I have a girl which I love so much.WE were together until we finish SS3 then wither we go.We met againafter two years and our love seems to be stronger than before.Both of us were working and I was doing adiploma programme by then.It happens that she got pregnant and never want to abort it.On my side I was afraid to have anything to do with abortion.
      So we decided to keep the pregnancy.[we were not officially married]she decided to move from the vicinity to another b/c of shame.I agreed and she was relocated to uyo while Iam in Imo state.To cut it short when the pregnacy was about eight months she was back to Imo state now to my fathers who has decided to take care of her till she deliver.During this time people started calling her my wife and I was ashamed and left to PH.During this period my younger brother took care of her through the labour and the delivery.
       Nine months later they both started having sex which affected the baby.He was taken to various hospitals without remedy until he was taken to a health center where the nurse asked her if she had slept with a man during that period of breast feeding the baby{the questionning was done aside}so this way the baby was revived.
       By this time my brother has left to calabar.All this while I did not know what was going on until my brother sent his first letter to my girl and it gets into my hands I asked my girl what has been going on between the two of them.She lied and letter accepted having an affair with my brother.I didnt know what to do because she was just been operated upon in the hospital,my father was admitted and the baby was still a todler I forgave and let her be.
     When my brother came I confronted him he lied and later agreed in the present of my girl.Both of them kneel down beg me  . I forgave them both.This time my father was about to die.MY father died and was buried.So my girl her.when I visited her I confronted her through a tip off that my bros was there she told me the truth and I still forgave her this time decided not to talk to my bros again.I left to ph.After six months my bros went back there and convinced her to joined him later to calabar which she did.thy leavd in the same room there .At a time he called me to tell me that my girl and my boy were in calabar with their sister I rushed down there to find out it was true. I left with annoyance which I later heard she was pregnant and aborted it.     
        Right now she is staying with my elder sister in Abuja.I need all your help.But I still love her.BUt the news is every where now.

That's a heck of a story you have there
I understand how you must be feeling, but I think that you need to consider the fact that maybe she's just not in love with you. You are allowing yourself to be disrespected by a girl who is sleeping with your brother. Yes it's great that you forgive them both, but forgiveness does not mean that you have to condone their behaviour. It also does not give them a licence to keep going behind your back and disrespecting you.
I think it's time you let her go. Be there for your little one, but let her be with your brother as that seems to be what she really wants.

Thanks for your advise 2cantango.It seems you have told me something I never know before.

You are ashamed of her:
- not offering to marry her.
- running away when people were calling her your wife.

Why shouldn't she try her luck with your brother or any other man who might be willing to take her more seriously?

My brother,it's 1 of those things,thank God uv'e not paid her bride price. If it were when love was blind i would have ask u 2 carry on,but these days' love sees through 1 eye. Just go &carry out DNA test 2 comfirm de baby is really yours,then take & care 4 de baby if you are de father,i know it's shameful & painful but live her 4 ur brother, dey will soon get tired &discard.U can search 4 another girl dat will be there 4u right here in our forum we have good ones here,if u want 2marry. Dat girl is not ur wife,a girl dat really love,will wait 4 u & feel desame pain with u. 4 de girls,dis is how de unreliability & untrust of Nigerian men starts .

Its a shame this happened. I want you to put your acts together. If she doesn't want you don't force yourself on her. There are better ladies out there that can add value to your life. Well i for one I will not go back for her cos I can't imagine another guy sleeping with my girl not to say my bro!!! its horrible. But you have to treat every lady well and give them the security they want I guess you didn't do that thus she ran away.

Its a pity it happened

I wasnt ashame of her rather my age.Besides we planned to get married as soon as the kid started school so that by then I might have settle down

How old are you? How can she know for sure that you will marry her? And what is keeping you from getting married? Most people wait for marriage until they are ready to get kids, but you already have a kid, so nothing is stopping you from getting married.

Its quite unfortunate,but well these things happen.You are really forgiving!!You said you still love,do you think you can trust her ever again or forget all that happened or look at her the same way again?I really doubt that.You are not even sure she won't do it again.I suggest you move on with your life,be there for your child if you've confirmed you are the father.That's why its not good to dabble into things when you can't bear its responsibility.Anyway shit happens!Move on with your life i'm sure you would find a well deserved love again.

sentiment apart, y've not been there for her when she need. every lady want security which ur brother is providinfg for her while u run away becos of ur age u said( is he ur yonger or elder brother?). ur blame n what i htink u shd learn from this is that u don't need to run away from ur responsobilty; accepted it was a mistake. As for ur girl and brother i think they did the worst thg. and i will advice to stay clear of the girl and allow her to enjoy live where she think she find it. now u need to carry on with life and think of better thing u could for urself rather thinking abt a lady who does not give a dawn of u. Who know may u ara rope in the first place?. be vigilant n more careful in next affair. wishing u good luck and sametime wishing ur brother and d girl good luck too

