₦airaland Forum

Mariangeles:
You can take all the time-off you need, but GOD is not done with you yet.

Don't write certain things off.

You don't have to think it, just loose yourself to GOD, and HE will take things from there.

GOD will perfect everything that concerns you in His time, in ways you never even thought of.

You will remember these words.

Solid words! Thanks for the encouragement, and thank you for sharing, Maria.

Esthered:
Your a strong and considerate man.

Esther mi..... Thank you

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
I understand you bro.
Really understand you.
The new generation of men are likely not marriage inclined anyway.
A sizeable percentage of modern women are highly risky investment for most men.
How do you invest your time, money, effort etc in something that can easily work out of your life for flimsy excuses? She is tired, lost interest, highly unfaithful/cheats, paternity fraud and God bless you she is financially more stable than you, then you have a woman rubbing shoulder with you in the house, disrespectful, insultive and unremorsefully unsubmissive

My brother, these are definitely things to be concerned about. People are beginning to re-evaluate the whole idea of marriage. I’ve noticed that many who get married do so largely due to pressure...peer pressure, family pressure, religion, social media. Maybe we all are influenced to some extent. Then we get into it and start wondering, 'Is this even worth it?' I don’t know, maybe I’m in the wrong environment here, but the level of dissatisfaction many people feel in their marriages is too obvious to ignore. There’s the man feeling overwhelmed, underappreciated, emotionally drained, and always angry in the house due to reality, lol. Then there’s the woman who, now financially better off post-marriage, feels she might have been better off staying single. In all, I still believe that for those who’ve never been married, it’s an experience worth trying, but only if they go into it with the right, realistic mindset.

emmaodet:
You are not using that airtel ending with 89 again?

Oh yes… I’ve abandoned it since I was barred . I can share my alternate number

emmaodet:


Bro, you no dey marry again?

My brother, it's never happening again. Too many reasons:


- There's nothing about marriage I haven't seen or experienced to some extent. I feel like I've reached the peak. The euphoria of a new journey is gone. Going in with that mindset will be unfair to a new partner.
- I think it would be unfair getting married to another woman whom I may continually expect to measure up to my (late) wife.
- I think it would be unfair to my late wife and especially the kids (if I fall into a bad marriage).
- I'm already learning to find peace in being on my own.
- I can't risk going through some trauma. Pregnancy scares the hell out of me now.
- Etc.

Goo0dHardDick:
Damn!

MTN data no dey pass 2 days no matter how much you subscribe.

You people should stop blaming MTN for everything though. We all update our apps everyday to accommodate new data consuming features. There's hardly any week these apps don't come up with a new feature. Just recently, WhatsApp introduced another one that allows users update their status with songs. But we want to keep using 2GB for 1 week. As how na? Let's direct the anger to Baba Sope. He is the main and ONLY problem.

Maeve7:
Ok, no relegating to domestic partner. What else do you guys bring to the table?

I'm not in the best position to answer this, sadly. I don't have anything to bring to anybody's table again. I hope married men and others still willing to get married can answer you.

bukatyne:
Relegating means you think household tasks are beneath him; fine.

So I ask; if this man who thinks chores are beneath him loses his source of income, what is his usefulness in the marriage? What other values is he bringing to the marriage at that point.

I don't think household tasks are beneath him. I believe both spouses MUST do chores, whether they are working outside the home or not, whether one party is employed or not.

bukatyne:
@bold:

What does relegating the husband to a domestic partner mean?

And I haven't seen a wife who contributes NOTHING to the emotional/ domestic aspect of the marriage.

None.

Relegating him to a domestic partner means assigning him primarily to household tasks, like cooking or cleaning, mainly because he is unemployed or perceived as idle. Intention/motive is key.

lordm:
How will you receive otp for online transaction and other things

Hmm, but do you get charged for otp and other texts from banks like birthday greetings, etc? I'm only deactivating SMS alerts. The bank should be responsible for other texts, which include otp, advertisements, and holiday greetings. I shouldn't be paying N7 for getting a birthday greeting or otp from my bank.

pocohantas:
I don't know anyway you can deactivate it remotely. You have to go to the bank because you should sign an indemity form.

Right, I should do this on Monday.

Basicend:
You can call their customer service line.

They will send a form to you via ur email address, you will fill it, scan and send back to them.

You may decide to change it to PDF file before u send it.

Oh really? I might just have to go as people have suggested. It takes forever to get these people to respond.

OlujobaSamuel:
Just find time to go do that in the banking hall bro.
They will give you an indemnity form to fill just to scare you, persuading you not to deactivate it as if their life depends on it.
None of my accounts is having SMS alert activated, I'm cool with my email alert and checking app

airsaylongcome:
You have to walk into a branch and sign an indemnity form. Physical sign it in ink

nairalanda1:
As suggested, go to the banks and ask for assistance.

