[b]I happened to read one story in one of the newspapers that really moved me. I'll just give you a brief summary of it.

There was this babe(Let's call her Jane) who met a guy(Mark) while she was in school. She ended up falling in love with him. Mark happened to be a graduate and was working already. He did everything for Jane.

When Jane was serving, Mark told her that he was going out of the country to do his Phd degree. He made Jane promise him that she'll wait for him as he had plans to finish his degree within two years and come back home to take her back with him to the States.

While Mark was over there, he regularly called Jane to assure her of his love and promises to her. Then after about a year, Mark stopped calling. Jane ran from pillar to post trying to get in touch with him. She even went to his family, but those ones were like they hadn't heard from him for a very long time.

This went on for about 3 years, and a heart broken Jane had to admit that she had already lost her Mark to the glories of a foreign land. She decided not to date anyone again.

After about a year or so, she met another guy(Paul) and they started going out together. Very soon Paul proposed to Jane and she accepted. Plans were already on hand for their wedding.

About 6 weeks to their wedding day, Jane got a call and it turned out to be her lost love, Mark. He asked to see her as he was already back in the country. When she finally saw him, old memories came back and she felt very sad. She told him that she was getting married soon and Mark felt very bad. He then asked her to see him the following day to tell her all that happened.

According to him, when he got to the States and enrolled into school, he was very lonely. there was no one to talk to and as yoruba's say, "ajo ko le da bi ile" (there is no place like home). He later met one Nigerian girl there who took it into her stride to make him comfortable. All the while, he knew that this girl was trying to force herself on him, but he always thot of the sweet girl he left behind at home and who was waiting for him to get back.

Unfortunately, one night he found himself taking this girl to bed and sleeping with her. That's when he decided that he had had enough of this girl and he told her point-blank to stop coming to his flat. The girl started shouting and picked up a knife, but instead of attacking him, she stabbed herself twice in the arm. Fearing for his safety, he wrestled the knife from her. It was at this point that local policemen entered the flat and met him with a knife and a bleeding girl. He realised at that point that he was in deep trouble.

Afterwards, he was charged to court and found guilty of attemped murder and assault. He was sentenced to prison for 10 years, but his friends worked hard and he got out of prison after serving half the time(which accounted for his loss in contact). Now he had finished his degree and all the while was thinking whether he'll still find his baby back home.

After Jane heard all this, she broke down and wept like a baby. She thot, "here is a guy i loved and still love so much, who went through hell just because of me, and now i'm getting married to another man in a month's time. What do i do?"

Now ladies, if you were in Jane's shoes, what would you have done? Would you cancel the marriage and go back to your previous love? Or will you decide that it's too late for anything and therefore go on with the wedding? guys your views are also welcome. [/b]

Tough question. I would cancel the wedding - only to get my thought and feelings in check. I still love the love of my life, but I have now fallen in love with another man. Not an easy dilemma. Has the love of my life changed given his 5 year spell in prison? Do we still share the same values etc as we did 5 years ago? How much have I changed in 5 years? What qualities in a man do I now consider valuable in a long term relationship? Does my long lost love have these qualities? Am I still IN LOVE with him, or do I LOVE him unconditionally and care for him? What a dilemma! After all I no longer know him.

a very tough question i'll advice her to cancel the weding and give herself time to think about it. cause if she goes back to her ex and desides to marry him and she later finds out that he is not who he used to be then she is in for a mess and on the other hand if she desides to go on with the wedding and marries her fiance she may find herself unhappy for the rest of her life. so i'll advice her to seek god's councel on this and follow her heart.