it is quite unfortunate that alot of people do come here on nairaland and post
story from their own favourable side of view, you have succeded in painting ur
boyfriend(sorry faincee) black at your own risk, and obviously most of your expected +ve responses
came from the female folks, None , i mean no single one of them imagined you may
possible be seeking their opinion base on this falseful story, CAN i ask you
a question, WHY WOULDNT YOU WANT TO PICK UP THE CALL IN HIS PRESENCE
TO CLEARIFY THIS LACKING TRUST ISSUE, in the first instance?
whatever led him calling you all sort of names according to your made-beleif story
i agree it is wrong of him, i am on the fence on this one-sided story, search within
your heart and make up, IF YOU WEIGHT HIM A YOUR UTMOST PRIOIRITY YOU WOULD
HAVE PICKED THE CALL AND MAKE YOU STAND KNOWN TO HIM, regardles of who comes first or last,
wake up girl , you are talking abt ur husband to be, not boy friend, you need to be
straight with him the earn all his trust

teetalks:

it is quite unfortunate that alot of people do come here on nairaland and post
story from their own favourable side of view, you have succeded in painting your
boyfriend(sorry faincee) black at your own risk, and obviously most of your expected +ve responses
came from the female folks, None , i mean no single one of them imagined you may
possible be seeking their opinion base on this falseful story, CAN i ask you
a question, WHY WOULDNT YOU WANT TO PICK UP THE CALL IN HIS PRESENCE
TO CLEARIFY THIS LACKING TRUST ISSUE, in the first instance?
whatever led him calling you all sort of names according to your made-beleif story
i agree it is wrong of him, i am on the fence on this one-sided story, search within
your heart and make up, IF YOU WEIGHT HIM A YOUR UTMOST PRIOIRITY YOU WOULD
HAVE PICKED THE CALL AND MAKE YOU STAND KNOWN TO HIM, regardles of who comes first or last,
wake up girl , you are talking about your husband to be, not boy friend, you need to be
straight with him the earn all his trust

You have a point. I did not pick up the call because I don't have to pick up the call. This was someone I have not spoken to in 9 months. I felt the person I was spending time with is more important.

Anyway, I have had enough of the fighting and bickering. I am determined to leave all my ills BEHIND with the year 2006.

one word " RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

Love is blind.

Sounds like the guy is a idiot with a lot of insecurity problems. You CAN'T change a guy.

Run and run like hell.

It's easier said than done but once this engagement is over, you'll feel better knowing that he can never mistreat you again. You deserve better.

My dear, the last thing you want to do is to be married to a guy who is highly insecure. If you're ready to be turned into pounded yam, go ahead. I bet you, if he's acting like this now, you'l become his punching bag sooner or later. Its only a matter of time. As it is now, his love is an obsession.

Wetin you give am chop? 

@RIKKI

Hey Babygirl, How are you doing?? Reading your post was like having a flashback. I used to be Dele except for the name calling. But mine was a little different because she gave me reasons to be suspicious. Countless lies and hearing the voice of a man on the other side of the phone at night. But it wasn't enough to put a woman in mystery. No be by force. Look, there are 2 things that might be wrong with Dele, it's either he's extremely Immature or he's just plain LOCO (insane)! Please wait on the introductions and have a heart to heart talk with him. If you love him, tell him to his face that you love him and not looking for any other man. Express your feelings towards him and give him tme to change, and if he doesn't buy you a good "Gorrila of a boot" and kick his insanity butt to the curb. But don't be in a haste to throw him under the train. Trust me, most men are insecure towards a woman they really love and few are just rough necks that just don't give a damn ! It took me losing the love of my life to realize that there are limitations to insecurity, I lost the center of my heart and i felt so empty for a while. But now, i realize that a good woman is a priceless gift ! Give Dele your mind and time to see if he changes. Because the next one might not be better than him. Goodluck sweetheart and have fun either with Dele or Deleless.

what are still waiting for ?
abeg run NOW that you can
dont even think or believe he wud change after marriage cos it wud get worst

just LEAVE HIM NOW

@ifyalways

Do you have a man

@J-girl

What part of derty are you at?? Are you at derty derty south? or just derty south?

security and insecurity is caused by parties, u should have told him, before he found out. call him to a table talk, if no result, then take a walk.

Sweet T:

@ifyalways

Do you have a man

is this the topic or what ?

the answer to ya question is OFF TOPIC.

@Ifyalways

It's a simple question. do you have a man? I guess i can see why you don't want to see another woman with a man !

