micxwell:
I've been on this write-up right from the first page. I'm guessing it's all for cruise but really, the vitriolic attack we lunch at people with differing ideas and opinions to ours in Nigeria needs to be studied o .

I see abusive words being thrown at her here and there. She's a human being too and I believe there must have being a lot of factors that shaped her personality (that's if the OP is true).

So many people couldn't answer the question she asked based on the information provided on this thread only, but started judging her based on her previous interactions on this forum.

We all can't have the same ideas 'cause of our different upbringing.

Make una just leave her alone if you can't comment without abusing her.

N.B: If I was in the guy's shoes, I will not agree with her suggestion but still that is what she wants and someone else may choose to go through with it.

Lindajames1010:
Haven't you wondered y relationship isn't working for you all this while?

Don't even bother yourself looking for someone that will agree to your terms because u won't find any, not that men who want just a child isn't available they're but the way ure saying it to them is a turn off to anybody who have such motive initially

With this your mind set you might not be able to find husband sooner or later

U're hardworking and interligent woman no doubt but ur kind of selfishness is out of this world

U want totally control and u want everything to be don according to how u want it and it's very bad of u ...... please u will have to change so u can marry even though u people are busy saying marriage isn't everything still u need to marry so u won't be bitter at your old age.

Kobojunkie:
Is he not an adult and a part of the relationship. Why grudgingly agree to such a thing?

Dyt:
78 New COVID-19 Cases, 142 Discharged And 2 Deaths On October 10


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=232038382294470&id=100064649291568

ChineduChinedu:
Please help, I need advice, I am very confused man, I don't know what to do in this situation

There is this girl I met in Lagos she help me find a house in Lagos from there we started dating.

I Asked her to marry me and get pregnant for me. Later she got pregnant for me.
She started disturbing me about marriage rights.

On the wedding day I discovered that she has 3 children for one man.
I have asked her several times even before she got pregnant she keep saying no

A day before the wedding, one of my uncle called me and tell me that one babalawo said that the woman I want to marry has 3 kids already.

All that day I wasn't myself I woke her up at midnight and forced the truth out of her
She admitted and start begging me to forgive her, she said she has been looking for the best time to tell me. All this are happening on our wedding day, she beg me not to tell anyone that it can be secrets between me and her àlone, I insisted that I must tell my people from my state enugu to Lagos

My people discouraged me and said I should thank God for revealing this early.
That's how I cancelled the church wedding.

Court marriage 30th September
Church wedding 2nd October
But Before that wedding day, we did court marriage, I told her that I don't want to do court marriage because if she cheat on me I will divorce her and loose my half of my money she got angry, the first day we didn't talk, 2nd day same, Then 3rd day she start packing her loads, I beg her to stay that we have few days to church wedding she insisted that If I don't do the court that I should cancel the church wedding that she can't trust me without court marriage

We did the court marriage, without my parents consent cuz it didn't come from my heart, her junior brother is the one that sighn for me in the court

I don't know what to do in this situation oo

Her first son is 13 years
2nd son 8 years
3rd girl 6 years
And now she is pregnant for me aa

Am 30 years while I don't know her real age

We have lived together for 8 months before I could discover this
And during this period we have been together
She controls me alots and that make me sad
She shout at me too
If ask me to do something for her and I refuse it becomes problem

Please what do I do ?

RightToReject:


No matter how you might try hard to gloss over the fact that you're not happy with your position in the union, and by extension, do not have the kind of liberty and peace of mind you desire, the fact remains glaring to me. Unfortunately, your condition will get worse if you embrace the idea of infantilizing her petty attitudes and trivializing her cruel words and acts like most have suggested to you - treat her as a grown-up woman and always expect her to act as one. The more you enable these vices, the more they fester, thereby draining and ruining you. Take your mental, psychological, and emotional health seriously for your good; stop jeopardizing them. So far, you have been using servility to sustain your relationship with her. I do not envy you. Servility is as bad as cruelty; neither condone them nor expect and accept them from others.

Love your wife, but don't pander to her whims and caprices. Pandering to her whims and caprices is not love/maturity/civility. Enact an ethical philosophy that will be binding to everyone; let it be both a standard and a bond that will hold the two of you. So far, you have neither been in the driving seat of your home nor your dominion. You've been subjugated. To take your rightful position in the union, squash your subsisting emotional connection with her which was based on the lust you have for her from the inception of your contact with her, and which is the reason why she has been meting out abuses, not just having authority over you. You've been a slave to your lust all this while. Let any new emotional connection you will have with her stem from the quality of her soul (submission/fairness) rather than her physical beauty/material possessions. That is the difference between loving your wife and falling in love with your wife. This will entail you giving up lust/greed and saying good-bye to feeble-mindedness. You can get this done fast if you have some knowledge about mental/psychological transmutation.

