she claims she is shy and doesn't know how to tell the dad who is closer to her.i have spoken with her mom once when i visited her but that was before we got engaged.i have asked her severally for her mom's number,each time she said she'ld text it to me but she never did so i stopped asking.i have told my siblings and mom about her,she has my mom's number and talks with her.again,we agreed on the phone to change our relationship status on fbook to engaged and i have changed mine,but cant tell if she did same or customised it.my mind tells me she's up to sometin which God knows i cant take.pls guys,how do you advice i should handle this?

Hw old is she?

You need to make a move asap. She's really up to something.

Sijo01: Hw old is she?

26

Tyche: You need to make a move asap. She's really up to something.

exactly wot my mind tells me....wot do u tink i should do?

hynex79:
26

Ha, i tot she's lik 18-20 n probably scared of hw to inform her parents abut it because of her age.

Op, shine ur eyes, somfin fishy is goin on.

Tell her u wil b coming wit ur family to see her's on a said date n see hw she wil react. Den u tak it up frm dere.
Gudluck!

@poster
i think u both ar hvin communication problem..y nt sit her dwn and explain al ur hv noticed,...if u ar realy her bst and she can trust u she wil open up 2 u..dia is more 2 ds dat nlanders can explain,we can only assume,..its beta u confrnt her wij ur observatns...A lot of gals may nt be wilin 2 inform dia family because dy dnt trust d future outcm of such engagmnt,y wil she chang her status 2 engagd 2day n chang it 2 single 2moro?..shes stil nt sure of d outcm...my opinion duo

poster

seems like you are waisting your time and she is using you as backup. open your eyes to realise that this woman is not ready to be married to you

Is that how they do it in our Nigeria, these days? Change facebook statuses and then ring the parents about it? Hell, even Americans throw engagement parties almost every time. So why sidestep the customary 'introduction', that you know our people are keen about, even when it can be low-keyed?
Did you even give her a ring? Are you very sure that you're set to settle down?

Shy, she is not. She just lacks the stomach to relay a carnard to her folks. How in the world, did you miss that?

@op
I smell a rat!
Better do something before something do u oooo...

Sijo01:

Ha, i tot she's lik 18-20 n probably scared of hw to inform her parents abut it because of her age.

Op, shine ur eyes, somfin fishy is goin on.

Tell her u wil b coming wit ur family to see her's on a said date n see hw she wil react. Den u tak it up frm dere.
Gudluck!

tnks,but there's a little snag to your suggestion.i stay in lagos while she stays in abuja.i would'v gone to the villa to see her father but he has been in her house on a visit since last month

chidyhels: @poster
i think u both ar hvin communication problem..y nt sit her dwn and explain al ur hv noticed,...if u ar realy her bst and she can trust u she wil open up 2 u..dia is more 2 ds dat nlanders can explain,we can only assume,..its beta u confrnt her wij ur observatns...A lot of gals may nt be wilin 2 inform dia family because dy dnt trust d future outcm of such engagmnt,y wil she chang her status 2 engagd 2day n chang it 2 single 2moro?..shes stil nt sure of d outcm...my opinion duo

there's no communication gap,we talk atleast three times a day.i have spoken to her on this severally,the only thing she keeps telling me is that she doesnt want to rush into telling her parents.i doubt if the problem is lack of trust like u said.i agreed to change my relationship status to earn her trust because she complained i had many female friends

omega25red: poster

seems like you are waisting your time and she is using you as backup. open your eyes to realise that this woman is not ready to be married to you

exactly my thought..

Rocktation: Is that how they do it in our Nigeria, these days? Change facebook statuses [/b]and then ring the parents about it? Hell, even Americans throw engagement parties almost every time. So why sidestep the customary 'introduction', that you know our people are keen about, even when it can be low-keyed?
[b]Did you even give her a ring? Are you very sure that you're set to settle down?

