₦airaland Forum

Avoid BENIN WOMEN AND MEN. It takes the grace of God to have a partner that is BENIN that have sense. That tribe ehn.

THANK YOU SIR.
God Bless you.

ehissi:
First of all, I didn't see anything said about children from my speed reading, anyway, choose a day in the week and sit her down and make it clear to her just as you have itemized it here, the problems with your relationship with her.

Let it start from the sex angle, 35 is too early in a woman's life to be dodging sex duty or having low sex drive, some women are called cougars for a reason, it could be trauma related or hormonal, whatever the case maybe, she needs to seek help from a license professional not a pastor on this issue because hatred of sex at 35years old is a problem, get it clear she has a problem not you. You have 50year old women putting their husband waist under pressure then 35year old woman dey squeeze face,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If she tries to make light of it or insult you, make it clear that you would rather get a new wife who is serious on working on herself and her relationship with her husband and marriage than fornicate. Sex is her sacred duty recognized by law and all religious faith/institutions under the covenant of marriage, its the one thing no woman can do for her so if she is playing with it then she is a very unserious and irresponsible wife...........and for the record, denial of sex is a strong ground for seeking/getting a divorce both in court and traditional setting.


And no, you are not a goat, you are a full blown man with a healthy sexual appetite, she should be grateful that you dont have a problem in that department and not use her family to manipulate/disrespect you into not asking for sex when the hunger for it has come upon you..................

Then you will need to seek out a licensed phycologist/psychiatrist and the 2 of you should go there and seek counselling and work it out. Take note, it is not a family problem and it is something that should be worked out between the 2 of you, but refusing to work it out is a serious marital problem and by extension it is a family problem..............

This hatred of sex sometimes is a matter of low sex drive and maybe hormonal, so she will also need to go for test and check her progesterone levels and if possible engage hormonal therapy.

Start from there first and thank me later............

Ask any doctor if they can refer you to physchologist/pyschiatrist..............

Make it crystal clear that she needs to change otherwise she will need a new husband and you will be needing a new wife, you cannot cope with a frigid wife, she needs counselling from a trained professional not a pastor.

She should see a Doctor and have her hormones checked, she is probably low on progesterone.

And for the record marriage and relationships in marriage takes 2 to work, dont accept this "you are a man bullshit". She must just be willing and ready to work on your marriage as you are just as willing to understand.

If she refuses to accept to seek professional help, then start the process of disengaging and seeking a new mate/wife and give her distance. If her family call you, it will be on record that you sought professional help for her mentally and physically and she has refused, timetable for sex is denial of sex and that is a marital war crime. Even in court that wont fly........................

Its left to you, to be pitying someone all in the name of being nice who will insult you and disrespect you without a moments hesitation..................why stay in a marriage with a woman who doesnt even want you or is even attracted to you sexually in anyway? Get help then invite her follow you to get checked, she refuses then stop listening to her, stop eating from her and start the process of disengaging legally from that marriage......

This is my take, no emotions no sentiments...................

I packed her load in my car one day. SHE REFUSED GOING. SHE SAID it to my face that she isn't going anywhere. LOL. Omo, I packed everything and wanted to carry her, she didn't. SO DIDNT WANT TO FORCEFULLY carry her so I don't injure her. I DO NOT BEAT HER. I do not raise my hands or her. NEVER. Infact, the worst I do is to leave the house for a day or 4 days and then come back and the whole issue continues.

OKUCHI11:
don't divorce her ooo..just tell her you need some space...take her back to her parent... Let her be there for like a year...

I decided to respond to you. For you taking out so much time to write this. I have to correct you since also you are a female.
Thank you. Now pay attention:
Our sex life was great when we were dating. She does all manner of stuff then TO SPICE IT UP.
INFACT, I once paid for her to travel to ITALY because she said she wanted to go to ITALY to 'hustle'. Though, the person ate the money and it didn't work out again. So since then, I used to wonder that, someone who wants to go to 'Italy to hustle' with her body, but yet, I decided to marry her and then she acts weird. But few months to getting married, she started shutting herself that no more sex until we got married. Though I was already planning the whole marriage thing.
Guess what? After marriage, the night of marriage, my wife refused to follow me home. SHE SAID SHE WOULD COME THE NEXT DAY. That she wants to count money they sprayed us. It was her family members that told her, never that she should move to her husband's house that night.