And download the app too.

Thanks guys for the advice. Will go ahead and do exactly that.

How do we deactivate SMS alerts from banks without walking into a physical branch, please? I feel like most bank apps, especially this GTB app are useless. Basic things like this should be possible at the click of a button.

I need to deactivate this f vc ke ry ASAP.

Congratulations, bro.

I don't understand this statement: "I bought baby things for my lovely wife." Why are you buying baby things for an adult?

TrackerSK:
During your time, insecurity wasn't rampant like this.Some of them are following their kids because of insecurity in the country

...and when they gain admission, the parent will relocate to his/her child's hostel? We are really losing it.

Parents now take their children to JAMB centres? 16-20+ year old's?

It wasn't a mistake. You guys just wanted Delta State money 💰 for your campaigns.

It should have been PO against BAT, with Atiku supporting from the side and Buhari and Osibanjo playing a very neutral role - defending the people's votes.

emmaodet:


Gbam!!!!!!

This one wey Mr Acid dey disch out redpill quotes nowadays, Bros wetin happen?
You never tell us oo.

My oga, I'm just stating the truth o.

I never wanted it, but I did it for their mother/my wife. I’ve always believed that babies should remain untouched and completely natural until they’re 18 and able to make certain (not all) decisions for themselves.

The argument that piercing a baby’s ears at a younger age is better because they feel less or no pain is nonsense and irrational. My babies cried when it was done, as did other babies I saw. They all felt pain, but due to our selfish behaviour as adults and our love for irrelevant optics, we tend to dismiss babies’ pains simply because they can't resist.

If a woman is doing much better financially, the best approach is to support her partner by helping him establish a trade, business, or other venture to elevate his status, rather than relegating him to a domestic role.

Solving a problem by "forcefully" turning one partner into a domestic spouse, whether man or woman, is evil. Both partners should contribute financially and do household chores. The idea of who contributes more in either role should be irrelevant. Experience has also shown that the one earning more could actually have more time to spend at home than the other. This is 2025.

If you allow your wife to solely handle financial contributions while she does nothing with household chores, you are setting yourself up for failure. This is the truth: you will lose her respect, and she WILL eventually view other men at her workplace as better than you.

Bar1941:
Obi should stop pretending as if he’d not been part and parcel of the problem. He was a governor for 8years and people from the state he governed cursed him for the level of hardship he brought upon them in those period. All of a sudden, tribalism and celebration of mediocrity made the same people turned him an hero overnight. Perhaps due to the brewery that brews Hero beer that was the only achievement he brought to them.

He was a bla bla bla....

franchasng:
Dear Seun, they are gradually pushing you towards self destruction of your forum oh


This is a public forum, this blocking feature will kill the fun of the forum. A forum is not a private space where people come to seek for solitude or privacy, it's a public space for sharing diverse opinions on issues of life.


This feature is not needed on the forum, if I am to advice you, shelve the idea asap.


Add dislike button.


If it is possible, let the comment that gets the highest number of likes or upvote be automatically moved to the first comment after the original post.



And then consider monetization of old accounts' posts and threads

Why has the block feature not destroyed Twitter (X) and other social media platforms? Is Twitter not a public space?

ceejay80s:
Sincerely it doesn't Seun
My view is important and ur view too is important, so because u don't like my view or because u want to have ur own way , I shouldn't criticize or voice out or share my own point of view?
Nairalanders will just be banning themselves anyhow,
Give blacks small power and watch how they misuse it,
A dislike botton would have been better

There is no social media platform without a block button/feature. It's a good idea. We must be willing to accept change.

Gerrard59:
With this coming from you, the feeling I experienced when I saw the moniker eh. It cannot be described! For you to say this, it means you have seen it all.

I might be accused of being immature or rude, but for YOU to say this, that is the end. Make everybody go house. The church session haff end.

Sooner or later, there is one last bus stop you will arrive at. I will print that one and stamp it in my room.

LMAO 😅😅

We all need to see and observe certain trends more critically.

bukatyne:
The ruthless ones are minute out of the pool.

Hmmn....

bukatyne:
Acid, the true reason women today are wary of 'building' with a man is because they have seen their mothers and grandmothers building with nothing to.show for it.

Most of the older rich men sleeping with young girls, or marrying young blood were men whom their wives built with.

A man marries the woman he needs when he is young and then gravitates to the woman he wants when he has made money (if he doesn't have the fear of God). Muslims have made it official: marry a 'let's build together' when he is young and struggling then starts picking hot and sexy younger hajias to warm his blood.

At least if the man is rich and he betrays you in future, it wouldn't pain you so much.

I don’t quite agree with the cheating angle completely. I would argue that when it comes to cheating, men and women are pretty much on the same level. Some might just be more discreet about it. I have always believed that anyone marrying a Muslim man already prepares her mind for co-wives. Their religion permits it; a section of the law permits it. So, no excuse for them.

