I am presently dating a young guy that is currently studying in the u.k. he was asking me out before he left nigeria but i refused to date him.he however came to my school to inform me that he will be travelling to the u.k, i wished him luck and i felt that he was going to forget all about me.To my suprise however, he kept calling and i finally agreed to date him (this is after a year and six months of knowing him). since july last year since we started dating, he calls me almost everyday and spends hours on the phone, he sends gifts, cards, money, clothes, i have also suprised him (so he says) because i call him frequently as well(i spend a fortune on phone calls just as he does), i send quality gifts, cards,etc as well to him from nigeria.the problem now is i am in my 5th and final year in the university, he is just in his second year(a three years programme), but i am scared that he might just change or stop loving me because i hear so many stories about the girls in u.k. i am worried because i will be graduating before me and there are alot of serious guys here in nigeria asking me for a committed realtionship but i refuse to give in.is the guy for real or should i just two time and have a stand-by boyfriend here in nigeria.pls advice

Pls spare this UK boy the pain. You don't love him, you only gave in because he's now in the UK. Your heart is really with those your "serious" guys in Nigeria but you also want to keep the UK guy cos of the benefits of finally emigrating to the UK through him if not why did it take you 18months to decide whether you loved him enough to date him or not?

Spare the poor guy! please by all means leave him and date your "serious" guys! He is in yr 2 of a 3 yr prog which means he'd be thru by next yr God willing, what else do you want? If he were in a 6 yr program that would be another story but 3 yr!

A guy who spends fortunes calling u (for the past 9 months) and sending u cards and gifts from the UK cannot be seen as an unserious guy especially one who waited 18 months to date you!

You are very wrong! the only reason why i refused to date him before he travelled down to the u.k was because i had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years and the last thing i needed at that time was another relationship.

the only reason why i refused to date him before he travelled down to the u.k was because i had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years and the last thing i needed at that time was another relationship.

For 18 whole months?

Hehehe David, I must say you got her there.

davidylan:

Please spare this UK boy the pain. You don't love him, you only gave in because he's now in the UK. Your heart is really with those your "serious" guys in Nigeria but you also want to keep the UK guy because of the benefits of finally emigrating to the UK through him if not why did it take you 18months to decide whether you loved him enough to date him or not?

Okay i wont totaly agree with you there, I mean especially when she said she didn't agree to it cos she just got outta a relationship. But on the other hand, i don't think funkybaby wants this relationship. Come on now, a guy that does all that, plus he asked you out even before he left, (it's not like, a stranger you don't know whom u met on the net), He's been showing you how much he loves you even before he left. After he did, he still keeps in touch, show his love by sending gifts and doing all that ish. He has one year left to go, and you are here asking for advice? If you Love him enough (as much as he does), im sure you'll wait. What's one year when there's true love?

The advice im gonna give you is: Search ur heart and make sure you love this guy, not just for some flimsy reasons. If you can't wait, Call it off. You didn't want him before anyways, u just suddenly liked him when he travlled. Like hum, that's questionable.

I don't wanan judge you by saying u like him cos he's in U.K, but daing girl, That dude loves you, You know how many girls he sees where he is?

@funky babe,

I understand the condition of life in naija, so l know what's on ur mind that sooner or later, you go de U.K. Am sure all ur babes were in support of u dumping ur naija guy for the yankee bros, don't be fooled by cards and money and all those stuff. Ask yourself this one question, do you love this U. K guy , Why did you break up wiht ur boyfriend of two years , what was the reason for it.

Also, the guy might really love you but (don't be fooled , he just land U. K, give him some time, he fassie you cos girls for U. K fine no be small ), sha, u have to shine ya eyes.

IF l were in ur shoes, l would keep loving my naija guy of 2 years, and have fun than to be prepared for heart breaks anytime cos anything can happen to you any moment from now. he can just fassie you or dump ya or never call.

So l think don't be fooled by money or all that bling bling stuffs, its just cheap stuffs in u. k , maybe he buying it sef from the dollar shop and u carried away.

Just enjoy ur life for naija and fassie the bobo.

na wa for you disney o

well its will be too bad if u have another relationship apart frm the one u have, a guy that could spend fortunes calling u from england , i guess he loves u, girl i want you to know there are lots of girls in uk and for this guy to be crazy about u , girl u are lucky, just pray and commit all to GOD and he will surely perfect all for u.