OK LISTEN.
The few months after marriage, I started seeing some signs, quarells, she would narrate me to her family about how we make love and all that, but later it stopped before her sister called me a dog. The sex I am talking about not the regular great sex you make out with a woman after marriage. Its only missionary style and you cannot spend more than 15mins. I am not capping or trying to make you pity me. I am 100000% telling you the truth. After that, no more sex, no more rounds.

The only time my wife satisfied me was when one day she took a lot of alcohol and told me she wants to get drunk to satisfy me. that was the day. It was 2 years ago. Since then, it has been vibes.

The infidelity part was because of her constant denial, quarells. Imagine trying to meet with your wife and she would give you an elbow. She would kick you, push her self away. This was before the infidelity. This was what she did. I became frustrated and after everything. She changed. She started behaving well with the usual 1 round 3 times per week. Until recently, she changed the formula to the normal 1 round and 2 times per week. The 1 round cannot even pass 15mins - she would start yelling you to get up. Omo, I go get up o make she nor say an rape. LOL. That was the formula. I am a man. I cannot go 1 round. EVEN MY PASTOR TOLD HER. She promised him she would change but turn again to the usual formula.

OK LISTEN. In the areas of finance, I buy her gifts. Even after the infidelity. I bought her a very expensive gift. I would not say it here so her family members doesn't get to understand this post.

YOU MIGHT SAY SHE IS TIRED - My dear, she only cooks in our house 1 time per week. Thats on SATURDAY. THE OTHER DAYS are cooked by her brother. YES, her brother stays with US IN the house . The male cook is her junior brother. He does all the washing, cleaning, cooking in the house during the days. My wife is focused on her business and money and everything. I am doing very comfortable as well. I would not want to be too detail on that.

DISRESPECT
This is the height of it. Someone who hisses after her normal 1 round of sex with you. Ha, sometimes I go just dey look stupid cos of this woman because everyone says I should be patient. Patient for 5 years. She's not even ready to change but making it worse. I am not even capping. She would re-adjust quickly and push you out when you are making out and wants to spend more than 15mins. NO KISSES AND NO SO MUCH TOUCHING. The worst is the shouts she does. Its the disrespect I hate most. Sometimes, when the urge gets too much and i try to come back, she would shout at you. That she's tired. She would even run to the sitting room and lock herself.

My wife told me she wanted to fix a nose ring. SHE SAID she wants it. i told her. i do not like the idea of that. It doesn't make her look responsible. She is very healthy and doing really great. She really knows how to respect her family members, and people outside, give correction and advice. But to me at home, She disrespect, shouts, talks back at you. Even when i try to calm her down to talk to her. She would get up and go back to her room. We sleep in a separate rooms. We stay separately right from when we got married. mAYBE THATS THE CAUSE. But at this time, I just pray God helps me. I am not looking for pity. I just want to know why some women act this way.

My wife doesn't care about satisfaction. SHE DOESNT CARE. She doesn't cheat. YES, I know that cause i have seen her chats many times even without her knowledge.

SHE WOULD BOAST TO ME THAT SHE CAN STAY 1 YEAR WITHOUT SEX.

Towma:
In Nigeria and Africa as a whole, women are taught to hide their sexual nature and be chaste, be pure, etc etc, while men can sleep around and be naturally polygamous.

This unbalance will definitely mentally program both the men and women to feel sex is mostly of benefit to men. White women DO NOT act like this. Women in western countries like UK and USA are allowed to explore their sexuality and be expressive without being shamed.
I visited a sex forum on reddit and the men were actually complaining that they were tired of sexual demands from their partners in the bedroom.

I am not saying women should be promiscuous, just that there must be a balance for things to work and for sexual compatibility to be possible.

Also OP, you mentioned that you cheated on her in the past and threw remote at her and she fainted, how have you been treating this woman in the past? Please tell the truth and don't tell only the side that paints her bad. Because I know as a woman if my man sleeps with another woman it will be impossible for me to sleep with him without imagining if this thing he is doing in the bedroom is not the exact thing he does with other women. I know society doesn't favor women when it comes to husbands cheating but it's actually VERY traumatizing to find out one's husband cheated.

Women are not robots that were programmed to forgive infidelity, we have blood running through out veins. If your wife slept with another man I am sure the idea of sleeping with her after another man has been there will be very irritating to you, xbut women who are naturally more emotional and softer are expected to just swallow everything and move on because it's "natural".