I dont understand y ure still confused poster. The guy is showing u the tip of the ice berg and ure talking of the 'whole town' that are invited to the wedding already. Just remember that those people aint gonna live with u or marry u. They'll eat and make merry then relax at there different homes while u live with 'Dele'. It may be hard to leave him since y'all have been together for 2 years but dont do what u will regret in future because some people are already invited. Better to have a broken engagement and disappointed friends and family than being beaten black and blue or even killed (but God forbid) in the name of marriage. Better be single and happy than be married to a prospective boxer sorry 'Dele' cause he's just a ticking time bomb waiting to blow off. Happiness has no price tag. Any man that calls a woman (vice versa) names esp. ones they claim they love is just messed up. Love doesnt in anyway condone name calling, bitterness, insecurity, hard heartedness etc. Love and marriage should be enjoyed not endured. Am a Christian too and I'd advice u pray that God gives u a man that u will treat like a King and he would cherish and treat u like a queen instead of praying to be with 'Dele'. Am sorry but I think 'Dele' is more like 'bad news'. Ure warned .

i'm guessing your problem is the fact that both ur families are involved and his folks probably know u and have accepted you as their "wife"

Here's news for u, IT DOESN'T MATTER, it's ur life, don't do something u'll regret for the rest of ur life. u deserve respect, and the wedding is a very small part of marriage, quit this fool.

You have a bad case girl, but not beyond redemption- i accept its completely wrong of him to call you such names but one thing is almost  sure here- this guy loves you (or wants to love you - the only reason he's so hurt at such a thing- and the reason he comes back all the time, and the only reasons he still wants to marry a 'b**tch*) and you love this guy too(the only reason you're confused about what to do) - so think before you run -you may be running from gold

I must agree with one of the respondents- that you may also have some case to answer-maybe there's something he'd been told about you, probably your past, that suggest you cud be promiscous(so think about your life- if you led a very wayward life, its possible he knows and is scared you might not change- so you need to sit down with him, tell you truly love him, and that you are really a changed person). A problem identified, they say, is half solved. You;ve identified insecurity here- what stops you from giving this guy the assurance he needs?- call up this other guy in his presence, put it up on speaker and tell him you have a fiance you love and he shud leave u alone.

Its easy for people to tell you "RUN"- my advice is 'Pray" and 'think, think, think'. Remember this is the much anyone on this forum can do- you're left alone to face the consequences of whatever decision you take

Best of luck dear

Sweet T:

@Ifyalways

It's a simple question. do you have a man? I guess i can see why you don't want to see another woman with a man !

a very good assumption from a blind man.

@topic
wHATS all the f*ck buddy, f*ck buddy

I think the 2 of u are very disillusioned

Thats the only u got involved with this kind of abusive relationship in the 1st place.

Its easy to find a man/lady, but not easy to find a life partner.

Save urself the pain.

j-girl:
Abeg run and leave the conniving human.
He is emotionally abusing you. How dare he call the future mother of his kids a b***h? That's not accepted anywhere. Please leave him now before it's too late. Very soon he'll start beating you.

That's if he has nt even given her some designers on her face already mstchew!!! gal friend, flee n nt look back till u reach ur father's house

[quote author=swoosh]You have a bad case girl, but not beyond redemption- i accept its completely wrong of him to call you such names but one thing is almost  sure here- this guy loves you (or wants to love you - the only reason he's so hurt at such a thing- and the reason he comes back all the time, and the only reasons he still wants to marry a 'b**tch*) and you love this guy too(the only reason you're confused about what to do) - so think before you run -you may be running from gold

I must agree with one of the respondents- that you may also have some case to answer-maybe there's something he'd been told about you, probably your past, that suggest you cud be promiscous(so think about your life- if you led a very wayward life, its possible he knows and is scared you might not change- so you need to sit down with him, tell you truly love him, and that you are really a changed person). A problem identified, they say, is half solved. You;ve identified insecurity here- what stops you from giving this guy the assurance he needs?- call up this other guy in his presence, put it up on speaker and tell him you have a fiance you love and he shud leave u alone.

Its easy for people to tell you "RUN"- my advice is 'Pray" and 'think, think, think'. Remember this is the much anyone on this forum can do- you're left alone to face the consequences of whatever decision you take

Best of luck dear

@swoosh, even if she has had a bad past, does dt mean he shul kip flingy d insults @her?
everybody has got a past u kno (both pleasant n unpleasant) n if he stil met her n expects her to be his wife n mother of kids, then making her feel guilty by hauling doze slimy n dirty words @ her is proably gonna get bad on him too cos she has dcided to settle nd any further provocation might make her "beasty" cos she'll be like "watz d point? i mean he doesn't blive ma changed personality so y kip prooving it?
and dts also wat our advice to her is trying 2 avoid so she can be sincere as she wants to be yle d guy shul go n refurbish his immature approach - who knos his own past anyway

though it might nt b izy, but if d guy can't do without d insults, then i fink she can do without d guy. period

ask urself this question "am I ready to live with Dele's attitude for the rest of my life?".

my dear a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage ok dnt be in a hurry give d other guy a chance this is from my heart all d best dear