So, you must be scrupulous and gumptious; else, you cannot make an effective change or lead fairly. When you succeed, it will be a win-win situation for you, her, the children, and the family at large, with everyone in a healthy state of mental, emotional, and psychological health. If she truly hates you, however, or has never had an altruistic interest in you or has always had ruinous intent towards you, she'll resist every attempt you will make to institutionalize fairness for all as the order of the day and would rather wish to opt out of the union. So, if you will be afraid to lose her in principle, then remain subjugable to her. If she rejects love/fairness, and if you don't want her to wittingly or unwittingly opt-out of the union, give her an overdose of her medicine so that she will become a slave to you instead.

One of the highest and most fulfilling points of living is reaching the height of not minding losing anyone/anything in principle and staying conscientious.

peremary:
Congratulations Sadio Mane �

He has scored his 100th Liverpool goal! �

hansomb:
Your parents are still your parent no matter what. Probably if u have not gone what you experienced you will not b where you are today. The only time you can go against your parents is if they try to stop you from worshipping God. Everything happens for a reason in this life. Your parents are still your parent. Let's go of the Hate and grudges. At least your parents never aborted you or throw you into gutter as most boyfriend n girlfriend or some couples do this day. For that alone be grateful to them and God.

Olatoman:
I read a bit of replies to this, and what I think I should point out briefly is this, they are not your Parents. Parents are essentially caregivers of their offsprings. This are simply your biological father, and mother. You were treated like the bad product of a bad union, with no one wanting a reminder of that union, and in their hindsight, failed to account for the future.

I think you should offer forgiveness, if you want to, as theirs healing from that, but offer naught companionship to them, aye?

They also have offsprings from their respective unions, so why must they single-handed focus on you, wanting you to provide for them, not caring how you fairing and eve knowing the means to do so?

You can at your discretion, send whatever you want to them once in a while, but I do not think it will be healthy for you (mentally and all), to succumb to their pressure, as that pressure will not just be upon you, but on the family you are likely to raise later in the future.

For your step siblings, I think you need to make them acknowledge who you are first of all, and maybe understand the gravity of what your parents did, but also, might be necessary to have a form of relationship with them, cordial enough to start with.

This is not a period of demands upon you, but a period of sobriety and acknowledgment of wrong doing to you.

oshorstan:



will staying away help him heal?

it is the holy Spirit that heals. how will u feel knowing your family is dying because of inability to feed? How will you feel knowing that your father died because of hunger and malaria? Your conscience will haunt you forever. That can make u become depressed forever. Forgive them as Jesus has forgiven you. God has a reason why u made it. Remember Joseph and his Brothers. that's a good story to learn from. God bless you

DemonInvoker:
OP Have a Forgiving Spirit and Forgive your moda fvcking Family Members and only use your head while dealing with them.
E get why...Who Rise now fit fall tomorrow and who dey ground now fit still Rise..No man is an Island ooo.

okeyfermod:
I went practically through same, i was 8 though.

What i did, i relate with both, but i always tell stories whenever they ask for money

dorin27:
It is well. It is never good to pay evil with evil. You can keep your distance and the same time help in the little way you can. You cannot change the fact that THEY ARE STILL YOUR PARENTS.

SecretSpy666:

The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

saaphiere:
Taken to where? I can never fall into you all trap again. I realized all you men want from a lady is sex and nothing more. Giving ladies fake marriage promise. Once they get in between your legs they voom.

saaphiere:
He wants to link up because of beauty. That means when beauty fades he's run. I'm not ready for that. Well, I appreciate the compliment.

Hdayo1:

Lack of info is what is clearly your issue. I live in Dubai so I have first info about the country. I earn AED5,000 (N500,000) at my current job as jewellery store attendant while I have a friend who earns N8,500 (N850,000) as primary sch teacher and some even earn more per month. The only issue I have with that country is that u don’t get permanent residence or citizenship. Aside from that, u don’t compare a teller in dubai to a bank manager in Nigeria so u are not wrong for calling them Dubai VIPs.

Houseofglam7:
Inasmuch as I totally am against rape,girls,learn to dress decently to church....stop provoking these men in church and they'll leave your privates alone!

Lovexme:
That is a list of those that failed, only!

It is clearly stated "Failed List".