No one knows it all really and absolutely no man is an island. I've often wondered what exactly makes, constitutes and maintains a great relationship. Right from the onset; when boy meets girl and likes what he sees and hears, hiss next action is to ask for her number, is this the point where the babe is expected to turn coy and refuse to give him the number?

How do you know when a girl/guy is only having you on?

How do you convey to a suitor that you also like him without appearing too forward or 'cheap'?

Having started the relationship, what are the unlisted dos and donts that sustain it?

If anyone by chance knows the answers to any or all of these questions, please shoot, cause I'm all ears

Well the fact that I have zero experience with relationships won't keep me from sharing my opinion!

[I]How do you know when a guy is only having you on?[/I]
He asks you to marry him.

[I]How do you convey to a suitor that you also like him without appearing too forward or 'cheap'?[/I]
You mean you can't just tell him

Women!

It's a free world. If I want a man as much as he wants me, I'd let him know. It might not be immediately but somehow, I will find a way of communicating it to him. And I believe any matured man will not see that as being too forward.

In sustaining a relationship, I think the most important part of any healthy relationship between two people is being able to communicate, that is, talk and listen to one another and by so doing, you and your partner can figure out what your common interests are.

Secondly, you must learn to respect and trust each other. Talking calmly when disagreements happen helps you to understand the real reason for not getting along.

You know that you are in a healthy relationship with someone because you feel good about yourself when you are around that person. Unhealthy relationships can make you feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.

Healthy relationships involve an equal amount of give and take in the relationship. In unhealthy relationships, there is an unfair balance. You may feel that most of the time you are giving the other person more attention than they give to you.

I believe when you are in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe around your partner and also feel that you can trust him/her with your secrets.

Well these are what I have learnt from my past relationships and I intend holding on to.

simple rule:
Do you want it to work? Does the partner want it to work?
Then do things .. say things.... that will make it work.
some people call it:
-----------COMMITMENT!----------------

Well, my personal belief is that you should be free to express yourself before whoeever you are dating without the fear of being mocked. If you sense you will not be able to do this, then there is a problem somewhere.
On the question of whether a lady can let a guy know she loves him. I don't see anything wrong in that. Some guys don't find it easy expressing themselves. So, it will do the lady and the guy a lot of good if the lady can help the guy out
Anyway, let's embrace commitment. That's a strong key to maintaining health relationship. I want us to remember ths story of the chicken and the pig in bacon. The chicken is only involved while the pig is committed. So, let's move into deep commitment. enjoy

I agree with the idea of commitment, but I inisist that if the guy is not engaged to the girl their "commitment" is not to be taken seriously. Such commitment is not real. What you are saying in essence is that 'I reserve the right to dump you if I find someone else who is more suitable'. What sort of commitment is that?

If I may ask what type of engagement are u talking about?

Engagement
3: a mutual promise to marry (syn: betrothal, troth)
Source: dictionary.com

The above definition is exactly what I mean by engagement. It means 'I will marry you'. It means 'be my wife'.

(no, not necessarily [I]you[/I] ... )

Interesting debate so far. As I said earlier, no single person knows it all or holds all the answers to matters of the heart. More often than not, we're all better individuals for sharing ideas and learning from people's experiences.

Suffice to say that I've learnt a thing or two so far and I'm certain other people have as well.

As relates to the issue of committment; it takes time to grow you know? In my opinion, committing to a relationship would mean that you both know each other to a very reasonable extent and are ready, knowing what you do about each other, to give your all to the relationship. That is when both parties start talking about getting engaged, either the traditional way by getting the parents to know themselves or the western way by exchanging rings and all.

In any event, I wish everyone what they wish themselves relationship wise. May all looking for it find true love with which dwell happiness, joy and peace of mind together with fulfillment. Did I hear a resounding amen.....?

Amen

So what is this true love?

Ra:

No one knows it all really and absolutely no man is an island. I've often wondered what exactly makes, constitutes and maintains a great relationship. Right from the onset; when boy meets girl and likes what he sees and hears, hiss next action is to ask for her number, is this the point where the babe is expected to turn coy and refuse to give him the number?

Let me put it this way, there types of relationships that will never work .
what i am trying to say in essense is that for there to be a relationship, there is a reason, a drive so to say, for which a guy would approach a girl to start up one or for which a gurl would agree to start up one.

* fear: fear of rejection or of never getting married or old age. such a lady has no defined values - she does not know who she is, who she wants or why she wants that kind of person.

* guilt: you feel sorry for your partner and feel if you stay with him/her you can help overcome his/her problems. You feel guilty when you try to leave cos there is a strong attachment now. It never works cos when he/she recovers from the problems, you suddenly discover you are no longer needed.

* money: it is a natural instint to seek protection and wellbeing in any relationship as well as to ensure that you are with a man that can be a good provider to you. However, when the size of the wallet becomes the only reason that the relationship exist, it becomes a money driven relationship, and then the money determines how you feel and respond to each other. The lady is enslaved by his money and it is almost impossible to oblige him sex cos when you do, he zips up his bulging wallet!

* if a relationship is sex driven, it is self centerd and selfish. the moment you cease to derive pleasure from the sex, the relationship crumbles. The character of a person cannot be acurately measured by how good or bad they are in bed.

* romance is an essential ingredient in the critical mix of factors responsible for making a relationship work, but when it assumes a mojor role, the relationship becomes lopsided and fails to delvelope as it ought to. such type of relationship often end as soon as the realities of life begin to show up. when romance stops for any reason, true love is absent to support it and so it crumbles. romance should therefore be balanced with genuine love for the relationship to work.

Hm... quite interesting thus far. I will like to shed more light on the issue of commitment. To be committed, it does not necessary mean that both of you have known each other well, but u make up your minds to seek to know and understand each other more. This involves sacrifice and that's why it seems that many are still running away from serious relationship till date. So, as soon as you find who you feel you could spend the rest of your life with, I don't understand why you can't then go ahead to give it all it takes. enjoy

Basically we need to answer these questions objectively..First and formost...there is a word called deception. I may pretend I like you coz all I want is actually sex. And if I don't pretend to like you...NO sex... So in my opinion before you actually are engaged to anyone, all you are simply doing is fooling around..Its for every one to understand himself and know what he/she is most comfortable with in terms of relationships. some girls don't mind casual sex, some think its a great deal. I think it is fun. However when you are ready to settle down, let everyone know, that you aint playing games no more that it is time to raise a family. You don't have to know someone forever before you get married

This is really very interesting, getting to hear the views of the two sexes involved. but one thing i know is that for a relationship to be healthy, then the sex factor must be out because what sex does in a relationship is to cloud your judgement about the person you are involved with. In situations where you are supposed to ask questions and notice things that might not be so right, your mind is busy thinking about what should be left for later. I bet a great deal of self control is needed here for a relationship to be healthy.

Every game has it's rules, so in relationship you must know what to and what not to do
for you to get a healthy relationship. Nothing they say goes for nothing. When you do
what you ought to do in your relationship you get a pecfect one and the vice versa. To
know what you ought and ought not to do to get a healthy relationship, visit my blog @
>>>> http://eazysolutions..com. GOODLUCK!

Doesn't matter how it's defined, relationships sprout from attractions. Grow on trust and is nurtured by truth(however you define that is up to you two).

Doesn't matter how it's defined, relationships sprout from attractions. Grow on trust and is nurtured by truth(however you define that is up to you two). @bowolabi, i beg to disagree. Sex is a very IMPORTANT factor! Dont be a fool and come whinnying to Nairalanders tomorrow