You don't love him girl.Better look for a nice Nigerian guy and settle down.Good Luck !

This is so unfair u guys are picking on her like she is some gold-digger which is very bad. u can't judge her simply because d guy is in u.k
i don't now wht her reasons are 4 being in d relationship but then u can't say it's entirely for selfish reasons.
babygirl d ball is in ur court if u luv dis guy or think u do give it a try but if u're doing dis for personal gain then u might want to think again.
distant relationships work and i know cuz i'm in one i've met dis guy just once but we've been dating for almost 3 yrs now and we're makin progress. it all depends on the two people involved remember that circumstances differ in every case.
so finally if u're in cuz u think there's something strong going then go on but if u r doing dis because u wnt to cum to d u.k u hv some thinking to do.

Hey,there is nothing bout guys in UK,its not all the guys that can stand out so stop making her feel she's keeping the relationship for that reason.
@funkybaby,dont be deceived by all those blink blink and calls(film tricks)He can call you 10times a day and still ditch you so follow ur heart and go for the best,whatever you truly want.

Its kinda funny cos some peeps here are seeing me as some kinda gold digger. thanks for thinking differently @ gem 87 and hot-angel.I forgot to add that i was in the u.k last year (i never went because of him, i went to see my mum) and we spent some quality time.Besides, he has no intention to settle down at u.k. he has a family business to take over from his dad, so that rules out any possiblity of 'migrating to the u.k @ davidylan. Honestly, throughout the time i spent with him in the u.k, he didnt give me any reason to think that he is seeing someone else.i didnt end the 2years relationship i was in beacause of the u.k guy. that ended months before the u.k started coming around. anyway, he's coming to naija next month on birthday to see me (so he says). @ dupsy baby and folaboy 250, i guess i will just stick to your advice.thanks.

besides that, i also spend a fortune on calls and i get lovely things for him, so its not a one-sided thing!

why is it that when somone travels and someone in Nigeria is dating da person, they say itz cuz he/she is abroad, lemme tell u'all in most cases itz love, when itz just 4 da benefit, da one that is been cheated on should know

Dont dciv ya sef.Just search ur search ur heart.The guy loves u,but do u love him?Since he left,have u given ur heart to another guy?Just tink about all these.If na only am dey ur heart,not mind o.Then stick to him.He is urs.Moreover,it has gone beyond just calls.

Please and please,u all should stop making funkybaby feel bad,all she needs is advice on what to do and here some people r calling her names,sometimes we should learn how to help and critize constructively instead of pulling the person down,am also in a long distance relationship but it is the other way round,my gal is in the uk and men it is kinda hard to cope,there are people everywhere like girls and boys so it is not that we do not see other people we can chill with,abeg no body holy pass,funkybaby evrything lies in your hands.

Well, what can i say? Everything that needs to be said has been said.
But if you love him like i know he does, then i will advice you to give him the benefit of the doubt!

snifin, wait, snif again, God bless my wicked soul!

I smell alot of GOLD DIGGERS

in this room

so am out!

Peace!

my sister,do not listen to everyone on nairaland.stop the distant relationship,give him reasons why u hav to cut off,at the same time remember there is no time,u are a lady.hope say u code my language oh.

I heard wot u utter while takin my leave,code or no code Gold diggers?

NEMESIS ! NEMESIS !! NEMESIS!!!

DONT SAY 2CHUKWU NO WARN U OOO

the give her advice,u hear,

Funke, eyan kan tin paro fun e. Someone is lying to you and probably cos u are not seeing him but u should know that u can't eat your cake and have it. you don't love him firstly and secondly i don't think your hand is clean

nobledanie:

Funke, eyan kan tin paro fun e. Someone is lying to you and probably because u are not seeing him but u should know that u can't eat your cake and have it. you don't love him firstly and secondly i don't think your hand is clean

Dude, how do you know the lady hand is not clean huh ? the guy might be in love with her, remember funky made us understand that before this guy travel to UK, he has been coming around to ask her out why she turned down his request was that she broke-up just recently

So i don't think the guy is trying to play games, Well anything your heart leads you to do it sha, but remember that some guys are outthere that keep gurls here at the end of the day, they come down here and marry them, the next thing is, they both go back to UK

funkybabe,i dont think you deserve anything less than the truth.you should ask yourself where your doubt spring out from.question your heart and mind.be brutally honest wit yourself n be sure that whatever decision you make is a rìsk.we dont know whats up wit tomorrow.

