₦airaland Forum

@yinka.good day, how was your day?, @clemcy tanxs

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "honey, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"

"Yeah, so?" said the officer.

"Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like the Fire Chief?"

nice one yinka. keep the ball rolling, i know say e nor easy sha

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

yinkalink thanks for explaining the joke, i couldn't lay my hands on my laptop early enuf, here's one to compensate y'all

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeepers,”have you ever committed a sin you truly regrets?” “Yes.”The professor answered. When I was a young candidate at hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the community hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match, I regret that now, “well, said the gate keeper, that’s a very minor sin”. You may enter. “Thank you very much Saint peter. “the professor answered. “You are welcome, but I am not saint peter,” said the gatekeeper. “He’s having his lunch break. I’m Saint Lucas.

thanks y'all here's more

which kind ye-ye right that rat get, 2 years for jail because i kill rat? my papa go hear this one.

]The Greek priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding.
The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, “sir have you been drinking”.
The minster replies, “Just water”.
The trooper asks, “Then, why do I smell wine?”
The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, “Good lord, he’s done it again”.

A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks what’s going on.

"Listening to music," the guy says.

Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"

"Reading a magazine, of course."

"How old are you?" asks the officer.

"I'm 28."

"And how old is she?"

The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."

oh boy siena abi wetin be your name make you rest oh, even Jesus Christ go vex if you nor slap your mama for that amount, N9billion? i go land am slap then one white and one black rolls royce phantom the next morning. even your mama go smile at that, word

Boy do i hate that sh*t hole of a country called iran, all they want is death to america, death to isreal death, death, death, stone, hang,behead. thier cup go soon full,

@nicols i tire for adaphik oo, abi e nor know say na 3 (in 8 days 4) years ago story be dis, lollll

^^^i dey feel you jare

i just saw 50 cent's new video with souja boy and it's crap, he's lost it. he raps with power this simple question got me and a friend arguing. 50 CENT AND RICK ROSS WHO'S A BETTER RAPPER

yeah sweetnecta or what you call your self go start a new counter thread, even in the village where i currently serve(N.Y.S.C) now in maiduguri our local church has like 30 local ex-muslims now christian even though the local government refused to sell a plot of land to the coppers fellowship, and about your growth stat. CHRISTIANITY grew by over 30million while islam grew 23million till JESUS comes christians are going to dominate,reign and rule the world.

@OLAADEGBU and all the christians and soon to convert muslims i pray GOD strengthen y'all in his ministry, peace "islam for CHRIST"

yeah, thats my pastor, and this is for the haters even while the LORD JESUS was on earth he met senior official and soldiers, prostitute. hence "master how can one be born again"remember. every one is open to come the R.C.C.G camp-Muslim, Jew or pagan president or prisoner .so stop hating and get a life, its not only when you spend 24 1/2 hours a day with "holy" people that makes you, your pastor, imam, rabbi "holy"

fellow Nigerians, reading this topic and thread has made my day knowing how much our young now speak up for the truth as i pray soon we will be able to FACE it not only speak up to it. Our much needed revolution is just around the corner. GOD bless Nigerians and Nigeria.

@ blazay, even if she dey on mind altering drug or juju self, my brother e go clear for e eye sharp sharp. i swear

o bobs that one nor mean say me i nor go still go the america ooo. if na only the weather and rest of mind e worth am abeg.

allah is not GOD, there nothing like allah in my Bible. guys or girls Christianity and islam have nothing in common. it is written CLEARLY and BOLDLY that no ONE, no ONE comes to the father except through me(JESUS). peace

my dear VIOLENT and CLOWN don't mind this outgrown or underage FANATIC-ISH, M.U.M.U.I.S.H ,S.T.U.P.I.D.I.S.H, UN-PATROTIC-ISH soul called tolu these are the types that wish Nigeria was a 101% muslim nation living in caves shouting death to America, cutting off heads of INFEDELS daily. stoning 17 years old girls for not marrying 71 old men. please reserve your comments for someone or something deserving. one love 9ja. tolu leave nairaland ooooooo, lol

@tolu001  i think your transparent skull lets out any sense you were born with, what do you call a country that openly declares all non muslims enemies and death to who ever is not with them. do you know how the "enemies" in the country face persecution daily.their ROGUE stations and nuclear abition, china wannnabe. i believe you're one of those that wish the arms made it to your fanatic BROTHERS S.T.U.P.I.D

Iran is a rogue nation that needs to be wiped out (it's entire government and ayatollahs) they seek to arm fanatics in nigeria like they armed hezbollah in lebanon, and they do think they're even up 1/100 of the u.s or isreal. so much for diplomacy

i agree the header should be redesigned but nice the way you're willing to learn from any mistake you might have . keep it up mehn

i've gone through the website, it's very new a friend of mine said it was created by 21 year old nigerian, it has lots of potentials to rival maybe facebook someday in nigeria, nice to know not all who know something about computes are in scam