Tomoria: Yes oh.. Ofc, some girls are just hustlers. But for me, if I truly like the guy it's not because of his money. The fact that a guy offers to pay for me is charming and all, but I like paying for myself sometimes. A grown woman shouldn't ONLY depend on her man taking care of her. That's rubbish IMO.

you should like paying for yourself ALL THE TIME!

Tomoria: Yes oh.. Ofc, some girls are just hustlers. But for me, if I truly like the guy it's not because of his money. The fact that a guy offers to pay for me is charming and all, but I like paying for myself sometimes. A grown woman shouldn't ONLY depend on her man taking care of her. That's rubbish IMO.

Smart girl

If you believe what a girl says about this money/spending issue, then you're on a looong thing. The ones that don't ask for cash outright are often the most dangerous sef. They lure you into a false sense of safety (as in, oh my babe is different oh, she is not demanding and money-conscious like the others, modupe fun Olorun oh). Na big lie. More often than not, those types expect you to use your 'church mind' (as the colloquialism goes) to 'support' them with cash where necessary, or buy them nice gifts every now and then, take them out to swanky places/ eat outs ever so frequently, etc (all of which still require varying levels of spending). If you fail to do those, she might not complain, but she'd sooner or later cave in to the pressures of more spendthrift 'alternatives' - in addition to the 'wise counsel' of her friends, sisters and whatnot - and manufacture a convenient non-spending-related reason to dump your broke/stingy/recession-hit azz for a more 'caring' and 'reasonable' guy.

For most Naija females (regardless of 'class'), while you might not have to spend to gain access to her 'love' (whatever that means to you), more often than not, you need to spend to retain/maintain/sustain/consolidate your access to that so-called love. . .as the case may be.

^^^ I totally believe you 100%
You are so on point.

pro01: If you believe what a girl says about this money/spending issue, then you're on a looong thing. The ones that don't ask for cash outright are often the most dangerous sef. They lure you into a false sense of safety (as in, oh my babe is different oh, she is not demanding and money-conscious like the others, modupe fun Olorun oh). Na big lie. More often than not, those types expect you to use your 'church mind' (as the colloquialism goes) to 'support' them with cash where necessary, or buy them nice gifts every now and then, take them out to swanky places/ eat outs ever so frequently, etc (all of which still require varying levels of spending). If you fail to do those, she might not complain, but she'd sooner or later cave in to the pressures of more spendthrift 'alternatives' - in addition to the 'wise counsel' of her friends, sisters and whatnot - and manufacture a convenient non-spending-related reason to dump your broke/stingy/recession-hit azz for a more 'caring' and 'reasonable' guy.

For most Naija females (regardless of 'class'), while you might not have to spend to gain access to her 'love' (whatever that means to you), more often than not, you need to spend to retain/maintain/sustain/consolidate your access to that so-called love. . .as the case may be.

u just said crap, mostly borne of a very biased, bitter mind.

There are always exceptions to every rule. Same way not all u men are pathetic.

In summary, there is no love without finance. Chikena!

acidtalk: ^^^ I totally believe you 100%
You are so on point.

u seem to be easily convinced when anyone makes a 'seemingly meaningful' statement.
Don't follow the crowd.
Make ur own observations.

MRbrownJAY:

sista, there are NO worthy cause...the ONLY worthy cause is because you decided that you wanted to give it to her, BECAUSE SHE DESERVED IT. all them other excuse are garbage!

- if she asks for a phone, give her your old Nokia 3210.
- if she asks for rent, ask her if her father is homeless/dead.
- if SHE wants to cook for you in your house then SHE buys the food, or settles herself with the food that is already there.
- if you have been able to clean your house before you met her, then she clearly can do the same with what is already there.
- if she doesnt have a dress to wear to an upscale event, then either DONT invite her, or let her wear something she already has.

none of these point are "understandable" as you stated.



i can see many reason why i would call a "girl" greedy or undeserving......pls sista, dont misunderstand the words in the bible about MARRIAGE, and comparing them with how to act around some "girl" that is not even your wife.

asking for craziness like phone etc has nothing to do with financial buoyancy, but all to do with greed. if a lady wants to know how financially buoyant we are, she should simply ask for our banks statement and payslip, duh!

I am talking in terms of marriage of course.
What concerns me with boyfriend/girlfriend things?
The guy has NO obligations to any girl whatsoever at that stage.... So to me, bf/gf finance talk is not worth my time.

Wislet: u seem to be easily convinced when anyone makes a 'seemingly meaningful' statement.
Don't follow the crowd.
Make ur own observations.

My brain uses Solar Power.
and since its evening and the sun isnt shinig, i can barely think.
so i need to follow what people say.

Wislet: u just said crap, mostly borne of a very biased, bitter mind.

There are always exceptions to every rule. Same way not all u men are pathetic.