This is absolutely nonsense she dont deserve wat she's tryin to have,
to protect her ugly image self she even stated in the tread that her mom is in uk.
God bless my wicked soul if u really love this dude, as u claim you are now
or u are bout to ,hmm y u no give am space wen him dey naija?

@funky babe,u deserve to be told the truth if u dont like telling urself one,
u are jus tryin to reap were u did not sow,i pray that guy should Bleep u up into pieces.

Onye'ori ri.

If you know down deep in your heart that you love him not because he is in the U.K,then you can wait for him and one more how much do you know of his life when he was in Nigeria, is he someone that flirt around ,think a little deeper the answer is right there in your heart as such follow it,your answer will give you a glue to which part to follow.

ask yourself this question.would you
claim to love him if he was in iraq, sorry,i mean nigeria.would you love him if, (fill in the space).wish you well

For crying out loud, why do some people turn UK into a gold mine ! Nothing should make anybody freaked out about living in the UK. The gal even said her mom lives here and she comes visiting. So what else do you guys want as proof that she's not obsessed with the UK Gold Mine myth.
@Funky, (my name sake) just follow your heart. If the guy hasn't given you a clue to make you suspicious of his moves, then i'll advise you to keep him.I'm in a long distance r/ship myself, and i know exactly how it feels, sometimes you want to think twice,especially when eligible bachelors flock around but i tell you, sis, go for the person that loves u and u love. Keep moving gurl, you aint alone !

The reason people are saying it's UK trips is simply becuase in her first post she said the guy has been toasting her for ages and she no gree but when he come go London that she then decided to agree.

It is that statement that has made people suspicious and then adding after people yabbed her the fact that she goes to London and saw him sounds a bit fishy.

But for me the bottom line is this: She does not love the guy, simple.

If she did she would not even be debating all this and talking about serious guys in Naija.

She just wan marry and she is looking for the best option that will improve her life.

Vieira:

The reason people are saying it's UK trips is simply becuase in her first post she said the guy has been toasting her for ages and she no gree but when he come go London that she then decided to agree.

It is that statement that has made people suspicious and then adding after people yabbed her the fact that she goes to London and saw him sounds a bit fishy.

But for me the bottom line is this: She does not love the guy, simple.

If she did she would not even be debating all this and talking about serious guys in Nigeria.

She just wan marry and she is looking for the best option that will improve her life.

@vieria,

though art the true son of your father! How can a guy toast you unsuccessfully for 18 months here in nigeria where u saw him at least once a week and suddenly became ur boyfriend the minute he stepped into the UK where u see him maybe once in 2 yrs?
MAdam funky, u don't love the boy. if u did there would be no question of other serious or "un"serious boys here troubling u! Married women don't bother about 'serious' men disturbing them!

Search your heart. Leave the poor guy to the girl that truly deserves him. You don't! You can't eat your cake and have it! You don't love him, u're only seeking to pitch ur tent where the grass is greenest! Remember Abraham and Lot!

mide2:

For crying out loud, why do some people turn UK into a gold mine ! Nothing should make anybody freaked out about living in the UK. The girl even said her mom lives here and she comes visiting. So what else do you guys want as proof that she's not obsessed with the UK Gold Mine myth.

I really don't understand what gives people the view that the UK is a goldmine. What exactly is the problem? So what if she's hooking up with a chap in the UK? Big deal, Its not as if the guy is paying her bills or nada, Fine she started going out with him 18 mths after, So? Probably it just dawned on her that he was still serious despite been out of the country. I know NL boys find it difficult to comprehend but it happens and those in such situations are not gold diggers.

@davidylan

Please give the chic a break about not loving the chap, I wonder what your opinion would have been if the shoe was on the other foot.

@funky
Long distance relationship takes alot of commitment and trust and i always commend those that are bold enough to go into one. No one has the right to judge you except you.

Splendid analysis prettyh