My guy you've done what you're expected to do which is forgiving both of them that way you know your conscience is clear atleast before God. Having a child does not automatically qualify you or anybody as being ready for marriage! Not being around is also not a reason for her to jump in bed with another guy not to mention your own brother! So, to cut stories short and telling you the bitter truth, she's not meant for you! its just a pity you have a child with her (i.e if the child is really yours) but that's an Innocent soul there! All you have to do is take care of your child and let her go ahead with her life the way she want. One last warning, don't be one of those people that believe love is blind cux its not! it can only make YOU blind! good luck!

thanks a billion prince onx

I think Suen,you could say better things that.Dont you marriage is forever?If i have committed one single offence by running away for that time.He too committed hers with my brother.Now the ratio is I:I.I forgave her she ought to do same to me and sin no more


    The other fellow talked about security.What would a woman want interms of material thingsfrom her well to do to be father inlaw? I need an answer.

How far with this story?

you need to let go and move on, its obvious she wants to be with your brother, so u've tried your best but she is just not worth all the pain, running away bcoz of shame wasn't a good idea, but why would you still wanna be with someone your brother has been with and not just once, leave them alone and get your own life.

your story is SOOOOOOOOOO

I wish I knew how this story ended, things dey happen sha

Perspectives:
I wish I knew how this story ended, things dey happen sha

This thread old no be small. The story baffles me sef.

Benita27:
This thread old no be small. The story baffles me sef.

E old o, 2006 lol. Story sounds real than all the cooked up story we have now.

Azzziiiiinnn, I just weak. I never wish to find myself in this situation. Although the guy has his fault too for not being there for the girl.

am pooing

Perspectives:



E old o, 2007 lol. Story sounds real than all the cooked up story we have now.

Azzziiiiinnn, I just weak. I never wish to find myself in this situation. Although the guy has his fault too for not being there for the girl.

He made a mistake, and his brother used that opportunity to start a relationship with the girl. How could two brothers be bleeping same pussy?.

Benita27:
He made a mistake, and his brother used that opportunity to start a relationship with the girl. How could two brothers be bleeping same pussy?.

All shades of wrong for all of them. As in, when it's not like they are the only three people in the world. Buh you know she'll be the one to lose cuz according to the guy, the story is everywhere and no guy would want to marry her. Meanwhile, the two brothers can still find other ladies.

Are you talkiing about your younger or elder brother? If he is your younger brother, then disown him , wat an insult. That girl self don't deserve u. Wicked ppl.

hanson:
I have a girl which I love so much.WE were together until we finish SS3 then wither we go.We met againafter two years and our love seems to be stronger than before.Both of us were working and I was doing adiploma programme by then.It happens that she got pregnant and never want to abort it.On my side I was afraid to have anything to do with abortion.
      So we decided to keep the pregnancy.[we were not officially married]she decided to move from the vicinity to another b/c of shame.I agreed and she was relocated to uyo while Iam in Imo state.To cut it short when the pregnacy was about eight months she was back to Imo state now to my fathers who has decided to take care of her till she deliver.During this time people started calling her my wife and I was ashamed and left to PH.During this period my younger brother took care of her through the labour and the delivery.
       Nine months later they both started having sex which affected the baby.He was taken to various hospitals without remedy until he was taken to a health center where the nurse asked her if she had slept with a man during that period of breast feeding the baby{the questionning was done aside}so this way the baby was revived.
       By this time my brother has left to calabar.All this while I did not know what was going on until my brother sent his first letter to my girl and it gets into my hands I asked my girl what has been going on between the two of them.She lied and letter accepted having an affair with my brother.I didnt know what to do because she was just been operated upon in the hospital,my father was admitted and the baby was still a todler I forgave and let her be.
     When my brother came I confronted him he lied and later agreed in the present of my girl.Both of them kneel down beg me  . I forgave them both.This time my father was about to die.MY father died and was buried.So my girl her.when I visited her I confronted her through a tip off that my bros was there she told me the truth and I still forgave her this time decided not to talk to my bros again.I left to ph.After six months my bros went back there and convinced her to joined him later to calabar which she did.thy leavd in the same room there .At a time he called me to tell me that my girl and my boy were in calabar with their sister I rushed down there to find out it was true. I left with annoyance which I later heard she was pregnant and aborted it.     
        Right now she is staying with my elder sister in Abuja.I need all your help.But I still love her.BUt the news is every where now.

2cantango:
That's a heck of a story you have there
I understand how you must be feeling, but I think that you need to consider the fact that maybe she's just not in love with you. You are allowing yourself to be disrespected by a girl who is sleeping with your brother. Yes it's great that you forgive them both, but forgiveness does not mean that you have to condone their behaviour. It also does not give them a licence to keep going behind your back and disrespecting you.
I think it's time you let her go. Be there for your little one, but let her be with your brother as that seems to be what she really wants.

that advice is one of a kind...