yorke: So what is the lesson in this super story?

shymmex:

Long distance relationships don't work - it's an illusion.

shymmex:

Long distance relationships don't work - it's an illusion.

Goldieluks:

Your point of view, not everyone's.

yorke:
You mean like Lagos to Ibadan?

Kwach Imani: I am in one such relationship and He is a Nigerian, we met while he was out of his country and he visited my family and we are still going strong....it can work if both parties make it work.

shymmex: After reading a couple of arguments and counter arguments about long distance relationships on NL, and its practicality - I had to do a flash back on one of such relationships I had years back. I was 19years old at the time - and I just reconnected back with one of my childhood friends, who left the UK for the US of A - like 7years before then. We were happy to be in touch again, and we started from emails and msn chats - to phone calls. We went from talking about movies, music, life in America and the UK, the different terms in English language used for certain things in both countries - to talking about relationships and future plans. We became very close, and a day didn't go by - without her ringing my phone at least twice (sometimes at awkward times because of the time zones).

One day, the unthinkable happened - she said she likes me a lot, and she wanted to be my girl friend. I had to laugh it off at first because I thought it was a prank, but she was dead serious about it. I was shocked she wanted to be in a relationship with a guy she hasn't seen for 7years, and don't even know the kind of guy I've transformed into. And at 19, my thing like every other guy of my age back then was to beat as many pum as I can (London heads would understand what I mean). She insisted we give a trial - and I had to oblige because she was dead serious about it.

The phone calls went from twice a day to like five times a day despite the time zones, and we never got bored of each other. The whole thing was so insane that, though there was no physical contact, we kind of connected well - and knew everything about each other. We went from the "I like you a lot" mantra - to "I love you." She sent me loads of Jordans, Nike airmax, Timberland boots etc. but every time I made an offer to reciprocate her generosity - she would ask me not to bother because I wasn't working at that - I was in Uni full-time, and a part-time hustler. She ran up her monthly phone bills into hundreds of dollars, but that didn't stop her from calling me.

We did the whole thing for a year, before the unthinkable happened. One of her female cousins, she introduced me to, via the phone sent me a semi-naked picture of herself - which I never asked her to, and my girl found out about it. She rang me up about it, and literally cried for like half an hour. I felt guilty because she gave up so much for me - and trusted me - though the whole relationship was unreal. I decided we needed to wake up from our dreams and get real - because there was no way the relationship would work. We were teenagers, and that's the period we need to ride life till the wheels fall off. I don't want no imaginary chic chasing me around with phone calls - I want the real bedroom romance, and getting 'jiggy' with it.

We broke up, but we still keep in touch till this day - though she's married now. We're still very good friends, though I still haven't seen this girl since she left the UK. Every time I look back at the whole ordeal, it's still like a dream to me. The world is a funny place, I tell ya.

Long distance relationship is impractical - it's an imaginative thing, that's never gonna work - that's my honest opinion.

chizzy86: for you not others me inclusive

shymmex:

Hmmmmm, good luck with that.