May men have come to the thread and given male point of view, let me give the female point of view. How has your treatment o her been, truly? Are you rude, neglectful? Do you beat her, do you embarrass her outside? When sex life was still a bit good, before the timetable phase, was she achieving orgasm or the sex was just all about satisfying yourself with her body? I am not accusing you of anything. Sorry that the situation got this bad, but please try and see if you have been not so good to her in the past

Women naturally in the beginning stages of a relationship treat you how they WANT to be treated then as time goes on, they treat you how you treat them. Good luck, I hope you resolve your marital issues.

Carcholce:
It is not childhood trauma. OP is appearing too needy of sex. It’s a turn off for women. Women secretly yearn to want sex else they get turned off. If OP had played his part really well, the wife will be the one calling family meeting on him because he does not touch her as much as She wants.

Hahaha. I am not too needy but have been patient. You didnt read my post well. 5 years for missionary style 10mins. No deep intense. Few times a week. Haba. Coupled with the disrespect everyday. Family have adviced. Church have adviced.

Carcholce:
Another mistake. Go out and register at a gym center. Come back home looking all sweaty and agitated. Like the person you quoted said. You have to become really mysterious. Doesn’t mean you should cheat. Just do your thing but do not stop showing your love and support on the home front.

I will take this advice. Though i have a gym at home. Thank you.

Merry100:
I don't believe she would willingly choose to withhold sex from you. You both need to have a discussion. I suggest you ask if she experiences any discomfort or pain during sexual activity, it's possible she has a medical condition that affects sexual experience.

We have had countless discussion. I just decided to pour my heart here to get responses. I cant even call our pastor, her parents and mine. The worst part of it is the disrespect. No healthy discussions like adult. Just anger and bitterness.

Lonestar124:
Move to which frontpage, the responses you have received so far, so you can make use of it...

I hate men that can make a self decision without listening to others opinion....

Thanks. I have receieved great responses.

advanceDNA:
Bros i nor jump .....i read ur post.. u said she reduced it from 3 times to twice a week.

See...only rare breeds of women that over-like sex or are used to fvcking for money will be open to sex more than 3 times a week, no matter how good u are...

Once a woman has good orgasm today..before she go enter naturally become hoŕny again...e go take a while....

baba...twice a week is not a bad ........ i dont know how ur body is ooo...but most guys say frequent/next to everyday sex nor dey sweet ...a short period of absteinance, like 3 to 4 days makes the climax sweeter.....

You do not understand the post. You didn't read where I said, she does only 1 round and its missionary style and that's it. She pushes you to get up and leave her. She would even hiss at you. She would complain that you last so long that I should cum and get up. Omo, I don see things. LOL How can 1 round of sex be enough. Someone who hates kisses, just knack 1 round missionary and go. How would that satisfy me. Then I have to do that just twice a week. Anyway, thanks for your comments.

My wife doesn't care about orgasm. Cant remember when last she had one. Just missionary, 10 to 15mins. that's all. There's no intense sex and all wanting me. Nothing.

Ixodes:
OP sorry o

Thank you. LOL

SenecaTheYonger:
They don't respect him because he doesn’t have the balls to cheat, he doesn't have the balls to walk away. They know anytime they beg him, he will come back like a cow.

Get a side chick for one year to relive your tension. Treat your wife like a room mate.

I love these bold words. Thank you. SO DIRECT. You hit the nail. This is exactly what they feel. The mother tells me to my face, that if I want to serve her daughter divorce papers, I should bring it. My wife also says she's ready. They don't care. I cannot even pick phone to report my wife to them again. Even with her sisters. I cant try it. The elder sister doesn't listen to me when I try to talk about issues of my wife. I have stopped visiting them since 3 years. Omo, a lot of things to say, be like I go delete this thread.

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

EVERYTHING you just put up is exactly how she does. Dont hug her, she's so defensive. You cannot have a healthy discussion with her. Yes, I saw the signs, but I always told myself she should change.

advanceDNA:
Which kind yeye sex are u having 3 times a week... U no dey go work..?? U no dey hustle??

No kee the woman abeg??

Guess, you just read the title, jumped to respond. I live comfortably and take good care of her. Dont want to brag here. But everything is by Gods grace. Read the post and make constructive comments.

Evilstorm:
I suggest you discipline your sexual urge to the minimum. Don't pressure her consigning sex and be mysterious with where u go and the things u do.
Secondly, take good care of ur personal hygiene and focuss on building a more attractive version of ur self.
Buy new clothes and put expensive colognes.
Ignore most of her existence and also flirt with young ladies around.

The reason why women loose attraction of their husbands sometimes is because of the above mentioned.
You became less attractive, less mysterious, unhygienic, and u make her position look too secure.

