₦airaland Forum

AntiMen:
I'm overwhelmed I won't lie, but self control has been my saving grace, yesterday my husband took me to church for a meeting, we met and both of us talked, he was so uncomfortable in front of my husband, I asked him for certain things and I could see he felt something for me, when he looked at my eyes ,he was very shaky...but I understand though..

I also noticed that he exerts self control as regards the issue..,but I'm just praying he can just stop the singling out greetings amongst my other colleagues in church, of which some of them have started noticing that he likes me a lot which I don't want to be subject of discussion among them...

As regards telling my husband, I can't ! , I've done something similar, but you know human will always be human..
I'll keep applying the methods I used previously to curtail this....

chioma134:
I wish to say a big thank you to all nairalanders for your input on this thread. To be honest, I typed the first post as a response to the earlier thread I talked about yesterday, but decided to turn it to a thread because I felt it would have a wider reach and more people would benefit from it. I was honestly surprised to see it made front page.

To all those who saw my point and encouraged me in their posts and likes, I am very grateful. You made me not regret posting this thread. You're the very face of humanity.

To those who condemned me, I say thank you too. Because of your words, I'll never walk that path again by God's grace. However, some of you need to be kinder with your words. Someone else would have become depressed, but I'm used to Nairaland and the toxicity some spue.

To the moderators, thank you for making me make frontpage. I'm sure more people would have learnt one or two things.

I myself have also learnt a lot. I picked some good advice which I believe will benefit my marriage. My marriage was and is still good, but one thing I have taken away from here is to cultivate a closer relationship with my spouse to avoid stories that touch.

Shalom

Ishilove:
I believe you can read very well, as well, She has stopped her improper relationship with him

Emaprince:
The man is actually the one that saved the day.

She is here getting praises as if she was strong enough to zipp up..when it was the man that ignored her first which allowed the burning feelings to wane.

The women we have today are extra cheap to lay. Its just in the hands of the men. Once the man decides not to Bleep...she is saved. But if the man wants it, its ABC.

The man in the story would have slept with the OP severally if he wanted to. The OP is just like other women - weak and cheap. The man freed her..and she dey form born again. No true born again nurtures fornication in her mind talk less adultery. She is probably one of these christ embassy members or new generation churches that throws "born again" about thinking its by mouth. Meanwhile they dress scantily to church.

unscripted:
I want to belive you did not read her story ..

kaymart:
She went physical but she can't admit it

Prettypearl021:
First, It's nice that you've learnt from your story.
But, let us be sincere here.
You actually started this from the moment you felt conversations outside your marriage will be good for you.
That's, you wanted this new friendship. And I believe that most married men would wait till they see that green light of yours before they strike and present their real intentions since you're married, which he actually saw and took advantage.
From your writeup, it didn't look like you've actually repented from this thoughts.
First, you decided to keep away from him because the conversation and your desires started getting cold. His actions made you feel rejected at some point, and you didn't like it.
So you decided to stay away.
You said part of you became happy it ended but another part wanted him, coupled with with the fact that you still communicate once in a while and you know it's not healthy because it was the same COMMUNICATION that started this whole drama.
That's why I said it's not clear if you have actually repented.
DID YOU CHANGE BECAUSE YOU REALIZED YOUR DESIRE FROM THE BEGINNING ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU OR YOU STOPPED THE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE REDUCED THE KIND OF ATTENTION HE GAVE INITIALLY AND TO WHAT YOU WANTED?
Answer this question in your heart and heal completely.

Ishilove:
She has broken it off. What else do you want her to do again? Abi you did not read that part?

DrGoodman:
Sold it to pay those clients you stole their material

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

Sixfiguresmart:
So, she felt bored since she moved in from her previous base. She got not friends around and was always home. Friends has a tasking job.
So, he asked me to call her sometimes when I am free. I call and we have healthy conversations for hours. I am very cautious of any emotional strings. I spell it out to her in clever ways during the conversations.

However, it is becoming addictive. She obliges to certain things only when I ask her to even after declining her husband's suggestions. My friend is so soft and can't seem to handle a tough and educated lady like her.
So, she compares me to him few times and wants him to be like me in terms of being conversational and humurous. Her man isn't willing to change.

So, I am distancing myself away from her because it is becoming an addiction for her to express herself freely with me and spend more time with me rather than my friend. I step in each time they quarrel.

Should I continue the healthy conversation spree or continue with my busy shedule excuses?

heartofcity12:
The types to avoid, you already seen it coming.. Don’t be catfished, don’t let your lust control you #trp

IdanNla:
My girlfriend was rape around March but did not tell me anything about it not until I came back from school and I found out she is acting strange and I got to put up an act so she did tell me what happen after much act she didn’t tell me but lied about the whole thing but I still put more pressure and she later drop a voice note telling me how it happen, that a co worker of hers invited her to his home after work and the same guy had asked her for a relationship which she said no and the guy lockup the matter. So this fateful day she requested or invited her to his house getting there the guy junior brother left for school cause they are daily part-time student after his junior ones leave he roll up weed and started smoking so during the process of smoking or afterward the whole thing started and she claim to fight him and scream but the guy overpower him and had his way with her after which the guy pleaded saying he’s sorry and she left for home and called her best friend which she suggest she reported to the police but my babe told her she don’t wish to pursue any case that the deed has been done already and they both lockup the mater. And she even talk to the guy the next day at work and the guy was like he’s sorry and bought her prevention drug which she collected and use. After that day the guy wanted to start a connection which she refuse and the guy was like what else she did want cause he had already beg so what is with her attitude and the guy lockup with her. Some weeks later she discover she was pregnant and she told the guy which the guy gave her 4K for abortion and she collected the money and did the abortion. After saying all this she pleaded I should not breakup with her cause she don’t know how to manage the aftermath of the breakup and what happened was not her intention that she was sorry such thing happened!! After hearing all these I simple ask her some question about the incident which she don’t have an answer to
*1= A guy asked you for a relationship and you said NO that is the more reason you should not give him chance of being close or being with him alone in a room!!!*

*2= You went to visit such guy at home and you wore a gown like a guy whom ask you for a relationship would not touch you when he had the chance of being alone with you in a room?*

*3= The said guy roll up weed and light it right in front of you and you sat there comfortably!!*

*4= You claimed you fight him but you got no bruises on you or your undies gettting torn nor your cloth*

*5= You talked to the same guy the next day after the incident*

*6= You concluded to act like nothing happen !!!*

If you are to be me what would you decide after processing all this Asin put your self in my shoe or If your Senior Brother came for advice from you stating all this what would you advice

Right now am devastated not knowing what to do cause this is the same girl am planning on marrying next year or so and I love her more than I can actually comprehend.. Right now she is avoiding me etc But what I wanted to do right now is filling a case at the police station as breaking up has not cross my heart yet but to punish the dude for what he did.. [color=#000099][/color]

This is my traditional wedding list...to fulfill for my bride to be mine....This is Americandad...I deactivated my profile for certain reasons. Iv fulfilled the knocking on the door list

Front page pls

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Gracepikin33333:
Good afternoon Nairalanders!

I have been suspecting my wife for some weeks now, so i decided to go through his phone whatsapp chats when she was asleep last night.



I saw her chat with her ex on how they both had sex when they were together before we got married and his ex was asking her about the last time we both had sex. Questions like did she enjoy it? They were both telling themselves how much they do miss each other. He was even trying to persuade my wife to find time for him. Please advise me on what to do!