₦airaland Forum

well funny enuf most of dem could afford money for data plan buy can't work out a single strategy to make money.....well only God knows where ur help might cum from buh 4me its totally an unacceptable behaviour begging money online...

YORUBA MOTHERS!!!
Yorùbá mothers are the best when it comes to child upbringing.
Yorùbá mothers produce the best range of slaps:
IGBATI,
IFOTI,
IGBAJU,
IGBARUN,
IFORUN,
IFAKUN,
ILADI,
ABARA.
These slaps will make you think you were adopted.
IGBATI will make you correct your wrongs instantly!
The beauty of IFOTI is that you will confess your
sins on the spot.
IGBARUN, IGBAJU and IFORUN will make you
expose those who committed the crime with you
without hesitation.
ABARA and ILADI will make you pee in your new
pants.
Now ABARA is the worst.
Apart from all these, we have an advanced one
which is called IGBAJU OLOYI.
When you receive that one, you'll lose balance and
your head will go into "auto-search" as you'll be
looking for what hit you.
This will make you do all the actions of the other
slaps aforementioned at once!
OH! IGBAJU OLOYI! It can reset someone to 3D
(DEAF, DUMB, and DAFT). She will say let's go
home and you will say it's in my pocket ma.
God bless our parents for the good upbringing.
If you were brought up in Yoruba land, regardless of
how caring your mother was, you'd have
encountered one of these slaps.
feel free to add urs

watch what you say it might be used against u in d court of law....no b me talk am na naija policeman style...well what's ur take on dis new buhari customized ear....

oya let d comment roll in

God bless Pmb

God bless naija

learnt how to dispence drugs A.k.a chemist after my secondary school,learnt barbing during ma N.D days now currently working in a Lab...still going to learn CCTV installation while going back 4my Hnd ...Neva can tell where grace and opportunity may land u...Op tanxs 4d topic God bless

1. If your woman catches you looking at another woman, turn to her and say "sweetheart, I’m glad you don’t dress like that.”
2. Nigerian parents are confused. They'll beat their kids with the intent of making them cry and then start beating them again to stop them from crying.
3. Guys, When A Girl Say You Are The BEST MAN In Her Life, Don't Be Surprised To See Yourself Standing Beside Her Husband On Her Wedding Day.
4. The downfall of A Man is when he Moves From BBM to 2go.
5. Guys always complaining about girls that are looking for Richmen, you sef hustle and be a rich man let girls find you too.
6. Very soon mtn will be Like Do you know there are people in your village that don't want you to succeed? Quickly text "thunder fire them"to 33505.
7. if your boyfriend is like 10 years older than u, just stop calling him baby. and start calling him: Uncle Bae, Brother Boo, Sir Baby
8. Those that use spoon to eat Eba are our major problem in this country.
9. It is only in Nigeria that you'll see a notice board say "man wanted with 40 Years experience, must be aged 25
10. Being a good person is like being a goal keeper,no matter how many goals u Save...People will only remember the ones You missed.
11. India has never been to the World Cup because FIFA won'tallow them sing and dance for 20 minutes after every goal.
12. Girls please Your boyfriend should not be your source of income everyday. Cos it's only a relationship, not a job opportunity.
13. someone will just die with an Afro in Nigeria movie and his spirit will come back with a low cut. So Barbing saloon dey that side?
14. Strangling your wife for making indomie as dinner is not domestic violence, it is self- defense
15. How Can You Chase a GIRL for 4 Years. Is she your University Degree?
16, it is only in nigeria u will c someone lafin while reading a post like dis n yet, refuse to comment.....dats selfishness..... Which number did you love? Common feel free 2Add urs #team jesus

am not sure some Nigerians are OK..see what a girl posted on Twitter,na must say u must make a post on everything very hilarious

#God bless Nigeria
#God bless Pmb

The annual fasting month of Ramadan is due to begin Monday in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates and Yemen, religious authorities in the four Muslim countries said. The announcement was made on Sunday after the sighting of the crescent moon. Other Muslim countries in the Middle East and North Africa are also expected to begin observing Ramadan on Monday or on Tuesday. During Ramadan, Muslims around the world abstain from eating, drinking, smoking and having sex from dawn to dusk. The break the fast with a meal known as iftar and before dawn they have a second opportunity to eat and drink during suhur. Ramadan is sacred to Muslims because tradition says the Koran was revealed to the Prophet Mohammed during that month. Ramadan is followed by the Eid al-Fitr festival.
source:www.nigerianeye.com/2016/06/muslim-holy-month-of-ramadan-starts.html?m=1

#source mrkoachman.com/how-to-grow-and-care-for-your-beard

HOW TO CARE FOR
YOUR BEARD
1. Just like your hair, wash and
shampoo your beard regularly
with warm water.
A lot of guys do not wash their
beards, the few that do use bar soap
thereby drying out the beard and the
skin beneath. Use moisturizing
shampoo instead, your beard hair is
different from the hair on top of
your head, therefore a mild shampoo
is easier on your skin under your
beards.