Shebi i am one of those guys who aren't pathetic?
tell me dear. i am eager to know.

acidtalk:

My brain uses Solar Power.
and since its evening and the sun isnt shining, i can barely think.
so i need to follow what people say.

hehheheheehehee

acidtalk:

Shebi i am one of those guys who aren't pathetic?
tell me dear. i am eager to know.

[quote author=acidtalk]errr...i'll tell u thru email. Lol
so pass it

No Money No Love, More money more love by gold diggers.

Wislet: u just said crap, mostly borne of a very biased, bitter mind.

There are always exceptions to every rule. Same way not all u men are pathetic.

You this wrinkled old maid. . .u never still find (any) man wey go save you from your misery? I'm sure you'd know much about "a very biased, bitter mind", since that's what long years of spinsterhood have done to you. Don't lose hope. Some octogenarian women eventually find love in old people's home. . .better late than never.

warrior01: In summary, there is no love without finance. Chikena!

Wrong it is bullisht

pro01:

You this wrinkled old maid. . .u never still find (any) man wey go save you from your misery? I'm sure you'd know much about "a very biased, bitter mind", since that's what long years of spinsterhood have done to you. Don't lose hope. Some octogenarian women eventually find love in old people's home. . .better late than never.

The octagenarian has finally found love in me.
Don't you dare abuse my sweet heart again if you don't want me to enter the same shokoto with you.

No apologize to my love so I won't send my dog sexkillz after you. (You sure know he is a very maaaaaad dog at that).

Love is not won by money! Money must be out of the picture for love to happen or an insignificant factor. Each person must be responsible for themselves.

Inked_Nerd:

Like Wislet, there is a heaping load of bias within your statement. While there are bits and pieces of what you said that could make sense only in the minds of bitter men who feel that they have been "wronged", that's not to way that what you've said in its entirety is true. Newsflash, not everyone is out to get your menfolk. Perhaps if you'd take a step back and examine the culture which fosters such notions of a man spending on a woman to "show his love" then you might just see the intricate details in such occurrences. At the end of it all, no one can force you me, or any other inidividual to spend what you don't want to spend, nor can they force you to do what you don't want to do. If someone regardless of gender or motive has given you reason to believe that their reasons for wanting to be in your company may not be what it appears to be then I suggest you re-evalute your relationship with the inidivual.

. . .and if you cannot see that that statement emanates from a hotbed of unadulterated bias, then you should never use that word 'bias' again for you know not what it means. It is laughable how you people conveniently conclude that a person needs to have been "wronged" (whatever the hell that means) in order to comprehend and express the reality of things in the real world. Besides, the protestation that NOT EVERY woman is this way or that way is highly unnecessary, since everyone already realises that there are usually exceptions even within the most sweeping generalisations. One is inclined to believe that only 'guilty' people are apt to quickly latch onto the 'not every one' idea when a PREVALENT phenomenon is being discussed in the context of its PREVALENCE. The true exceptions can only take quiet consolation in the fact that they are different - rather than frothing in the mouth and rushing to defend her species.

The rest of your post is merely an academic exercise - in fact a piece of sophism - meant to present an alternative, BIASED view; it cannot change the FACT that spending is a sine qua non for enduring relationships with MOST NAIJA women irrespective of 'class' and classification. Sensible men know better than believe glib explanations when they know what the real situation is in everyday life. I don't know what the situation is in Scandinavia or in the French-Speaking provinces of Canada, but as long as we're talking about Nigeria and Nigerians. . .only a pathetic liar would pretend not to know the deep-rooted culture and how these things work here (without prejudice to a few exceptions here and there).

talina: Love is not won by money! Money must be out of the picture for love to happen or an insignificant factor. Each person must be responsible for themselves.

Will you still love your boyfriend if he stops spending?

of course.
It's a way of life for me to spend on myself.
And plenty other ladies too

pro01:

You this wrinkled old maid. . .u never still find (any) man wey go save you from your misery? I'm sure you'd know much about "a very biased, bitter mind", since that's what long years of spinsterhood have done to you. Don't lose hope. Some octogenarian women eventually find love in old people's home. . .better late than never.

Is that your sister u're referring to? That's too bad. SMH. Looks like u really have a warped mentality where women are concerned. U think every lady u meet is single/greedy/old?
Just for ur assimmilation, there are plenty real men (which i'm sure u can't qualify to be called one) who'll give an arm & a leg just to date this chikita. U can have a heartbreak from that knowledge.
Won't stoop low as to debate whether am old like u claim or not, cos even u will lose ur power of speech if u meet me.
Only bitter people see evil in the actions of everyone they meet, especially the women folk, though they can't rightfully claim to have met/know everyone. Guess u're the only reasonable human on planet earth?
Get rid of that mentality young man.

Money and Relationship can be compared to oxygen and carbon dioxide... you inhale MONEY.......and breathe out LOVE....
Shikena..