Brother, I have a personal GYM in my house. I am well built. I A full bearded man. I don't want to describe myself much. But by Gods grace, I look really great.

Brandiebird:
Another SIMPle chronicle 🥱

Bro I am not a SIMP. I just try to respect the boundaries of marriage and my family. But I am being pushed. i JUST HAVE TO CRY OUT. I have reported issues so much to my pastor, her parents - no one wants to listen to us again.

Lanmonfishery:
Na reverse psychology u go use for am....she go bow

Can you please explain what you mean? What do I do?

Rainbow10:
OP
Did you marry your wife as a virgin?
Give me an answer
Got a remedy for you..............

She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

brain54:
I suspect your wife is going through some sort of childhood trauma…


Maybe rape.


Counseling might help.

Since she gave you the okay to have sex outside… maybe you should take it up.

Something in your wife’s childhood/growing up really messed her up.

But you should have noticed before marriage too.

You dated 2 years before marriage.

Follow her timetable patiently or cheat!

2 days ago, it was the day set for the 1 round we were supposed to make love, she just said, something is on her face. I wish I can describe it. I was like, why Is it that anytime its when we want to make out is when you must have en excuse, she just shouted at me, that I should go that i dont care. I was like, this was the same person who was jumping and telling me she wants to fix a nose ring. Very healthy and bouncing all over the place, but when it comes to my usual 1 round on the old timetable. She would look for an excuse. Her mother shouted at me that if I want to divorce her, I should go ahead that she's tired of settling our differences.

Bradford111:
You guys are married for 5 years and you have been patient with her for 7 years again.


I don’t understand that part explain

Nlfpmode

It has been edited. Sorry about that. I was trying to twist the years so her family or she doesn't get to understand this post is about them

Move to frontpage. I need constructive responses on what to do.

talented321:
Hahahahaha.........

Why are you laughing. This is not funny. I need help. What do I do?

I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

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Scam no dey taya una?

Goldmint is not a scam.
You just have the notion, mindset, belief, system that every money-making online platform is a scam. They're a crypto-based platform and affiliate marketing platform.
The problem with people like you, you don't seem to check out what a platform is. You just sit behind your palasa android phone keypad to start typing whatever gibberish comes to your mind all in the name everything must be a scam because it's naija. Baba take your frustration elsewhere. They are genuine and paying. DO YOUR HOMEWORK before typing gibberish.

Thank you for your response. I greatly appreciate it. Have you been using this FCMB Card since the ban without issues? Seems I have to open an account with them now.

dayoscape:
Use fcmb
Either physical or virtual...for now it's safe

But if you use the likes of Zenith and Access your account will most definitely get blocked one day...

Guys, I would like to buy crypto with my Nigerian ATM Card. But I am a bit scared so i do not get my bank account banned/blocked/restricted by using the CARD to purchase CRYPTOCURRENCY on Coinbase.

So I would like to know which of the ATM CARDS in any Nigerian Banks, preferably naira cards or let me say dollar cards that work perfectly well for buying cryptocurrency with COINBASE without getting banned or getting any issue with being blocked/restricted. I await your contribution on this thread.

He wont do anything. HE WOULD ALSO NOT MAKE REFUNDS. Beware of Ojediran Ayodele Emmanuel or Content Academy Nigeria @contentacademyng

He would not run your ads, he would waste your time, telling you stories like he's working and fixing your ads.

This post was made to inform others of his escapades and beware of him.

This has been a trend of Ads popping up on TL of So-called gurus claiming to help you advertise, run ads with their Facebook ads account.

So we contacted Ojediran Ayodele Emmanuel - Content Academy Nigeria
Instagram handle: @contentacademyng
https://www.instagram.com/contentacademyng/
EMAIL: theadvertmasters@gmail.com
This is the BANK Account we paid to
0359998066 Ojediran Ayodele Emmanuel GTB
PHONE NUMBER: +2349038127652

Upon receipts of payments, he responded a bit that he was trying to set up the ads by converting images to videos, of which at a later point, he didnt run the ads again, stopped picking our calls and that was it.

This post was made to inform others of his escapades and beware of him. He would not run your ads, he would waste your time, telling you stories like he's working and fixing your ads. He wont do anything. HE WOULD ALSO NOT MAKE REFUNDS. Beware of Ojediran Ayodele Emmanuel or Content Academy Nigeria @contentacademyng

I was almost paying the guy. I decided to run his phone 07080546396 on nairaland only for me to see that he's a serial scammer. I have forwarded this link to him.

0037285998 GTB Adeoluwa