, MBA from Pan African University (Lagos Business School), so if your talking of whoever having more academic qualifications than I do, then the person must either be a Ph.D. hold or a prof. So to say my friend, lets leave education apart, and face the topic becos being a prof. or whatever doesn't always guarantee good judgment in marital issues. She and every other person reading this thread should consider tribe, religion, culture and family background when choosing a wife or husband. as for her case, the mistake had been done, but for correction, let her focus on dating or getting married to Ibo men and not leaving her mind so liberally...she must define her environment now...else, similar mistake may reoccur, which I pray not. Ask yourself, how many Ibos still practice polygamy nowadays? Probably none, but other tribes does, which shows u how much Ibo people value and respect the modern marriage system- which owes tribute to Ibos being homogeneously Christians!

@OP I would have started sympathizing with ur "kick-in-the-stomach-while-pregnant"story, but I have come across your type enough times to be wise. cut that crap gurl, I know ur preparing such a despicable bullshit for the child so he/she can hate his/her father to ur advantage? or so u think. Some (i said SOME, not all b4 u call me a hater) women are wickedness personified. u need to have an encounter to believe! I will not sympathize until I hear from the other party. If u are looking for cheap sympathy, ur shopping in the wrong mall my dear. By the way, give me his number.

@op. Sure, jst be more careful dis time

All the Igbo sisters i know that married Yoruba men are divorced. Does this say anything?