2. Gently pat and wipe your
beard dry with a towel after
washing.

3. Use a conditioner to add a
little shine to your beards.
To keep your beard from getting too
wiry, you should use Beard Oil to
help condition the hair and the skin
underneath. It will help your beard
look and feel its best and also helps
with any itching problem you might
have on your beards. I personally
use L’Avyanna Men Premium Beard Oil
for my rich, full and soft beards as
you can see above in the featured
image.

4. Invest in Beard Accessories
Such as the wide-toothed comb,
short comb, beard brush, beard
trimming scissors and electric
trimmer. Comb your beard with a
wide-toothed/short comb to remove
tangles depending on how full your
beard is. Brush your mustache with a
beard brush.

5. Trim your beards every
month if you have decided to
keep your beards short
Trim every two months if you have
intention of growing long beard.
Trimming gets rid of split ends in
your hair. Use scissors or trimmer to
keep the excess hair off your cheek
and neck respectively.

6. Eat with Care To Avoid Food
Particles Storing Up in Your
Beards
It’s common to see a bearded man
eating ice cream and the cream is
dropping on his beards and he isn’t
aware because he can’t feel the drop
on his beards. This is not nice at
all. So please, always keep food
particles out of your beard by taking
small bites and wiping your face
after each bite. Always have
serviette handy while out in a
restaurant.

FINAL THOUGHTS

In addition to the beard-grooming
advice I’ve given you so far, please
ensure you have enough sleep as
losing sleep has been found to slow
down beard growth.
So now I believe you’ve been
equipped with all the necessary
knowledge to go out and start your
beard journey. Go forth now and
start the journey of #NoShaveEver.
Let the Game of Men Begin!!!

4. Never Give Up, Even When You Mess Up Your Beard Hairline Growing a beard is never easy especially in the early stage, it could take 3-6 months to actually look full, even at that without proper grooming it could still look patchy and untidy. My advice is to keep growing and never give up. Even when your barber accidentally shapes or trims the neckline more than what he was meant to, don’t panic and don’t shave all off, instead forgive him this once (but fire him if he repeats the blunder next time) then go home and wait for 3-5 days for it to grow back, then come back and have another professional barber or a more experienced beard stylist define a new neckline under the old one. After some time the new growth will start filling in, then you can continue to gradually trim till it evens out.

3. Let it grow, then Shape It to the Style That Fits Your Face One common mistake a lot of men make is to attempt shaping or trimming their beards the 1st or 2nd week after they start growing it. This is wrong and you could easily cut off more than you really wanted which could take weeks or months to fix. Wait for about 1-2 months before you shape it. Now another mistake guys make is to cut it right under their jawline or chin. The best place to shape from is the “neck line” – somewhere in between the Adam’s apple and under your chin. I will also strongly advice you don’t do this yourself, but rather visit a professional barber who is very experienced in beard styling. Now if you are bald, shave off your hair on the head and grow a beard!

2. Endure and Power through the itch, the world will respect you. A lot of my friends have abandoned their splendid beards because of this temporary “trying period” which is common to all men who had ever embarked on a full-bearded journey. The first few weeks of growing beards comes packaged with some itchiness and this is the point where the faint-hearted give up. It’s normal and like they say “ tough times never last, tough men do”. If only you can hold on tight for about 2 to 3 weeks and power through the itch, the greatest pleasures in the world await your chin. Simply put…Growing beards is manly and requires endurance and will power. On the other hand, if you have a full- grown beard, but you still itch, then this means you have dry skin down there, solution would be to invest in moisturizer and use on face daily to soften your beard and soothe face irritation [more about this later].

HOW TO GROW YOUR BEARD 1. First of All, Be Patient For you to truly grow an epic beard, you have to be very patient. Resist the urge to shave, trim or style for at least 1-2 months so as to allow your hair grow evenly. Tough times would come, you will encounter temptations to shave off, some people will call you all sort of names, loved ones will be saying “Shave it Off”, but Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of your beards. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward, for in the same way, they persecuted the bearded gentlemen of the Beard Gang who were before you. Very soon, they will come to love, respect and show their appreciation of your luxurious beard.

TheSpecial0ne:
I use this tin chop money back then in schl lol. ChaCha tins

lol....u made me remember d gud old days....urchman d game changer where are thou...still luv did game anytime, anywhere,anyday

huntila:
Ogun state My state is in Debt

lol wat of osun state??

huntila:
Ogun state My state is in Debt

lol way of osun state??