Shy, she is not. She just lacks the stomach to relay a carnard to her folks. How in the world, did you miss that?

i was nt detailed in my post but let me clear you on the highlighted.i gave her a ring with her friend as the witness.before then,she used to jokingly said to me that any man that would engage her would do it with a ring worth atleast 50k,but i gave her a 20k worth ring which she once complained about.changing of my fbook status was after our engagement,just to earn her trust because she complained about my female friends.if am not ready to settle down i'ld not be here seeking advice.i am 32 and she knows about my resolve to marry this year..

cindyrella: @op
I smell a rat!
Better do something before something do u oooo...

she wants to play smart with me but i want to outsmart her....wot moves do you advice i make?

man up nd do it urself...she'll either get pissed nd brake up or rake for u small and continue wit d marriage... if not anoda man will reach d ouse b4 u oo.

She is definitely using you as a backup. You are prolly not her first choice for a life partner. Just give her her fixed date to see her family and see her reaction

Okay then, don't ask for her parents' numbers no more. Tell her that you've specified a future date (that shouldn't be more than a week from when you're giving it), that you intend to go see her folks about your 'marriage plans', and see how she takes it. This should help you clarify and achieve the outcomes that are eluding you. If it won't be convenient (for good reasons), she'd reschedule to a date that's not far from the one you're giving....if she's really down with you. Goodluck oo.

This one has me speechless oooo. My Nigerian brain is telling me the girl is playing you but Some part is saying she is scared.
I think I trust my brain more so dude give her an ultimatum. She either tells them or you break it off

At 26 and she's scared of wetin exactly?

Make i hear say that girl wants to marry you.

She wants to Marry but the guy is a back-up. The real owner exists

^Yeah i actually meant marry the OP.

@poster are u a broke ass.............cos that could be a problem explaining ur status to her parent

Hmmmnnn! A friend of mine was in a similar situation with his gf of about 5 years. He proposed and the girl kept hedging. Didn't tell anyone didn't wear the ring nothing. 2 weeks later he "heard" she was getting married. Its just sad how selfish and cunning ppl can be. That said, that may not be her case. You know her house? Her siblings!? Go and talk to someone even her friends and get the true story.

Daresh: Hmmmnnn! A friend of mine was in a similar situation with his gf of about 5 years. He proposed and the girl kept hedging. Didn't tell anyone didn't wear the ring nothing. 2 weeks later he "heard" she was getting married. Its just sad how selfish and cunning ppl can be. That said, that may not be her case. You know her house? Her siblings!? Go and talk to someone even her friends and get the true story.

How will you feel if some stranger walks into your house one day and start feeding you stories of how he is your daughter's fiance? Would you not call the police first?

Mynd_44:
How will you feel if some stranger walks into your house one day and start feeding you stories of how he is your daughter's fiance? Would you not call the police first?

Ok not her parents, but I'm guessing her siblings and friends?Is it possible to date and engage without knowing sibling or friends?

^^
Now we are asking the right questions

Thank you all for your comments.the truth finally came to light..funny!she believes am not financially buoyant enough for her,so its over between us.

hynex79: Thank you all for your comments.the truth finally came to light..funny!she believes am not financially buoyant enough for her,so its over between us.

Pele

hynex79: Thank you all for your comments.the truth finally came to light..funny!she believes am not financially buoyant enough for her,so its over between us.

OBINRIN.... If mary could data 'A Carpenter' then what wrong with nowadays girls

hynex79: Thank you all for your comments.the truth finally came to light..funny!she believes am not financially buoyant enough for her,so its over between us.

I knew it! Damn... What a pity. Hope you've moved on sha.

Woemen sha.
God have mercy

the raw truth is, Na only for your front were she dey engage to u,, but as far as she is concern she's as free as a bird for any hunter to catapult down for a nice meal while your waiting

I knew it, when she was demanding for a wedding ring of 50K afta giving her 1 of 20K, Chai! Some ladies tinking marriage as a means of financial fulfilment.

No one knows tomorrow #inAsas'voice