Sitting on a tree
tuning her favorite song
woolen made nest house

#Folorunsho_Iyanuoluwa

joseph1832:
obviously from what you've just said, the people who told you it's a Haiku know little or nothing of what a haiku poem is.

Before I tell you why it's not a haiku, can you please show me the 5,7,5 syllable structure in your supposed haiku?

Thank you.

thank u sir
you said kevin who lectures people on poetry knows little or nothing about haiku. . . I concur, it may be true.
but u got all wrong when u called a 'mora' syllable

joseph1832:
how is this a haiku?

i posted this same poem in allpoetry some minutes before i did here without the inscription 'HAIKU' Kevin himself and 5 others made a comment using the word haiku. . .
same applicable when i posted it in FFP forums, Davidf and 2 others used the word haiku to compliment the poem.

so to your question. . .
its an haiku because it follows the mora of 5-7-5 phrases.
howbeit, nt all haikus follows the 5,7,5 procedure, nt all. . . So can u tell me why its nt an haiku please?

Winter whelming breeze
postboxes covered in white
flowing rivers freezed

#folorunsho_Iyanuoluwa

"but, the sun switched duty with the moon"
my fav. Line; tis well personified. . . Am at u bro, keep it coming

Imagine coming up with Espanol at the last line to spice up the pieces, only my memo knows how much inspiration this poem birth in me.

good work

the rhetoric aspect of the question aimed the pieces to the blues of paris tower. . .
keep it up

Kiddogarcia:
"Only the dustbin knows how much she loves him" that line is deep

Thanks boss

“Where’s your boyfriend?”
“It’s a long-distance relationship,” she replied.
He smiled down from heaven
a celestial witness.
Amid fragrant pens and pink papers
four years had passed
their love etched in secret.
Only the dustbin knew the depth of her devotion.
“What if he isn’t waiting on the other side?”
She lacked the strength to bear
because his heart was too heavy to carry..

✍️IYANUOLUWA MIKE FOLORUNSHO

this is a very nice piece. .. "when tears drop from my eyes..." good imagery
but you should have shown instead of saying

welcome to class!

LESSON 1
THE FIVE SENSES


first of all I would like to clarify what poetry is and isn't. Writing poetry is best described as a composition that uses literary techniques and is not prose. Writing Prose is best described as writing that uses ordinary speech or language, such as a story or letter. However, there is such a thing as prose poetry that does use poetic devices, but it is still written in journal, letter or paragraph or story form. Poetry is written with a certain poetic structure of line breaks and stanzas. We will get more into the structure of poetry later in the course. Now that we have that cleared up, let's forge ahead.

1. Before writing a poem you should have an idea of what you are going to write about. Capture your muse on paper before starting, and build around that as a central point. You should know if you want to give imagery to provoke the senses, the emotions, or both before all other things. Once you have that decided, every word becomes a brick in the wall until you have built a solid poem. The concrete use of the senses makes a poem come to life.

2. What do you want readers to feel?
Do you want to put them at ease, make them irritable, make them cry, confuse them, make them laugh, make them think, excite them, put them in a dreamy mood etc...? Figurative language controls not only emotions, but the five senses. Well placed figures of speech are the very essence of poetry! For example, the use of simile is a good way to bring in the senses without having to use them directly if the senses are not being used directly. An example of this is, 'the anger within her churned like a thunder storm rolling in." This is using the sense of sound, as well as imagery, to give a metaphor to how someone feels. It is giving a concrete use of a sense as a comparison to something more abstract.


3. Which senses will you need to focus on?
To get the emotional response you want, will you appeal to any or all of the reader's 5 senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, or touch?

The five senses:
sight
touch
sound
taste
smell

We are going to use two of the senses for the assignment below: touch and sound.
Examples:
Touch -- She runs her fingers through the dog's coat,
as static electricity tingles her hand.

Sound -- Music floats from the meadow;
soft flute notes, carried by breezes ...

Notice that writing in the present tense makes the scene more real and vivid to the reader. Try to use tangible and concrete examples either through the use of the senses directly or through simile, which is comparing something to another thing.
In writing your poem, please be sure to show not tell, through the use of the senses. For example, you could write about how a rose smells, but never use the word 'rose', or, how something sounds without saying exactly what it is. You are showing the reader what something is through your describing of it through the senses in this lesson.

Goodluck!


ASSIGNMENT 1

write a new poem of 6 - 10 lines in any style using both touch and sound in a concrete way somewhere in the poem. Even though you will be focusing on touch and sound, don't forget to use some imagery to set the stage. Don't worry if you go a little over the line limit.
Please state after your poem what you have used for sound, touch and imagery. Remember to show, not tell what you are writing about and try to write in the present tense. Try not to use the words 'touch' or 'sound' directly in your write, but instead describe these senses.

SUBMIT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS HERE
OR ON THE MAIL GIVEN ABOVE

THANKS FOR COMING

this is to help we poem beginners. ..
i think we all can gain from this
...
if there is questions, suggestions or enquiries

aiyamrex@gmail.com

is available for mail
.
.
.
good luck!