Federal allocation for the month of April. Here is the official figures released by the Federal Government. Federal Allocation To Each State In April:
1. Akwa Ibom - N8,945,542,072.36
2. Delta - N6,520,473,654.16
3. Lagos - N5,806,821,749.32
4. Rivers - N4,887,442,606.31
5. Kano - N3,613,387,002.51
6. Kastina - N 2,845,760,627.20
7. Kaduna - N2,803,408,785.61
8. Borno - N2,665,210,123.06
9. Jigawa - N2,563,114,698.48
10. Sokoto - N 2,327,122,322.29
11. Anambra - N2,313,676,693.37
12. Kogi - N2,294,573,542.45
13. Bauchi - N2,257,201,944.88
14. Oyo - N 2,209,928,509.99
15. Enugu - N2,207,795,207.12
16. Yobe - N2,202,678,657.54 3
17. Kebbi - N2,195,741,092.43
18. Bayelsa - N2,165,038,996.96
19. Adamawa - N2,032,039,683.90
20. Ondo - N2,063,521,671.24
21. Niger - N2,062,793,026.06
22. Edo - N1,997,007,555.15
23. Nasarawa - N1,993,193,531.74
24. Ebonyi - N1,993,102,693.24
25. Abia - N1,938,447,217.53
26. Taraba - N1,898,258,023.17
27. Benue - N1,801,576,491.60
28. Kwara - N1,743,743,559.80
29. Imo - N1,630,698,013.12
30. Zamfara - N1,471,857,771.21
31. Gombe - N1,458,257,406.16
32. Plateau - N1,111,836,234.76
33. Ekiti - N1,084,469,706.86
34. Ogun - N999,696,533.32
35. Cross River - N967,494,955.43
36. Osun - N131,555,194.65
. # SOURCE : National Bureau of Statistics N.B. The Figures are after all # deductions Credit: Morakinyo Rafiu Adeniyi

Don't know some animal in human skin still dey Naija.... Imagine wishing 2-yr old boy who has been brutalized by his step mother dead just because he is from the north. This tribalism has really finish Naija patriotism.

my brother if na me I go leave d gas for am luk for a better house...pack ma tons out den enter oshodi,ajegunle hire sum boys make dem help me teach d landlord lesson#near death experience lol anytime d man remember tears go fall of him eyes well gud thing u do dialogue is the best...use the LG as suggested and maybe something gud will cum out #buh no fight pls cos he will still step on ur nerve more than these..thank u and God bless

I kno how she feels I too work in a private laboratory dere my female boss trusted me that sometimes she do give me her ATM 2go pay for things with POS sometimes I make transaction for her...its normal d Guy betrayed her trust left with all her money...one thing I kno 4sure what goes around cums around....#wolves in sheep clothing's beware

just wondering y shez still single...make person help me tell Linda oilwell go soon dry make she act fast

ave heard people said wen u are called for interview u research about the company like,d history of the company, d various department guess Di's man did same cos he z dressing to impress lol#i must get Di's job by all means#Gtb here I cum...

DAT number 4 got me laffing

iamdynamite:
just one word.......iku

lol...

she has been in wilderness 4d past 1year and u expect her face 2remain dsame Bleep haterz gud job naija army#God bless buhari,God bless Nigeria

I whatsapp My wife., and asked her, "Honey, if you see me on the street with another woman, what will you do?" My wife smiled and answered, "I will close one eye and open one eye." I said, "wow honey, I never knew you are so supportive". Later My wife sent this picture to Me... Wetin you think say she mean...

you were having sex out of curiosity... :ou were having sex out of curiosity...maybe she did same too common brace up no need 2dump her remember u self no be saint....Jesus said let he who without sin be the first to cast a stone..God bless

omenka:
Engrish made in iPod Utopia!!

lol...very funny copy and paste caught me

The man who trekk to celebrate Buhari victory
hashimu suleiman have exprss his feeling, by
saying his greatest mistake was to trekk for
buhari. he express his dissatisfaction with the
way buhari have been ruling Nigeria in the last
one year ....“Removing fuel subsidy at the hard time is not
palatable to hearing when so many workers and
laborers can hardly put food on their table,
many company have fold up, and cost of living
is very high, Nigerian has been hoping for a
positive change for a very long time, enduring
hardship and now the federal government want
to make thing worse for the masses hashimu
suleiman said”
source http://beauld.com/things-fall-apart-i-regret-trekking-for-buhari-suleman-hashimu/

have been reading post on nairaland especially by hard mirror... about d non existence of God.....hmmn a simple illustration... in a factory humans efficacy were replace by robots and machine buh as time goes on more features were added like ability of d robot to think for themselves after sum few years mr robot thinking he is independent and can work on his own neglected his creators manual and started a campaign against their manufacture a.k.a their creator...their creator being merciful instead of destroying them watch them allowing them to continue even added other feature to them unknowingly but when d time comes for the creator to destroy them it was too late to realise that freewill doesn't necessary guarantee freedom....

morals: because u feel there is no God doesnt necessarily means there is no God....but try and understand That that was the ending of your thinking capacity so thats where u draw your conclusion God is alive,God is real may God bless u all

gbens2000:
GOD pls keep me alive till that time ,but wat amazes me about china is that they are mostly idol worshipers but still have longevity and always best at wat they do

am not surprised d bible said Romans 11:29 King James Version (KJV)
For the gifts and calling of God are without
repentance....and it futher says....The wages of sin is death...so earthly enjoyment heavenly condemnation God bless

for those asking how she would cater 4dem well I would say mathew 6:26 answers ur questions it says "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or
reap or store away in barns, and yet your
heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much
more valuable than they? den ma God who deliver her safely will provide congrats maa...God bless dem