YES he can. I would have thought this wasn't possible previously but I met and dated a girl who gave no hoot about my finances and would refuse if I had attempted to give money.
we broke up later and this was when I got a relatively big paying job compared to what i was earning previously. she was the quintessential lady. funny enoug, the guy she left me for is someone whose salary is not up to one-fifth of mine.

I have an archaic (seemingly) and stubborn belief that guys should never give girlfriends raw cash. my cousins told me it would be difficult to get a girl to like me but my ex prove everyone wrong.

Wislet: I am talking in terms of marriage of course.
What concerns me with boyfriend/girlfriend things?
The guy has NO obligations to any girl whatsoever at that stage.... So to me, bf/gf finance talk is not worth my time.

@Wislet. for marriage, this question should not even come up. cos "his own" and "her own" becomes "our own"

Wislet: Is that your sister u're referring to? That's too bad. SMH. Looks like u really have a warped mentality where women are concerned. U think every lady u meet is single/greedy/old?
Just for ur assimmilation, there are plenty real men (which i'm sure u can't qualify to be called one) who'll give an arm & a leg just to date this chikita. U can have a heartbreak from that knowledge.
Won't stoop low as to debate whether am old like u claim or not, cos even u will lose ur power of speech if u meet me.
Only bitter people see evil in the actions of everyone they meet, especially the women folk, though they can't rightfully claim to have met/know everyone. Guess u're the only reasonable human on planet earth?
Get rid of that mentality young man.

Old hag, what you need to get rid of is your self-delusion. At this stage in your life you should be closer to your God since the end is nigh, and hell-fire looms. Then again, I assume only men on their death-beds would desire you. Stop hiding under the anonymity of the internet to claim cyber Beyonce. Meanwhile, I agree I'm not a "real man"; I don't even know what that shit means. . .not when the definitions of "real man" are as numerous as the wrinkles on your old, flabby azz.

pro01:

Old hag, what you need to get rid of is your self-delusion. At this stage in your life you should be closer to your God since the end is nigh, and hell-fire looms. Then again, I assume only men on their death-beds would desire you. Stop hiding under the anonymity of the internet to claim cyber Beyonce. Meanwhile, I agree I'm not a "real man"; I don't even know what that shit means. . .not when the definitions of "real man" are as numerous as the wrinkles on your old, flabby azz.

Ouch!!!
Are you insinuating I am on my 'death bed' for desiring her? That's too hard for me to take.

Apologize to my sweet heart now.

pro01:

Old hag, what you need to get rid of is your self-delusion. At this stage in your life you should be closer to your God since the end is nigh, and hell-fire looms. Then again, I assume only men on their death-beds would desire you. Stop hiding under the anonymity of the internet to claim cyber Beyonce. Meanwhile, I agree I'm not a "real man"; I don't even know what that shit means. . .not when the definitions of "real man" are as numerous as the wrinkles on your old, flabby azz.

hehehe.
U should be ashamed of urself- Calling a girl names. Wonder where the well trained men hv gone to? SMH
and about de end time thing, yes dear. It is drawing closer and closer. And if u were indeed preparing for it like u claim, u wouldn't be practicing the opposite. Even ur very meaningless words could bar you from it.
And for the upteenth time, I won't enter a debate with u about the 'old hag' thing. Not worth my time.

Meanwhile, enjoy ur misery.
Change. SMH.

.

Wislet: hehehe.
U should be ashamed of urself- Calling a girl names. Wonder where the well trained men hv gone to? SMH
and about de end time thing, yes dear. It is drawing closer and closer. And if u were indeed preparing for it like u claim, u wouldn't be practicing the opposite. Even ur very meaningless words could bar you from it.
And for the upteenth time, I won't enter a debate with u about the 'old hag' thing. Not worth my time.

Meanwhile, enjoy ur misery.
Change. SMH.

I'm very sorry ma. In deference to your old age, and considering the fact that you would see God or the Devil before I do, I'll let you have the last word.

Respectfully yours,
Pro01.

P.S. It's all light-hearted most of the time, even though some people take one's articulation and writing style to mean that his posts are impassioned or "bitter", lol. Let's not take NL too seriously. . .some of us come here to lose all inhibition and enjoy the freedom to be crazy, annoying,irreverent, and unpredictable. Who knows? In real life, I just might be a dude that loves and treats women (like Wislet) well. . .iro nla ni oh. Lol. Oya, run along with acidtalk. . .high time you gave in to his advances.

ladunsky: Money and Relationship can be compared to oxygen and carbon dioxide... you inhale MONEY.......and breathe out LOVE....
Shikena..

Seriously? SMH

Mynd_44:
Seriously? SMH

When I saw it I almost fainted.
How hustle? Shey market sell today sha?

acidtalk:

When I saw it I almost fainted.
How hustle? Shey market sell today sha?

Tiring. But it was all good in the end. How was yours?