Check out these poems at

www.aiyamrex..com

leave a comment. . .
love y'all

Someday
you will cry for me
like my tears broke loose for you.

Someday
you will miss me
like my existence longed for you

Someday
you will need me
even my presence now is unwanted

Someday
you will love me again
but i will be long gone
farther across tomorrow

Someday
you will call me
but the black bats will join the air
for chasing them from my grave

#Folorunsho Iyanuoluwa

Yes sir, i dnt think i get the haiku concept clear, can you make a constructive example using that poem sir. . .
i really need to improve that is why we need someone like you to come review our junks and give it a good look

Well sir, according to the haiku. . . Syllables is different from the calculation of 7-5-7 moras. . .
in my lessons. . . Moras ain't syllables and at least if you can help in any way. . . Let me in please

Aiyamrex:

Misterious Purpose of life is
to cause misery to those
who have it when you have it
and even more misery to those
who have it when you lose it

I Think life is just here to play with our mind by unfoldings misteries on how to make it in life

and even adding to the mistery when you are dead.
the living wonders what happens to you when you die (part of the mistery).

the poem is open to critiques

Nice piece amigo.
i felt your imagery
.
.
i dnt knw hw you will feel about this. . . But what if you use a different poetry style rather than making it a blank verse. . .
why not re-construct the poem by spliting it to different parts of lines and stanzas to make it more clear and kill boredom. . .

this is a nice piece. . . I love how you used your apostrophic words
keep it up

Aiyamrex:
Silent old pond
old fish leaped out
silence again!

Silent old pond
up up the hook
what a nice meal!

looking deeply at this poem, u can have many interpretation as u read, but majorly splitted into trio-parts

THE POND
old and silent unti the fish stop it's peace in entrance.

THE FISH
finds joy in its new habitat leaping out for fun but ndt its end when human intervene
so sad

THE HUMAN
finds his meal a delicacy when he caught the fish with his hook. . .

the poem is open to any kind of constructive critique

This poem is just a fight in my head, scared of what to befall humanity after death.
some maybe help or input fears into our minds telling us about hell and paradise.
my fears erupted when i knew what hell does to the dead. . . So i prefer being dead and have no more afterlife experiences

this poem is open to critique

Aiyamrex:
Of ones on Earth with joy resides. . .

Decaying body down down the earth.
. .

sound now the horn of gates unseen
. . .

this poem is nothing but a kind of fiction which your mind made real to you.
just about a kid who died, maybe a boy or a girl who knows?

the first stanza talks of the lost, and how earth painted the kid in dust (buried)

the second stanza however, talks of the funeral, of the kid so loved by everyone.

the last chapter talks of the life after death where death has no power over life.

the poem is however open to any constructive critism.
your critiques make a better me

Every poet is a dumb as' 'round here. . . i doubt our moderators exists. . . no single encouragement

Nice work amigo,
I really like the imagery even though the use of cliches pinched the work. . .
why not break it into shorter stanzas to prevent boring readers down.
Inserting more rhetorical devices will spice up the piece. . .

*show readers your mind rather than telling them literarily e.g ( if i get soaked by the rain ). . . Why not use a rhetorical phrase like (when the hit of the weeping clouds drowns my cloak) just an advice*
even though there are many more, I dnt knw how you feel about the critique, but
its a nice work once again!
it touches my heart and build in my mind some images

Silent old pond
sad fish leaped in
silence again!


#Folorunsho Iyanuoluwa

Of ones on Earth with joy resides;
where sands write dust in the Earth besides.
six feets under s'where your beauty lies
saved out from pains and the world of lies.
O, Death! O Death! poison is thy sting!

Decaying body down down the earth.
oh! Gloomy grave! What a dreadful death!
why pluck not the old but the unripe one?
a kid in shroud mourned by eveyone
O, death! O, death! you child of hell!

sound now the horn of gates unseen
of nature's abode truly free of sin
let the mellow wind carry out the tone
"from dust we come and sure hence we tune"
O' death! O, death! Ados to see us no more.

#Folorunsho_Iyanuoluwa

Misterious Purpose of life is

to cause misery to those

who have it when you have it

and even more misery to those

who have it when you lose it
.
#Folorunsho_Iyanuoluwa

White as melting snow
Heart goes numb and legs fades
They see my ghost
.
#Folorunsho Iyanuoluwa

Great job amigo,
your work is spiced up with enjambments which rhetoricaly long me for the next line.
well, twas kind of a song to me with the rythm i created reading this piece.
i feel your pains and how f*cked life is.
my fav. Line "making me to appreciate sweet harshness of mistery"
(sweet harshness)
i love the use of that oxymoronic device. . .
thank you

keep it coming

Well originated from Japanese poems tho. . . Just following the 7-5-7 moras. . .
short phrases with deep hidden meaning. . .

read again and again to get new messages each time

Well, what will i say than, it's a de-wonder-luxe-ful write up spiced up with some imagery you forced into my head. . . That orange
the field
the birds and those stuffs. . . How i wish you break those pieces into stanzas
and put in some more rhetorical devices. . .
once again
de luxe write up!

Who knows any legit and paying freelance blog or web we writers can work for