I think we are just caught up in some kind of social engineering as a society, where these patterns of behavior and expectations are being shaped by bigger forces like the economy, not necessarily the realities of our aged parents. Consider the economy of those years vs today's economy.

Maobichek:
It's a Nigerian issue ok, in Europe and Asia, rich men associates freely with people, go about their normal business without flaunting anything ok.

A man i met on my way to work last week Wednesday said that he was ejected from a house in Paris because he went with a bicycle; he was told that car(s) are not owned in that house let alone bicycle; everyone uses train or public busses.

Hmn, I figured as much. What’s going on in Nigeria with all this social posturing certainly can't be a global trend.

Maobichek:
Good morning, i quite agree with you but bear in mind that we are no longer in the 18th/19th century ok, a whole lot have changed. My parents started in one room, our first son was a teacher when he married but these days, it's something else.

Nevertheless, there are still some exceptions ok; a junior colleague wanted to go and see the would-be father in-law, he planned to go by bus but his wife-to-be preferred traveling by air and this young lady paid for their flight tickets herself and didn't demand any form of reimbursement from the young man.

True, we are no longer in the 19th century, but is this destructive societal menace not peculiar to Nigeria?

I’m just wondering: do most countries have the Cubana, E-Moneys of this world, and "money na water" boys who go about flaunting and splashing money at every big man's wedding in Lagos and Abuja?

I’m also wondering if most countries have a large population of "God when?" women who get triggered in their illusions anytime they see the "Jul and mini Iyabo Ojo's" weddings of this world. I’m just wondering if this 21st-century shift is peculiar to Nigeria or if it is simply a global trend.

pocohantas:
I still see many, Acid. I saw one yesterday on TikTok and people were calling the guy ugly. The few luxury weddings online between the middle class and rich has made many lose touch with reality, but let's not forget Nigeria is still a country with over 200m people and a pregnant woman and her unborn child died because her husband couldn't make a tidy deposit for an emergency surgery. There are non-cosmopolitan states (outside Lagos, Abj, PH and co) where you can find "real love" if you are so desperate for one. Even in Lagos, you can come to my area _Amukoko. Real love full here.

Lol. I agree that Nigeria is too big for TikTok noise to define everything. But at the same time, we can’t ignore the fact that a lot of people who though started well from nothing are now regretting it because society keeps feeding them the idea that they deserve more than what their husband and they themselves can provide. The problem isn’t just the absence of love; the mindset shift is a bigger problem.

Maobichek:
Good day, most men including myself "married down" and are still doing well for our families and in-laws. To be frank with you, both men and women should be doing something, non should be a liability.

Lastly, one thing i observed from marrying down as a man is that you will plan better because you have responsibilities and your in-laws will always respect you because their daughter is comfortable.

Marrying down may earn you the above, but it has created significant societal problems over time. Every woman, whether rich, hardworking, lazy, or poor now believes she deserves the same kind of man (odogwu para-nonsense). Obviously, most will not get this man in a poor society like Nigeria, so they settle for (and, in some cases, resent) the available man.

We are gradually destroying the era of building together, from nothing to something. When was the last time you read about couples who started their relationship on campus?

If we are not telling the abroad guy to come back to the village to pick a wife, we are advising a girl without a job in Sango to go to Lagos Island clubs and position herself for her dream man. We are not helping the younger ones at all. Many of them will never experience real love.

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
Thank God you are seeing what we have been parroting for years.
I just hope average men can be this ruthless too and look beyond worthless beauty and sex.
There are 2 sides of a relationship - Love and Business.
Most women consider the 2 ruthlessly. You can be handsome, caring and good on bed (the Love/Attraction side) but how financially buoyant are you to sustain a family (the Business side)? She may date you for sometime but will drop the relationship at the shortest moment when a better option shows up.
For men, please watch out for this too.
Beauty, nice shapes - bumbum and boobs, caring, respectful, God-fearing etc is the Love side. Unfortunately most men are totally satisfied with it.
The Business side? By associating with her, what do you benefit from her? How does associating with her rubs positively on you?
Good examples -
A lady working high class jobs at LNG, Mobil, Nigeria Bewery etc that dating and marrying her gives you connections to contracts, helps you recruit your brothers or friends into these organisations because she is part of the HR or knows someone there.
Dating and marrying high status men's daughters like senators, governors, corporate top dogs daughters that associating with these ladies helps and makes your journey in life softer. I can explain on this later.
I am tired of seeing men working themselves up a bit all just to come back to Nigeria to pick a broke poor lady, regularly pulling broke ladies up and her family but when the tidy turns, the lady won't hesitate to leave

Nothing else to add, my brother.

bukatyne:
If women were really ruthless, 60% of Nigerian men will not be married.

They were ruthless at some point. Many just got f00led or lured, my sister.