We all know breaking up is hard to do. But unless you're Ross and Rachel, or some teen romance turned happily-ever-after, breaking up is an unavoidable part of life. And while it's up to you to decide what your individual breakup style is, if you want to avoid future bad relationship karma, you'll adopt a few breakup basics.

STEPS

1. Pick an appropriate place. The less public, the better. Remember, ending a relationship is a humbling experience. Don't do it in a place where the person on the receiving end is going to feel more vulnerable than necessary.

2. Choose the right time. Avoid holidays and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries at all costs. Do you really want your ex remembering your insensitivity every time that day rolls around?

3. Do it in person. If the relationship is relatively new, maybe you can get away breaking up over the phone. But come on, if you've been out on more than a handful of dates, isn't that kind of harsh?

4. Be honest but sensitive. No one likes to get dumped. But we at least appreciate the truth when it's over. Unless, of course, the truth is you've stopped finding him/her attractive, you've met someone better, or that you're just plain bored with the relationship.

5. Keep your emotions in check. Don't seem too happy about the breakup: you'll come off as mean-spirited. Just be kind, caring, and considerate. If you must, you can high five your friends later.

6. Don't react. Some people don't handle rejection well. Some people yell, scream, cry. Yes, that sucks. But it doesn't mean you should react to their meltdown. Remember, rejection is tough. You've already got the upper hand by being the dumper. Let the dumpee behave ridiculously if they choose to. And if their tantrum escalates, get the heck out of there!

TIPS

· Many people feel that it is poor etiquette to break up by phone, e-mail, or through an instant messenger system. It is easier to break up with someone if you don't have to look the person in the eye, but you may lose the respect of your mutual friends if you take the easy way out.

· If you handle yourself well during the breakup, chances are you'll avoid any hard feelings with your ex. And while that may not seem so important at the time, it's vital to your future relationship karma!

· The term "break-up" implies a hard stop. But, often, a break-up is really a change in the nature of a relationship, where friendship remains, but a closer physical connection, and a desire to build a life together, is taken away. Try to look at breaking up in a more positive way, and see how it can transform your relationship.

· Think about why you want to break up with them (e.g., you may suspect/hear rumors that they are cheating on you).

· Ask them FIRST. Everybody hates when you break up with them for a reason that isn't even true.

· Think about how maybe if you want out, they might too. Ask them where they think it's going. If something is making being together painful, tell them that being together is hurting you (e.g., long-distance relationships).

· Although it says above pick a private place, this can sometimes lead to emotional conversations that end in sex and another miserable month of "trying to make it work". If it's really over (see warning one), meet in a quiet public place local to the other person for a drink or a coffee. Tell them straight away and succinctly that the reason you're here is to say its over and why - be honest, give the true reason e.g. nothing you do will make up for the fact that you slept with someone else/the fact that you weren't there to pick me up from the hospital after my operation was the last straw, i need someone more dependable etc. Then leave money on the table to cover both drinks and leave. Do not cry until you're far away. Do not call them AT ALL for two weeks - this helps to get some distance.

· Don't tell other people about it until after.

WARNINGS

· Weigh in carefully on your decision to break up, without analyzing it to death. Is this really what your heart wants? You may not be able to reverse your decision once it's made, and you may burn bridges in the process. Could you forgive yourself if you broke up with the man/woman of your dreams?

Will use it when the time comes for me to break up with that fool. . . ROTFL. . .

Toyinrayo! Na wa o! Prospective heartbreaker. Just make sure he isn't a beast at heart,

Jayon,

what else can I tell you?

Thanx for the tips, D time has come for my girl to hit the freeway

Ah! Aye ma le o!

Nice post u got there.

But i say it works in white's man world

haven't you had of the "Black woman's diary"
if no then you need go get the novel or watch the vidoe

Warning!!! to any body who trys this to a niga lady he definatelly gonna get it wrong

Nice post u got there.

   But i say it works in white's man world

haven't you had of the "Black woman's diary"
if no then you need go get the novel or watch the vidoe

Warning!!! to any body who trys this to a niga lady he definatelly gonna get it wrong

Quite true.
Tried it once, it worked.