Hey Guys,
My baby's dadi neva asks after his baby, doesn't provide for the baby
We had gud times together, he said he loved me, he said he was sent to my life, he said he'l be there- that was b4 the baby, now after the baby?
i told him February 12th this year that it was over, since then he hasn't called to ask after his baby or even me
But you know what, i miss him like crazy
should i just call him and say lets start again and try to be a family or am i just being plain stupid by wanting someone who obviously(i think) doesn't care about baby and me, or was i too rash in my decisions?
Its been 3 years, every time i think i'l get love somewhere else, it cant last cos i want my baby's fada who i dont even think i love again, its just i dont want no stepdady, it's just that there seems to be some kind of connection-(am i paranoid?)
You know that Lagbaja's song- Never Far Away- It spoke to my heart
Should i try and make it work for my son's sake or should i move on and be strong(which i am finding it very hard to be) or should i let my parents adopt him so i dont have to feel connected to his father? Everytime i look at my son, i see his dady and i love my son die!

it can't last because i want my baby's fada who i don't even think i love again

if U dnt love him, why then do U wnt to go back to him? jst for da sake of your baby? your happiness is at stake here too U knw, it's good 4 U to think aba your son's happiness too but this whole story is a bit complicated, first U told him it was over when da baby was born _{[s]what did he do to have made u say that to him?}[/s] it can be very painful for a man to be shut of of his baby's life and that of da woman he loves esp. jst after da baby is born
U didnt quite explain what he did to have made u break up wit him bt whteva it is, im sure he must have been hurt, find out if he's still got something for U, n den carry on from dere thou i thk he must have found himself another lady

the "baby" is 3 years old!
baby's father has neva even bought a shirt for him
it's not just that, i just feel neglected, i just wonda how a man can have a son and not show interest, or am i asking for too much?
like now, he should be starting school but i have to think about all this myself

You must have had a reason for ending the relationship in the first place. if noting has changed since then why change the decision? From what you said I think you are better of without him. Life is too short live the adult part unhappy!

what did he do to have made U end da relationship?

He shows no interest in his son (financially and whateva), has not apologised to my parents (3 years gone) he doesnt think its necessary, keeps waiting for me to chase him. Am kind of hanging, i dont know what my tomorrow is with him, i dont know where i belong in his plans and he neva says even when i ask- he neva chases me- is that not enough reason to quit?

My dear, life is about tommorrow and not yesterday. If you want to have a life then look ahead and not behind. What really is your problem because you do sound confused. I'm not been mean cause i've been in your same shoes and I just dont get what you're confused about. If you think your baby's daddy is not ideal for you why are you crying over him? You obviously want a loving, caring and responsible man, but your ex is none of those things so why are you even giving it a thought?
If you love your son die, take charge of your life and forget your ex for now. Begin to take care of yourself and your child and stop making him go through all this. There is no way you're whining and confusion will not affect your kid-i know what am talking anout. Change your attitude to life and love and move ahead with your life.
Also, your ex doesnt have to apologise to your parents for anything. HE didnt wrong them, YOU did. So dont expect him to apologise to them. He can only do that if he wants to and he obviouly doesnt, so dont even kill yourself over that.
Take charge of your life and move ahead and you'll find someone who loves you for you and is willing to accept your child like I did.

ISACCSMAMA , QUIT

what did i say QUIT

Check out the man ,,,had a baby 3 years now , not even a shirt he didn't buy for t the baby and then your family , he disregards them what do you need that kind of arrogant, wicked man for ,,,a man that will have baby and neglect him is not  a man .he should be sent to the woods to leave with the animals.That is pure cruelty , even if he doesn't love you he should at Least love the baby, from what you have said no matter what you do he doesn't want you for now

Or you said before the baby he was dying for you and after the baby he no longer sends you . i will give you an advise if having your lovely baby has made you not take care of yourself again, then i reckon you change that or if you were slim and figure 8 and now you are like big and stuff , then i will not blame the guy that much for running away so i will tell you take care of yourself , burn the baby fat look elegant .beautiful that even people will not believe you have a baby , then tell me if he will not run back. i wish you all the best caring for a baby it is not an easy job but God will see you through. am not been harsh i am sorry if i sound that way i just get really pissed when a man treats a queen like this

I can feel what u're passing thru

Get yourself together,

Take realistics steps at reconciling with yur baby's fada
1. Pray about the problem at all times
2. Call him and have a heart to
heart with him about building a lasting family with him
3. Encourage (dont chase him desperately) him thru text msgs
and phone calls.
possibly he's confused about the relationship.
4. Ask him politely to share upkeep for the baby with you.
(Dont be too hard on him especially if he's not working)
5. If you know any of his friend or relative that is approachable
contact them and appeal to them.

Jst make sure that you do your best to make him see reasons
the two of you has to be together,
U have affections for him from wat u've said.
And I think he might be at some cross roads.

I wish you the best

maybe u really need to move on with ur life
and take care of ur baby.

gud luck!

Just follow your heart and add prayers along with it.

yea girl
definately he aint been there for 3yrs
if he wants to be part of da childs life then let him
cuz evry child needs a father
but if he doesnt make any attempt to be in da childs life
then plz dnt bother callin him or anythin
dnt force him.

i tink u should move on, u will meet someone dat will love u with all his heart and love ur baby like his, goodluck dear

Move on with your life

If you need a friend, we can talk

No strings cos I have a son half a year younger than yours