comibadan:
Bro, you have to take heart, i face the same issues with you but my own didn't include sex, my own include fight, no good conversation, no respect, you can't discuss something that will make family progress, she will said No, and she is an Edo woman. Bro, I am tired too and there is children

dkidd:

The thing tire me for the idiot op. Even sisters in-law dey insult u for ur inner marriage matter. He's worse than a simp. He's a worm. I didn't even finish reading the bullshit. He commands zero respect and they're all taking the fool for granted as a goat head that he is

addmole:


Why are you laughing. This is not funny. I need help. What do I do?

addmole:


She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

addmole:


She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

addmole:


Why are you laughing. This is not funny. I need help. What do I do?

devil007:
Brother is the same thing am suffering, the best option is separation, before they make us mad, sorry brother, we were thinking we found love

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

Ex0rrcist:

I just wanna ask how many times you do it in a month, and is it just missionary with no intimacy at all? Do you guys get intimate without having intercourse. I just need your opinion cos I'm dating a girl who doesn't like sex that much but loves me like no tomorrow, and I really wanna learn from you how to manage it when we get married, thanks.

addmole:


She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

talented321:
That worm part off me'' i swear....

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

ehissi:


First of all, I didn't see anything said about children from my speed reading, anyway, choose a day in the week and sit her down and make it clear to her just as you have itemized it here, the problems with your relationship with her.

Let it start from the sex angle, 35 is too early in a woman's life to be dodging sex duty or having low sex drive, some women are called cougars for a reason, it could be trauma related or hormonal, whatever the case maybe, she needs to seek help from a license professional not a pastor on this issue because hatred of sex at 35years old is a problem, get it clear she has a problem not you. You have 50year old women putting their husband waist under pressure then 35year old woman dey squeeze face,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If she tries to make light of it or insult you, make it clear that you would rather get a new wife who is serious on working on herself and her relationship with her husband and marriage than fornicate. Sex is her sacred duty recognized by law and all religious faith/institutions under the covenant of marriage, its the one thing no woman can do for her so if she is playing with it then she is a very unserious and irresponsible wife...........and for the record, denial of sex is a strong ground for seeking/getting a divorce both in court and traditional setting.


And no, you are not a goat, you are a full blown man with a healthy sexual appetite, she should be grateful that you dont have a problem in that department and not use her family to manipulate/disrespect you into not asking for sex when the hunger for it has come upon you..................

Then you will need to seek out a licensed phycologist/psychiatrist and the 2 of you should go there and seek counselling and work it out. Take note, it is not a family problem and it is something that should be worked out between the 2 of you, but refusing to work it out is a serious marital problem and by extension it is a family problem..............

This hatred of sex sometimes is a matter of low sex drive and maybe hormonal, so she will also need to go for test and check her progesterone levels and if possible engage hormonal therapy.

Start from there first and thank me later............

Ask any doctor if they can refer you to physchologist/pyschiatrist..............

Make it crystal clear that she needs to change otherwise she will need a new husband and you will be needing a new wife, you cannot cope with a frigid wife, she needs counselling from a trained professional not a pastor.

She should see a Doctor and have her hormones checked, she is probably low on progesterone.

And for the record marriage and relationships in marriage takes 2 to work, dont accept this "you are a man bullshit". She must just be willing and ready to work on your marriage as you are just as willing to understand.

If she refuses to accept to seek professional help, then start the process of disengaging and seeking a new mate/wife and give her distance. If her family call you, it will be on record that you sought professional help for her mentally and physically and she has refused, timetable for sex is denial of sex and that is a marital war crime. Even in court that wont fly........................

Its left to you, to be pitying someone all in the name of being nice who will insult you and disrespect you without a moments hesitation..................why stay in a marriage with a woman who doesnt even want you or is even attracted to you sexually in anyway? Get help then invite her follow you to get checked, she refuses then stop listening to her, stop eating from her and start the process of disengaging legally from that marriage......

This is my take, no emotions no sentiments...................

addmole:


Bro I am not a SIMP. I just try to respect the boundaries of marriage and my family. But I am being pushed. i JUST HAVE TO CRY OUT. I have reported issues so much to my pastor, her parents - no one wants to listen to us again.

incogni2o:


Good, I have seen what I am looking for.

Looks like you are a Christian gentleman

Have you ever tried reporting her to God in Prayer before. Trust me, you would see the effect within few hours if you pray with a sinless and sincere Heart. You should take charge of the spiritual Authority you have over Her which God respects.

My Wife is also like this but she has rather improved rather than regressed.

We have also agreed to a 3 to 4 times a week timetable, and not one round. There is nothing wrong with that. It helps both of you prepare your mind towards the enjoyable moment.

In as much as you have to be gentle in letting her know all this things. There is also a Manly side to handling things, you can always firmly maintain your stand in decisions and not let Her challenge you all the time while unconspicously taking her concerns into consideration when making your decisions.

Secondly, you should reorganize or relief her schedules so that she is not tired when it's time for sex. She'll think you don't care when you ask for sex especially when she is fagged out.

Let Her know that normal discussions should not be brought up when it's time for sex. I don't like it either.

All this above have helped my wife and I.

The Truth is that God supports your being a Man in that relationship.

Evestar200:
Maybe You are not her dream man

That Woman Married you because of Marriage pressure not because she loves you.

There is no way a woman who loves, Cares and has feelings will not like to do anything with you no matter how angry she is.