Hello nairaland,
  I am in deep confusion with a guy am dating so i desperately need Ur genuine advice. Am original from east Africa living in UK,  before i met this guy i was in a serious relationship with a guy from my home country for 5yrs and  we parted ways 2 yrs ago. i stayed one yr without having anyone in my life as i was busy studying and trying to finish my degree., which i did in the end thanks to the almighty God. After that i told myself its high time i allow or get involved with someone. now here is the confusion,  i met this guy (his original from west Africa) early last yr. we started talking then he told me his situation that he was married and his wife had recently passed away from breast cancer which i was very sympathetic and he truly showed that he was still hurting.  we carried on then one day he invited me to his home. being a nice, honest guy i told myself y not,  so i went and things got out off hand so we ended up making love which i don't regret it at all( Yes i used protection) . it was wow mind blowing,  something i never experienced  before.  now its been one yr since we started dating ,  i truly want to b with him but he claims  his not ready to love someone else  coz he still has feelings for his wife which i don't seem to understand coz whenever i try to put a distance in our relationship he comes on me like fire showing he cares and loves me.
everythin else is good apart from him hidding things from his friends and fam that he's not involved with anyone which hurts my feelings real bad coz i know deep down i deserve to be loved and not just for sexual pleasure coz thats how it seems to me that am more of a sexual partner.  on the other hand there are guys who have shown interest in me ,  wanting to marry me and al but i turn them down because of him,  ples ples advice me am soo madly in-love and confused. Ur advice Will help me make a wise decision.

Thanks u al. B blessed.

u're in love, he needs someone to fill in the gaping hole in his heart . . . sexually if i may add. You came in handy and you'll be out the door the minute he finds the exact replica of his late wife.

Sorry dear.

you need to dump his ass! he is just using you for sex! a man that can't acknowledge you in front of his peeps ain't your man! .you are just his shag-maid!

mayanka:


on the other hand there are guys who have shown interest in me , wanting to marry me and al but i turn them down because of him, ples ples advice me am soo madly in-love and confused. your advice Will help me make a wise decision.

@topic shine your eyes oh! wake up from that sexually -induced euphoric cloud .

there's nothing as painful as loving someone who doesnt love you back or doesnt love you as much. 
Rule number one, never never allow any man use you for sex. never. You do not deserve to be treated like that. delete his number, don't return his calls and move on.Let him pay a prostitute to get his rocks off.
it has happened , fine but shame on you if you don't wise up and you continue returning to his bed to give him more .

@ ika

which time you reach India, from Abia state to India Na wa for you.


@ mayanka

you say this dude is from West Africa right, are you sure he don't have a new wife back home. That may be the reason his keeping you away from his family.

his wife may really be dead but very often men in mourning just need the comfort of a woman's warm body to console them . they really arent looking for commitment so soon. tragic if you are that unfortunate girl to provide the solace because when he recovers he'll start looking for something else.

here's a few tips . . . the average man is looking for an almost carbon copy of the true love he just lost. Any other girl is just temporary fill in the gaps.

Thanks guys for al ur advice, i have to wake up and face the facts that he wants me for sex only. i have decided to let him go even though it Will hurt really bad , better sooner than late and i truly hope by the grace of god I'll meet my better half , Honestly sex with west African is better than east African Men. so big up to all the west Africans out there.